Chapter 36 Janie
JANIE
“Ready?” Brax asked me.
“No,” I said.
He smiled. “Yes, you are.”
We were in his conference room. Behind the closed door, I could hear his secretary, Sharon, greeting someone. I gulped. They were here.
My parents entered first. They shook hands with Brax before Dad squeezed my shoulder. Mom nodded, her voice as crisp and cool as ever when she said, “Hello, dear. It would have been nice if you had returned my calls. I’d like to take Maya shopping for back-to-school clothes.”
My mouth flapped open. That was what she had to say to me? I stared at her, speechless, as she took a seat next to me at the conference table. When Dad sat next to her, I finally found my voice. “I think you’re supposed to sit on the other side.”
Mom’s head whipped toward me, her eyes wide with shock. “Next to Rupert? Over my dead body.”
The venom in her voice made me blink.
“We are always on your side, Janie. If you don’t know that then…” She trailed off, her brow furrowed.
I squinted. Was Mom apologizing? I tried to remember if I had ever heard the words I’m sorry out of her mouth. Nope, never. “Then what?”
She folded her hands primly in her lap. “Then there has been a misunderstanding.”
My eyes rolled to the back of my head. Classic.
And then Rupert strode in.
“My client will not be signing this farce of a contract.” Rupert’s lawyer tossed the stapled pages aside.
Brax smiled pleasantly. “You seem to be under the mistaken notion that this is a negotiation. It’s not. Senator Warren will sign before we leave here today, or we will settle this in court. A very public court.”
Rupert flinched at the word. “Don’t do this, Janie.
It’s not the money. I can triple what you’re asking for, if that’s what you want.
But the clause regarding Maya must be reinstated.
So much is at stake here. You understand that.
You’ve always understood that, Janie.” His tone was gentle and kind.
A perfectly reasonable man appealing to my better nature.
God, he was insufferable.
The contract I signed in the hospital was basically a gag order.
It required me to keep Maya out of public photographs until ten years after her father’s death, whenever that date might be, including yearbooks.
She couldn’t be within five hundred feet of him at any time.
Attending the parties and fundraisers my parents threw was obviously out of the question.
The new contract guaranteed that I would never publicly name Rupert as her father and left it at that.
Whatever people discovered on their own was not my problem.
I had no desire to ruin his life or lay claim to his name in any way, but I was done keeping Maya hidden like she was a dirty little secret.
She was the best thing that had ever happened to me, and I would never let her feel otherwise.
“Do not address my client.” Brax’s voice was sharp enough to cut steel. “Do not even look at her.”
“You should be ashamed of yourself,” Rupert spat.
I laid a quelling hand on Brax’s arm for the sole purpose of keeping him out of jail and looked Rupert dead in the eye.
“Why should I be ashamed? Did I seduce an impressionable intern twenty years younger than me, lie about being separated from my spouse, and hide the resulting baby while holding myself up as a paragon of virtue to the world? No, wait, that was you.” I tilted my head.
“I’d say you should be ashamed of yourself, but why waste my breath?
You can’t feel shame without having a moral compass, and the only thing inside you is a rotted soul. ”
If glares could incinerate people, I’d be nothing but a pile of ash. If he thought he could intimidate me, he was mistaken. I wasn’t twenty-one anymore. Whatever pull he’d had on me then, it was long gone now. Jack’s voice was in my head, cheering me on. Attagirl, Ace. Let your bad out.
“I’ve made myself silent to keep your secrets safe. I’ve made my life small so that yours could be big. I have been so damn good. And I. Am. Done.” I tapped the table with each word. “Sign the papers, Rupert. Because if you don’t, the next thing I’m going to make myself is a whole ass problem.”
Mom gasped. Dad coughed. Brax snorted.
Rupert signed the papers.
I stood outside the Painted Cat, staring through the window at Jack so hard that he felt the weight of it and whipped in my direction.
Adam, Zack, and Steven turned a second later, but Jack had already vaulted over the bar.
God. My heart hammered against my ribs as he barreled out the door, nearly taking it off its hinges.
He stopped inches from me, chest heaving. For a moment I thought he might grab me, but then he put his hands on his hips. “Hey.”
I burst into tears.
“Shit,” he muttered. His arms ghosted around me and when I didn’t protest, he pulled me tightly against his chest and kissed my temple. “It’s okay, honey. I know how to make death look like an accident.”
I laughed in spite of myself. “You don’t have to do that. Everything is good. It’s adrenaline, that’s all.”
“Jack.” I wiped my face on the sleeve of my fancy wool blazer. “I love you.”
His irises flared and then narrowed. “Why does that sound like there’s a but coming?”
“But if you want to be with me so you can fix me, this is never going to work.” No matter how hot the whole bar-vaulting thing was. “I can’t be your mission.”
He pulled back, his forehead furrowed. “What?”
“I know you’ve been feeling lost since you left the military, Jack. I get it. But trying to fix my life isn’t the answer. I don’t want you to save me and I…” My voice cracked on a sob. “I can’t save anyone. I’m still trying to figure out my own shit.”
“Huh.” He mulled that for a moment. “Wait here, okay?”
Before I could ask why, he jogged inside. A moment later he was back with something in his hand.
“For you.” The plastic paper crinkled as he slapped it into my hand.
I looked down and my stomach flipped. “Jack,” I said slowly. “Why are you giving me M&Ms?”
“I know you don’t remember this, but twenty years ago we met by the river. My dad had bailed, Essie was upset, and I didn’t know how to fix any of it. You gave me your candy for Essie. You didn’t even know me, but you helped me anyway.”
“I remember. I thought you didn’t remember.” My whole world was tilting upside down.
He laughed. “I told you, Janie. I never lose track of anyone, but especially not you. We’ve always been a team. Fucking always. Even at ten years old, you were someone I could count on. I’ve never forgotten that. I trust you, Janie. I trust you with your life and I trust you with mine.”
I blinked rapidly, my lips parting.
“Both of us are a little disoriented right now, but so what? We’ll work it out together. I’ve learned my lesson, I promise. I’m not going to fix anything for you. I’ll fix it with you. You do that for me, too.”
I sniffled. “Really?”
The look he gave me was pure Jack. Exasperation and tenderness in equal measure. “Don’t you get it? You’re my ace. As long as I have you, I can’t lose.”
My heart. My heart. It was full to bursting.
“I don’t have my life where I want it to be.
I don’t have a plan, and yeah, I’m never going to be comfortable with that.
But I’ll get through it.” He cupped my face in his palms, his eyes boring into mine with so much love that it stole my breath.
“I’m not lost, Janie. I know the direction home. I’m looking right at her.”
My eyes swam with happy tears. “I love you, Jack,” I choked out.
“I love you, too.”
He kissed me. Muffled whoops from inside the bar made us break apart, laughing.
“I have to go back in before they rob me blind,” he said. “Are you heading to the library to pick up Maya?”
I nodded. “See you at home, soldier.”