Chapter Eleven
Eliza
I stood in Haven’s entrance, watching as Lavender led Lily and Brynn toward their apartment in the adjacent building.
Lily looked back once, waving with excitement rather than concern, clearly thrilled at the prospect of a sleepover with her new friend.
The sight of her happiness should have comforted me, but instead I felt a hollowness opening inside my chest. This was the first night we would be apart since her birth.
Necessary or not, it felt like the first crack in my role as her mother.
I wiped quickly at my eyes, determined not to let anyone see me cry again.
“Eliza.”
The voice behind me sent a jolt through my already frayed nerves. I turned to find Ash approaching, his expression creased with concern. He moved carefully, hands slightly raised as if approaching a skittish animal.
“Hannah told me what happened with the social worker,” he said, stopping a respectful distance away. “I want to help. Maybe if we present a united front, show we’re both committed to Lily’s care --”
“No. Not happening.” Cash’s voice cut through the corridor as he appeared from the direction of the kitchen, his body immediately positioning itself between Ash and me. “You need to back off.”
Ash stiffened, his eyes narrowing. “This is between me and Eliza. It concerns our daughter.”
“She doesn’t need you swooping in now, making things complicated,” Cash growled, taking another step forward. Though they were roughly the same height, Cash’s broader build made him seem larger, more imposing. “She’s got enough to deal with.”
“And who are you to decide that?” Ash countered, his voice low but intense. “I’m Lily’s father.”
I opened my mouth to intervene, but found myself frozen, watching this territorial display unfold before me. Cash’s possessive stance should have angered me, yet his fierce protectiveness struck a chord deep within me.
“Eliza’s mine,” Cash stated, his voice dropping to a dangerous rumble. “Lily’s your daughter but she’s under my protection now too. Back. The fuck. Off.”
Ash didn’t retreat. Instead, he straightened his shoulders, the Kiss of Death cut stretching across his frame. “You don’t get to make that call, brother. Eliza decides who she wants in her life, not you.”
The two men stood toe to toe, neither willing to back down.
The air between them seemed to crackle with barely contained aggression.
I knew I should step in, say something to defuse the situation, but exhaustion and emotional overload left me unable to form words.
Their posturing felt distant, as if I was watching a scene play out from behind glass.
“For fuck’s sake, dump the testosterone before I hose you both down.
” Pippa’s exasperated voice cut through the standoff as she rounded the corner, hands planted firmly on her hips.
“You’re in a women’s shelter, not a boxing ring.
” Both men continued to glare at each other, neither moving.
“Now,” Pippa added, her tone leaving no room for argument.
“Or I’m calling Knuckles and telling him his brothers are acting like idiots in front of the residents. ”
The mention of the MC president seemed to break through their standoff. Cash took a reluctant step back, though his eyes remained locked on Ash’s.
I seized the moment of distraction to slip away, my feet carrying me down the corridor and through the side exit before conscious thought caught up with my actions.
I needed to be alone, away from the suffocating weight of my life at the moment.
Away from decisions and consequences and the constant fear that had become my companion.
The evening air hit my face as I emerged into the compound, the sun low on the horizon casting long shadows between the buildings.
Without any clear destination in mind, I jogged, putting distance between myself and Haven’s watchful eyes.
I found a path through the manned gate leading between Haven and the Kiss of Death compound.
The guard at the gate let me through with a nod.
Pippa had likely called ahead to let him know because she knew I had a favorite place in the compound, though I’d only been there once.
I headed toward one of the larger warehouses near the center of the compound.
A large welcome sign proclaimed the building “Oasis.” Lavender had given me a digital key from an app to unlock the door.
I stepped inside the building and then the lift immediately on the inside, and pressed the single button.
A slow ride upward later, the doors opened to a world impossible within the industrial compound.
Lush tropical plants created green walls around a crystal-blue pool, steam rising gently from its surface.
