Chapter Eighteen
Harley
I heard footsteps behind me, “Harley, wait.”
I turned and came face to face with Tim.
“Hey, is everything all right?”
Usually when Tim sought me out it meant something happened.
"Everything's fine,” he frowned. “I just wanted to check in with you.”
“Oh,” I relaxed, not knowing what else to say.
He didn’t usually come to just chat with me.
He was always focused on work. On what I should do next.
I tried teasing him, or giving him shit just to see if he would crack, and he would grumble but stayed focused, but that was it.
We weren’t exactly friends. So for him to coming out of his way just to see how I was, was out of character.
And it honestly felt weird.
It put me on edge.
He eyed me, “How are you?”
“I’m fine,” I lied.
I wasn’t fine. Carter should have been back with me last night, but he still had some things to take care of. And I missed him like crazy.
I knew he had a business to take care of, and he was chasing leads left and right with this situation I found myself in, but I couldn’t help it. I wanted to be with him every second I could.
Tim eyed me skeptically, “Do you need something? Should I book you for a spa? You looked stressed last night during the show.”
“Well, I am on tour,” I shrugged. Looking rough and feeling exhausted kind of went with the territory. “But, I’ll be all right.”
“Sure?” Tim pressed.
“Yes.”
I fought rolling my eyes.
I expected Tim to nod his head and go around bossing people up, but he shifted on his feet looking this way and that.
My brows creased, “Are you okay, Tim? You look a little jumpy.”
“Me,” he jerked. “Yes, I’m fine. I just-” he swallowed. “I wanted to ask you about things with you and Carter. I know Frank banned him, but just say the words and I’ll sneak him in so you could at least spend some time together. Touring can be rough on any relationship, and especially a new one.”
I smiled, “We’re great. Besides, he’s away on some work assignment. But I’ll see him soon.”
I wasn’t about to tell my tour manager that I was sneaking a man into my hotel room every chance I got.
“Sure, sure,” he nodded , not looking convinced.
I waited for Tim to say or do something. He just stood there, fidgeting like crazy.
“Was there something else you needed?”
“You guys seemed intense when you got back.”
I watched Tim for a few beats. We weren’t close.
Sure, we spent a lot of time together, but we didn’t share any personal stuff.
Just talked about the job. And with him working with me, I felt like this was crossing a line.
But, I could see concern on his face, and I couldn’t help but to feel grateful to have people looking out for me.
“Well, we were in a pretty extreme situation, and emotions were heightened. When it’s like that,” I shrugged. “I don’t know what to tell you. He just gets me. He accepts me the way I am. All of me. And he doesn’t expect anything from me. Just me. It’s refreshing.”
Tim scratched his chin, “But do you think being with him is a good idea? I don’t even want to think what the press will say once it goes public.”
I bit the inside of my cheek so I wouldn’t lash out at Tim. I understood his point of view. Everything depended on my image. But for the life of me, I couldn’t see why dating Carter would damage it. Especially since all my songs revolved around romance in a way.
I took a breath, and said softly, trying not to scream at him even though I really wanted to, “I don’t think that loving Carter is going to change the course of my career. In fact, I think the fans are going to love him.”
“But he was your bodyguard,” Tim frowned like he thought Carter was somehow beneath me.
“Yes,” I smiled. “Just think about how people will cheer us on once they find out we’re the real life version of Whitney Huston and Kevin Costner. I’m telling you, the sales will go through the roof.”
I hated that I had to look at that angle to get Tim to see that this relationship was good for me.
I didn’t care what it could do for my career. All I cared about was Carter and how he was with me.
How he looked at me.
How he made me feel.
And he made me feel precious.
Tim’s eyes twinkled, “That’s right. I completely forgot about that.”
He got lost in thought for a moment then snapped his fingers, “Once this whole ordeal is over, we’ll organize some party, then we can fake the two of you getting caught as you sneak out of the party.”
Everything in me stopped.
“No,” I snapped.
I grabbed his forearm and stared at him.
“We are not ever going to be exploiting my relationship with Carter. For any reason. We’re also never going to force him to step into the public eye.
Not if he doesn't choose to do it himself. You’re not even going to mention this ludicrous idea of yours to anyone. ”
“But-” Tim stuttered.
“Do you hear me Tim?”
“It’s just-” he tried to explain himself, but I cut him off.
“This is mine. Carter is mine. And only mine.”
He looked at me. His eyes shifted, as if he was searching for something in mine. I made sure whatever he saw was how serious I was.
I don’t think I even blinked.
“I hear you,” Tim mumbled. “But are you sure he wouldn’t do it?”
I was positive if I asked Carter, he would go to the ends of the World for me. But I was never going to ask.
“He has a job that requires privacy and sometimes even secrecy. You are not going to blow everything he worked for to smithereens just to make a few extra bucks. And I’m telling you now, Tim, if you even think about going against what I just said, I’ll leave and never come back.
None of you will ever receive even a line from me, let alone a whole song. ”
Tim’s eyes widened, “You would walk away from this just to be with him?”
