Chapter 8
Yael
Five Summers Ago…
Neno’s lips were moving but I wasn’t listening.
All my attention is on Adri as she strides toward Lenny.
The music—and whatever he’s saying—is nothing but background noise over the sound of my heart breaking.
There’s nothing like coming out of juvie and watching the girl you love wrap her arms around your cousin.
The sting flares and jealousy lingers, knowing he can give her something I can’t.
A life free of the hood, free of blood because it didn’t matter if you bang or not, the blood always smears.
It didn’t matter if you’re innocent or guilty, the streets don’t care.
Neno smacks the back of my head. “You listening?”
“Nah,” I answer truthfully, because he’s already aware that I'm not. There's no point in denying it and I’m not a liar. I always say, if you lie about the little things, you’ll lie about the bigger things.
You can be the poorest man, but at least be a man of your word.
I’m all of that but fall short when it comes to wanting something better for myself.
This is all I know—hustling—what my grandmother and mom drilled into me.
Too bad being a good man doesn’t put money on the table when you’re drowning in debt.
“Where your head's at, Chulo?”
With your sister, I want to reply but I stay quiet.
That’s the rule of Los Cojuelos—you need permission to date within the Familia.
Neno made it clear that was never going to happen to him.
He wants Adri out of this life, out of Altura, which gets darker by the day.
Hell, he even wants me out of it. Especially now, knowing that I’m in love with his baby sister.
It’s been two summers since I came to Altura, and just when I wanted to turn my life around, grandma got sick.
The bills kept piling up, and I had no choice but to hustle.
The bodega wasn’t bringing in real profit, and with the rivalry, it made things even worse. I did what I had to do, and unfortunately, it set me back and I lost the one thing I wanted to keep.
Adriana.
But that changes this summer. I’ll win her back, even if my cousin hates me for it. She was mine long before she was his—I just need to remind her.
“Diablo, Yael. What’s gotten into you, brother?” Neno fusses, snapping my focus back to him, his eyes darker than his sister’s, a green that reminds me of swamp waters swirling in a darkness that hasn’t touched my Adri.
I force a smile and coyly respond, “Nothing, bro, just tired and hungry.”
He laughs, a throaty deep rumble as he pulls me away. “Of course you are. Ven vamos a comer.* Let’s go eat.”
But I wasn’t hungry.
On the contrary, I couldn’t stomach anything.
I could barely breathe, let alone eat. I follow Neno toward the back with the rest of the guys, but my mind stays behind.
I want to look back—to see her pressed up against Lenny and torture myself with what could have been.
We should’ve been the end game, but I gave him an opening, and he rammed his way through the door, leaving me out in the cold.
“You need to get laid—some good weed, some good pussy and to call it night.” Neno laughs, slapping my shoulder, as he opens the lid to the small grill. His mother gives me a wink with a crooked smile.
“Do you want carne or hamburger?” she asks.
I shrug, looking at the variety of pieces of meat, flank steak, pork chops, longaniza, and chicken. And even though my stomach protests in hunger, I make an excuse to not eat. No reason to waste good food.
“It’s good to see you out, mijo.” Ms. Jenny rubs my forearm and gives it a gentle squeeze.
“Thank you, it's good to be back,” I reply before bending down and grabbing another beer from the small cooler sitting on the ground.
“You better stay out of trouble.” She pretends to scold me like she does with Neno, even though we know it’s bullshit—that’s her golden boy.
Neno could do no wrong in his mother’s eyes.
With one hand on her waist and her index finger pointing my way, she reminds me so much of her, just older, but beautiful like her daughter.
“I plan to,” I reply with a smile as I use my lighter to open the beer bottle.
“Ma, go see if the people need more drinks, give us some space.” It wasn’t a suggestion, it was a direct order from her first born. Ms. Jenny smiles, opening her mouth to argue, but closes it when she sees the look on Neno's face.
Serious.
Lethal.
Shocking even me.
I don’t know how she didn’t see it—that she’s losing her first born to the streets.
Without another word, Ms. Jenny walks away.
My heart sinks to the pit of my stomach, when over the music, I hear my Ciela’s laughter as she dances bachata with Lenny.
He spins her, and when she stops… for a moment, our eyes connect.
The smell of grilled meat turns cloying, heavy enough to make my stomach twist. Or maybe it’s the way he clings to her like he owns her.
I blink before forcing myself to look away, breaking the magic.
Taking another long chug of the beer, my eyes drift back to Adriana sitting on the small concrete stage we built for her.
Soon enough, Paulina Rubio or Selena will play, and excitement sparks through me.
I love hearing her sing—especially when it’s for me.
Neno snaps his fingers, pulling me from the trance, just as “I Could Fall In Love,” by Selena begins to play in the background.
The sound of my Ciela’s voice filters through the night, steadying my pulse.
The world blurs, and all I see is her moving around the stage like she was born for it.
A tug pulls at the corner of my lips, how I wish it were only me watching this star shine so bright.
But instead, I’m forced to listen to the plans to rob the new chain gas stations opening around Altura.
The beat slows, signaling the end of the song.
Finally, Neno shuts up, just as his favorite part comes on, and his focus turns to his sister—now I don’t have to pretend.
I can indulge.
I can look at my pretty girl and picture it’s just us two. No one else, just her and I. Finishing my beer, I toss the empty container into the trash and grab another one.
“You need a ride tomorrow?” Joel asks Neno, who nods. Just as I’m about to ask what that's about, my gaze lands on Adriana sneaking through the crowd toward the small laundromat tucked between the bodega and the seafood place. Some things never change—hiding to smoke.
I glance over my shoulder, seeing Neno and Joel carrying on about whatever business they got going, and I take my chance to follow her with a cheesy smile. From the shadows, I trail her like I've always done.
* Ven vamos a comer. - Come on, let’s go eat.