Chapter Seventeen
Harley
“I can't believe I got to meet Harley Thorne,” the words burst from the young girl in front of me. “I love you so much. I know your every song. You are my hero.”
I barely managed to muster a smile to those kind words.
Usually, I enjoyed meeting my fans, giving them a moment of my time, letting them know I truly appreciated their support. But the last few days, I didn't have the patience or will to interact with them.
I was positive that coming back on tour was a good decision. To let fans know I would not abandon them. That all changed last week when the label pulled Carter as my security.
He came to me almost every night, holding me in his arms the length of it, but it wasn’t the same.
Without him following me, making sure I was safe, I became suspicious of every person I came in contact with.
I got jumpy at the barest sound. And I was beyond tired.
The girl frowned when I didn’t utter a single word to her, “What’s wrong?”
Cassie jumped in before I had a chance to assure the young fan everything was fine, “Harley has to save her voice for the show.”
At the warm smile from the girl, she raised her voice above the murmurs of excited fans, “In fact, she needs to go and prepare for it. Thank you very much for being here tonight, and for supporting our Harley. We hope you'll enjoy the show. See you all out there.”
She grabbed my arm and pulled me from the room.
Looking back, I locked eyes with the girl whose face had fallen in disappointment and mouthed, “Thank you.”
Cassie guided me to my dressing room. She pulled me inside and closed the door. I turned and watched her as she stood there for a few moments, her mouth opening and closing, like she couldn’t pick the right words to say.
Then her eyes lifted to mine, “I’m worried about you.”
My heart squeezed, “I’m fine.”
She shook her head, “No. You’re not,” she crossed the room to the trunk that held my clothes, and picked up the newspaper. “And I’m not the only one who noticed.”
She handed me the paper. There in black bold letters stood, Burnout or Breakdown?
Shit.
I scanned the article, but gave up on reading it, and tossed the paper on the couch.
“The fans can see it too,” Cassie’s words were soft, full of concern.
“I’m okay,” I said softly, not able to meet her eyes. “I’m just tired. Since Carter’s been pulled, I can't help it but to look at people differently. I think everyone could be the person behind what happened.”
Saliva pooled in my mouth, and I had difficulty swallowing. “I’m scared. Without him by my side, I don’t feel safe.”
“But, you have a new security team. I was told this one was as good as Carter’s, even better.”
My gaze flicked to Cassie’s, “It’s not the same. They don’t listen to me. They don’t even talk to me. I don’t know,” I shrugged. “It was different with Carter.”
I felt like I was missing an integral part of me.
It was silly. Carter has been by my side almost every night. There were a few he wasn’t with me because he was chasing leads that could possibly end this situation I found myself in, but for the most of them, he was there.
Cassie tilted her head, “How are things between you two? When you got back, you looked pretty loved up.”
My mouth curved, “You want to talk about my love life?”
“Isn’t that what friends are for?”
I laughed. It felt like I hadn’t laughed in years, the sound was rusty. But it felt good. “You’re right. And it’s good.”
Cassie frowned, “But he’s not around.”
I looked at a woman who had been by my side for two years.
A woman who knew my life better than I did.
She was right, she was more than just my assistant, she was my friend.
“He’s around. Just not at the venues since Frank banned him.
But he’s been staying with me almost every night.
” I swallowed before admitting, “Those are the only moments I feel safe. With him, I feel whole.”
Cassie’s expression softened, “I love that for you.”
She clapped her hands, making me jump, “Okay, we need to get the glam people in here, and you need to prepare for the show, so we can get you back to your hunk of a man.”
“Cass,” I called. When she turned back to me, I promised, “I’ll do better. I’ll put on my big girl panties and do the job I’m supposed to do.”
She strode to me, and pulled me into her arms, “Oh, babe, you just do you. Leave the worrying to Tim and me. We’ll take care of everything. You just go out there and have a great show.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat, “Thanks.”
***
“HAR-LEY! HAR-LEY! HAR-LEY!”
I threw my head back and laughed.
“Thank you so much for being such a great audience, you guys.” I said into the mic. “This was the best show we had in a while.”
I turned and glanced at my band, “Isn’t that right guys?”
A chorus of Yes, and Hell yeah, boomed from the speakers as each member said the words.
The deafening wall of the crowd’s roar hit me, making my blood vibrate and my soul smile.
“I can’t tell you how much I missed this. This month of being away from you, drained me. Thank you for giving me my strength back, and filling my whole being with love,” I put the mic back on its stand and picked up the guitar.
It was the one Carter gave me that first day we were in the cabin.
Before we left, I asked if I could borrow it. I couldn’t leave it behind. Not after the music I wrote on it.
