45. Chapter Forty-Five
Chapter Forty-Five
Carson
Itry not to read too much into it, but Cole and Luna are talking. Hopefully she’s not annoyed by him. She’s trying to listen for the last bird.
When she tips her head back and laughs, I can’t stop smiling. I want so badly for Cole to see the good in her, and vice versa. They are my two favorite people.
“She’s made some pretty big strides the past couple of days,” Rage says, handing me a beer. “I wish I was closer to her.”
He laughs when he sees the look on my face.
“I’m not asking you to move back to Cheyenne,” he assures me
“It’s nice there but …”
“But it’s not home.”
I shake my head. “No. It’s not home. It taught me a lot, though. And if it hadn’t been for Cheyenne, I’d never have met your sister.”
Rage’s brows pull together. “If you and your brother hadn’t run off from my wedding …”
“But we did, and she’s safe. I can assure you, brother. I’ll never let my guard down again.”
“That’s good, but just remember, we can’t protect our women from everything. Sometimes shit happens that is out of our control.” He looks at my dad. “Just like that shit your dad is facing with your mom. You watch him. He’s the example we should both set for ourselves.”
“I do every day.”
Luna walks over with Cole. She hangs back, letting him do the talking. “Luna was wondering if you guys wanted to go for a walk.”
He looks at Mom. “Can you watch Mila while we go for a quick stroll?”
“Of course. The girls and I are going inside. I’ll give them their baths and then we’ll make some cookies.”
“Hell yeah. Fresh baked cookies,” Cole says, looking at us.
Luna and I lock eyes. She’s nervous, but she’s making a move, and that’s all I can ask.
She takes my hand and we head out back. Rage and Cole do their best to distract her as we make our way toward the cabin.
“So this is your van?” Rage asks. He shakes his head, and I know what he’s thinking. It might be time to retire the old girl.
Luna opens the door and looks inside before moving out of the way so that he can have a look. “Did you do all this yourself?” he asks.
“Yep.” She looks toward the cabin.
“Do you want to go inside?” I ask her.
Cole bounces on his toes. He’s excited for her to see what he’s done.
“Yeah, sure. While I’m here, I should grab a few things.”
My brother has been walking over here every day filling the flower vases in hopes that it would be the day she’d finally come home. In fact, his optimism has been what’s kept me going. And here she is. Today is the day.
She pauses on the steps, but after a deep breath she continues up them.
Cole opens the door and steps in first, followed by Luna and me, and then Rage.
Luna and Rage both stop inside the doorway, mouths dropping open.
“Are these?” Rage steps forward, reaching up and tapping a paper bird hanging from the ceiling with fishing line. “You kept them?”
Luna walks further into the living room. She spins in a circle under all of the brightly colored paper origami creations above her. “I kept every one of them.”
Her eyes fill with tears when she notices all of the flowers sitting around the cabin. She rushes to the kitchen window and spins the dragonfly crystal now hanging there. The one that had been on her rearview mirror.
Cole tried to incorporate her into our space. He said he wasn’t going to let Tim be the memory that stuck out to her.
By the way she’s smiling, I think it worked.
Rage is still looking at the origami he created for her all those years ago as she hid in the closet. I think he’s surprised she held onto them.
“Oh, my gosh, you guys, this is …” She spins again, dancing in the rainbows littering the floor. “This is perfect.”
Cole sticks his hands in his pockets and looks at me. I know he did this for her, but he did it for me too. I give him a little nod to let him know he did good.
Everything that happened between us is water under the bridge.
When people say today is a new day, I’ve never really understood it. Isn’t every day a new day? Now I understand that phrase a bit more.
Life has changed, and I’m sure it will continue to do so, but today is the start of a new chapter and I’m so fucking excited to see where it leads me … us.
She gives me a big hug, but I tell her all the credit for this gesture goes to Cole, so she gives him a hug too.
He’s shy about it, which is new for him.
“I’m just going to go grab a few things,” she says when she pulls away from him. “Then I’ll be ready to go. I don’t want us to miss those warm cookies coming out of the oven.”
Cole instantly perks up. “Shit, yeah, hurry up,” he says, pushing her toward the hallway.
“You guys can go on without us. We’ll meet you back at the house,” I tell them, following her to our room.
Luna stands in front of the closet, staring without seeing.
I walk up behind her. “Are you doing okay?”
“Yeah,” she says, wiping her eyes. “I’m just a little struck by being back here. I had just hung these, and then went outside …”
I rub my hands down her arms, and she falls back against me, letting me take her weight.
My chin rests on her head, while I hug her.
“I think it needed to happen. It forced me to run toward something instead of just away from it. I’ve never done that before. I’ve been running and running with no real destination.”
“What were you running toward?” I ask.
“Your dad, the path, the flowers, everything my mother pointed me to, but I realize now that when she told me to run, it wasn’t from Tim.
It was from myself. I’d been holding myself back.
I thought being on the road had healed me, and it had …
to an extent. But I’d never had anything to show me which wounds were still there. ”
“Well, I’m glad you’re here so we can pick on you.”
She laughs and turns in my arms. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”
“I chose you, remember? I’ll never give up on us. I can promise you that.” I lean down and place a soft kiss on the side of her mouth, and she responds by not letting me retreat. She reaches up and places her hand on the back of my neck, tugging me closer.
Luna kisses me back, and I don’t know if I’m just getting my hopes up or if something has changed, but it feels different. Her body is soft against mine. She’s even more relaxed than she was when we were in Ireland.
When she pulls away, she smiles. “Thank you for choosing me.”
She glances around the room. “I think I’m ready to go back now.”
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed. In my mind I knew she wouldn’t want to stay here tonight, but part of me hoped it was a possibility.
We walk hand in hand back to my parents’ house.
“I love that Mila thinks of them as her grandparents. It’s all so strange yet wonderful how our lives have been connected by a string for longer than you and I have known each other.”
“It is.”
She pulls me to a stop before we round the bend. She closes her eyes, listening to the girls’ giggles. My dad’s uproarious laughter. The crackle of the fire Rage has no doubt built for them.
Her head tips back and she takes a deep breath, inhaling the scent of flowers and smoke.
“I don’t want to forget this moment,” she says.
The stars begin to emerge. They shine brightly against her dark eyes as she continues to look heavenward.
“Me either,” I say.
She looks at me, and peace settles over both of us.
“I’m so glad I chose you … this.”
She smiles.
That alone is enough for me.