Chapter 11
CHAPTER ELEVEN
KAIZLEIGH
By the time Friday came around, I had done exactly what Billion told me not to do.
Research myself damn near to death.
I had watched videos, read articles, joined two Facebook groups and somehow ended up on TikTok at almost two in the morning watching a woman explain what it was like carrying twins for a couple in California.
Every time I learned something new, I had another question. Then that question led to three more questions. Eventually Billion took my phone from me and put it on his nightstand.
"You done."
"I was reading."
"You've been reading for four hours."
"I'm trying to know what we're walking into."
"That's what the consultation is for."
"I don't wanna walk in there sounding stupid."
"Kaizleigh, we're paying them to answer questions. Ask the stupid ones too."
I had rolled my eyes, but he was right.
That didn't stop me from getting my phone back the second he fell asleep though.
Now it was Friday morning, and all that research still hadn't made me feel any more prepared.
I stood in our closet staring at two outfits like what I wore somehow mattered.
Billion walked in fastening his watch.
"You changing again?"
"I haven't changed."
"You had on a dress ten minutes ago."
"I took it off."
"That's called changing."
"I didn't like it."
He looked at the cream pantsuit I had on now.
"You look good."
"You said that about the dress."
"Because you looked good in the dress."
"So which one looked better?"
He stared at me.
"What?"
"Which outfit?"
"Kaizleigh."
"What?"
"We're going to talk about having a baby, not take pictures."
I turned toward the mirror.
"You could've just answered the question."
He walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.
"I like this."
"Why?"
"Because this the one you got on and I'm ready to go."
I looked at him through the mirror.
"You're no help."
"I'm plenty help. You just ask questions that don't have wrong answers and still find a way to tell me I'm wrong."
I laughed.
"Move."
He kissed the side of my head before letting me go.
"We gotta leave in ten minutes."
"I know."
"You said that fifteen minutes ago."
"Billion."
"I'm gone."
He walked out before I could throw something at him.
I looked at myself one last time, grabbed my purse and followed him downstairs.
Xavier was already waiting outside with the Escalade. The ride across town wasn't long, but I barely said anything. I kept looking out the window while Billion handled a few emails on his phone. Every now and then his hand would find my thigh.
He knew me. He knew when I needed to talk and when I just needed him close enough to remind me I wasn't doing something alone. By the time Xavier pulled beneath the covered entrance of the building, my stomach was doing entirely too much.
Billion put his phone away.
"You good?"
"Ask me when we leave."
He smiled.
"Fair enough."
Xavier opened my door, and I stepped out before Billion came around beside me.
The fertility center didn't look anything like I expected.
I guess in my head I had pictured a doctor's office with white walls, fluorescent lights and women sitting around holding clipboards.
This looked more like a spa.
Cream furniture filled the waiting area. There were fresh flowers on the tables, soft music playing somewhere in the background and tall windows overlooking a garden behind the building.
A woman sitting behind the front desk smiled when we walked in.
"Good morning. Welcome."
"Good morning," I answered.
"Name?"
"Kaizleigh Stylez. We have an eleven o'clock consultation."
She looked at her screen.
"Yes, Mrs. Stylez. We have you right here."
She handed me a tablet.
"There are a few forms we need both of you to complete. Once you're finished, your coordinator will come get you."
"Thank you."
Billion and I took a seat near the windows.
I started going through the questions.
Medical history. Pregnancy history. Previous fertility treatments. How many pregnancies. How many losses.
I slowed down.
Billion looked over.
"You alright?"
"Yeah."
I tapped the screen and moved to the next question. Some questions were easier to answer than others. By the time I handed the tablet back, I was ready to get the consultation over with.
A woman came through the double doors a few minutes later.
"Mr. and Mrs. Stylez?"
We stood.
She smiled and extended her hand.
"I'm Dr. Renee Carter. I'll be speaking with you today."
"It's nice to meet you," I said.
"You too. Come on back."
She led us into an office instead of an exam room, which made me feel a little better.
There was a couch, two chairs and a desk, but nothing about it felt overly medical.
Billion sat beside me.
Dr. Carter took the chair across from us and opened the folder in her lap.
"Before we get into anything, I want you both to understand that today isn't about making a decision."
I nodded.
