Chapter 21
21
Icouldn’t believe I’d been kidnapped from a party by the same guy who hated my guts because he thought my going out with friends was now a hazardous activity. Who the hell did he think he was to decide what I should or shouldn’t do? As if he could read my mind, Ryder continued with the newfound rules he came up with.
“You shouldn’t drink,” he said.
Right there, another shouldn’t.
“Look who’s talking. Oh yeah, you’re nineteen and you do, so stop being Mr. I-Think-I’m-Perfect. I won’t fall for your Do as I say, don’t do what I do bullshit. Sorry, I’m smarter than this. Try again.”
“Why are you always a pain in my ass? Can’t you just listen?”
Ryder dropped me to my feet, and we faced each other.
I blinked. And re-blinked just to make sure all this was not a dream. Or rather a nightmare, since it involved the devil himself.
The thick air surrounding us could be cut with a knife. The noises from the party were muffled by the distance. Only the faded beat of the bass resonating from behind the line of trees could be heard. The warm breeze carried the scent of smoke from the bonfire.
“Me?” I asked, arching my thumb to my chest, my eyes focused on my enemy. “You have me mixed up with someone else. Since I came here, you’ve been nothing but rude and obnoxious to me. Don’t sugarcoat your role in this,” I added, my hand flipping between us. “You started this war. I was minding my own business when you decided to spoil my first day in town, and you haven’t stopped since. Now let me go. I can walk home.”
“Not a chance.”
“Why?” I screamed. “Why can’t you back off for once?”
“Because. You’re not drinking and partying under my watch. End of discussion. I let you have your fun. Now it’s over.”
“But I’m not your responsibility. You have no say in what I do or who I see or spend time with. None. N.O.N.E. It makes no sense.”
“Well, it does to me,” he said, his tone level and gaze turbulent.
Something close to regret passed through his eyes. The wrath that had been there for the last ten minutes dissolved. Though I could still tell he was upset with me due to things I couldn’t understand
Resigned to not going back to the party, I hauled myself in his car and slouched in my seat, determined to let it go.
For now.
Ryder’s gaze lingered on my left forearm. Feeling naked under his scrutiny and not wanting him to see the now-faded scars just below the crook of my elbow, I folded my arms over my chest.
His tongue moistened his lips, and he looked away for a fleeting second before he fired up the engine and backed out of the parking space.
We drove in silence, the tension in the car so charged it could have exploded any second.
Once he parked in my driveway, I turned to face him after I opened the passenger door. I could read the hurt in his eyes now. Along with an expression I could not comprehend because, in reality, nothing wild happened tonight.
The part of me unable to not care for another human being took over and chased my anger away. Remaining in my seat, I closed the door and turned toward him. “Wanna talk about it?”
Ryder’s eyes darkened before he dropped his head back. A long exhale broke the silence. An indifferent expression painted his face when he looked at me. “There’s nothing to talk about. Keep out of my personal life. And stop imagining things that don’t exist.”
I rolled my eyes. “Go ahead. Now lie to yourself too. Nice job.”
“Go to bed, baby girl. It’s late.”
I clenched my hands at my sides. Our fight was far from over. Whatever respite I read in Ryder’s eyes moments ago was gone. He had returned to his annoying, bossy self.
Without another word, I got out of the car and slammed the door behind me, hurrying to my room, relieved my aunt and uncle weren’t up and waiting for me to return.
Lying on my front, I punched the mattress, sending Iris a nine-one-one text message. She called me back within a minute.
“He what? Girl, who does he think he is? Ohmygod, I would have died of shame. I’m so sorry you had to deal with it, A. I would have ripped his eyes out.”
I loved how my best friend was ready to defend me against enemy number one if she were here as I told her all about my night.
“Let’s recap. He kidnapped you? Without any explanation? In front of everybody? Okay, gimme a moment here to assess all this.”
“None of his excuses made sense. He carried me like a package over his shoulder. It was so humiliating. I’ll never be able to look all those people in the eye ever again after what went down. They’ll treat me like a kid now. And we’re all the same age. Who’ll want to invite me to hang out? Ryder destroyed my reputation. He killed my social life. And any future opportunities to make friends while I’m here. And his girlfriend got jealous and poured her drink over me. This is a nightmare. All of it.”
“A, it might not be that bad.” I knew Iris. She was trying to make the situation appear better than it was. We were both aware, but I said nothing. I adored her for trying to cheer me up when things had gone south.
I shook my head, tears prickling the back of my eyeballs now.
“It was. It is. He made a fool of me. This is bad, Iris.”
