54/Renee
I arrived at Danielle’s with a trunk full of gifts.
My goddaughter’s baby was beautiful. I had gone to the baby store and gotten a little carried away.
But I love babies… as long as they’re not mine.
I removed the bags from my trunk and headed up the driveway. Kayla’s car was parked on the street. The front door was unlocked, and the second I stepped inside, I found Kayla sitting on the floor rocking Danielle in her arms.
I dropped the bags.
“What’s wrong?”
Kayla looked over at me and shook her head. “I don’t know. I can’t get Danielle to stop crying long enough to tell me.”
A knot formed in my stomach.
I hurried over and sat beside them.
“Danny, honey, is something wrong with Portia or the baby?”
The fear in my voice surprised even me.
She shook her head and kept crying.
Now she was scaring me because I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen Danielle cry this hard.
“Danny, you gotta tell us what’s wrong so we can help you.”
Kayla nodded and continued rubbing Danielle’s back, trying to soothe her.
Instead, Danielle suddenly screamed. A raw, gut-wrenching scream. Kayla grabbed her shoulders and tried to calm her down.
Nothing worked.
I jumped up and slapped her.
Hard.
“Danny, snap out of it!”
She stared at me for a second before collapsing onto the floor and breaking down all over again.
I immediately dropped beside her and pulled her into my arms.
“Danny, you’re scaring me. Please tell us what’s wrong.”
She struggled to get the words out through the tears.
“I-I got HIV.”
“What?”
I looked over at Kayla.
Both of us sat frozen.
Stunned.
Dear God.
When I asked You to make my test negative, I didn’t mean for You to give it to my best friend.
Danielle jerked free and pushed to her feet.
Her chest was heaving.
“I’m a nurse, dammit!” she screamed. “I know about condoms and venereal diseases. I work on a floor with women who have to have C-sections because they got herpes on their damn pussies. I know all about HIV and how it’s contracted.”
She jabbed a finger into her chest.
“Yet my stupid ass put my life in the hands of some worthless-ass niggas I trusted!”
Kayla rose slowly. “It’s not your fault.”
“Yes, it is!”
Danielle spun toward her.
“I fucked up! I knew the risks. I could’ve said no. I could’ve reached for a condom in my drawer, but I didn’t.”
Fresh tears streamed down her face.
“Now look at me. I got HIV. HIV!” Her voice cracked. “My life is ruined.”
She collapsed onto the floor again and started sobbing.
I rushed over and wrapped my arms around her.
This could have been me.
A few days ago, I was sitting in my house praying, bargaining, crying, wondering if my life was over.
Now it was Danielle.
Her pain felt like my pain.
“Why, Nae-Nae?” she wailed. “Whyyy?”
I closed my eyes. “I don’t know, Danny. I really don’t.” Because for once, I didn't have a smart-ass response.
I didn't have a joke.
I didn't have anything.
“Things happen for reasons we don’t understand.”
She started beating her fists against my chest.
Not hard.
Just hurt.
The kind of hurt that needed somewhere to go.
I let her.
“Go ahead,” I whispered. “Let it out.”
Her fists kept coming.
“Go ahead and get it all out.”
I tightened my arms around her. “Because once you're done, we're gonna figure this out.”
She buried her face against my shoulder.
“We're gonna find the best doctors.”
She cried harder.
“We're gonna get you whatever treatment you need.”
Her entire body shook.
“And you're gonna live.”
I pulled back until she was forced to look at me. “You hear me?”
Fresh tears slid down my face.
“You're not going anywhere.”
My voice broke.
“Nowhere.”
By then I was crying right along with her.
Kayla came over and joined us on the floor. She took Danielle’s hand and said a prayer. By the time she finished, all three of us were crying.
I felt everything Danielle was feeling because a few days ago, that had been me.
Scared.
Terrified.
Wondering if I would live long enough to see grandchildren.
I called her parents and told Victoria we’d be late getting to her house.
She immediately knew something was wrong and started asking questions, but I told her Danielle would explain everything later.
The doorbell rang. I knew it was Nadine and Jordan. Right now, wasn't the time.
Kayla went to the door while I stayed with Danielle. By the time she came back, I was still sitting on the floor holding my best friend.
“Nae-Nae, what... what am I gonna do?” Danielle whispered.
I brushed the tears from her face.
“You’re gonna live.”