"Today is about information. I want you to leave here understanding what gestational surrogacy looks like, what would be expected of you, what would be expected of a surrogate and what the process could look like if you decide to move forward."
"Okay."
She looked between us.
"Have either of you spoken with anyone about surrogacy before?"
"Doctors have mentioned it, but we've never actually sat down with anybody who specializes in it,” I answered.
"That's very common."
She looked down at my paperwork.
"I can see you've gone through IVF."
"Twice."
"And you have embryos remaining?"
"Yes."
That word did something to me every time I heard it.
Embryos.
Our babies sitting somewhere frozen because my body couldn't seem to do what it was supposed to do with them.
Billion reached over and took my hand.
Dr. Carter continued.
"Then gestational surrogacy may be an option for you. With gestational surrogacy, the woman carrying the pregnancy would not necessarily have a genetic relationship to the baby. An embryo created through IVF is transferred into her uterus."
I nodded.
"So our embryo."
"Correct, assuming that's the route you choose and your reproductive endocrinologist clears the embryo for transfer."
I looked at Billion. He was listening just as closely as I was.
"So she wouldn't be the mother?" I asked.
"Genetically, not if the embryo was created from your egg and your husband's sperm. Legally, there are additional steps and contracts involved, and those vary depending on the circumstances. That's why reproductive attorneys are part of the process."
I sat back.
That answered one of the questions that had been bothering me. I knew what I'd read, but hearing somebody say it directly made a difference.
"What about after she has the baby?"
Dr. Carter smiled.
"What specifically are you worried about?"
I hesitated.
"Her changing her mind."
Billion looked at me, but I kept my eyes on Dr. Carter.
"I know that probably sounds crazy."
"It doesn't."
She leaned forward slightly.
"Questions about attachment are very common. That's one reason psychological screening, legal counseling and clear agreements are so important before anyone gets to an embryo transfer."
"So everybody gets screened?" Billion asked.
"Yes. A potential gestational carrier would go through medical and psychological screening. There would also be background information reviewed, and both sides would have independent legal representation before moving forward."
He nodded.
"What about health insurance?"
"That's reviewed as well. Surrogacy-related coverage can be complicated, so the carrier's policy has to be evaluated. If it doesn't provide appropriate coverage, other arrangements may need to be made."
Billion leaned back.
"And compensation?"
I looked over at him.
He looked at me.
"What?"
"You ain't waste no time."
"We need to know."
Dr. Carter laughed.
"He's right."
"Thank you," Billion said.
"Don't start."
She smiled before continuing.
"Compensation varies. It can depend on experience, location, whether she's carried as a surrogate before and other factors. There are also expenses beyond base compensation."
"Like what?" I asked.
"Medical expenses not otherwise covered, legal fees, travel when applicable, certain pregnancy-related expenses, and other items outlined in the agreement. Every arrangement is different."
Billion nodded.
"So this ain't somebody getting one check and that's it."
"No."
"Good to know."
I looked down at my hands.
There was one question I had been trying not to ask because saying it out loud made this whole thing feel even more real.
"How do you pick her?"
Dr. Carter's expression softened.
"That's one of the biggest decisions you'll make."
"But how?"
"If you work with an agency, you'll typically review potential matches who have already gone through initial screening. You'll learn about them, their pregnancy history, why they're interested in becoming a carrier, their lifestyle and other information relevant to the process."
"So it's almost like...dating"
I tried to find the right words.
Billion looked at me.
I laughed.
"Not like that. You know what I mean."
Dr. Carter smiled.
"I've heard couples describe matching that way before. Both sides have to feel comfortable. You're entering a relationship with someone that could last well over a year by the time screening, contracts, treatment, pregnancy and recovery are included."
That made me pause.
Over a year.
I had been so focused on the pregnancy part that I hadn't really thought about everything before and after it.
"So this woman would be in our lives for a while."
"Absolutely."
"How involved are we allowed to be?"
"That's something you discuss during matching. Some intended parents attend nearly every appointment. Others have different arrangements. Communication expectations should be discussed before anyone agrees to move forward."
I looked at Billion.
He already knew what I was thinking.
"I'd want to be there."
"I know," he said.
"For everything."
"I know."
Dr. Carter smiled.
"That's exactly why matching matters. You need someone comfortable with the level of involvement you want, and she needs to be able to tell you what she needs from you as well."
I nodded slowly.