“What do you wanna do?” she asked in a soft tone. “Are you gonna ask your parents to bring you back home?”
“Nah. I kinda love it here, but for whatever reason, Ryder is making my stay difficult. I don’t wanna leave just yet.” We said nothing for a while. “I have no clue what I should do. I hate him so much. He’s a jerk, and he’s pretentious and thinks he knows it all. I don’t wanna fight; it’s exhausting. Can’t I just be happy and free for a night?”
“Do you…like…are you having thoughts about harming yourself?” she asked in the most caring voice. “I’m here. You can tell me.”
I shook my head. “No. I scratched my arm earlier and fidgeted with my bracelet, but that’s as far as it went.”
“You’d tell me if it was more than that, right? You promised last time you’d never do it without talking to me first.”
“Yes. I won’t. I’m fine. I swear. I’m better now at dealing with my anxiety or when I’m overwhelmed. Those breathing techniques help a lot. I can face Ryder and his angry attitude. He doesn’t scare me.”
“Okay. When is your date with Joseph?” she asked, changing the subject. “You should focus on that instead.”
“Saturday.” I breathed out. “As usual, you’re right. I can’t wait.” Specks of happiness returned. “He’s the only one around here who understands me, other than my immediate family. From the second we met. And I was hoping Tasha would too. Ryder didn’t give me enough time to find out.”
“Call her. Why don’t you invite her to watch a movie or go shopping or have a sleepover?”
“I should.”
“No. Scratch that. You will. This summer is all about getting out of our comfort zones. Making new friends and being brave are parts of the deal.”
I sighed. “I guess.” Even though I forced the words out, I couldn’t find it in me to sound convincing.
We talked some more before Iris announced she had to go.
Now, on my back, I opened the text app on my phone.
Me
Home safe. Sorry R was a jerk and I had to leave. He had no right to do this.
Are you free Thursday night? We could do something together. Raincheck.
I waited ten minutes, but Tasha never answered. After I removed my makeup and changed into night clothes, I slipped underneath the covers and surrendered myself to sleep.
On Wednesday morning, I was still reeling from Ryder’s actions the previous night.
“Morning, kiddo,” Uncle Mason said as he placed a mug of hot caffeine in my hand when I joined him in the kitchen. “How was your night? You came home early.”
I shrugged. “Okay, I guess.”
I faked a smile, but from the way his eyes turned to slits as he studied me, I could tell he saw right through my lie.
I sighed and joined him, sipping my coffee to avoid talking.
“Whose ass should I kick now? Nobody messes with my family.” He said the words with a hardened tone, but I could tell he was joking. Sorta.
“Nobody. It’s fine.”
If only he knew the jerk he considered a son was the reason why my sleep was troubled last night. Sure, he was aware we weren’t getting along too well, but I was certain he would never approve of how Ryder dragged me out of that party last night. But also, I didn't want to be the person driving a wedge between them. After all, I was in town for the summer, no need to create drama while I was here. And I was happy to know he and Aunt Melinda had someone to watch over them when I wasn’t in town.
“Listen, instead of having dinner at home tomorrow night, we were thinking we could go out, the four of us. There’s this place an hour’s drive from here that serves the best crab cakes in the country, and since it’s Melinda’s birthday in a few days, I thought it could be fun to have dinner there. I’m taking her to an inn on Friday for a long weekend; it’s our annual birthday ritual. Anyway, the restaurant I’m talking about has a huge deck overlooking the ocean, and the sunsets are to die for. We’ll have to leave around five-thirty. What do you think?”
“I’d love that.”
“Sorry I didn’t tell you about our weekend plans sooner. Hope it sits well with you to be home alone for two nights.”
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be more than fine. I have plans with Joseph on Saturday, so I’ll be gone most of the day,” I said. And the excitement of my upcoming date chased away the dreadful thought of spending yet another evening with Ryder.
“Perfect. Then it’s settled. Bianca will work with you today and tomorrow. She’ll show you what she does marketing-wise. Social media, advertising, events, promos. It should be interesting to shadow her and see that side of the business. What do you think?”
I jumped to my feet to hug my uncle. “It sounds perfect. Thank you.”
“Glad you approve, kiddo.” He stood and filled the dishwasher. “Come and say hi when you get to the garage. I’m leaving in two minutes.”
“Okay. Where’s Aunt Melinda? She’s usually awake at this hour.”
“Press conference. Some scandal happened last night, and she left early to find time to prepare. Life of the rich and famous…harder than it seems.” He stifled a laugh and left as I finished breakfast on my own.
