Chapter 37 Jack
JACK
“This party gets bigger every year,” Ted Hale mused. He had a can of Coke in one hand and a spatula in the other. He didn’t drink alcohol since he’d taken to it a little too well after his wife passed away from cancer several years ago.
It was the fourth annual end-of-summer bash at Lodestar Ranch.
Adam’s son, Ben, had started it right around the time James had started working at the ranch and it had been a tradition ever since.
There was always good friends and good food—and an excessive amount of watermelon, courtesy of Ben’s garden.
Right now, Ted and I were on grill duty.
Ted had the burgers and I had the brats.
Ben was showing Maya his garden. James had her eye on them while she chopped watermelon, but Ben was a teenager now and probably one of the most responsible kids I’d ever met.
He’d keep Maya safe. Steven had Grayson strapped to his chest again and was setting up a game of cornhole with Adam.
Janie, Essie, Chloe, and Brax were making watermelon margaritas, and Zack was pushing Hannah on the old rope swing.
“We keep adding new people to the family.” Ted pointed his Coke at the yard.
“This year, that’s you. Seems strange that this is your first time.
You’ve always been family, Jack. You and Cat and Essie.
But I suppose you were off being a hero.
Anyway, we’re glad you’re here now. There was a time when some of us worried that maybe you wouldn’t ever be.
” He said it lightly enough, but I heard the real emotion in the words.
“I sometimes worried about that myself,” I confessed.
Not that I had ever really thought much about dying. With the work I did, death was an ever-present threat. At some point, I tuned it out and stopped worrying about it.
But being here. Love and laughter and fucking feelings right on the surface where I didn’t have to go digging for them?
I hadn’t thought it was possible. I’d had to shut all that off to do my job because worrying about all the hearts you’d break if you died was a surefire way to cause second-guessing, and second-guessing led to mistakes, and mistakes led to death, which led to the broken hearts you were trying to avoid in the first place.
I remembered the day I met Maya, how it seemed like I might never feel again. Like I was a mountain, and people were nothing more than ants. I wasn’t a mountain anymore. I had finally zoomed back in.
I felt it all now. The good, the bad. All of it. And I was fucking grateful.
Ted lifted a burger slightly to check its char, then flipped it over completely. “I’m always a little sad when summer ends and Ben goes back to school. I suppose you’ll be going through that yourself with Maya. What’s next for you?”
That question would have made me spiral six months ago.
Now I shrugged. “I’m looking at a few options.
I want to keep the first few weeks of school flexible for whatever Maya needs.
Janie tells me those weeks can be pretty hectic.
After that…” My gaze went to the mountains.
“I have a job offer with a search and rescue team. I volunteered on a rescue a couple weeks ago and I think it could be the right fit for me.”
Ted hooted. “Back on your hero shit, eh?” He clapped my shoulder, and then his large, gnarled hand lingered there in a paternal squeeze. “I’m proud of you, son. I know Cat is, too. Hell, we all are.”
I shifted from one foot to the other. That kind of talk still made me want to crawl into a hole and hide. Some things never changed, I guessed. “Thanks,” I said gruffly, sipping my beer to hide my red face.
“Yep.” Ted nodded briskly. “Hard to believe how much things have changed around here in the past four years. Two of my boys married, and Zack is engaged. I have the feeling Chloe is giving the whole lot of them baby fever.”
Grayson was being passed around the embroidery club now. Ted and I fell silent as we watched them coo over his chubby cheeks and little hands. Janie took Grayson from Hannah and lifted him in the air to tickle his belly with her nose, making him giggle with delight.
My breath caught. My chest ached.
Aw, fuck.
Ted snickered next to me. “One thing at a time, son. One thing at a time.”
“Will you push me on the tire swing, Jack?” Maya’s hand caught mine as I was about to climb the porch steps.
“Sure. Let me put the food in the fridge and then I’ll be right back, okay?”
We had been the first to leave the party—even beating Chloe and Steven. The second Maya had started showing signs of overstimulation, we had said our goodbyes. Ted had sent us home with a heap of leftovers.
“I can take that in.” Janie reached for the container. “You go ahead. Swinging seems to help Maya’s brain calm down. Love you.” She rolled up on her toes and kissed me before disappearing inside.
I watched her go, feeling lucky, and then turned back to Maya. “Okay, scamp. Let’s swing.”
After Maya went back inside, I stayed on the porch to watch the stars come out. It didn’t take long for Janie to poke her head out to check on me.
“Hey. You want company?”
She asked because sometimes I didn’t, and she was fine with that. Janie was good at letting people be exactly who they were, never trying to mold them into something more palatable. Me, Maya, customers at the Painted Cat, it didn’t matter. I loved that about her.
I loved a lot of things about her.
“I want your company,” I said and she came all the way onto the porch. She settled next to me on the swing.
“I was thinking,” she began. “About September.”
“I’ve been thinking about that, too.”
“We’ve only been dating for two months. That’s way too soon to move in together, right?”
I tensed. We still had our separate rooms, but I spent most nights in her bed. “I suppose it depends on the couple.”
“Well, obviously we’re talking about you and me.” She didn’t say doofus but I heard it in her voice.
I smiled. “Obviously.”
“So you think it’s too soon?” she pressed.
“I think if you ask me to leave so we can follow a proper relationship timeline, I’m going to remind you that technically, our relationship started back in November. But if you insist, of course I’ll go. You should expect an angry phone call from my mother, though.”
Janie rolled her eyes. “You’re such a mama’s boy.” She wrinkled her nose. “In a good way, I guess. If there is such a thing.”
“There is absolutely such a thing.” I threaded our hands together. “Please don’t ask me to go.”
Her breath hitched. “It seems silly for you to move out if you’re going to move back in again someday.”
“Very silly.”
“But you won’t be Maya’s manny September. I won’t be paying you.”
I cocked an eyebrow at her quizzically. “What are you getting at, Ace? Figure out what I’ll owe you for rent and household expenses, and I’ll pay it.”
“That’s not what I meant.” She huffed. “I mean, I think you should move into my room. When you being here is not a financial transaction.”
I snorted a laugh. “So I don’t get confused about what you’re paying me for? Don’t worry, honey. I’ll always let you give me blowjobs for free.”
“Jack!”
She tried to whack me with her free hand but I captured that one, too, and hauled her, laughing, onto my lap.
I gripped her chin and brought her in for a kiss. “I love you, Janie, and I can’t wait to move in with you.”
Her dark eyes sparkled back at me. Forehead to mine, she whispered, “Welcome home, Jack.”
And I smiled. The words finally felt right.