CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
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Vesper
“I’M SO GLAD I’M ON the pill.” I rubbed my forehead with the back of my surgical glove as Polly and I helped extract yet another puppy from the poor Peke-A-Tese. She’d been knocked up by a renegade Jack Russell who pillaged the neighbourhood.
Being slightly bigger than her and Jack Russell’s notoriously having large litters; her poor birth canal would suffer too much to deliver naturally. Both her and the puppies would’ve died if her owner hadn’t had the foresight to bring her in for an ultrasound with our fancy equipment and book in a C-section.
Amanda stood beside me, while another vet student, Sophie, stood beside Polly. After we extracted each puppy, the girls towelled off the amniotic fluid, wiped down their scrunched-up faces, used a syringe to extract any mucus from their noses, and flipped them onto their stomachs to rub their tiny backs, mimicking mum’s licking to wake them up.
So far we’d delivered four out of eight and each one was alive and mewling for milk.
We had to work fast.
“I’m just glad most humans statistically only give birth to one. I mean, I know there’s the freak odd case of octuplets but that’s normally because of meddling with science not nature.” Polly shuddered as she cut the umbilical cord on another puppy. “Is it wrong of me not to want children? Not because I don’t want to go through the pain of childbirth but because I hate the way the world is becoming with chemicals in our food and danger all around?” She looked up, her eyes wide and slightly sad while her face was covered by a surgical mask. We all wore hair nets and scrubs, hiding most of our features.
“I don’t think that’s stupid at all. I get it.” Handing over the second to last puppy to Amanda, I added, “I’m still on the fence about having a baby. Partly because of what you just said but mostly because I think I’d drive myself nuts trying to protect it. I’d be that mum, you know? The one that doesn’t let her child walk to school even though they’re sixteen and threatening to run away from home if they don’t get some independence.”
Amanda quipped. “My mum was like that. Smothered us. So we did the opposite. I was doing pot with the badass dropouts from school at fourteen just because I wanted to prove I could be stupid and stay alive.”
“There, you see.” I pointed at Amanda while looking at Polly. “My point is made. I think I’ll stick to cats and dogs and a pig or two.”
“A pig?” Polly startled, passing the last puppy to Sophie. “What the hell do pigs have to do with it?”
I giggled. “Whoops, I forgot to tell you. Ryder has a pigmy pig called Hippo. She’s a darling wee thing.”
“By wee you mean a perfect pork chop?”
“Don’t be mean.” I glanced at Amanda. “Place the litter into the incubator and mix up the formula like I showed you. We’ll finish up here and put the mum into recovery.”
Amanda nodded. “Okay.” She and Sophie took the brand-new squirmy life from the room. I didn’t entirely trust her, but Polly and I would be busy for the next thirty minutes sewing up this brave little Peke-A-Tese .
As we got to work doing something we knew inside out, Polly said, “It’s getting serious with him, isn’t it?”
I shrugged, pulling a needle through the small incision we’d made.
“Don’t you shrug me, Vessie. I know you and I’ve never seen you this way. You seem older but younger. Wiser but sillier. You seem to have a relaxation and nervousness all at the same time.”
“Wow, I sound like a basket case.”
“I wasn’t going to put it in so many words, but yeah.” Polly laughed softly. “Kinda are.”
“So if you already know why I’m acting so strange, you tell me if it’s serious or not.”
Polly dropped her eyes, adding a few internal stitches from her end. “I think you’ll end up marrying him. And I’m so damn happy for you, Ves, but I’m freaking terrified at the same time.”
It wasn’t the word marriage that made me gasp but the fact my best friend was afraid.
The needle slipped from my hands. “What? Why?”
“I know I should be supportive and see the glass half full and gaining a brother-in-law from my sister from another mister, but I don’t. I feel a little lost because you’ve got a life outside of me and this practice now. And I knew it would happen eventually—I kinda hoped it would be me doing the nesting thing first, but whatever.” She laughed again, not quite pulling it off. Her gaze dropped to our patient and her steady hands. “I don’t know what I’m trying to say. I love you, that’s all. And I miss you. Even though you’re standing right there.”
