Chapter 17
Ortak
It takes much longer for us to unload our sleds with Elodie’s help than it would have without it, but she made her intent to provide assistance known. After she had slung several furs over her shoulder and taken them inside, Gannen approached and leaned close.
“Elodie is very fierce. I did not know she could be like that.”
Neither had I. The fire in her eyes had stirred my cock.
Even thinking of her ferocity now makes it twitch with need.
For an entire moon cycle, the ache I have felt for Elodie has grown stronger.
With each passing turn, it has become harder to resist her.
She has given no signs, though, that her desire for me is anything other than friendship.
We have touched often, but nothing more than hand holding or a graze across the flesh of my arm.
Perhaps Elodie has also laid her hand over the place where my hearts beat several times, but the touches are brief and never linger.
I have caressed the soft flesh of her cheek many times, but she has done nothing more than smile and blush—a human word she shared when I asked how to describe the change in color.
Kala has said I must wait for Elodie to initiate the kissing that humans do, because it is too easy for our females to be cut with our mouth claws and teeth.
So I have done what he says, and I have waited.
Still, she does not kiss me, not even the innocent kisses she often gives Gannen.
I have reached the conclusion that it is because Elodie chooses not to.
Which means I must settle for her friendship.
She sits on a stool a Tavikhi female named Alanda brought to our tent while we were unloading. Her gaze travels over the space and she pauses to study various items on occasion.
“I’m going to bring in a few bundles of dried livando to hang. They’ll make the place smell nice,” Elodie says. “I also think we need to set out a vase of fresh flowers to add some color. There’s a whole copse of nenuphar bushes near the river we can pick them from.”
A shift happens in my chest at her suggestions. “You wish to add female touches to our dwelling?”
Elodie winces. “Sorry, I got a little carried away. This is your home, not mine, and you should decide if you want to add anything to it.”
“I thought you were going to be making this your home,” Gannen rushes out. “Did you not plan on sharing our dwelling with us soon?”
She sputters and shifts back and forth on the stool, not meeting my gaze or his.
“An unmated male should not ask an unmated female to share his dwelling.” No matter how much that unmated male wishes to do so.
“But you and Elodie are going to be mated,” Gannen states as if it is fact. “Then this dwelling would be hers. She would share your furs. You do not need to ask her to share. That is how it is done.”
Elodie jumps up, wobbling unsteadily on one foot. “Whoa, let’s slow things down a little here. This conversation has gone a bit off the rails.”
My kit glances back and forth between us.
“I do not understand. We have been spending all our time together for an entire moon cycle. Elodie and you share the affection similar to mates and she shares affection how a momo does with me. Talek and Sorin said Gogo was performing the human ritual of courting, which is what all the Tavikhi males have done with their mates. We have placed our dwelling directly next to hers, because I thought this is the spot where she wished to remain.”
I stare at Gannen, helpless and uncertain what to do or say. Elodie hops closer to him and attempts to pull him into her embrace, but he evades her hold.
“Gannen,” she coaxes him gently. “Your gogo and I are friends.”
He shakes his head. “Gogo is courting you because you are going to be mates. Tell her.”
My mouth slit parts, but I cannot form words. Elodie turns her head toward me and her eyes are pleading for help.
“Elodie is right. We are friends.”
Gannen rattles his head hard and backs away from us both. “No, that is not how it is.” With a sharp cry, he pivots and runs out of the tent.
“Shit, fuck, motherfucker, son of a bitch, goddamn it,” she yells and turns in place, fisting her hair. Her gaze shifts to the open doorway and she drops her head back to stare up at the ceiling.
Her chest heaves and when she finally rights her head and our eyes meet, hers are filled with tears that spill over and slide down her cheeks. “Fuck,” she rasps out and collapses onto the stool.
The crutches drop to the ground and Elodie covers her face with her hands. Her shoulders shake. I kneel in front of her and hesitate for several beats before I wrap my arms around her. She sobs and returns my embrace as she buries her nose between my neck and shoulder and cries.
I offer her sounds of comfort and stroke up and down her back in what I hope is a soothing gesture.
Time passes and is lost as we sit and hold each other.
Finally, Elodie’s tears dry and she draws away, swiping the remaining wetness from her cheeks and wiping her nose with the back of her hand. I release her with great reluctance.
