Chapter 3 #3
“I guess that she's just not a good woman, just like su Mai. Nada bueno.”* Blanca adds her venom before shooting a glare my way—one I return with a slow grin, hoping that she can see the distaste in my face, even though I know it will accomplish nothing. Women like her thrive on drama and talking shit. Still, I hate the way they talk about her. Spreading venomous lies that will soon land on those precious ears. Maybe it’s a trigger.
The constant whispers when all it went down was agonizing.
Having to pretend that I didn’t care and fight the urge to break down every time someone would simply say her name.
Now she’s back and my snake ass heart is here racing inside my chest, pretending she didn’t break it.
I chew on the inside of my cheeks, trying not to lift my gaze when I hear the sound of her angelic rasp cut through the noise. It’s useless, my eyes zero in on her before I have a chance to blink. There she is.
Across the street, standing outside her family’s store.
Wearing jean shorts and a white flowy top that is loose on her middle but tight where it matters.
My lips curl into a sideways grin when she grabs the hose, and this time when she aims, she’s actually watering the plants.
The sight brings me back to the day we met.
The day I learned what it felt to feel the warmth of the sun.
Not the kind that hits your skin, but the kind that burns through the dark cloud that follows you…
the kind that burns your soul. Which is why I nicknamed her mi Ciela, because she’s my sky and I’m the clouds that dust it.
For so long I wished I would have taken a different way…
Ignored her, but how can you ignore the light?
When you've been in the dark for so long? If I hadn’t stepped into her water zone, I wouldn’t be as fucked as I am.
She would have been with Lenny instead of me and maybe, by now, I would have moved back to PR.
I guess I will never know, because I did indeed step into her water zone, and she was mine before she was his.
And that’s how my world turned upside down.
My heart flutters, creating its own rhythm.
One that is uniquely hers, the butterflies come to life the more I drink her in, making me jittery, my knees bouncing beneath the table as I track every minuscule movement.
The afternoon sunlight catches in her curls.
Those loose waves I would spend time twirling around my finger, while enjoying the smell of shea butter with mango that came from her hair products.
Or the way it felt under the pads of my fingers as I traced the pattern of the curl.
She looks completely in her element, relaxed—almost looking peaceful.
Just like the day I met her. She used to think it was a coincidence, but I never left anything up to fate.
Especially when it’s something that I want.
I noticed her the moment I stepped into Altura, the issue was that she was too busy watching Lenny.
Then, one day, I heard her sing and that’s all it took.
It didn’t matter that my Abuela told me to stay away.
I simply couldn’t.
You know, I sacrificed a good pair of sneakers for only a chance to talk to her.
As a sneakerhead, that was a wild thing to do.
All worth it in the end, that—I will never regret.
No matter how much it hurts, how much I question my own sanity…
My love is the one thing I will never take back.
Meeting her made me want to be better. To picture a future that didn’t put me behind bars or in a coffin.
Once again, my chest tightens and my pulse starts to stumble, and for a second, the whole block goes quiet. Or maybe I’m just making shit up.
Deja vu hits me so hard I forget to breathe. Thankfully, Manny slaps a ficha on the table, forcing me to inhale.
“Earth to Yael. Are you playing or are you staring?”
I don’t answer. Because before I can turn away, she looks up. And this time… she sees me.
The connection snaps instantly, like a live wire feeding me with everything that is Adriana Santos.
An instant download streaming straight to all the parts I try to push away.
I look down at the domino table, forcing myself to look away, to stand down, fighting the urge to storm across the street and ask the question that has plagued my mind.
Maybe then I could move on. Maybe then I could let her go.
The boys must have felt the shift in the air; no one says shit, but I can feel the heat of their stares.
Everyone knows. And I hate that even more.
* mama bicho - dick sucker/cocksucker
* fichas - cards/tokens/chips
* Ah… ya veo. - Ah, I see.
* Oye a este - Hear this guy.
* Loco - crazy
* Te pasate, man - You took it too far, man.
* Caliente y con sazón, chula. - Hot and seasoned, babe.
* Diablo, loco - Crazy devil
* viejas chismosas - old gossiping women
* dios mio, este muchacho - My god, this guy.
* Chisme - gossip
* Mirala - Look at her
* Esa misma. - The very same.
* Su Mai. Nada bueno. - Like her mother, nothing good.