It wasn’t protocol and I sure as hell wouldn’t put up with it if it was anyone else but me and Polly, but I skirted around the operating table and hugged her. We stood there for a few seconds, leaning into each other before separating and returning to work.
No words were needed. And concentration on something bigger than ourselves kept our thoughts centred and calm.
Once we’d finished our task and sewed up the snow-white Peke-A-Tese in companionable silence, we added gauze and placed a cone around the slowly rousing doggy’s head so she couldn’t get to the stitches.
I sighed, rolling my shoulders as we washed our instruments. “I love you, Pol. And there will always be a place for you in my life—whether I marry this one or another or end up a spinster with piglets. And I’m not seeing Ryder tonight. Come around. We’ll have a sleep over like old times. We’ll get drunk, watch movies, and be single together.”
Polly’s spine slouched in utter gratefulness. “You mean that? Truly?” It was her turn to drop her scalpel into disinfectant and squeeze me. “Thank you, Vessie. It’s been…well, I’ll tell you when we hang out tonight. But it’s been lonely without you.” Pecking my cheek, she helped me wheel our brand-new puppy mummy into recovery.
* * *
That night, when the doorbell chimed, my heart leapt for an entirely different reason.
It wasn’t because of Ryder or anticipation of kinky sexy time.
It was because I’d missed my best friend.
I’d been selfish for not giving her a second thought while I was in my love bubble with my sexy man.
I’m a bad friend.
But tonight, I would make up for it with sugar overload, awful viewing material, and juicy gossip. I would fully break the rules of secrecy about what Ryder and I had been up to in the bedroom if it made her feel better.
Opening the door, I squealed, letting my inner wild child come out. “Girls unite!”
“You’re such a dork.” Polly stood with her arms full of blankets, pillows, and junk food. “Get me inside before your neighbours think I’m moving in and increase your rent.”
Taking some of her hoard, I skipped into the lounge and threw the lot onto the couch. I’d already pushed aside the coffee table and rolled out a few squishy yoga mats onto the carpet so we could lie down and Netflix for hours.
Last night, the thought of not spending the evening with Ryder had crushed me. Now, I was glad his brother was in town because it meant me and Polly had some quality time.
However, while I bounced like a loon and headed into the kitchen to grab the overly buttered popcorn, fizzy bubbly, and a mix bag of sweeties that I could afford from the discount aisle, Polly sat heavily on the couch and grabbed Visa in a bear hug.
Barb crawled over to her too, pampered and warm in her woolly jumper that I’d bought her when I was in the pet store with Ryder.
“Pol…what is it?”
Abandoning the snacks on the kitchen table, I dashed to her. Taking her hand, I pulled her into me while she buried her face into Visa’s marmalade scruff. Visa adored Polly. Sometimes more than I thought she loved me.
Perhaps, I should let her take her home.
She needed a pet. I kept telling her that, but in all our years together she’d not once got a little soul to cuddle. She said she would love that little animal too damn much and when the inevitable came to say goodbye, it would destroy her.
I got that—knowing we’d outlive a beloved pet was hard. But weren’t the happy memories worth it?
“Pol, talk to me. You’re scaring me.”
“Sorry, Vessie. I just…I’ve missed talking shit with you and I’ve been holding onto this for maximum effect.” She looked up, her lips pursed. I didn’t know if she was holding back laughter or tears. “Ready to be my agony aunt?”
My mind ran wild.
What was it that she wanted to talk to me about? Had she had enough of working together? Did she want to trade me in for another bestie?
What ?
“I’ll be whatever you want me to be.” My heart raced. “You’re scaring me, though. Are you okay?”
Thoughts of her being diagnosed with something, or hurt, or homeless, or all manner of things filled my head. Then guilt squatted with pressure and remorse. I’d become so wrapped up in myself, I hadn’t even thought to ask how her life outside Tales of Tails was faring.
Twisting to face her, I kept hold of her hand while she hugged Visa. “You can tell me anything. And I’ll do everything I can to make it better.”
My phone decided to cock-a-doodle-doo at me, vibrating on the couch where I’d thrown it. I looked down, too disciplined with work and emergencies to ignore it. I was the vet on call tonight.
However, it wasn’t a call out. It was Ryder.
My heart flipped to answer it.
