44. Chapter Forty-Four
Chapter Forty-Four
Luna
The soft thud of the basketball in the driveway draws me to the window. I open it and then sit down, resting my chin on my arms as I look out.
Carson notices immediately and waves at me.
He doesn’t have a shirt on because it’s hot out today. Believe me, I don’t mind. A shiver trails over my skin as the warm air blows inside.
My brother and the twins are playing basketball. Mila and Khloe are digging in the sandbox and Dan and Lily are sitting in it with them. My little sister keeps dumping sand on Dan’s big feet, and he pretends he can’t get away.
Her giggle wafts on the breeze, begging me to go out and join them.
My attention drifts toward the back of the house where the garden lies. It’s not visible from here, but I know it’s there. I’m scared to go out and see it. Doubly scared to go back to the cabin.
I return to watching Cole and Carson kick my brother’s ass. It’s kind of funny. You can tell they’ve played together a lot. They’re so in sync in their movements.
Eventually, I make my way downstairs for a snack. I grab an apple but instead of heading to my sanctuary, I stand at the back door. Slowly I push the curtain aside and look out.
When Carson jogs around the corner, I jump a foot, startled.
He swings the door open. “Oh, there you are. You left the window …” He stops when he notices the look on my face.
He closes the door and takes my hand.
“He’s not there, Luna. My dad saved you.”
“I knew he would,” I whisper.
“Do you want to go outside?” he asks.
“I do, but …”
“I’ll be with you every step of the way,” he encourages.
I let him open the door, but I don’t know if I’m ready to leave the comfort of his parents’ home.
He crosses the threshold and then holds his hand out to me.
“Your brother could use some help. Cole and I are just kicking his ass.”
“I know, I saw.” I laugh lightly, rubbing my temple, but then I decide to accept his offer.
He leads me around the side of the house, joking about how he’s the better ball handler between him and his brother.
Cole hears us. “Fuck if he is. Come here, Luna, look at this.” He puts the basketball on his finger and spins it.
It makes me smile, and then he tosses it to me. “Now have him do it.”
Carson winks at me, because he knows I can do it too. It came up in one of the many conversations we had in Ireland.
“If it’s a competition, shouldn’t it be you against me? You and Carson are on the same side.”
“Oh, so you’re on Rage’s team now?” Cole asks.
“I guess I am,” I say, spinning the ball on the tip of my finger.
A few minutes later, it’s still going.
Cole waves me away. “Okay. Okay. I get it. Let’s fucking play ball.”
So we do, and even though my brother and I suck, I’ve never had so much fun.
After a while, my sister and Khloe join us. The guys lift the girls high in the air, letting them make all the baskets.
It’s the cutest thing in the world.
Later in the evening, Dan and my brother grill for everyone and we sit out back on the patio. The girls and the twins are playing hide and seek out in the sunflowers while Lily and I work on a bottle of wine.
“I’ve had the best time the past few days,” she tells me while also signing it.
The words she doesn’t know she spells out, and that is perfectly fine.
She’s picking it up quickly. It helps when everyone around her is also using it regularly now.
Cole still struggles, but as soon as I’m home, I’ll get to work on it with him.
The thought makes me choke on my wine.
I cough and Lily leans over to pat me on the back. “I’m okay. It just went down the wrong pipe.”
“You were thinking about something.”
“Yeah.” I pick at my nails because I’m finding fewer and fewer reasons to stay.
I mean, I’ll always love it here, but the cabin, the stream, my rocks, they’re all calling out to me.
“I’d been giving Cole private lessons, but I’ve been neglecting him.
He’s falling behind. I need to get back to teaching him. ”
Her eyes widen in surprise. “I didn’t know you had been giving him private lessons.”
“No one but Carson knew. I didn’t want to embarrass him. He seemed insecure about it all.”
“It’s always takes him a little longer to grasp things, but he’ll eventually get there.”
“I know he will.” Because I do. I’ll make sure of it. Lily and he both deserve to be able to communicate with one another easily.
“You were thinking about going home,” she says quietly so that no one else can hear.
“Yeah.”
“Luna, Dan and I have said that you can stay as long as you need. If that need has been met, then by all means don’t feel obligated to stay. I’m enjoying having you and the boys here, but I also enjoy my peace and quiet,” she says, smiling kindly.
“Thank you, but I’m not sure I’m ready yet.”
“You’ll know when the time is right.”
I nod.
We all sit together and eat outside and it’s the most wonderful meal I’ve had in a long time. The food tastes amazing, the temperature is just right, and the birds are singing.
My mom would have loved it here. She loved birds. Actually, all winged creatures.
I stand from my chair, walk a ways down by the trees, and lower myself onto the grass. Then I close my eyes.
A few minutes later, Cole sits down beside me. “Whatcha doin?”
“Shh,” I tell him, keeping my eyes closed.
He plucks at the grass, but he doesn’t make a peep … until he does. “Are you doing that thing?”
“What thing?”
“You know that listening for the birds thing you used to do with your mom?”
“Carson told you?”
“No. I read it in your travel journal. You left it in my room.”
My mouth falls open. I’d forgotten all about it.
“I’m sorry if it was private.”
“No. I had it with me because I was going to give it to your grandfather. He’s planning a trip to Ireland with your grandmother.”
Cole raises his eyebrows. “Um, no offense but I don’t think you want Grandpa reading that.”
“Why not?” Cole has a way of ruffling my feathers.
“It was, I don’t know, mushy. Like not in a bad way, but I don’t know if Grandpa wants a breakdown of how good Carson looks in the fog, and the rain, and the sun.”
“Okay, okay, I get it. I’ll write him an itinerary instead. I didn’t realize I had written any personal stuff in there.”
“It’s quite beautiful, actually.”
I look at him like he has two heads. This doesn’t seem like Cole.
“I wish I had answered his calls, his texts …”
“His emails,” I finish for him. Carson tried everything to reach out to him.
“I know. I was a piece of shit.”
“I wouldn’t say that. It just took you a little longer to see how amazing I am,” I joke.
He looks down the road back to where his cabin is. “I want you to come home,” he says, ignoring my joke. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a dick.”
“You were just worried about your brother. I get it.”
“Yes and no. I was mostly worried about my own ass.”
Mila and Khloe run toward us and hand us both a sunflower.
“Aw, thank you,” I tell them. They giggle as they run away.
“I’ve been worried about my own ass too,” I tell him. “Chance and my sister didn’t deserve the cold shoulder I’d been giving them either.”
Neither of us tries to make the other feel better about our shortcomings. We just sit quietly, listening.
And when the last bird calls, we turn and smile at each other.
“Do you get up early and listen for the first bird?” he asks.
I laugh out loud, and everyone pauses to look over at us. “Now that’s something I’ve never thought to do.”
“I do it sometimes, when I can’t sleep at night, and the birds start chirping. It never makes me feel very good, because I know I’ve basically lost an entire night of sleep.”
Instantly, I want to help him.
He points at me. “Naw, see what you’re doing right there. There’s no problem for you to fix. But if you ever hear me up at night, I’ll never turn down having company.”
I nod.
“I’ll remember that.”