Chapter Nine
Derek
“Uncle Derek!”
Charlie ran at me full force, causing me to brace my feet to prevent falling on my ass. Her reaction when I walked in the door was always the same and great for my fucking ego. My hands reached out to catch her; the momentum throwing her into the air.
She was strong for a five-year-old.
“Where’s the fire, Cupcake?”
She scrunched her little brows together and said, “There’s no fire.”
Sam chuckled from the other side of the room, knowing I’d have to spend the next five minutes explaining the saying.
“Why are you so excited?” I asked her, settling her on my hip.
“Daddy said we can go out to dinner.”
“He did? Where are you going?”
“You are coming too,” Charlie insisted.
“I am?” I asked, looking over at Sam. She had a small smirk on her face that immediately made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. She was planning something.
I sat Charlie on the counter and asked, “What’s the occasion?”
Sam shrugged. “Rough day with the girls, so I told Jack I was too tired to cook.”
My eyes narrowed as I studied her. I’d known Sam since she was seventeen years old. I knew her tells. I knew when she was scheming.
“I had a long day at work, so I think I’ll stay home.”
“That’s up to you,” she replied, and then Charlie piped up, “Uncle Derek, you have to come.”
“Why is that, Cupcake?”
Her little tongue peeked out the side of her mouth, as it always did when she was thinking. Her father saved her when Jack stepped into the room and said, “Because we’re all going out as a family.”
“I really don’t feel like going out, Jack.”
“Too fucking bad.” He pulled Sam into his arms and whispered something in her ear before kissing her soundly. It had taken time for me not to feel awkward when they did that shit in front of me.
Every time I saw them touch, I remembered that I had touched her first. I had loved her first. But she never should have been mine. I used her to fill a void in my life she never could have filled.
Now I could watch them show each other affection, and the only feeling I had was jealousy. Not because I still wanted Sam. But because I wanted what they had together.
And I wanted it with someone else. A fierce woman with caramel-colored hair, and the daughter we shared.
I wanted a family of my own.
“Please, Uncle Derek.” Charlie dragged out the word please, knowing I would give in.
“Fine,” I relented. “Let me wash up.”
I set Charlie on the floor and laughed as she jumped up and down, doing a little dance. The same dance she did whenever she got her way. My eyes caught Sam’s and the smile on her face was so fucking beautiful.
“I’m not doing this for you,” I said.
My words only made her smile brighter and chuckle when she said, “I know.”
“Your wife is up to something,” I said to Jack.
He scrunched his eyebrows the same way Charlie did and looked between Sam and me. “What are you talking about?”
I shook my head. “You have a lot to learn about your wife, little brother.”
Despite my fear of what Sam was concocting, I smiled as I took the steps two at a time and jumped in the shower. Dinner with my family was something Jack insisted on most nights. Unless the club needed him, he made sure he was home when I got done for the day so we could all eat together and talk.
It was something neither of us had growing up. My mother fed me before my father got home, then tucked me into bed before he started drinking. Not that it mattered; if he got angry enough, he’d just drag me out so he could pin whatever pissed him off on me.
Jack grew up in a series of foster homes and group homes. He’d told me the first time he sat down for a family dinner was after he joined the club. And even that wasn’t quite the same as what Sam provided.
When Sam and I were married, we didn’t often eat at the table. We either went out, or we ate on the couch. Family dinners didn’t quite hit the same way when your family only consisted of two people.
I hit the bottom of the stairs and found Sam and Jack whispering in the foyer. That niggling sensation came back with a vengeance when Sam saw me and closed her mouth.
“Are we ready to go?” she asked, picking up one of the twin’s infant seats.
“I am!” Charlie shouted, startling Josie, or maybe it was Rosie.
I had a hard time telling the two little girls apart.
Truth be told, Jack and even Sam struggled with it at times.
Charlie seemed to be the only one to get it right each time without looking for the small birthmark Josie had on the back of her knee.
“Charlie, want to ride with me?” I asked, and my niece squealed. She ran across the yard to my truck, hopping up and down impatiently as I followed.
I had her buckled up in no time, only to remember I didn’t know where we were going. Jack motioned for me to follow him, and the way he was being secretive had me wondering if he was in on whatever Sam had concocted.
Once we were on the road, I looked at Charlie in the rearview mirror. “What’s your mama scheming about, Cupcake?”
She smiled brightly and then used her fingers to twist an invisible lock on her lips before tossing the invisible key out the window. The older she got, the harder it would be to trick her into giving away information. She was so fucking smart, and I knew she got that from her mother.
Jack and I had too much of our father to make us worth a damn. Jack was a notch higher than me because he hadn’t lived with the son of a bitch. He hadn’t endured the constant abuse for years on end.
Jack would never hit Sam. He didn’t have the same trauma I did, according to Haizley. In one of our sessions, Jack assured me he’d grown up with his own demons. They were just different from mine.
We pulled into the steakhouse, and I smiled. This was one of my favorite places, but it was usually packed out on the weekends. We’d probably be waiting in the foyer for an hour or more before they seated us.
