Chapter 13
Julia
“Did you sleep?” I asked, my voice hollow.
“No. I don’t think either of us did.”
I looked over at my husband, my heart breaking. “He left,” I whispered. Everything felt so empty and covered in shades of gray. “I didn’t think he’d actually leave.”
“He didn’t want to lean on us, didn’t want to show that. While I get it, he still left.”
“Ronin, we need to go to him. He needs us.”
Ronin scoffed. “No, he doesn’t. He never needed anyone.”
“You’re lying to yourself because it hurts,” I snapped.
“You don’t believe that any more than I do.
You’re trying to protect yourself, and me.
But all you’re doing is hurting inside. Kincaid needs us.
” I knew I was about to say something that could change everything.
Could break everything. “I love him, Ronin. I love him so much. Just like I love you. And I can’t watch him walk away. ”
Ronin’s face shuttered, and I felt like I was falling. As if I’d said too much and made another mistake.
“Julia…” he began, and I moved away, not letting him touch me.
“I shouldn’t have told you that. Not when you weren’t ready.
I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall in love with someone else, but it happened.
Though it doesn’t negate what I feel for you.
I thought the three of us were working, that we were finding a way to make a family.
And yet, that wasn’t the case. He left, and you’re just letting him walk away forever. ”
“Julia, he left once before.”
“But he came back,” I corrected, swallowing hard.
“He still left. Again.”
“Because he needed to go to a meeting, something he had to do on his own. And we needed to let him. But now, we need to go to him and tell him and show him how we feel. Before we do that, though, you need to tell me how you feel. Because if we’re not on the same page in this, then we’re not doing it right.
And we are always on the same page, Ronin. ”
“I...” He trailed off.
“Ronin.”
“What if we’re not enough?” he asked, and my heart broke for him. I went to him then, cupped his face, and kissed him softly, needing him, loving my husband more than anything.
“Stop it. This isn’t what we do. He’s hurting, we all are. But together? We’re going to make this work. How do you feel about Kincaid?”
“You know how I feel,” my husband whispered.
“Tell me. I need to hear the words.”
“I love him. And I love you. I think I’ve always loved him.”
“And I knew that.” My eyes filled with tears.
“We need to get him back. He’s hurting, but we were both hurting before, and he held onto us.
Now, it’s our turn to do that for him. Relationships are hard, and they suck sometimes, and it feels like there’s never going to be a way to happiness.
But then you get there, and everything is bliss.
You and I are proof of that. And I have enough love inside me for both of you.
And I know you do, too. Let’s make sure he understands that. ”
“I think I love you more now than I did when I first met you.”
“Love is allowed to grow, hearts to beat harder with each passing breath. You have to go get our man. And show him that he’s not allowed to leave when things get tough.” I slapped Ronin hard on the arm, and he winced playfully.
“What was that for?”
“Because you’re not allowed to brood and push me away when you get angry.”
“Then you’re not allowed to tell me to shut up so you can wallow.”
I narrowed my eyes. “I don’t do that all the time.”
“We each have our own issues,” Ronin said with a soft laugh. “But you’re right, let’s go get our man.”
And then he kissed me hard, and I sank into him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders.
“I love you, Ronin.”
“I love you with every inch of my soul. And I know it’s wrapped around Kincaid, as well, and life isn’t going to be easy. But I feel like I can do anything with you at my side.”
“That was a part of your vows to me,” I whispered, blinking away tears.
“It was. One day, I think we should make sure we have vows for Kincaid, too.”
My heart skipped a beat, and I grinned. “We just need to make sure that we’re so irresistible that he can’t walk away.”
Ronin cupped my face and kissed me again. “I think you could do that all on your own.”
“The two of us together? Irresistible.”
I sucked in a breath as we pulled into Kincaid’s driveway. We weren’t there often, as it always just made more sense for all of us to gather at our house, but I felt like this could be another part of our home if we kept it.
I hated the idea that Kincaid was here all alone, brooding, not letting us hold him. But that was about to change. He would have to deal with us.
