Kairus
“I knew from the moment you were born, you were a demon that needed to be purified,” my mom spat as she paced back and forth in front of me, ranting. I stood there with my hands clenched at my sides. The cut going across my left eye began to ache listening to her harsh words. I should have been used to it by now, I’ve dealt with this from her my whole life. It was rare that she was lucid and actually acted like a mother.
Stopping, my mom turned suddenly and sent a hateful glare in my direction. “Nothing to say for yourself?”
I stayed quiet, knowing it was pointless for me to say anything. I used to try and plead my case but it only made things worse. My body hardened, going into defensive mode. My blood swirled around my head and my heart pounded loudly.
“Stupid. Stupid,” she muttered and shook her head, going back to her pacing.
I swallowed hard and scanned the kitchen. My dad was gone doing whatever he did when he wasn’t terrorizing the house.
I watched as my mom sank deeper and deeper into her own mind, getting lost in the vile sense of reality her thoughts created. Since I was old enough to remember, my mom had always called me a demon seed, proclaiming her child was switched inside her. I’d hardly seen the lucid woman I was sure she was before she met my dad.
“Mom,” I called out, attempting to gain her attention. Even with everything she’d done to me over the years I wanted to see better for her. I knew how she behaved wasn’t her fault. My dad refused to get her help, no matter how clear it was she needed it.
She stood in front of the stove staring as if she was looking through me, as if she was in some kind of trance.
Wetting my lips, I slowly stepped closer to her. She watched me, unblinking.
Slowly, I lifted my hand to touch her.
“Die, demon!” she shrieked “Leave my son!” Before I realized what was happening, a burning sensation filled the left side of my body. It felt as if my skin was burning off. A loud shrill left my mouth. My mom’s rants continued as I fell to my knees…
“, !” My eyes snapped open and bounced around wildly until they landed on my hands wrapped around Azeira’s neck as she lay under me. I blinked a couple of times, allowing my eyes to focus. Fear and concern beamed in her orbs.
“,” she strained lowly. Her shaking hand lifted and touched my face. For a second the burns felt real, the pain I had experienced was like déjà vu.
My top lip curled up. My blood blazed and raced through my veins.
“Fuck!” I bellowed, releasing her. Cold sweat dripped from my forehead as my stomach recoiled. My breathing felt rushed and my chest was tight. I squeezed my eyes shut and took a few deep breaths to ease my racing heart.
It had been years since I had any nightmares like the one I had tonight. Years since I thought about that day or the weeks following that time.
“.” Azeira’s soft voice broke through the haze that now clouded my mind. I balled my hands on my lap.
“It’s okay, you didn’t mean it. Are you okay?”
My tongue was stuck in my throat.
Slowly lifting my head, I stared at Azeira as she now sat up, watching me with concern. She had turned the tableside lamp on. Her honey brown orbs bounced around my body. Not liking the sympathy I saw pass through her eyes, I tossed the covers off of me and stormed to the bathroom, slamming the door.
I gripped the sink so tightly my knuckles turned white. My shoulders fell forward in a tight hunch. I closed my eyes and attempted to steady my breath.
After a few seconds, I finally lifted my head and stared into the mirror. Since that night I despised mirrors, despised seeing the emptiness that now filled my eyes, the scars on my face that proved the monster accusations, and the child that begged and cried for his parents’ love and affection.
Pushing out a deep breath through my flared nostrils, I lifted my hand and sent it into the mirror, causing it to shatter. Blood dripped down my hands. Pieces of the mirror were now scattered around the sink.
Taking a couple more minutes to gather myself, I left the bathroom. Blood still dripped from my hand.
“What did you do?” Azeira asked shakily. Her eyes locked on my hands.
Ignoring her I went to the bed and sat on the edge with my legs gaped. I stared down at the ground. My heart was heavy and bleeding. The urge to wreak havoc filled me. My hand twitched to destroy more things. I wanted someone to bleed for me, someone to feel the same pain I felt that day.
“Looks like we both have something with smashing mirrors, huh?” Glanced down, I didn’t even notice Azeira was now kneeling between my legs and cleaning my hand. I thought back to the day she was locked in the basement.
“You mean when you tried to stab me?”
She flashed an innocent smile and batted her lashes. “Minor detail.” I watched her remove pieces of glass from my hand and wipe it clean with a towel. “Can you tell me what your dream was about?”
“What did I do?” I asked, ignoring the question.
She licked her lips and focused on my hand. “You were yelling and digging at your face. I tried to wake you and that’s when you grabbed me.”