Unbuckling Charlie, I pulled her out of the truck and settled her on my hip. I knew the place would be busy, and I didn’t want her getting lost in the crowd.
Seeing the concern on my face, Sam assured me she’d made a reservation and we wouldn’t have to wait. Jack unfolded the stroller and snapped both baby seats into place.
Charlie and I followed behind her parents, talking quietly. I asked her what she wanted for dinner, and she was more interested in what they had for dessert. I looked up so I could see where we were going, and that was when I saw Kat.
Sitting at a table with my daughter and fucking Zero.
Jack and Sam stopped to say hello, and I pushed past them, grabbing the stroller.
“I’ll see you at the table.”
I kept my eyes off my daughter. Not wanting her to see the anger on my face.
Also, afraid to see how she interacted with Zero.
I’d seen Kat smile at him right before she noticed us walking in their direction.
A smile that should have been fucking mine.
My arm tightened around Charlie, and she squeaked, letting me know to loosen my hold.
I positioned myself so that I could see their table. It was a mistake; I should have sat with my back to them. If I had, I wouldn’t have seen Kat stand up and walk toward the restroom as soon as Jack and Sam continued this way.
“I’m sorry, brother. I didn’t know Zero would be here with Kat.”
I shrugged. “Why would I care? I barely know the woman.”
Sam stared at me. She opened her mouth as if to say something, and Jack took hold of her wrist. Sam had been trying since I moved here to fix me up with someone. She’d focused her sights on Kat from the moment she showed up in town.
“Excuse me. I’ll be right back.”
I kissed Charlie on the top of her head and made my way to the restroom. My hands clenched into fists, and I heard Haizley’s voice in my head.
“It’s okay to be angry. Anger is an emotion, and emotions aren’t bad.
It’s okay to yell. Raising your voice doesn’t make you a bad person.
It means you’re feeling overwhelmed and those emotions aren’t being regulated.
And that, we can work on. You can learn how to overcome that; you have come so far already. ”
I shook out my hands, trying to push the anger out. I wasn’t even sure who I was fucking pissed at. Kat, or fucking Zero. All I knew was that when I caught her smiling at him, I saw fucking red.
The hallway to the restrooms was empty, and I stood there for a few minutes in front of the door to the women’s room. My breaths came in pants; my heart was racing. Then I shoved the door open and found her standing in front of the mirror.
She didn’t turn around; she just stood there, glaring at my reflection.
“You shouldn’t be in here.”
“Are you on a fucking date?”
Her eyes narrowed at me in the mirror, and she spun around. “How is that any of your business?”
“Answer the fucking question, Kat.”
“No,” she answered, but was it the answer I wanted? Or was it a refusal to answer at all?
“I don’t want that asshole around... Frankie,” I said, catching myself before saying my daughter.
“You don’t get a say. Frankie is my child, and if I want to have dinner with someone who is willing to spend time with my child, then I will do whatever the fuck I want.”
“Kat,” I warned, taking a step further.
The red haze had dissipated into something far more dangerous. She stood in front of me, arms crossed over her chest. Her words were a challenge thrown in my face for rejecting Frankie’s invitation to lunch. She had no fucking idea how much my heart broke to have to do that shit.
“Not him.”
“Funny, he said the same thing about you.”
The red haze was creeping back in as rage twisted in my chest, making it hard to breathe. I wanted to walk back out into the restaurant and beat the shit out of him.
“I don’t want him around Frankie.” My voice came out rougher than I intended. Something flashed in her eyes—not just rejection, but heat, conflict, a war she was fighting with herself. I took another step closer to her, close enough that we were standing toe to toe. “I don’t want him around you.”
Her breath caught audibly; her lips parted as she stared up at me.
Her pupils dilated and her pulse hammered at the base of her throat, in the delicate spot I wanted to press my mouth against. She was so fucking gorgeous, and all I could think about was wrapping my hand around the back of her neck, feeling her skin against my palm, pulling her close enough to taste her, to claim her mouth until she forgot anyone else existed.
“We aren’t your concern,” she whispered, but her voice trembled and her eyes dropped to my lips, lingering there. Her chest rose and fell rapidly, and I could feel the heat of her body just inches from mine. Every instinct screamed at me to close the distance
Fuck restraint.
My hand shot to the back of her head, fingers threading roughly through her hair to cradle her skull as I pinned her against the wall with the full weight of my body.
I crushed my mouth to hers.
The kiss was everything—raw, desperate, claiming. The taste of her flooded my senses, better than anything I’d imagined. My other hand braced against the wall beside her head as I deepened the kiss, taking everything she gave me and demanding more.
Her body melted against mine, her nails dug into my chest through the fabric, and she arched into me as if she’d been waiting for this as long as I had.
When I finally pulled back, I looked at her. Her lips were swollen from my mouth, her eyes dark and dazed.
I wanted to stay. To kiss her again. To hold her and never let go.
Instead, I stepped back.
Let my hand fall from her hair.
Then I turned and walked out without a word.