Chapter Eight
Katrina
“You’re going on a date?” my daughter asked, exasperation evident in her tone.
“It’s not a date; you’re coming to.”
“No, I’m not,” she argued, turning her back on me and walking out of my room.
Abandoning my closet, I followed her down the hall. “You can’t stay here alone, Frankie.”
“Then call Maggie. See if I can stay with them.”
Though Frankie and Cami had gotten close in such a short time, I couldn’t stop the doubts and fears of letting her have a friend. I knew I was being unreasonable. Every girl needed a best friend. Except for me. I’d done that once before, and she’d betrayed me in a way I would never recover from.
“Frankie,” I cried.
“No!” She spun around, her face angry. “I’m not going out with you and some random guy.”
“He’s not exactly random. He’s part of the club.”
“Because that worked out so freaking well last time,” she snarked.
She was right. I never should have said yes, but I figured with Frankie there as a buffer, it wouldn’t really be a date.
“You like Jack,” I said, trying desperately to gain her approval for once again making a stupid decision that would likely have dire consequences.
“Jack is different. He has a wife and kids.”
“Well, I think there would be a bigger issue if I were having dinner with a married man,” I muttered.
Frankie pinned me with a look that said she wasn’t impressed with my attempt to lighten the mood.
“Look, he caught me off guard, okay? I said yes because he offered for you to come too, so it didn’t feel like I was saying yes to a date.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me. I knew I didn’t have the best track record, but we’d gotten to know Jack and Sam a little, and well, I still had a weird feeling every time Jack looked at Frankie, but I trusted Sam.
She was a mom, but it was more than that. Even though Sam was a few years younger than me, there was something about her that left you with a warm feeling after talking to her. She was the type of person you could talk to and she listened.
Really listened.
“You’re right.” I sighed. “I’ll call Sam and get his number to cancel.”
“He didn’t even give you his number?” she shouted, throwing her hands in the air. “Mom, he did that so you couldn’t cancel. That’s a huge red flag,” she insisted.
I dropped down onto the couch and sighed, holding my head in my hands. All I wanted to do was cry. Why was this so hard for me? Why could I see the red flags for my daughter, but not for myself?
“Fine,” she huffed, and I looked up at her.
“What?” I asked.
“We can go have dinner. It’s a free meal, right?” she asked with a smirk. “I’ll ask him questions and sus him out for you.”
I jumped off the couch and faced my daughter. She clearly had the wrong idea.
“I don’t need you to sus him out. I don’t want to date him.”
Frankie shrugged. “He’s not ugly,” she stated.
No, he wasn’t ugly. But he didn’t make my heart race, not the way someone else did. Zero didn’t have me thinking about him nonstop; in fact, I almost forgot about tonight until Frankie asked me what was for dinner.
“I should cancel,” I mumbled, falling back onto the couch and tilting my head back to stare at the ceiling, contemplating every life choice I’d ever made. There was only one that I never regretted, even for a second. And she sat down next to me on the couch.
“Do you find him attractive?” Frankie asked.
“He’s good-looking,” I agreed.
“Then he deserves a shot at least, I guess. And if you need me there to make sure you don’t do something dumb like fall into his bed on the first date—”
“Francesca Delilah Lewis!”
Frankie grinned at me, and I rolled my eyes. “No more television for you.”
Frankie laughed, knowing I was talking bullshit.
We watched TV together every evening, but I tried to stick to the older shows.
The ones that weren’t quite as filled with sex as they were nowadays.
Then again, the older shows might have just gone over my head because I watched them when I was young.
I’d pulled up a couple of episodes of Blossom after Slyce compared Frankie to Six. There were definitely way more innuendoes than I remembered.
“It’s one date, right?” Frankie said, and I sighed, rolling my head to look at my daughter.
“One date,” I agreed.
It was almost six o’clock, and I was pacing the living room in a panic. I should have canceled. Why was I listening to my twelve-year-old? Probably because she was smarter than me. She even helped me pick my outfit.
A basic pair of jeans and a semi-dressy top. And by semi-dressy, I meant a vintage tee and a leather jacket. Frankie had even given up her comfortable leggings and hoodie for a look similar to mine.
Frankie and I eyed each other when we heard a door slam. Her expression was one of humor, and I knew she was laughing at the look of fear on mine.
The knock was strong without being forceful, and I winced, thinking about how I was listening for something in the way he knocked on the door.
I was beginning to think there might actually be something wrong with me.
I looked for the worst in people, but somehow still didn’t see it when everyone else did.
With a deep breath, I answered the door and froze. “Oh,” I breathed. Zero stood on the porch with flowers in his hand. Frankie was right; my non-date was definitely a date.
At least in his mind.
My hands trembled as I took the flowers from his outstretched hand. “Thank you,” I offered with a weak smile. “I’ll put these in some water before we leave.”
Why hadn’t I offered to meet him there? Now the ride to the diner would be awkward. Thank God Frankie had agreed to come with us. I prayed she’d be able to ask all the questions I’d never think to ask. Then I chastised myself for relying on my twelve-year-old.
My fingers arranged the flowers just so, giving myself a few moments to calm my racing heart. If only it were racing out of anticipation and not panic.