My jaw clenched. I lifted my head, staring into space. “My mother had schizophrenia, along with I’m sure other shit that went undiagnosed. I’m not sure how it was treated before I was born, but once she got pregnant with me I assume it got worse. She always said I was a demon that was switched in her womb while she was pregnant. Growing up, most people thought it was my dad that was abusive, and while it was him too, my mom was more vicious. A lot of times she ignored and avoided me but when she noticed me she always said she needed to destroy the demon and used force to do it.
“When I was fourteen she attempted to carve the demon out of me and sliced my left eye. The doctors were worried I might lose sight in it.” Azeira gasped but I refused to look down at her, not wanting to see the empathy I knew was in her eyes. I balled the hand she wasn’t working on into a fist and rested it on my leg. “My dad brushed it off as me needing discipline. He refused to acknowledge that my mom needed help. Said if she was weak enough to succumb to a sickness then she deserved it. He had alienated her from her family so there was no one else to get her the treatment she needed.
“I was seventeen when she tried to kill me again. She was having a bad day, ranting about shit I couldn’t make out. I stood there listening, knowing if I tried to interrupt it would only get worse. Eventually I called out to her and touched her. She was in some kind of trance and touching her broke her out. She tossed a boiling pot of grease on me and proceeded to throw bleach or some shit on me to ‘purify me’. Weeks later she did the murder-suicide and I was finally free.”
I felt empty as I finished the story. Most people assumed my scars came from my dad. I never once corrected them, not wanting them to see my mom in that light. They figured her ending was because she got fed up with my dad’s abuse, not knowing she suffered from her own internal demons.
“So the library?” Her eyelids pooled with unshed tears.
“Was my mom’s. She used to go in there for hours, lost in her head, and read those books. It was the only place I believe gave her true comfort.” For a moment I didn’t speak. “If you want to use the room, so be it.”
For so long I kept the library closed off because it was the only place I ever saw my mom at peace and I didn’t want anyone to take that anyway. I kept telling myself I was gonna tear it down and make it something else but I could never bring myself to do it.
“,” Azeira called out to me in a wretched tone.
“Don’t feel sorry for me!” I gritted, snatching away from her. Sympathy was forming a weakness I didn’t need or want.
“I hate that happened to you. I hate that you didn’t have anyone to protect you growing up.”
Finally I lowered my attention to her. I studied her as she sat back on her haunches.
“Do you think I needed someone to protect me? Does it look like I’m a weak man?” I lifted my injured hand that she wrapped. I wasn’t even sure where she got the wrap, but I didn’t have time to question that now. My thumb brushed across the front of her chin, nipping her bottom lip.
“Needing protection doesn’t make you weak. You were a kid getting abused by both parents. Someone should have helped you.”
I chuckled and shook my head. “Foolish girl. No one was gonna go against my father. Plus it made me into the man I am today. A man that gets what he wants even if it’s by force. A man that’s known not to be fucked with. Who thrives off causing destruction.” A crude grin split my face.
Azeira licked her lips. Her tongue swiped the top of my thumb. My skin sizzled as if I had been zapped by electricity.
“Do you pity me, Beauty? Do you wish you were the one who could swoop in and save me?” I taunted. For a second her eyes narrowed and her breathing picked up. I moved my hand to her neck. This time when I cuffed it, it wasn’t in a threatening way. “You shouldn’t hold any empathy for me, Azeira. I’m not a good man.”
“But it’s not your fault,” she whispered. My nostrils flared. “I’m not scared of you, , not anymore.” My grip on her neck tightened. She turned her head as best as she could and kissed my wrist.
“You should be. Just because I haven’t hurt you lately doesn’t mean I won’t.” Again, she pressed her lips into my wrist.
“I know, but we both know you hurting me doesn’t frighten me anymore.” Fire flashed in her eyes. My stomach stirred with desire.
“Growing up I always felt invisible. Not because my parents didn’t love me or anything, but because nothing about me stood out. I always did what was expected of me. Elite was the first out of the box thing I did and I got a rush from it.” Ice crept inside my stomach and built thinking about her with other men. Thunder boomed inside my head.
“You enjoyed going out with other men?” I questioned lowly. My nerves rattled and prickled.