But common decency made me ignore him.
He would understand.
Polly was my first priority tonight.
She narrowed her eyes as if expecting me to pick up. When I didn’t, her face contorted with a torrent of confession. “When you slept with Ryder that first time, I knew something had changed. I saw how happy you were and I was ecstatic for you. You’ve been on your own for so long. Your parents are jerks and I always wanted you to be loved like I loved you. So I wanted to give you space. I wanted you to feel like you could move on with him without worrying about me.”
When she didn’t continue, I encouraged. “And you were the best in giving that support.”
She sucked in a deep breath. “I didn’t want you to feel pressured to split your time with me, so I decided to put myself out there.” She gulped. “I went back on that dating website. I made a new profile. I met someone. I wasn’t stupid, and we chatted a bit at first then I arranged a public date. Seeing as this is such a small town, I had to drive two hours into the city to meet him.”
Her eyes glazed, taking a trip back to the past. “When I got there, he was sweet. We made small talk. We ordered. It was going okay. But then…something happened.”
My heart sprang out of my chest and scurried to hide because as a woman—as her best friend—I already knew where this was going.
“Oh no, Pol. No .” Tears pricked my eyes. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?” I clutched her hand. “Did he—did he rape you?”
Her lips thinned; her body shuddered.
Then she exploded with cackles. “I love you for leaping to the worst. And I’m so sorry for making you jump to that conclusion. That’s very poor form of me. But you should see your face!” She snickered. “You’re ready to murder someone.”
Temper raced through my blood. “Damn right, I’m ready to murder someone. If anyone touched you wrong. Bang. He’d be dead. Dead as a dead. ” I mimicked firing a gun with my thumb and forefinger. “So what happened? Why the hell are you laughing? Is this one of those things where you’ve repressed the bad and become hysterical?”
My mind tripped over itself, trying to remember what to do in cases such as these. We’d had rape rallies at university. What to do. What doctor to see. What police report to fill out. I’d hoped to God none of us needed to know such awful information.
However, Polly was scaring me.
What the hell happened?
She patted my hand that’d curled into a fist. “I’m being dramatic and milking this stupid story for all it’s worth. Nothing bad happened. I’m just having fun. I want you to ooh and ahh and go along with me, okay?”
I scowled. “Okaaaay.”
“Oh my God!” Pols flung up her hands. “It was awful, Ves. Dating is the worst .”
“Oh no !” I played along. “Tell me! I just can’t take it.” My heart rate slowly stopped trying to pulverise my ribs. “Go on, spit it out. You’re annoying me.”
She laughed again. “You’re adorable.”
“You’re being a tease.”
“Okay, okay. I didn’t want to moan because you’ve found the most perfect male specimen in history. I didn’t want to share my disaster in case I sounded jealous.”
I grinned. “Go on…”
She sighed dramatically. “Dear God, there are men and then there are…others.”
I giggled.
She smirked. “It was terrible. He was good looking enough, charming enough. We’d got along okay online. There were no glitter-cannons or party poppers when we met but I was happy to give him a chance, you know?”
“That’s what getting wet in the dating pool requires.”
“Exactly.” She nodded importantly. “So, I figured if Ves can overlook Ryder being a jerk and his bossy commands at the start, I can look past the occasional burp or finger clicking at the waitress.”
“He did that? Wow, that’s rude.”
She agreed, “I know, right. Very rude. Anywho, there we were—food ordered and waiting, trying to keep small talk going while our dinner arrived. When it did arrive, that’s when things got weird.”
I leaned forward, hooked on her story, desperate to know what happened. “What? What got weird?”
She tickled Visa as the cat pawed her loose chestnut hair. “I had gnocchi and he had fettuccine. At first, he ate the garlic bread with his hands. Seems normal. Fair enough. How else do you eat bread? But then…” She gulped for dramatics. “Then he picked up his creamy, slurpy noodles with his fingers and proceeded to dangle them over his mouth in the middle of the restaurant.” Her eyes widened in horror. “The sauce, Ves! It ended up everywhere . His tongue was out trying to catch the end of the slippery sucker. His face was splashed with cream making him look like he’d jizzed all over himself.” She groaned. “I couldn’t eat. My appetite went poof and I wanted to vanish in mortification as he dropped some pasta onto the floor and picked up and—”
“No!” I gasped. “He didn’t .”
