Chapter 4
Yael
It’s like she never left….
Once again, I find myself circling in her orbit, consumed by the endless thought of her. It's become a routine—standing in this very spot with my eyes glued to the store front across the street. She’s been back on the block for three days, and I swear, the bodega already looks different.
Fuck, I’m different.
The nonchalance and arrogance I use to walk with simply peels away, and once again, I’m all exposed and shit.
I don’t like it. But, I can’t help but stop and admire the way she just breathes life into things.
Even though she’s overwatering the fuck out of those plants, somehow they just glow.
A chuckle rumbles from my lips. Despite the flooded soil, they’re starting to flourish.
No longer looking dehydrated and dull. The plants look alive.
The windows are cleaner, which gives me a clear line of sight.
It’s exactly the kind of touch only Adri brings.
I feel like a pendejo*, for feeling this way.
For noticing even the most minuscule things and, worst of all, how much I still care.
I’m a mess. Uncertainty has me in a chokehold.
One part of me wants to walk into that bodega and seek her out.
The other wants to hide away where her light can’t touch me.
Adri’s hips sway from side to side as she dances to the beat of whatever she’s listening to.
It’s nice to see that her love for music hasn’t changed.
I scoff softly, trying to look away when Ruben steps outside, catching her attention.
They talk by the door, her hand waves around the air, in her very usual animated way when she’s focused on a task.
The corner of my mouth lifts into a smirk, happy that I can still make out the colors of my sky.
Mi Ciela. Adriana motions to the shelves around the store in one wide swoop of her arm.
Hip popping out to the side, already barking out orders, because of course she is.
Adriana has always had a mouth on her. It's the very thing that made me want more.
And the very thing I hated to see go away after she got with Lenny.
Fuck… her silence killed me.
I rub the spot. The tightness in my chest returns like it always does when I think about my cousin.
I try to push the emotions, focusing only on the negative ones.
The one that reminds me she abandoned me—betrayed me—when I needed her the most. Did she know about his plans?
Did she know that soon this neighborhood would be turned into a money pit, displacing hundreds of residents if that slimebag gets all the votes he needs.
Slowly, I feel the pressure ease, dissipating the tension in my muscles, and the curl of my lip drops.
It doesn’t matter anymore, she made her choice and I’ve made my peace with it.
Alex curses in Spanish, something about me not doing shit again. “Are you planning on working today?”
I ignore it.
I’m working, busy studying her game plan—after all, our bodegas are rivals.
I need to know what I’m going up against. We still need to make money.
I didn’t like losing customers to Ruben, and her being here won’t change that.
I take pride in the work we do here. After she left, I put my all into this bodega.
Brought it back to life, even hustled on the side to make money to fill out the shelves.
Taking me a year before we saw any real profit.
Alex groans, dropping boxes beside me before stacking them.
“You gonna stare all day, or you gonna help?”
“I am helping,” I mutter under my breath, not bothering to look his way. My eyes tracking her every move. “I’m supervising.”
He snorts. “Supervising her or your feelings?” Alex smacks his lips, annoyance bleeding into his tone. “I thought you were done with her the moment she got with Lenny? What now, y’all just gonna swap spit again?”
This time, I look back to glare at him. Alex flares his nose, running a hand through his braided hair, trying his best to soothe an itch without fucking up the braid. His brown eyes narrowed into thin slits.
My hands clench tightly, as I contemplate punching him square in the jaw.
I don’t. Because I get it. He’s annoyed that I’m not helping, or maybe it’s the fact that he’s always pushed me to move on.
Alex has been with me through it all. Helping me through the drunk nights.
Listening to me without judgement. And now she’s back and it’s like she never left.
My mouth opens to speak when the front door opens and, of course, like every morning, las chimosas del barrio* steps into the store.
Blanca is the first to spot me. Her gaze follows what I was looking at, then she shakes her head.
“A picture might last you longer,” she says in perfect English, already noticing what I’ve been eyeing. I don’t bother to respond; nothing I can say will make that woman like me. Plus, that lady is not my mother and I don’t have to explain myself to her.
That woman judged me from the moment I stepped into Altura.
And it became clearer by the time I started to mess around with her daughter.
