CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
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Ryder
LIFE HAD A WAY OF speeding up without anyone noticing.
Vesper and I remained in our happy bubble for two weeks. She went to work; I renovated the house. Once Barb was cleared of any infection from her wired-shut muzzle, she moved in with Vesper which mellowed Visa surprisingly.
Our texts never ceased and my thoughts never strayed from her.
She sometimes slept over while others she returned home. I brought home a rescue or two and she started introducing Visa and Barb to Scar and Hippo (on the one time she was able to coax her opinionated pussy into the car).
For a single bachelor, my life suddenly became obsessed with togetherness and family.
When Vesper wasn’t working, and I wasn’t bothering her with new rescues, we hung out like every-day couples.
We went to the movies to see the new James Bond (which she didn’t care for), and in return I accompanied her to the latest chick flick (that I didn’t care for). However, I loved every corny pick-up line because she held my hand and allowed me to cop a feel in the dark.
It was a win-win, really. Distracting her got me hard and gave me a reprieve from actually listening to sexually repressed dialogue.
A few days later, she gave me a hand job in my Mustang in the parking lot of McDonalds when we’d both had a crazy long night with an abused Zuchon, and hadn’t eaten all day. I’d repaid the finger service the following afternoon when I’d popped into her surgery and she’d had half an hour free between appointments.
We were damn insatiable but not just for sex. For each other.
I ached like the fucking flu when we were apart. And when she was in my arms, I got itchy at the thought of her leaving. I didn’t like her away from me, and as stupid as it was, I wanted to ask her to move in.
In fact, I would never ever admit this out loud, but I was doing my best to come up with a way to help her out financially, so she could continue to donate to the shelter and be able to afford decadent meals for herself.
However, I hadn’t come up with a way that wouldn’t be a slap in her face or come across as meddling.
One day, while Vesper was chained at work, I’d visited the shelter to check out their list of top sponsors. I was now in the records thanks to my good deeds, but Vesper had been there long before I had.
How had I never noticed her name in the top three donators before?
Not just her personally but the surgery was a donator, too.
Did I need to have a word with her about financial forecast and stability? Had she forward planned retirement and thought about what she would do if, heaven forbid, she could never work again?
I loved her generosity, but it also made me nervous as hell.
* * *
“Do you want to come around tomorrow night?” Vesper asked during one of our late-night phone calls.
I’d seen her today for a quick lunch at the surgery but hadn't been able to head to hers tonight as she’d had another online conference with the stuffy bigwigs of the veterinary council.
“Just try to keep me away.” I sprawled in my bed, inhaling Vesper from the last time she’d slept over. She didn’t sleep here often enough for my liking but at least she’d started leaving little things like a spare toothbrush and a couple of extra clean panties for the shame dash into work the next morning.
Her voice held a smile. “I’ll make some tagliatelle; I know you like pastas.”
The thought of her making me a home-cooked meal made me grateful and upset. How much of her weekly budget would go to that one meal and what would she eat afterward if she insisted on giving most of her paycheck away?
“I’ll even dress up as a sexy chef and wear nothing under the apron.”
I bit my fist. “You’d do that for me?”
“I’d do whatever you wanted.”
My body tightened. “Including bending over the counter and letting me sink inside you from behind?”
“Yum, especially that.”
“Hell yes, I’m—” My erotic fantasy slammed to a stop. “Ah, shit, I can’t come over tomorrow.”
“Oh?” Sadness filled her tone, then was covered by false joviality. “Oh okay, no problem. Another time.”
“Don’t do that. Say you’re pissed at me and ask why I’m standing you up.”
The phone line crackled before she sucked in a breath. “Okay, fine. I’m not happy. I’m going to miss you and it will suck and I’ll end up having lonely pasta for one with Visa and Barb.”
“There’s my girl. Damn it turns me on knowing that you’re going to miss me.”
“Are you going to miss me ?”
“Like a bloody lovesick fool.”
“Well that’s a consolation prize at least. I hope it hurts. ”
“Oh, Ves, it will, believe me. Knowing I could be with you instead of entertaining someone else will be a dagger in my bleeding heart.”
The line crackled again.
I waited for her to demand to know who I was entertaining. I knew she cared deeply for me. We hadn’t come out and used the word that dangled around our hearts like blazing billboards but I knew she would stew if she didn’t ask.
And frankly, it kinda pissed me off that she never asked who Fiona was from my stupid text about Fi saying Ves should like me. Not that it mattered now as they’d met about a week ago and become almost as close as her and Polly.