“From everything you worked for?” He gasped.
“Yes,” I said without a flicker of hesitation.
Tim flinched like I slapped him.
“I’m sorry, Harley,” he rubbed his forehead, and when he looked into my eyes I could see remorse swimming in them.
“I got carried away. We’re all under stress to get everything right, and with this shit swirling around us, it’s getting a little crazy.
I just want the best for you. I want you to thrive. ”
I took pity on him, “I know. But this is one thing you’ll leave alone.”
“Okay,” he said. “I am sorry, though.”
I wasn’t sure if he was sorry because he seriously stepped over the line trying to exploit the most private part of my life, or if he thought he was missing a golden opportunity. But looking at his forlorn face, I took pity on him, “It’s okay. We won’t mention it again. Okay?”
He nodded, “Are there any new leads? Any new suspects?”
“I honestly don’t know, Tim. I didn’t ask for details.
I know he didn’t give up, and is doing anything he can to keep me safe, even from a distance.
That’s all I need to know.” Carter wanted to tell me, to fill me in on everything.
It was my decision not to know. It made me jumpy and suspicious of everyone, and I didn’t want to have to put walls to hide behind while I was with my fans.
I was already giving them a version of me, not the real me.
I felt if I took another step back to create even more distance between us, I would sever that fragile cord and I would lose them.
It didn’t matter in the end. While Carter was away, I couldn’t help but constantly look over my shoulder expecting someone to jump me at any given moment.
“Is there something else you want to know?” I was over this whole conversation.
Tim cleared his throat, “No, no that’s all.” He shook his head, before sliding into business mode, “Don’t forget you have that radio interview in half an hour. And then you need to get ready for the cover shoot. Cassie’s got all the details.”
I relaxed. Finally we were back to familiar grounds. This was the Tim I knew.
“Ugh,” I threw my head back. “Why did I let you talk me into a cover shoot for a fashion magazine. I don’t know anything about fashion. My haute couture consists of washed out jeans, tank tops, and a jean jacket.”
“Because you know it’s good for you and your brand.”
I rolled my eyes, “Yeah, yeah.”
I turned and opened the door to my room, “Just be ready in half an hour. As soon as the interview’s over, the car will take you to the location.”
I saluted Tim as I entered my room, “Yes, sir.”
I could hear him muttering as he headed down the hall, “Smartass.”
A laugh bubbled out of me.
It felt good. I could feel all the stress leaving my body. And to know that I could have a serious conversation in one moment, then give Tim shit in the next served as a reminder that we were all in this together, and that he had my back no matter what. Even if he did go about it in the wrong way.
Sure, he sometimes strained from the path, but I was able to pull him right back on track.
Sometimes it was good for the soul to mess with Tim. I needed to remember that.
I was still chuckling softly as I got deeper inside the room.
There on the table a cream long box stood. It was wrapped with a dusty pink bow. And on top of it, a white small envelope stood.
Carter.
That was my first thought as I walked over to it and picked up the envelope.
I pulled the note out, and read the words written on the stocky card.
You’re not alone. I’m closer than you think.
A smile stretched my face.
He was coming back to me.
Last night when he called me to tell me he wouldn’t be able to come just yet, I broke down and admitted that without him I felt completely alone.
I was getting tired of being shuffled from place to place like I was an object.
The strain of a full day and then playing almost every night was getting to me.
And at the end of the day I was getting back to an empty and cold room.
After hearing my soft admission, Carter promised he would do anything humanly possible to get back to me as soon as he could.
There wasn’t even a trace of doubt in me that he would do as he said, but I didn’t think he would get back this soon.
Giddy to reveal the present he sent to me, I put the card on the table next to the box.
I flipped the lid off, expecting flowers.
Peering inside, I frowned.
At first I couldn’t understand what I was looking at.
But soon, I was able to focus.
“Oh, my God,” I gasped and took three steps away from the table and that box, my hand raised as if I could somehow ward it off. I felt like it would strike at any given moment.
It was full to the brim with pictures.
Pictures of me sleeping, changing clothes, walking through the backstage. There were even pictures of me with Carter.
Intimate ones. Of him kissing me.
Bile surged up my throat, and I started shaking.
I looked around the room, but couldn’t decide where to go.
My phone buzzed in my back pocket and spurred me into action.
I ran across the room to my bedroom.
There I picked up the first thing I could get my hands on that I could use as a weapon, and I darted into the bathroom, slamming and locking the door behind me.
My heart hammered in my chest, my hands started to sweat, and I couldn’t take a full breath.
I crouched in the corner furthest from the door.
Checking the phone, I swiped away the notification alert for the radio interview.
Pressing my thumb against the screen I tried to unlock it.
Fingerprint doesn’t match. The phone buzzed.
“No, work damnit,” I snapped at the phone trying again.
It took four tries, but mercifully I got it to unlock.
I went into contacts and pressed the only name that swirled in my head. Bringing the phone up to my ear, I listened to the ring sound the whole time whispering over and over my plea, “Please… please come.”