The glass ceiling high above revealed the darkening sky, the first stars beginning to appear.
Soft lighting illuminated pathways through the foliage, creating the illusion of a secret garden suspended above the harsh realities below. This place was a private paradise.
I moved in a daze toward the pool’s edge, the humid air wrapping around me like a warm blanket.
Water lapped gently against the tile as I stood motionless, my reflection fragmented and distorted on its surface.
Here, surrounded by impossible beauty, the walls I had carefully constructed began to crack.
I didn’t hear the elevator doors open again, didn’t register Cash’s presence until his reflection appeared beside mine in the water. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to look at him, afraid acknowledging another person would shatter what little composure I had left.
“You shouldn’t be here alone,” he said quietly.
“Then make me leave,” I whispered, my voice barely audible above the gentle splash of water.
He didn’t respond. I felt him waiting, giving me space within his presence. I turned slowly to face him, no longer caring tears streamed freely down my face.
“You know, I went to prison because one of my band mates started a brawl and what Southern boy doesn’t love a good brawl?
I knocked a guy off my buddy and the guy stumbled, tripped, and hit his head on a table.
The blow to the head wasn’t so bad, but on the way down, the back of his neck hit the edge of a chair and it snapped his spine.
He died a few hours later at the hospital.
” He spoke softly, his voice almost hypnotic.
“I thought my life was over.” When I didn’t say anything, he moved slightly closer to me.
“I was wrong. Instead, I found new, strong friendships and a makeshift family I can’t imagine not having in my life.
And maybe… maybe I’m supposed to be here, maybe everything happened the way it did to bring me here. To you and Lily.”
“I can’t lose her,” I whispered, the words tearing from somewhere deep and primal inside me. “She’s everything I have.”
Cash reached out, pulling me against his chest without hesitation.
His arms encircled me completely, creating a fortress of muscle and warmth as my body finally surrendered to the breakdown I’d been fighting for weeks.
Sobs wracked my frame, violent and raw, each one tearing from my throat with painful force.
His hand cradled the back of my head, fingers threading through my hair as he held me steady through the storm.
“You won’t lose her,” he murmured against the top of my head, his voice a low rumble I felt more than heard. “I won’t let anyone take her from you.”
I clutched his shirt, fingers digging into the fabric as if I could anchor myself to his certainty.
Time lost meaning as I cried, emptying myself of fears too heavy to carry alone.
Gradually, the violent sobs subsided to quieter tears, my breathing ragged but slowing.
Still, Cash held me, his body solid and real when everything else in my life felt like shifting sand.
As my awareness expanded beyond grief, I became conscious of other sensations.
The steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath my ear, the gentle pressure of his hand stroking my back.
The warmth radiating from his body in the already humid air soothed me and gave me a sense of safety and protection.
His scent surrounded me, mingling with the chlorine from the pool and the earthy smell of tropical plants and damp soil.
I pulled back slightly, needing to see his face. Cash loosened his hold but didn’t release me, his hands moving to rest at my waist. His eyes searched mine, concern evident in their depths. But I also saw hunger matching the sudden, desperate need building inside me.
“Cash,” I whispered, my voice breaking on his name.
He brushed his thumb across my cheekbone, wiping away the wetness there. The tender gesture undid me completely. I reached up, my fingers tracing the line of his jaw, rough with stubble beneath my touch.
Neither of us moved for a heartbeat, suspended in the moment of decision.
Then Cash tilted my face upward as I rose to meet him halfway, our mouths colliding with an urgency that stole my breath.
The kiss was not gentle or questioning. It was desperate, hungry, a physical manifestation of the emotional storm we’d been circling for weeks.
His hand tangled in my hair, angling my head to deepen the kiss as I wound my arms around his neck, eliminating any remaining space between us.
The heat of his body pressed against mine, solid and insistent, and his heartbeat thundered against my chest. The sound of our ragged breathing echoed in the cavernous space.