Damn women and their brethren.
“Go on, Ves. Spit it out.”
An explosive sigh hit my ear. “Are you trying to make me jealous or are you just proving a point?”
“A bit of both. But it depends on what point I’m trying to prove.”
“The stupid point being you’re trying to make me admit that I’m in lo—” She wrenched to a stop. She coughed. “Um, the point being that I’m incredibly possessive of you and don’t like the thought of you being with anyone else but me.”
I practically hyperventilated at the almost slip.
Did she love me?
Fuck, I hope she does.
“Does it soothe your jealousy knowing my date tomorrow night has a penis?”
“Not really. I know how irresistible you are. If they’re gay, then I have to worry about the male species as well as my own moving in on my territory.”
“Your territory, huh?”
“Yep. I might have to pee on you. It works in the animal kingdom. It could work at keeping hussies and eager men away.”
“And what if this man was related? Would you be worried then? ”
“Oh my God, even more worried! You slept with your so-called cousin. Multiple times, I might add.” Her outburst rang with laugher. “No family relation is safe.”
“Ah, I love yo…ur sense of humour.”
Holy shit, I almost slipped.
Good save, Ry. Good save.
We were both on a slippery slope tonight.
Time to end the call before more confessions happened.
“You love my sense of humour?” Her voice was hesitant. “That’s all you love?”
I scowled at the ceiling, cursing myself. “Yup. That’s what I said. Sense of humour. Love it. Great. Funny stuff, VV.”
She tutted. “Right. Because that’s exactly what I want you to love about me.” The hook dangled, and I swam toward it like the sucker I was.
I love your smile, your laugh, your face, your body, your soul, your kindness, your intelligence, your empathy, the way you sleep, the mole on your butt, your vanilla smell.
I love you.
But I was a man not a fish, and I didn’t take the bait.
Doing my best to change the subject, I chuckled. “Remember I said I had an older brother? He’s arriving in town tomorrow night. I promised him clean sheets and a roof to sleep under. I have to uphold my side of the bargain even though I literally have no finished bedroom to store him in.”
“He’s your brother, not a piece of luggage. You mean look after him not store him.”
“Meh, same thing.”
Vesper giggled. “So, you’re cheating on me with your brother?”
“Seems that way.”
“I might have to report you.”
“Or punish me?”
She whispered, “That could be arranged.”
My cock stiffened. “Don’t say things like that in that sexy way unless you want a midnight visitor. ”
“I always want a midnight visitor if it’s you.”
“You say the nicest things to me.”
“And I mean them. See what a great girlfriend I am?”
My heart clenched. “You’re better than great. You’re the best.”
“And this conversation just veered into cheesy territory.”
I sighed. “Can you blame me?”
“Yes, I can actually. I was never this infatuated before. You’re interfering with my life.”
“If I wasn’t interfering, I’d be fucking heartbroken because it would mean you didn’t like me.”
Silence fell.
I hesitated then asked a juvenile but much needed question. “You do like me, Ves…don’t you?”
“Seriously, Ry? Fishing for compliments now?”
“Fishing for confirmation of your affection.”
“You already know how I feel about you.”
“I do?”
Silence again.
That damn third-party awkwardness and annoying cupid fluttering around us with his arrows ruined everything.
Vesper finally murmured, “You know as well as I do what we’re avoiding. And when we finally find the balls to be honest with each other, we’ll do it in person and not over the phone.”
My hand slipped down my body, cupping between my legs. “I have balls. Holding two of them right now. Maybe I’ll just come out and say it.”
“Do it and you’ll ruin what you’ll get after you do. Because I’m not there to leap on you.”
“Wait…what do I get?”
“It’s a surprise.” She yawned. “Now, I really need to get to sleep. Big day tomorrow. We’re inducing a Peke-A-Tese to deliver eight little puppies. The litter is too big for her to give birth naturally so we’re helping her out.”
“Working on a tease while you’re a tease. Saying you’ll leap on me and then hang up to care for a pooch. I see how it is. ”
“I know, I’m evil.”
“Wrong. You’re the best person I know.”
“And you’re the best person now and forever, Ry.”
My cheeks ached from grinning but my heart hurt from loving this girl. Keeping it a secret (although a badly kept one seeing as I insisted on hugging her every chance I got) weighed on me. I wanted to say it out loud. I needed to say the words and make it real.
I wanted to know what it felt like when she knew one hundred percent that I was irrevocably in love with her.
But she was right.
Something of that magnitude was best kept for face to face.
I could wait.
One more night.