Chapter 10 #3
And he was doing it, kissing her breasts, kneading them to make her moan with pleasure, looking into her eyes, pausing each time her body tensed. He whispered to her that she was beautiful, brave, and brilliant.
Arden rested his forehead on hers just before possessing her.
‘You are going to be mine now.’
‘I know.’
‘It may hurt.’
The warning made her swallow. The shadow of fear returned, but it was not alone. The desire went on roaring in her depths, manifested in the wetness of her femininity. And, above all, over her was the man who was treating her with an incredible devotion.
‘I trust you,’ she said.
Arden closed his eyes in pain.
‘You do not know what you do to me when you say things like that.’
‘Then show me.’
He spoke no more.
He conquered her. He joined his body to hers calmly, little by little. She shivered when he broke the barrier of her virginity.
‘Are you all right?’
‘Yes. I think so. Go on,’ she encouraged him, for she was sure there was more.
And he obeyed her. He began to rock his hips, and she rose to meet him.
He loved her with a patience that at times seemed to overcome him, and a care that never quite slipped away.
Eveline felt the weight of his body, the heat of her own skin, the way something began to burn differently at the very center of her soul…
‘Nathaniel… I cannot… I think…’
‘I know. Do not force it, I will help you. ’
The earl brought his hand to where their bodies joined and helped her reach the height of ecstasy with skill and patience.
‘Goddd…’ she began to cry out, but he silenced her mouth and swallowed her pleasure so that no one could hear the sound.
The earl went on kissing her, and that intimacy, so blissful and so long awaited, fulfilled its purpose. Nathaniel lost himself in her and let his seed flood her.
They remained together a long time. Or perhaps it was only a few minutes. What they both knew was that it was glorious to be together in a bed.
Arden covered her with the sheet before embracing her, as though even after having made her his he needed to protect her from the air. Eveline rested her cheek on his chest and listened to the strong beating of his heart.
The lady did not know what to say, but they ought to say something to each other, ought they not?
Perhaps speak of love? Of the future? She wanted to ask him what would become of them after sharing their bodies and making their souls melt together.
She wished for him to confess his eternal love to her.
It was for him to do it, since she had taken the first step in seducing him, was it not?
She would never know where she had got such audacity to tempt him so brazenly.
Yes. He, at that moment, would tell her he was madly in love with her.
Eveline waited. She counted to ten. Then twenty more. Several minutes passed and he did not seem disposed to speak. She gathered her courage then:
‘Nathaniel…’
‘Sleep,’ he murmured.
‘But—’
‘You need to rest, and I certainly need it more. You have left me without strength, Eveline. My undoing and my ruin, that is what you are.’
She was left with her mouth slightly open. No. That bore no resemblance at all to the great confession she had expected to hear. And she could say nothing more, because then she heard him begin to snore.
The next day. She told herself that the next day he would declare that he loved her and then would ask her to marry him.
It was necessary to be patient with a man who had shown he could be patient with her.
Yes. She would not grow impatient. She was convinced the Earl of Arden would do things right this time.
Nothing was going to go wrong now. So Eveline fell asleep with a smile on her lips. Yet the joy did not last long.
When she woke, the room was filled with a grey, quiet light.
She was alone.
Alone.
For a few seconds she did not move. She looked at the empty side of the bed, the barely dented pillow, the chair where her dressing gown had been left badly placed the night before, and thought that perhaps she had dreamed it.
Had Nathaniel made love to her in dreams?
She closed her eyes and concentrated on remembering.
She saw the tree, the window through which Nathaniel had entered, and his hands travelling over her whole body while his mouth adored her.
Could all of that have been nothing more than a fantasy born of too many days of desire and anguish?
But then she sat up a little and felt a sweet soreness.
A new sensitivity in places that made her close her eyes again.
The memory was not slow to come; vivid and with a clarity that made her blush.
It had happened. Nathaniel had been there.
He had kissed her, caressed her, and tasted her.
In short, he had made her his lover before being his wife…
And he had left before dawn.
Eveline remained seated among the sheets, her hair tangled over her shoulders and a bitter pressure around her heart.
She could not blame him for leaving. It would have been madness to stay until the house awoke. Oliver would have killed him and Alice would have had to hide the body, but his absence troubled her in a way that had nothing to do with what was proper.
And that was when she remembered again that Nathaniel had not told her he loved her before leaving her bed.
They desired each other. That was more than clear. They had shared passion enough to make her tremble still at the memory. Ah. The earl had not given her his heart along with his body.
And that, Eveline thought with a sadness that moistened her eyes, she could have had with Tentwall as well.
Not in the same way. Never in the same way, for Cedric would not have given her the security Nathaniel had made her feel, or the patience, or, for that matter, that sense of being attended and protected even in the midst of passion.
The viscount was a selfish being. But a vulnerable part of her knew that a man’s desire was not enough to obtain happiness.
Lust could be satisfying, could feel like a truth during the night and turn into a wound by dawn. She was discovering it at that moment.
With Arden she did not want crumbs. Least of all a reparation of honor. If she was going to marry him, she would do it because it was what she desired, not what she ought to do.
Nathaniel had managed to show her how much he desired her, but not how much he could love her.
With her earl, Eveline wanted everything.
Or nothing.
And, on looking again at the empty side of the bed, she understood that this choice could break her heart.
Was Arden capable of loving her without reserve?
Soon she would find out.