“This is all my fault,” she says. “I didn’t mean to confuse him about…everything. I should have known the conclusions he might draw with all the mixed signals I was probably giving off.”
“No.” I push back the dark hair that, at the beginning, had closely cradled her head, but has now grown long enough to tuck behind her ears.
“I am the one to blame for his misunderstanding. He has made many comments over the last moon cycle about how it will be once we settled here. Instead of reminding him of the friendship we each share with one another, I ignored his comments. Perhaps because I did not want to remind myself either.”
Elodie palms my face. “God, Ortak. What are we going to do?”
“I will find and speak to him.”
She slaps the top of her injured leg. “Why did this have to happen? If not for my dumb broken leg, I’d go with you to try and look for him.”
“No, you are tired and need to rest. I do not know how long it will take me to locate him. It will also be better if I speak with him alone, I believe.”
Elodie sighs. “You’re probably right. Please hurry though. I hate that he’s hurting.”
Unable to resist, I lean forward and rub my cheek alongside hers. It is as near to the human kiss I am able to give her. “I will find him and bring him back soon.”
Without another word, I quickly exit the dwelling in search of my kit. I am only halfway across the length of the village when Kala approaches carrying Jiasha. “He is that way, down at the river.”
My body sags in relief, and I nod my thanks before heading that direction. Gannen is there, seated on one of the few benches that line the water’s edge with his back to me. When I get close enough that he is able to hear me, he stiffens, but does not turn around.
I sink down next to him and do nothing more than take in our new surroundings and wait until he is ready to speak.
The sun creeps across the sky and the first moon rises over the horizon.
For the last three sun cycles we have made our home up in the mountains, surrounded on all sides by the forest. Here, in the Tavikhi village are wide open spaces.
The forest begins on the opposite side of the river from where we sit. No trees block our view above. It is only the vastness of the sky spreading out and far beyond what the eyes can see. We will get used to our new village—our new tribe—but nothing will be the same as it was.
“Why does Elodie not want to be your mate or my momo?”
The pain in his voice tears my insides apart.
I do not have an answer to the first part of his question, so I choose to only focus on the second part.
“You do not need to call her Momo to love her as if she is your momo. Nor do you need to call her that for her to love you as if you are her kit. She tells you often how much she loves you, and she shows you how much as well. All the time. Does she not?”
Gannen slowly nods. “Elodie kisses me goodbye and tells me she loves me each night when we visit and before we return—returned—to our old village.”
“That is right. She has shown you over and over again how much she loves you. It is not wrong to call what the two of you share a friendship. Elodie does not love you any less because she and I are not mated, nor do I believe she would love you more if she and I were. Do you?”
Gannen sighs heavily and takes a moment before he speaks. “No.”
“No matter what, Elodie will always love you. She will make sure you never go hungry. She will protect you with her life and will do everything she can to make sure you are happy and taken care of. You do not ever have to worry about that.”
“I know. I just wish the two of you could be mated so she will be my momo in truth.”
So do I. “Elodie and I hold great affection for one another. Besides you and Kala, she is the only person I would truly call family. The three of us can still be a family even if she and I are not mated or share the same dwelling.”
Gannen breathes out another heavy sigh. “Is Elodie very upset?”
“She is upset because you are hurting, and she blames herself. You know how her softer emotions get the better of her.”
His laugh is quiet, but harsh sounding. Like two rocks scraping against each other. “She has more soft emotions than Iris does.”
“Yes, she does. Which is why we must be tender with her.”
He finally turns my way. “I will need to go back and give her my apologies and many hugs.”
I clasp his shoulder. “Yes, you do. She has told you how much better your hugs make her feel.”
“They make me feel better, too.”
“Come, then. Let us return to our new dwelling so that Elodie can receive your hugs and you will both feel better.”
Gannen stands and I do the same. Together, we walk back through the village.
It is an unusual sensation to be navigating the current path knowing that when night is fully upon us, we will not be leaving.
We will wake up every turn after this one in our new home with our new tribe brothers and sisters.
Gannen will be surrounded by so many other kits who he will continue to grow up beside.
Our people will soon begin to thrive once more.
Most importantly, Elodie will be here with us.