She swallowed hard and shook her head. Her eyes suddenly grew darker as her eyelids drooped. “No, it wasn’t the dates. It was the hotel meetings , with you . I never had sex with a man I didn’t know. I’d never been blindfolded, handcuffed, whipped, and harmed during sex. While I should have been terrified, I wasn’t. Instead I felt a high and rush I’d never experienced before. It was dark and twisted, but I loved the feeling it brought me. Like for the first time in my life I wasn’t following the rules and I was pushing boundaries.
“I felt like a crackhead in need of their next hit. I always grew excited when I got the notification that you requested me because I knew I would be getting my fix. So when I learned that you were the one I was in the hotel with, I lost the fear I held and that excitement returned. So you see…” Her words stilled. She pushed off her haunches. My hand remained around her neck. Becoming eye level with me, she pushed her lips into mine, kissing me in a chaste manner. “I might feel bad for the boy that went abused and unloved because that’s human decency, but I don’t feel sorry for you. The man you are today is so intoxicating to me that I can’t seem to get enough of him.” She licked my lips and kissed me again. “Tighter,” she breathed, pushing into my touch.
My grip on her neck tightened, causing her lashes to flutter as her pupils dilated and her breathing staggered.
“You like that I could crush your windpipe right now, don’t you? The thought got your pussy wet, hmm?” She moaned softly.
“Yeah you love that I’m a cruel man. You tried to seem all appalled but it turns you on knowing I’d cut the hand off any man who touches you or slit the throat of anyone who goes against me.”
The lust in her orbs grew. Craving for her slammed into me like a raging bull. Snatching her closer to me, I kissed her hungrily. Her mouth willingly opened and accepted my tongue.
Azeira moaned in my mouth and lifted, straddling my lap. Since she only wore one of my shirts, it was easy for me to access her drenched pussy. It leaked on my lap. Her sweet scent filled my nose.
“You talk about everyone seeing you as innocent, but you’re not at all. You’re filthy deep down inside. You just needed the right person to bring it out of you.”
“You’re right,” she whimpered. “I always felt it inside me. The men before you just couldn’t unlock it.” My nostrils flared and a wave of possession washed over me at the thought of her being with other men.
“I’m about to fill this pussy with so much cum that any man that gets close to you will be able to smell me on you. It’ll practically drip from your pores.” Her lashes fluttered again and her head went back as I removed my dick and lowered her on me. Her walls swallowed me instantly.
“If I had my knife I would carve my initials right now on your collarbone so everyone could see.” My hand went from her neck to her collarbone and I brushed over it gently.
She moaned and shuddered while winding her hips.
“Yes,” she breathed.
The need to mark her covered me, sending my stomach ablaze.
Moving my hand back to her neck, I choked her until she was gasping for air. Azeira’s body jerked on mine. Her movements grew shaky as she moaned louder. Her walls locked around me and her pussy was wetter.
“That’s right, Beauty, soak my lap,” I demanded, thrusting up. She attempted to speak, but my choking made it harder.
My balls were heavy and begging to be relieved. I thrusted harder into her, keeping my grip tight on her neck.
Azeira’s eyes rolled to the back of her head. Her lips parted and her body stilled. My dick swelled and cum shot into her, coating her walls and waiting womb.
Removing my hand from her neck, I replaced it with my face and sank my teeth into her skin. She cried out and came again. It was sick, the way I wanted every inch of her filled with my markings and name. Never did I want there to be any question who she belonged to. Her bleeding for me sent a wave of adrenaline through my body.
Lifting, I stared into her lustful eyes. My dick was still semi hard, but grew harder feeling how wet and warm she was.
“I’m gonna fuck you until the only man you remember filling your walls is me.”
After taking her body a couple more times, I finally allowed Azeira to rest. I forbade her to clean up, loving that she was going to sleep with so much of my cum inside her.
Her body curled into me and her breathing was steady. I was still wired from my nightmare, so I knew sleep wasn’t going to find me anytime soon.
“?” Azeira whispered in the darkness.
“Mhm,” I answered, staring at the ceiling.
“Have you ever been on a date?” My brows furrowed.
“No.”
She shifted, moving closer into me as if she was trying to plant herself inside my skin. “Dates are nice. I haven’t been on a real one in a long time though.”
I glanced down at her, wondering what the point of the conversation was. While I enjoyed taking and claiming her, I didn’t want Azeira to confuse this relationship or me. I wasn’t the man that was gonna wine and dine her. I was gonna crave her tears then lick them off when they came. Hurt her to the point where marks were left so everyone could see. Azeira had become my obsession. The urge to cover and lock her away from all to see clawed at me daily.
There were no sunshine and rainbows in this story, only dark desires and twisted needs surrounded by shadows.