Home alone after my aunt and uncle met with friends for dinner, I nibbled on another pizza slice. Spread on my bed, I was writing in my journal and listening to music playing on my phone, the half-empty pizza box set next to me. It’d been a long time since I’d been on my own for more than a couple of hours, and I enjoyed the calm it provided.
Jessa Hart’s new single played on the portative speaker set on my nightstand, and I increased the volume, not having to care if anyone would ask me to turn it down. Yeah, this night was perfect.
Joseph had texted me earlier, and since he was on babysitting duty, he said he’d call me later. I checked the time on my phone. Seven thirty-four. I smiled at the idea of his being in the midst of bath and bedtime stories. I loved the fact he could care for his little sisters by himself without being freaked out about it. Lucas, my ex-boyfriend, would have never been caught babysitting.
The mattress dipped beside me, and before I had time to react, a hand I would recognize anywhere grabbed a pizza slice from the open box. Moving to my knees, I slapped it away, but it was too late, the pizza had found his stupid mouth.
Ryder watched me with amusement brightening his irises that appeared bluer than usual tonight. “Heard you were here by yourself and came to keep you company.”
He grabbed my phone and stopped the music.
“Hey,” I protested. “Gimme that. And scram.”
He motioned to his feet, but instead of leaving, he kicked off his shoes and jumped back on the bed, resting against the headboard, his legs stretched before him.
“Are you kidding me right now?” My fists pressed on my hips. “Go away.”
He inhaled the rest of the pizza and extended an arm for a second slice. Ugh, teenage boys are gross.
“I don’t remember inviting you.” I pushed him to the side. Too strong for me, Ryder didn’t even budge an inch. I cringed as he devoured his pizza in two bites. Yeah, super extra gross.
“What are you doing, baby girl? I knew you couldn’t resist touching me. But in your bedroom? Are you sure Mason and Melinda would approve of this?” He raised his brows, his piercing shiny under the ceiling light.
Before I could remove my hands, he captured them with his.
“Not so fast. Are you afraid you’ll love feeling me up?”
I pushed him back at the same time he tugged on my arms, and I ended up spread across his lap, our faces inches apart.
I growled, trying to break free. The upturn of his lips as he watched me made me see red. “I wanna be alone. This means you’re not invited. And you can’t stay.”
“Why?” His grip around my wrists slackened, but not enough for me to break free. “Nobody loves to be alone.”
“Well, I do. Now go, or I’ll-I’ll bite you.”
His head fell back, and he burst into a fit of laughter. A sound so foreign when it came down to him.
“You’ll…bite me? Is that right?”
“Yes. And I’ll tear off that piercing of yours with my teeth. Wanna see if I’m bluffing?”
Before I could realize what had happened, I was flipped on my back with Ryder above me, my arms pressed into the mattress on either side of me, his hands holding them still.
It wasn’t disdain that swam in his eyes right now, but something that got me tongue-tied. And warm all over.
His irises traced my features.
His breathing picked up.
“Wh-what do you want?” I asked, my voice husky.
He said nothing, still scanning each inch of me.
I pushed my chest forward trying to shake him away, but it had the opposite effect because his eyes landed on my breasts.
“What do you want?” I repeated, more assertive this time.
“I bought something for you.”
I snorted. “Yeah, right. Let me guess. A bus ticket back home? Or a leash so you can keep me in line?”
Color tinted his cheeks. Did I say something that unnerved him?
“So, it is a leash. I knew it. You’re so predictable.”
His amusement vanished, and something dark shone on his face. “If it was a leash, believe me, it wouldn’t be to keep you in line. I bet we could find more uses for it that would make you scream in pleasure. Don’t you agree, baby girl?”
“You’re so fucked in the head. Release me.” The words I spoke had nothing to do with the images invading my mind. Ryder was such a mystery to me. Did he really practice bondage and stuff, or was he just messing about to get a reaction out of me? Every time I thought I knew everything about him, he said or did something out of character that kept me guessing.
“Are you ready for your surprise now?”
I harrumphed. “If it concerns you, I think I’ll pass.”
“Come on, you shared your dinner with me, so I wanna share my dessert with you.”
Even when he said dessert, it sounded like dirty sex promises. I had to stop associating Ryder with sex. It had become a bad habit of mine. Else he would haunt all my nights.
“Fine, I’ll eat your dessert,” I said, using a tone I hoped sounded desperate and hot.
He jumped away from me and landed on his feet, extending his hand for me to grab. I squinted at it and pushed him aside, standing on my own.
I followed him to the kitchen.
“I’m not up for games, so it better be real.”
“Close your eyes.”
“No.”
Ryder sighed. “Why are you being so difficult?”