“He did! He picked it up and ate it. There was dirt on it. Dirt!”
We shuddered together.
I laughed at her expense but secretly was so glad Ryder had the upbringing of a sane person and not a runaway mental patient.
I’m so lucky I can take him in public.
“So…what did you do?” I held up my fingers, wiggling them for Barb to butt against for cuddles.
“Well, you know me; I’m too polite to say anything. So I sat there as he slurped up the entire bowl, wiped his mouth with his tie, and proceeded to ask to split the cheque but only had a ten dollar bill on him and no credit cards and made me pick up the rest.”
“Wow, what a disaster.”
“He tried to kiss me as he walked me back to my car. However, my politeness snapped and I hopped in, locked the door, and peeled outta there as if I was a rally driver.”
“Good for you. I hope you left a scathing one-star review on his dating profile.”
“Wait, you can do that? You can review how a date went?”
I giggled. “No idea. I doubt it. Guess that would be the epitome of bullying. But wow, that sounds worse than the common nightmare of being naked with no teeth.”
“Tell me about it.” She squeezed Visa until she meowed angrily. “I think I just have to concede that I might as well hang up a battered sign over my V-jay-jay that says ‘haunted, keep out’ and give up.”
“Aw, don’t be like that. Plenty more dogs in the park that know how to use utensils.”
“Yes, but how many mutts do I have to go through to find a pedigree?”
I nudged her. “Oh, good analogy.”
She grinned. “Thanks. I try.”
“You can’t let this stop you from trying. True love is worth it. ”
She buried her face into Visa’s fur. “Ugh, I hate you all preachy. Stop being all loved up for a second and admit that you struck gold while I’m still panning for rocks.”
“Can’t. I’m too high on orgasms.”
She pinched me. “One of these days, I’m going to be just as smug as you and shove your nose in it.”
“That’s the spirit. Don’t give up.” I laughed. “Besides, I’ll never be jealous as I’m never letting Ryder stray from my honey trap so we’ll both be smug together.”
“Does he know he’s a prisoner for life?”
“He has an inkling.”
She sighed, letting Visa leap from her lap before draping her arms over the back of the couch. “Man, it feels good to tell you, though. I’ve been holding that in.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I did my best to hide the hurt in my tone. “We tell each other everything. Crap, you should’ve texted me while on the date and sent a picture of the buffoon with pasta face.”
“That would’ve been rude.”
“True. And that would be bad because we are respectable, tolerant women who don’t judge.”
We burst into laughter.
Leaning over, I kissed her cheek. “Well, he doesn’t know what he missed out on. Lucky for me, you’re still all mine.”
Polly cracked a smile. “Is it wrong that I fantasised he choked on his pasta and some sexy waiter came up, gave him the Heimlich, and then took one look at me and ordered me into the supply closet to make up for the gorilla I was on a date with?”
“Nope. It means you have a healthy libido and one day soon, some guy is going to be very, very lucky.”
She hugged me. “I love you, Vessie. Somehow, you’ve already made me feel better. I know I’m in for a world of pain finding ‘the one’ but I’m glad I can share my disastrous attempts with you.”
“You’ll always have me. ”
“Even when you’re preggers and shacked up?”
“I thought we agreed that multiplying with our own children wasn’t going to happen. Creatures that need adopting will be my babies of choice.”
“In that case, I’ll offer my services as animal nanny.”
I shook my head. “You’ll be too busy looking after your own brood and beyond-sexy-awesome husband.”
Polly sighed. “Finding a man I trust and could fall in love with seems less likely than me flying to Jupiter and finding a handsome alien to probe.”
I laughed. “I think you’ll find the aliens do the probing, not the humans.”
She grinned coyly. “Not if he wants a go with me. I have a sudden fascination of sampling my dominatrix side.”
I couldn’t help it. I blurted in one running sentence, “I did that the other night while Ryder wore a dog collar and I ordered him around the bedroom and oh my God it was the hottest thing and wow I want to do it again.”
She froze. “I had no idea you were so kinky.”
