Chapter Nine
Eliza
The heavy manila envelope of medical reports sat in my lap, each page filled with terminology I barely understood, blurring together after two weeks of endless appointments.
I held the last report in my hand, not having looked at it.
I hadn’t put it in the envelope along with everything else.
I rubbed my eyes, the lighting in the doctor’s office waiting room burning patterns into my vision whenever I blinked.
Beside me, Lily leaned against my shoulder.
She’d been able to lose the sling but I could tell she still moved gingerly sometimes.
Either it still hurt her or she was afraid it would hurt.
I thought it was the latter since when she didn’t think about it, she moved normally.
She clutched Mr. Flopsy with a grip she’d barely loosened all day.
“Mommy, can we go home soon?” Lily whispered, her voice small and tired. She looked up at me with big eyes. My my heart clenched to see the dark circles beneath them, a testament to the exhaustion she tried so hard to hide.
“Soon, baby,” I promised, running my fingers through her hair. “Dr. Brennan wants to talk to us about your pictures, remember?” I forced brightness into my voice I didn’t feel.
Lily nodded and returned to her quiet contemplation of Mr. Flopsy’s worn ears.
I returned my attention to the papers, flipping through the bone density scan results for the third time.
Words like “significantly decreased bone mineral density” and “consistent with Type I Osteogenesis Imperfecta” jumped out at me.
The diagnosis we’d waited years for, the validation I’d desperately sought, now stared back at me in clinical black and white.
Relief mingled with a new kind of fear. We finally had answers, but they opened the door to a lifetime of careful management and worry.
A soft ping echoed through the space as the elevator doors slid open. I didn’t look up immediately, assuming it was another tired parent or medical staff finishing their shift. It wasn’t until Lily shifted against my leg I raised my head.
My heart stopped.
Asher Hudson stood just outside the elevator, his body rigid as his eyes locked with mine across the corridor.
The Kiss of Death MC cut hung on his frame, looking too large for his body.
On one shoulder was his name. On the other, the word “Prospect.” Prison had thinned him down, his cheekbones sharper than I remembered, his already lean build now bordering on gaunt.
His beard was new, neatly trimmed but still strange on a face I once knew by heart.
Two years since I’d seen him. Two years of silence while I navigated Lily’s medical mysteries alone. Two years of explaining to our daughter why Daddy couldn’t come home.
“Mommy? Who’s that?” Lily asked, straightening up to peer at Ash with undisguised curiosity.
She didn’t recognize him but knew she should.
She just didn’t know how to verbalize her thoughts.
I knew the feeling well. The realization hit me like a physical blow.
The last time she’d seen him, she was just four years old.
“That’s…” The words stuck in my throat. What was he to her now? To us?
My arm moved instinctively around Lily’s shoulders, drawing her closer to my side.
I felt my body tensing, preparing for a confrontation I wasn’t emotionally equipped to handle after the day we’d had.
The manila envelope clutched in my white-knuckled grip represented everything I’d fought for alone, every battle I’d waged without him.
Ash took a hesitant step forward, then another. His gaze never left mine, but I saw it flicker briefly to Lily, something painful crossing his features. Did he see the same changes I noticed every day, the way her face was losing its babyish roundness?
“Eliza,” he said, my name barely audible from where he stood. His voice sounded rougher than I remembered, as if he hadn’t used it much lately.
Lily looked between us, confusion evident in her small frown. She pressed herself against my side, sensing my tension. I pulled her even closer.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, my voice coming out harder than I intended. The surprise of seeing him had pushed aside my exhaustion, adrenaline now coursing through me.
Ash took another step toward us, his movements slow and careful, like he was approaching a wild animal he thought might bolt. He wasn’t wrong. Why hadn’t I let Lana or Lavender come with me? Then I wouldn’t have to face Asher alone.
“CPS called me,” he said, stopping a few feet away. “Something about” -- his eyes drifted to Lily --”allegations. I didn’t know you’d been staying at Haven.”
“I didn’t know you were at Kiss of Death.”
“I wasn’t supposed to get out but after CPS called the prison and talked with me, the next thing I know, Knuckles came to visit and I left with a probation packet and Knuckles and Tiny.”