And this way, I had a part of him with me.
His eyes had gone gentle, and he kissed me softly, “You can keep it. I like knowing that something of mine helps you find your joy.”
I decided then and there that that guitar would always be by my side.
I leaned closer to the mic, and murmured, “I know we usually close the show with a cover. But tonight, I thought I would sing you a song I wrote for someone special to me.”
The roar of the crowd was ear piercing but it quieted down the moment I played the first few notes.
I let the feeling of missing Carter fill me, swallow me whole as I sang the song I wrote that first week we were together, holed up in that hotel.
A song that said he wasn’t seeing me.
How stupid I was.
As the ballad flowed from my heart and mouth and into the universe, I flicked my gaze to the wings of the stage, half expecting him to stand there with his arms crossed over his chest, and a scowl on his face.
But he wasn’t there.
He was away chasing a lead.
I sang the last few words with my eyes closed, remembering Carter as he was lying in bed with me, holding me, whispering nonsense in my ear.
But, the song was over and it was time to go to an empty hotel room.
“Thank you,” my words echoed as the venue went black.
An arm gripped my elbow, “Let’s go.”
I looked up to see the new security guy holding onto me, and pulling me from the stage, flashlight gripped in his hand to light our way, and out of the venue.
“I’m coming,” I snapped.
The moment I was behind the closed doors of a car my phone rang.
A smile split my face as I pulled it out of the bag next to me on the seat and saw Carter’s name flashing on the screen, his scowling face illuminated with the ringing.
“Hey,” I rasped into the phone.
“Hey, Dynamo,” his voice sent shivers down my spine, even over the phone. “You sound tired.”
I chuckled, “It’s just wear and tear on my vocal cords after a two hour show.”
“I heard you sang for me tonight.”
I tipped my head, “And how could you possibly know that? You weren’t even there.”
He chuckled, “I have my ways.”
Something released inside me knowing that even though he couldn’t physically be with me, he still made sure I was safe.
“I miss you, Warden” I whispered looking down at my lap. “It didn’t feel right playing without you there. I sang that song, just so I could feel you with me.”
“I’m always with you, Dynamo.” he said softly. “Besides, I’ll be back in two days.”
I frowned, “That just means I have to sleep in an empty bed for two more nights.”
Carter laughed, the sound tickling my eardrum. I could picture him in my mind as he threw his head back, while the butterflies on his neck fluttered their wings with his hilarity.
“Jerk,” I grumbled, not really meaning the words.
He sobered up after a few beats.
“I want you to be extra careful these next two days. Trevor’s with me, and Max had to go back home so couldn’t stay.”
“Yeah, these new guys aren’t really friendly. They just haul me where I need to be without any pleasantries.”
"They're good at what they do,” he assured me. “But I still want you to keep your eyes out. Better safe than sorry.”
The car came to a stop in front of the hotel.
“We’re here,” I murmured as my new bodyguard opened my door.
At least Trevor was friendly and chatted with me about superficial stuff, and his hometown.
There was a curious glint in his eye when I asked if he had a girl back home, but he kept his mouth shut.
But, now I didn’t even have his hulking form to tease.
“Okay, I’ll let you go,” Carter sighed. “Text me when you get to your room, and before you go to sleep. I don’t care how late it’s going to be. I want to say goodnight to you.”
“I will,” I smiled as I walked across the lobby.
Those three words were on the tip of my tongue. It would be so easy to say them, so natural. Like breathing.
Still I swallowed them down. I wasn’t sure Carter was ready to hear them yet. I still got the glimpse of fear in his cognac eyes when he looked at me. And I didn’t want my admission to send him to the hills.
“Talk later, Dynamo.”
“Bye, Warden,” I sing-songed.
All I could think about in bed later that night was how I wished Carter was here.
After my shower, I sat down on the bed and words spilled from me.
Words that made even me cry. I checked every window and lock twice.
I even spied the muscle standing in front of my room’s door through a peephole for a minute or two, just to make sure I wasn’t all alone.
Despite all of that, I never felt lonelier.
Pressure built in my eyes until I couldn’t hold it back anymore and tears spilled trailing down the sides of my face.
My whole life I was alone. No one beside me. I was honestly scared that that would be how my life was going to look like. Then I met him. And everything changed.
I had Carter.
At the thought, I reached to my bedside table and pressed his contact.
He answered on the first ring, “You in bed?”
“Yes,” I hiccupped.
“What’s wrong?” I could hear the panic in his voice.
“Nothing,” I hurried to assure him. “I’m fine. I just miss you.”
“I’ll be back before you know it,” there was still strain in his voice.
“Promise me,” I whispered brokenly.
“I promise, Dynamo.”