I was a little out of breath as I moved to the front door, Ronin at my side. I rang the doorbell even as Ronin knocked, and I grinned.
“He’s not going to be able to say no to us.”
Kincaid opened the door, dark circles under his eyes, gray sweatpants riding low on his hips.
He wore nothing else, his scars bright in the sunlight.
“I knew you two would be here eventually,” Kincaid said and moved back to let us in.
I looked into his eyes, and he shook his head.
“I’m fine. I went to a meeting. Talked it out. I’m not drinking.”
“I didn’t think you would,” I said honestly.
“Although I am a little miffed that you didn’t talk to us,” Ronin grumbled.
And then he held up a hand before either Kincaid or I could say anything.
“But I understand why you didn’t. However, I want you to know that you walking away from us like that?
It can’t happen all the time. We each have our issues, and we’re going to have to figure out how to work through them. Together.”
“You guys keep talking like there’s a big future coming,” Kincaid said, looking between the two of us. “But do you think this can work with the three of us? A future where we don’t fuck up, and we live in bliss and all of that shit?”
I shook my head at the vulgarity, knowing Kincaid needed it to put up barriers. “You deserve happiness. Maybe we can be the ones to find it with you. But you deserve forgiveness and hope, too. And I want to be part of that.”
Ronin nodded. “So do I.”
“How do you see this working?” Kincaid asked softly.
“However we want it to,” I said. “Ronin is my husband, but you’re mine, too.
We don’t need titles or legally binding papers to make us who we are.
But there can be promises, and a future mapped out—at least partly.
Because I don’t want you to walk away. I don’t want you thinking that you ever have to be alone.
” I knew I was baring my soul to the second person in my life.
“I love you, Kincaid. I didn’t mean to fall so fast. I don’t want you to go away. ”
Kincaid’s eyes widened, and Ronin let out a curse. “Why do you seem so surprised? I love you too, you asshole.”
That made me laugh and close my eyes. “You know you’re much more romantic when you’re not angry,” I said dryly to my husband.
Ronin shrugged. “Kincaid makes me angry, but in a good way.”
“I don’t understand the two of you.” Kincaid looked between us. “I don’t understand how you can be so open.”
“I’m not,” I answered. “Not to everybody. You know I’ve been through enough that it’s not easy for me to trust. But, sometimes, people make it easy.
You’re one of those. Now, I don’t know what’s going to happen years from now, but I do know that I want you with us. Somehow. Will you take that chance?”
Ronin moved forward then and brushed his knuckles across Kincaid’s bearded cheek. “Please take that chance. I lost you before. I don’t want to do it again. You know Julia is our center. And she can be our center, not just mine. Please.”
“I’m not a perfect man. I have a lot of faults, and am going to make a lot of mistakes,” Kincaid said.
“And you think I’m perfect?” Ronin asked, a brow raised.
“I think that I hurt you before, and I don’t want to do it again,” Kincaid whispered.
“Then don’t,” Ronin said simply.
Kincaid sucked in a breath, then ran his hand over his red hair. For a moment, I was afraid he was going to walk away again, leaving us shattered. I knew I would always have Ronin, but there would be something missing now if we lost Kincaid. Something we hadn’t known we needed.
“I love you two so much. I didn’t mean to fall and get hurt on the way down, but damn it. I don’t want to go anywhere. So, if you’ll have a broken man who makes a lot of mistakes and doesn’t know what he’s doing, I’m in.”
Tears fell, and then I reached out and kissed Kincaid hard on the mouth before he moved to kiss Ronin, and then I had to kiss my husband. The three of us held one another, tears falling freely down my cheeks as my men wiped them away.
I leaned into them, captured by their gazes, covered in their scents and secure in their arms, and I knew that life wouldn’t be easy.
The world might not understand exactly who we were and the choices we made, but their opinions and stances didn’t matter in the end.
What did were the two people in my arms, and whatever family we made in the future.
That life was full of choices and moments of understanding, and I held the two people close that knew every ounce of me to the very depths of my soul.
I had been happy, had found my forever, and then I was blessed again with a forever wrapped in two.