Chapter 15 #2
“I know who my wife is.”
“Then why are we even having this conversation?”
“I don't know.”
That answer shut me up. Because neither did I.
I shook my head.
“This shit stupid.”
“It is.”
“I'm going home.”
“Okay.”
I turned.
Made it two steps.
Then heard him behind me.
“Nyrobi.”
I stopped.
Every smart decision I made all week told me not to turn around but I did anyway.
“What?”
He was closer. But not touching me. Not even close enough to. But closer than he had been.
“I meant what I said the other day.”
“About?”
“Nothing can happen.”
I laughed softly.
“Why you telling me?”
His eyes narrowed.
“Because I'm not the only one standing here.”
My mouth fell open.
“Oh, so now this my fault?”
“I didn't say that.”
“You basically did.”
“No. I said I'm not imagining this shit by myself.”
I got quiet.
The confirmation I didn't need.
He felt it too. I should've hated hearing that. Instead, my heart started beating harder.
“I heard you.”
He frowned.
“What?”
I immediately regretted opening my mouth.
“Nothing.”
“What you mean you heard me?”
I looked away.
“Nyrobi.”
“Forget it.”
“Heard me where?”
I should've lied. Instead I looked back at him.
“That day you and Kaizleigh went upstairs.”
His face changed.
“At the hotel?”
I nodded.
Understanding hit him slowly. Then his eyes stayed on mine.
“You were outside that room?”
“Not the whole time.”
His eyebrows went up.
“Don't look at me like that.”
“How I'm looking?”
“Like that.”
“You listened?”
“I didn't go up there planning to!”
“But you listened.”
“Fuck you.”
A smile pulled at his mouth.
“This ain't funny.”
“No, it ain't.”
“Then stop smiling.”
He did. And somehow that was worse. Because the air changed again. I could hear my own breathing. I could feel every stupid thought I'd been trying not to have rushing back at once.
His voice through that door. Kaizleigh's. The way I'd stood there longer than I should have. Billion looked at me like he could tell exactly where my mind had gone.
“You need to go home.”
“I know.”
Neither of us moved. Then I don't know who moved first. I swear I don't. Maybe it was me. Maybe him. Maybe both of us.
All I knew was one second there was space between us and the next his mouth was on mine. And every thought in my head disappeared for about three seconds. Then reality slapped the shit out of me.
I pulled back.
“No.”
Billion stepped away just as fast.
“Fuck.”
I touched my mouth.
What the fuck had I just done?
Kaizleigh.
Her face hit my mind so fast my stomach turned.
“We can't.”
“I know.”
“I mean it.”
“I know.”
“She—”
“I fucking know, Nyrobi.”
His voice wasn't angry at me. He sounded angry at himself. I grabbed my purse tighter.
“I need to leave.”
“Yeah.”
I headed for the door.
Then stopped. That was the last smart thing I did. Because when I looked back, he was still standing there looking at me. And I looked at him. There are moments where you know exactly what the right thing is.
No confusion, gray areas or , nothing to figure out.
I knew what was right. He knew what was right.
And somehow knowing didn't stop either one of us.
The second kiss wasn't an accident. There wasn't any pretending after that.
He kissed me and I kissed him back knowing exactly whose husband he was.
Knowing exactly who was waiting at home for him.
Knowing the same woman trusted me enough to put her future child inside my body. That should've stopped me but it didn’t.
Before I knew it my hands were on his desk, my pants were down and he was giving me back shots I’d never felt from no other man. I mean I was literally gasping and trying my hardest not to be too loud. I couldn’t believe I was really in Mr. Stylez office letting him fuck the shit out of me.
Biting my bottom lip I was looking back at him locking eyes throwing my ass back matching his rhythm.
It was feeling so damn good and no excuse was good enough as to why I had crossed that line.
Not attraction, curiosity, not what I'd heard through that hotel door, not the way Billion had opened up to me…Nothing.
We crossed a line plain and fucking simple.