I turned, giving Zero and Frankie a bright smile, and my daughter closed her eyes and shook her head.
“Ready?” I asked, grabbing my purse.
Zero either hadn’t noticed my trepidation, or he was a really great actor. Neither really garnered any confidence in how the evening would turn out.
To his credit, he opened Frankie’s door for her, standing in front of mine, ensuring I wouldn’t open it myself, and I appreciated the gentlemanly gesture. Richard never opened a door for me. Clay never let me go anywhere I needed a door opening.
Then I wondered if he who shall not be named would open a door for me.
Zero closed the door after I climbed in, and I silently reminded myself to stop comparing him to every other man I had ever met. He seemed like a nice guy, and I owed him a fair shot.
I’d said yes, after all.
Out of duress from shock.
Still, I said yes and didn’t make any effort to cancel, so Zero deserved a shot. Who knew, maybe he would turn out to be Mr. Perfect. As soon as the thought entered my mind, it flew right back out.
After backing out of the driveway, Zero talked to Frankie as much as he talked to me.
He asked her about school and if she’d made any friends yet.
She talked about Cami, ignoring the fact that she wasn’t in school.
Then, he asked how I was settling in and if I’d thought about whether I wanted a job or not.
I wanted to be angry about the questions he asked. I wanted to see him as an asshole who judged me for not working, but Zero knew where we came from. The entire club knew.
And if I were being honest, a job was something I should start thinking about.
I couldn’t stay home working in my garden forever.
Slyce had set us up here, and King refused to charge us rent.
So aside from utilities, which the Nyght Nymphs were still covering, and food, which Slyce had also set up an account for, there hadn’t been a reason for me to think about getting a job.
Until Zero brought it up.
Now I felt like a freeloader. What was I teaching my daughter? I had failed as a mother so many times, and I was still doing it now. I was so lost in my pity party I hadn’t realized we’d driven right past the diner until Zero pulled into the lot of a steakhouse.
Grilled to Perfection.
I smiled at the name as I opened my door. Zero frowned when he stepped out, and I realized what I’d done.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” He smiled, but I could tell it wasn’t okay. Who would have thought opening your own door would be a reason to frown?
He fell into step beside me, Frankie in front, and when the door opened, my stomach growled loudly. Frankie laughed, and it brought a smile to Zero's face.
“Mom’s a complete carnivore.”
“Nothing wrong with that,” Zero said with a smile. “This place makes the best ribeye I’ve had.”
My stomach growled a protest, jealous that my nose was getting all the attention. The restaurant smelled of butter and garlic, and suddenly, all my nerves about this being a first date disappeared in anticipation of the food I was about to consume.
The hostess showed us to our table, where Zero held out our chairs until we sat down. This place seemed fancy, at least for the Midwest; though when I opened the menu, the prices appeared reasonable.
Frankie asked a few questions about menu items, and Zero ordered a few appetizers for us to share. We chatted about superficial things while we waited for the food to arrive, and I wondered what Zero was thinking.
Did he think it was going well?
Did he think I was being rude?
He asked me questions, and I answered the best I could, but my answers tended to come out short, and then Frankie would expand on them.
Something was definitely wrong with me; I couldn’t stop thinking about Derek. There, I said his freaking name and it had me wondering if I said it two more times, would it conjure him up out of thin air like Beetlejuice?
Derek, Derek.
I glanced around the restaurant, looking in every corner, but he wasn’t there. Hmm, maybe it only worked if you said it fast and together without any pauses between the words.
“Mom,” Frankie said, placing her hand on mine.
“What?” I asked, glancing up and finding her and Zero staring at me. I looked over my shoulder quickly and then back. “Do I have food on my face or something?” I asked, wiping at my lips.
“Zero asked you about work. What you thought you might like to do.”
My shoulders relaxed; my biggest fear was that I was muttering Derek’s name out loud. That would have been really bad form for a date. Even if this was supposed to be a non-date.
“Oh, I haven’t really given it much thought to be honest. I’ve been kind of just taking it day by day.”
“What did you do before you moved to the clubhouse?” Zero asked.
“Mostly anything that would pay in cash,” I replied with a shrug.
Frankie was old enough to remember what life was like when we moved around. And she was old enough to remember moving to the clubhouse, so it wasn’t like I could hide that from her.
“What about when you were married?”
“I was home with Frankie. My ex-husband worked to support us so I could stay home.”
I smiled at Zero and then turned my head and froze. Apparently, you didn’t need to say someone’s name without spaces or words or thoughts between them; you just needed to say it four times instead of three.
Because there he was, with Jack and Sam and their kids. He carried Charlie on his hip, and I couldn’t help but think how freaking sexy he looked carrying a child. His eyes swept from me to Zero to Frankie.
Then they returned to me, and the anger I saw in them burned me to my soul. Jack and Sam stopped to say hello; however, Derek kept on walking. He placed a hand on the stroller Sam pushed, holding her twins, and mumbled, “I’ll see you at the table.”
I glanced at Frankie and saw her eyes well up when Derek passed by without a hello, and I remembered instantly why I hated him.