“Neither did I. Until him.”
“Seems he’s made you open doors you’d kept locked, huh?”
I shrugged. “Seems that way.”
“And unlocked your heart.”
I turned into a gooey mess. “And definitely unlocked my heart.”
“Okay, I’ve had enough of this conversation.” Untangling herself and pushing away a demanding cat and dog, Polly said, “Time for vodka, bad food, and silly movies.”
“I’m down.”
Ten minutes later, we had our adult juices and hands full of popcorn. Settling on the floor, we draped our legs with the blanket Polly had brought and turned on a rom-com courtesy of Netflix and vegged.
* * *
Ryder: I miss you so goddamn much. My brother is fun, but he’s not you .
Me: I miss you, too. It’s been an enlightening evening and I’m even more grateful for what we have.
Ryder: I like hearing that. Just how grateful are we talking, exactly?
Me: Blow job every day for a week and then any position you want grateful.
Ryder: Wow, that much? I might have to oblige with your needs.
Me: I have so many needs.
Ryder: And I’ll do everything in my power to satisfy each and every itch.
Me: If you do, I’ll feel guilty. I already feel guilty.
Ryder: What on earth for? If anyone deserves some sexy pampering, it’s you.
Me: Polly struck an ignoramus on her last foray into the dating cesspool. She has no one while I have...
Ryder: Me? You have me. You can say it. And everyone encounters a dickhead while searching for the perfect ending. Hell, I had an ex that made me almost swear off women forever.
Okay, didn’t really want to discuss exes while talking about our naughty bits getting it on, but whatever. I could ignore it and continue with the happier thread.
Me: I was going to say I have the most wonderful incredible down-right sexy man ever created but yeah, I guess just a simple answer would suffice.
Ryder: My brother is passed out from beer. Come here. I need to start redeeming these grateful gifts you want to give me. My cock heard the word blow job and is insanely interested.
Me: Would love to but can’t. Polly needs me. She hates anyone with a deep voice and a third leg right now.
Ryder: Well, bring her here, too. My brother gets bored easily. He’ll need entertaining. Both of you should spend the day with us tomorrow.
Me: I’m not so sure that would be a good idea.
“God, what time is it?” Polly turned over, covering her eyes from the glare of my phone. We’d fallen asleep thanks to too many vodkas and binge watching on the floor .
“Almost three a.m., go back to sleep.” My fingers hovered over the keypad, ready to tell my man that he needed to respect girl time.
However, she murmured, “Are you messaging Ryder?”
“Yes.”
“Is he calling for booty?”
I smiled; glad she could still make a joke while dealing with dating disappointment. “No. He’s badgering me to bring you around to his place tomorrow.”
Sleep left her gaze. “Really?”
I nodded. “His older brother is in town. He’s offered us to go over together.”
Apprehension filled her gaze. “Oh no, another male. You haven’t met his brother, right? Can you confirm he’s not an imbecile with nose-picking fetishes or strange eating customs?”
Oh, Pol.
“I can’t. But if he’s anything like Ryder, he’s going to be a gruff, sarcastic teddy-bear with a heart of gold.”
Polly bit her lower lip. “And he’s invited me. You sure you didn’t invite me?”
“Nope.” I showed her the screen, making her squint again. “All him.”
Her eyes scanned my messages. “I agree with him that you shouldn’t feel guilty for being happy.” She leaned up, placing a kiss on my cheek. “You’re the best. And this is exactly what I needed, Ves. You’re awesome. If you promise to be there just in case he turns out to be a donkey, I’d love to go and see Ryder’s house and find out where the hell he puts all those dogs he brings in.” She laughed. “He doesn’t boil them into a soup, does he? ‘Cause that would be the worst thing ever.”
I giggled. “No, he has this amazing barn conversion. And the river, Pol. Wow.” My heart swooned even as my body melted at the memory of what we did at said river.
She rolled onto her back. “I know this is a stupid, crazy idea but how about we close the practice tomorrow? Pet Curers up the road can take any slack; we’ll put their number on the answer machine for any emergencies. And still take any calls that are urgent, urgent.” Her hand found mine in the dark. “I just really need this with you. I need to be with other people who are normal, away from work and home. I need a good laugh. Would that be okay?”
