23. Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Three
Carson
Iwaited until she went to bed to come back up to the house. Maybe because I knew she’d give me all the reasons she has to leave.
None of them are good. I already know that. I don’t need to hear them.
When I saw the light coming on in her room, I figured it was time to go back. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.
I send my mom a quick message, letting her know I’m still alive.
She sends one back with every color heart emoji there is.
That’s my mom in a nutshell.
And even though I know my brother won’t answer, I send him a text too.
I’m sad our time here is coming to an end.
I’ve learned a lot about myself by taking this trip.
I always thought I needed Cole to initiate a conversation with a woman.
I thought I needed him to navigate the world.
This trip has made me realize I can do things alone.
It’s given me a small piece of my identity back.
With all of that said … I miss my brother like I’d miss my right arm if it were cut off.
There’s a faint knock at the door.
“You can come in, Luna. You don’t have to knock.”
The door eases open, and there stands my angel in her Betty Boop pajamas. It instantly brings a smile to my face.
“Can I?” she points to the bed as I’m scooting over to make room for her.
She practically runs to slide in beside me. When I wrap my arm around her and pull her close, she lets out a couple of shaky breaths. The kind you let go of after a good cry.
I was hoping she would give me her answer before we left this place. I want to land back on solid ground in the United States committed to her, and she to me.
She rests her head on my arm and stares into my eyes. “I choose you, Carson.”
Every cell in my body is doing cartwheels. Not that I doubted she would be mine. I’ve felt it in my soul ever since placing my hand on the door of her closet that day. Luna does to me what the moon does to the earth. Her gravity refuses to let me go.
She doesn’t see it clearly yet, because she’s scared.
I don’t think Luna ever planned on falling in love after her anchor, her mother, passed. She thought she was destined for a life floating around this planet all on her own.
There are things we need to face, but she won’t have to do it alone. She’ll have me and my family.
There is a whole world waiting for her back home.
“And I choose you, Luna.”
Her eyes shine with unshed tears, and she doesn’t hide the fear in them.
“What a ride we’re about to have,” I whisper, offering a smile.
“Speaking of rides, will you give me one on your bike when we get back?”
And there is the Luna I’m falling deeper in love with each day. She’s strong. She’s resilient. She’s a Rebel Skull in disguise. Much like my father describes my mother when he talks about the beginnings of their relationship.
“First thing.”
“I’m going to hold you to that.”
“I hope you do.”
She studies my face. “I’m not going to lie. I’m scared. I don’t know if …” her words fall off.
“Luna, we don’t have to have all the answers. Life will unfold them for us.”
She places her hand over my bare chest as she thinks about it, and I don’t know if she realizes how far she really is in this. We’re in bed together. Clothed, yes, but minimally. And her hand is on my skin.
I take mine and place it over hers.
“I want to be with you,” she whispers.
“I know, and I’m confident it will happen. When the time is right, for both of us. I’m in no hurry. There is no pressure. I want to be the one thing in this world that doesn’t put demands on you.”
Tears begin to roll from her eyes, and I wipe them away gently.
“How did I get so lucky to find a man like you?”
“Ah, that’s easy. You know that dragonfly hanging from your rearview mirror?”
“Yes.” Her brows pull together in curiosity as to where I’m going with this.
“There’s your answer.”
She laughs lightly. “What does a dragonfly have to do with it?”
“Well, my mother always told me that dragonflies have two sets of wings to carry angels on their backs. She told me someday one would bring me mine. It’s been guiding you this entire time, you just didn’t know it.”
“It came with the van,” she says bluntly, and I burst out laughing.
Her eyes light at the sound of it, and she smiles.
“I completely gutted the van when I got it. The dragonfly was the only thing I kept,” she admits, moving her hand from my chest to the scruff on my face.
We stay like that for a few minutes, soaking in the final quiet moments of our trip.
“I will cherish coming here with you forever,” I whisper.
“Me too,” she agrees. “But now it’s time to get back to Cole.”
I groan, wondering why she had to go and bring him up, ruining the moment.
“He messaged me tonight,” she continues.
That fucking stings. He’s ignored me this entire trip.
“He misses you, too.”
“He said that?”
“Well, not in so many words …” She grabs my face with both hands when I cut her off with the noise I make, and the roll of my eyes. “I heard it in what he did say. He’s hurting, Carson. He thinks he’s losing you. You have to show him that he’s not.”
“How do I do that?”
“You just have to continue to be there.”
“He’s pushing me away.”
“I was going to push you away tonight, but you didn’t give up.”
“I never give up on the people I love,” I say, and as the words leave my mouth, I understand what she’s saying. There is nothing I can do but show him that I’m not going anywhere.
“Funny, he said the same thing about you.”
“He and I are kind of a package deal,” I say hesitantly, because this is probably something I should have said before asking her to make a commitment to me.
“I know. I’m okay with that. Cole is part of what made you into the man I’m falling in love with.”
“That goes for all of the people in our pasts …” I let my words trail off, hoping she understands what I’m saying.
I accept that her father will also be a part of our lives.
To an extent. What he did shaped parts of her life, whether either of us likes it or not.
I can be angry about it while still embracing the vulnerable, scared parts of her he changed forever.
I can hate what created those scars without loving her any less because of them.
The way she curls into my chest tells me she understands what I’m getting at.
“Thank you for wanting me just the way I am,” she whispers against my skin.
“Thank you for choosing me,” I whisper back.
Tomorrow, when we fly home, we’ll step off that plane as Luna and Carson.
Luna and Carson.
Not Cole and Carson.
I’ll admit that it does hurt a bit …
but growth always does.