“And you came here? Now?” I asked, unable to keep the bitterness from my voice. “Now you show up?”
Asher flinched, his eyes dropping briefly before returning to meet mine. “I just got out two days ago. Knuckles sent someone to bring me to Kiss of Death and just told me today.”
“Must have looked up her birth certificate,” I muttered, my heart pounding in my chest. This was all kinds of bad. Not because Asher was a bad person. He just made horrible choices, and I knew I couldn’t have those kinds of bad decisions in my life with a young child to take care of.
The timing made a sick kind of sense. I’d been at Haven less than a month. While one part of the Kiss of Death MC had been helping us, another had been bringing Lily’s father back into our lives. The irony wasn’t lost on me.
“The second I got out, that lady lawyer, Ms. Thompson, called Knuckles and she spoke with me.”
Lily shifted against me, her small hand clutching the hem of my shirt. I glanced down to find her watching Ash with a mixture of wariness and curiosity.
“Lily,” Ash breathed, and the sound of her name in his voice sent a shock of complicated emotions through me. The love was still there, but it was tangled with hurt and anger I wasn’t prepared to unravel.
Ash took another step forward, and I noticed the slight tremor in his hands. Behind the hardened exterior prison had given him, I could still see traces of the man who had once promised to protect us both. The man who had run headlong to willingly put himself in a position to not protect us.
“Stay there,” I said quietly but firmly. I didn’t want him any closer until I understood why he was here, what CPS had told him, and what he wanted.
He stopped immediately, respecting the boundary. His eyes moved from me to Lily and back again, drinking in the sight of us as if he might never see us again. The desperation in his gaze made something inside me soften. Just a little.
“We should talk,” he said, his voice rough with emotion. “About everything.”
I nodded slowly, not trusting myself to speak. The medical files in my lap represented one battle finally nearing resolution. But Ash’s sudden reappearance promised another fight entirely, one I wasn’t sure I had the strength for.
The silence stretched between us, thick with unspoken accusations.
I stood slowly, keeping Lily close to my side, the medical files clutched tightly in my free hand.
Two years of single motherhood, of explaining to Lily why her father couldn’t come home, of handling every emergency room visit and tearful night alone, all compressed into this moment.
The truth was, though I knew Ash cared about us, he always had another priority.
The next big thing. I knew he loved Lily.
Though we’d been together, Ash had never loved me, and I’d never loved him.
Ash remained where I’d told him to stop, his body unnaturally still, like he was afraid I’d send him away. Which I was seriously considering.
“We can sit,” I finally said, gesturing to the chairs farthest from the few people in the lobby. Privacy was an illusion in hospitals, but we could at least attempt it.
Ash nodded, following as I guided Lily to the corner seating area.
He kept a careful distance, his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans, shoulders hunched forward.
Prison had taught him to take up less space, to make himself invisible.
The Ash I remembered had moved with easy confidence, hands always in motion as he talked.
This man was a shadow of who I remembered. More contained and watchful.
“CPS contacted me,” he said once we sat, his voice low enough it wouldn’t carry. “They told me Lily had multiple broken bones over the past couple of years. That there were concerns about how she got them.”
I stiffened, my arm tightening around Lily who looked between us with wide, uncertain eyes.
“I told them straight up you’d never hurt her,” Ash continued, his gaze steady on mine. “Told them it was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever heard. Said there had to be something else going on.”
The immediate defense surprised me, though it shouldn’t have. No matter what had happened between us in the past, Ash knew me. Knew I would cut off my own hand before hurting Lily.
“Two years, Ash,” I said, the words sharp despite my effort to keep my voice level.
“Two years I’ve been doing this alone. Taking her to doctors who dismissed me, fighting insurance companies, watching her get hurt and not knowing why.
” Each word felt like it was being ripped from somewhere deep inside me, wounds reopening.
“Where were you when she cried for you at night? When I had to carry her into the ER at three in the morning? Prison. That’s where.
Not because you’re a bad person, Ash. Because you didn’t put us first. If you had, you’d never have gone to prison to begin with. ”
Lily pressed closer to my side, sensing the tension. “Mommy?” she whispered, looking up at me with concern.