“It would be more than okay.”
I didn’t care about the loss of potential income. I did worry that pet owners would be stressed but as long as the other vet across town was open and they knew it was only for one day, then I couldn’t see the harm. There was a thing called workaholicism and unfortunately, Polly and I had been infected by it.
“Text him back.” She tapped my phone. “Tell him he has a date.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
Me: Polly will accept your date. She says it’s a good idea, after all. When should we come over? I’m taking your other unsolicited advice from when we first started chatting and playing hooky all day.
Ryder: I love that my bad influence is rubbing off on you.
Me: I’ll be rubbing off something else tomorrow.
Ryder: I’ll hold you to that.
Me: So…time? What should we bring?
Ryder: Just your beautiful self and your business partner. Rupe and I will take care of the rest.
Me: You’ve got yourself a party.
Ryder: Is it in my pants?
Me: The one with exclusive invitation just for the two of us is.
Ryder: I’m glad Rupert isn’t invited. I have a confession to make.
Me: Oh?
Ryder: I was nervous about you meeting Rupert as I didn’t want you to think he was the better model and trade me in. With Polly there, you’ll be forced to stay with me because that would just be awkward stepping on your friend’s playing field.
Me: Somehow, I don’t think Polly will be looking for a hook-up. She’s scarred for life from the last one .
Ryder: Rupe won’t either but he’s a sucker for a damsel in distress.
Me: Polly isn’t a damsel. She’s a freaking ninja.
Ryder: She’s a girl who will be left alone at some point in our festivities while I go and do bad things to you. Ergo, damsel. Believe me; he’ll take good care of her.
Me: That gives me mixed feelings .
Ryder: About the bad things or Rupe’s exemplary care?
Me: Both.
Ryder: Guess we better discuss the rules in the morning .
Me: I guess.
Ryder: Ves?
Me: Yes?
Ryder: I’m really, really looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. I’ve missed you .
Me: I swear you say things like that to keep me in a permanent state of puddle-like infatuation.
Ryder: I like you in a puddle. It means I made you wet.
Me: No disputing that.
Ryder: Fuck, is it tomorrow yet?
Me: If you let me go to sleep it will be.
Ryder: Fine, best vet in the world. Go to bed—without me. I’ll make sure you make it up to me when we see each other.
Me: Deal. Goodnight.
Ryder: Sleep tight.
Locking my phone, I caught Polly watching me.
Her lips stretched into a sleepy smile. “That man is seriously addicted to you.”
“Or just having a good time.” For some reason, admitting just how much Ryder meant to me suddenly seemed beyond smug and just cruel.
However, Polly didn’t let me get away with it. “Vesper Carla Fairfax, if you belittle how he feels about you or how you feel about him one more time, I’m going to bop you one.”
“ Bop me?”
“Bop you.” She fake punched me in the side of the head. “Bop. ”
“Okay, okay, no more trying to protect your feelings, sheesh.” I gave her a grin.
“Good.” She nodded importantly, snuggling back into our nest on the floor. “Because if you don’t start owning just how rare and magical your connection is, then you’re both morons and I don’t do stupid people.”
Rolling over, our backs touched, our feet brushing in goodnight like we did at university after an all-nighter study session.
“Got it, no more stupidness.”
“That’s my girl.” Polly yawned. “Now go to sleep, so we’re not haggard hoe-bags for our double date tomorrow.”
I smiled in the dark. “You do realise the Urban Dictionary elaborates on that word rather well.”
Polly asked sleepily, “It does?”
“Yep. The exact definition is a person—preferably a woman—who is such a hoe that their vagina has been stretched to such an extent that it can be used as a bag to carry things such as mail, yoga balls, iPods, and crayons. Look it up. That stuff is on Google.”
Polly rolled over, her eyes bugging. “Crayons? There are women who put crayons and iPods up their twatwaffles?”
“Apparently.”
“Well, I’ll use another turn of phrase then because I sure as hell don’t want household equipment up there.”
We burst out laughing before falling asleep with images of things going in girly places that should never be used in such ways.
Unless it was with Ryder.
And it was his perfect package.
I slept with a smile on my face .