And by the time reality came rushing back in, it was too late to uncross it.
I couldn't look at him. That was the first thing I noticed afterward.
I fixed my clothes with my back turned and kept my eyes on the floor because every time I blinked, I saw Kaizleigh.
Not him just her. Kaizleigh standing beside that transfer table holding my hand.
Kaizleigh filling my refrigerator. Kaizleigh telling me she loved me by accident.
Kaizleigh crying when the first transfer failed.
I felt sick.
“What the fuck did we just do?”
Billion didn't answer immediately.
I finally looked at him.
He looked fucked up too.
Good.
I would've hated him if he didn't.
“This can't happen again,” he said.
I laughed, but it came out shaky.
“No fucking shit.”
“I mean it.”
“You think I don't?”
“I didn't say that.”
“There is no this.”
“I know.”
“No feelings.”
“I know.”
“No sneaking around.”
“Nyrobi—”
“No. Say it.”
His eyes met mine.
“It was a mistake.”
That hurt.
Which pissed me off because it was exactly what I wanted him to say.
“Exactly.”
“One fucked-up mistake.”
“That's it.”
“Never again.”
“Never.”
I grabbed my clinic folder from where I'd dropped it. A paper slipped out. I bent down and picked it up. My eyes landed on the instructions.
Medication schedule. Appointment date. Transfer preparation. Restrictions.
My stomach twisted.
Billion noticed.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“What is it?”
“I said nothing.”
I shoved the paper back inside.
The instructions Kaizleigh had reminded me about that morning suddenly felt like they were screaming off the fucking page.
No sex around the transfer window…Fuck.
“Nyrobi.”
“I gotta call the clinic.”
His face changed.
“Why?”
“Because I need to make sure I didn't fuck something up.”
“With the transfer?”
“Yes, Billion. With the fucking transfer.”
“Tell them what happened?”
I stared at him.
“I'm not calling the fertility clinic saying I fucked the intended mother's husband!”
“I didn't mean?—”
“I know what you meant.”
I rubbed my forehead.
“Fuck.”
“Calm down.”
“Don't tell me to calm down.”
“Alright.”
“I followed everything else.”
“Then ask them whatever you need to ask.”
“I will.”
He stepped toward me.
I stepped back.
That stopped him.
“No.”
“I wasn't?—”
“I know. Just don't.”
He nodded.
I opened the door.
“Nyrobi.”
I looked back.
“What?”
“I'm sorry.”
I stared at him.
“For which part?”
He didn't answer.
That was answer enough.
I walked out and called Kendra on my way home but I refused to tell her what had happened between me and Billion.
That was top secret and I wasn’t sharing that information with nobody at all.
I aint gone lie I stayed up late thinking about that shit and I couldn’t help but began rubbing on my pussy that man had really done something to my body I’d never experienced.
I totally understood why his wife was crazy about him. That dick was amazing.
Transfer Number Two happened shortly after. And somehow that was worse. Because Kaizleigh stood beside me in that clinic with hope all over her face, and I couldn't stop thinking about what I'd done. She held my hand again. Billion stood on her other side. This time I didn't look at him once.
The doctor talked. The nurse smiled. The embryo appeared on the screen. Kaizleigh cried. And I laid there feeling like the shittiest person alive.
“You okay?” she whispered.
I looked at her.
This woman trusted me.
“Yeah.”
“You sure?”
I nodded.
“Just nervous.”
She squeezed my hand.
“Me too.”
I almost pulled away but I didn't. Because that would've made her wonder why. So I squeezed hers back. When the doctor told us the transfer was complete, Kaizleigh closed her eyes and whispered something that sounded like a prayer.
Billion kissed her forehead. I stared at the ceiling. Nobody in that room knew what had happened except me and him. And that was exactly how it was going to stay.
One mistake. One time. Never again.
At least that's what I told myself while the embryo they'd been praying for was placed inside me.
What I didn't know was that my body had already been given another chance to make a baby.
One nobody in that room was waiting for.