She thinks I’m a good for nothing thug and Estrella needs to stay away from me.
Too bad Estrella likes visiting the candy shop more than she likes the idea of giving me up.
If anything, her mother's disapproval makes it worse. Estrella is a big girl—who cares that she likes bouncing on this dick? She wants it, and when I'm lit enough—and she’s not talking—I can picture her being someone else entirely. She’s fuckable and I’m unlikable, the perfect duo.
“Did you see that Adri has been hanging around the front?” Gracie asks as she comes from behind Blanca, already grabbing her buttered roll and malta.
My jaw tightens, and Alex continues to stack his boxes, ignoring the chatter, before walking behind the counter and working on Blanca's order. Jamón y queso en pan sobao*. Her usual.
I start to walk away when the door opens again, and the smell of summer air and cherries fills the space.
A scent I know too well. Estrella huffs out a breath.
Knowing her, I’m sure she’s already spotted Adriana.
And knowing their history, she’s probably not happy, and given the way she’s stomping forward, pretty much confirms it.
“You see that girl, breaks up with Lenny, and now she’s taking Ruben's spot in the store.”
Irritation scratches at the surface. There she goes making up shit she has no idea about. My jaw locks, fighting the urge to tell her off. But I know better than to get into chisme.
“Asi son las mujeres malas,”* Blanca adds, opening one of the fridges and pulling out a passion fruit juice.
I press my lips together, frowning at how they talk about Adriana, feeling the urge to protect her crawling its way out.
Seeking to dish out a piece of my mind, I open my mouth to rebut their words, but think better of it.
It’s obvious that the Adri I fell in love with wasn’t the same person who left or the same person who returned.
Still, the tightness in my chest has me rubbing at the spot.
Ignoring their chatter, I move between the aisles to start unpacking the inventory boxes. When Estrella saunters towards me, I turn to look at her, and even though it doesn’t reach her eyes, she smiles. Her arms folding in front of her, making her tits poke from the top of her black top.
“Morning, papi,” she purrs and brushes her finger over my arm. I almost flinch from the contact, and she notices. “Am I seeing you tonight?” Estrella asks in her baby voice, adding, “It’s Friday,” with a slight pout.
I hate when she acts clingy, and with Adri returning, I have a feeling it’s gonna be ten times worse. I should probably get used to the idea or cut her loose. I don’t want the headache.
“Not tonight.” I shrug off her touch and bend down to unpack the first box. “Busy.”
Looking up at her, I watch as her big doe eyes narrow into small slits. “Since when?”
Since Adri stepped back onto this block and ripped open every wound I thought I’d buried, I want to reply, even though I don’t. Instead, I give her a sad excuse. “Cuz I’ll be chilling with the guys.”
“So?” Estrella rolls her eyes. “You can still come by.”
I suck in a breath, already seeing where she’s going with all of this. “Listen, with the tournament coming up, I have to focus.”
“Focus,” she parrots. “Yael, since when?” Estrella's eyes go wide, a scoff escaping her lips. Her gaze moves to the window that directly shows Adriana sweeping the sidewalk, and her expression shifts. “Still, Yael? Really?”
“Don’t start,” I warn.
She looks like she’s about to burst into a fit of rage, her face reddening as she holds back the urge to fight for a man she has no business claiming.
To fight for the spot I’ve never given her.
And just when I think the dam is about to explode, Estrella composes herself, her words low and calm with a hint of sarcasm.
“I’m not starting anything,” she says, even though she absolutely is. “Just asking a question. You seem real busy for a man who likes to fuck after spending all night drinking Henny. It's really funny that you look really awake right now for someone who has been asleep for five years.”
My brows furrow together, and I shoot a glance her way. “What does that even mean?”
“I don’t know, papi,” she teases. “Maybe it’s for me to know and for you,” Estrella points an accusatory finger my way, “to figure out.”
With that, in typical Estrella fashion, she leaves with a huff and storms outside with me right on her heels.
There’s no way I’m about to sit and watch the girl I occasionally fuck make a fool out of herself while also hurting the one person I cannot bring myself to stop loving.
My hand hooks around her elbow, pulling Estrella towards me before she can cross the street.