“Look at yourself in a mirror, and you may find the answer to that question.”
Rummaging through the freezer, he turned around with two ice cream sandwiches and offered me one.
I hesitated but only for a few seconds because I really loved those. Aunt Melinda used to keep a freezer full of them during the summer when I was a kid.
“See, it didn’t bite you.” Ryder smirked at me, and I rolled my eyes.
“Thanks.”
“Wanna go for a walk?”
No. I should make an effort, though. I told my uncle I’d give him a chance. “Fine.”
Side by side, we toured the property and stopped by the pond. I sat on one side of the bench, and after pacing the grass in front of me, Ryder took the seat on the other end.
We remained silent for the longest time, admiring the pastel-colored sky and the night falling across. With my head tilted back, I watched the stars, wondering if other people lived somewhere out there.
The orange glow of a flame on my left caught my attention, and my focus drifted to the boy next to me as he lit the blunt dangling between his lips.
“Why are you smoking?”
He shrugged. “Because.”
“That’s not an answer.” Right now, I was very curious about what his reasoning would be. From what I’d seen so far, it wasn’t a habit of his. I only saw him do it once or twice. Ryder didn’t appear to be a junkie. Tonight, I could tell something was bothering him. He never tried to spend time with me, always warning me to stay the fuck away.
“Sometimes, it helps me to deal with shit. Memories I wish I could delete.” He blew a cloud of smoke. “Why do you care?”
“I don’t. It’s your life. Just curious.” I stretched my arm toward him. “Give it to me.”
“Why?”
“Because.”
He quirked one brow. “That’s not an answer.”
I laughed at how he used my own words against me. “I want a puff.”
“No.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“You don’t need it.”
I shook my head. “And you do?”
He stared at me, and I shivered under the intense scrutiny. “It’s not the same.”
“Talk about double standards. It’s okay for guys to sleep around because it makes them cool, but girls do the same, and people point fingers at them. And now it’s right for you to pollute your lungs and get high, but it’s not for me. Are you serious?”
“Nobody should smoke this shit.”
“Well, you do.”
Without another word, he put it out on the ground, leaned back, and stretched one arm on the backrest of the bench.
“You should care,” I said after a moment, “about your health. Numbing yourself won’t help anything.” As I spoke the words, my fingers fidgeted with the bracelet around my wrist.
Ryder turned to stare at me. “Why do you say that?”
I breathed out. “I have my reasons.”
“Mind sharing?”
“With you?” I let out a mirthless laugh. “I’ll pass.”
He brought his attention back to the starry sky. “Suit yourself.”
After what seemed to be hours, he took out a bag of sour gummies from the front pocket of his hoodie. “Want some?”
“Okay. Unless it comes with a catch.”
He shook his head and tore the bag open with his teeth.
“My favorite.”
“Yeah. Mine too.”
“What?” Did he say what I thought he said? He couldn’t know my favorite flavor of gummies.
“Nothing.”
“Thanks.” He pushed the bag in my direction, and I took a handful. “Does your pocket contain more treats?”
A small smile lifted the corner of his lips. “Nah. That’s everything I’ve got.”
“It is nice of you to share with me.”
He shrugged one shoulder. “Thanks for spending time with me.”
My tongue burned to ask what he meant, but I decided to keep the peace between us for a little longer. Ryder was such a confusing person, but this side of him, somehow vulnerable tonight, made me believe he wasn’t all bad underneath his layers of anger.
At some point, I realized my phone wasn’t on me and asked, “What time it is?”
Ryder grabbed his device to read the screen. “Almost midnight.”
“Oh shit, Joseph.” I had totally forgotten about him and our night call while I was here with Ryder. And at this late hour, no doubt, he was already asleep.
Ryder’s face fell, and he moved to his feet. “Let’s go.” A mask of stone covered his features.
The walls were back around him. Gone was the boy who let me see a new side of him tonight. His hand lingered on the armrest of the bench for a long minute, and he mumbled something I couldn’t hear from where I sat on the other end, then waved as he sauntered away.
Rushing after his retreating silhouette, I caught up with him halfway toward the house. “Wait. Are you okay?”
Nothing.
“Are we okay?”
No answer.
I stepped in front of him and pressed his chest. He circled my wrists but didn’t remove them. “Talk to me. What happened back there?”
“Call your boyfriend, baby girl, and let me be.” His harsh tone acted like a cold shower.
“Are you all right?”
He snorted. “I will be. Don’t worry about me. Anyway, you should stay away. Night.”
He pushed past me and left me alone in the dark, not glancing over his shoulder once.
“Ryder,” I screamed after him. “Come back.”
He turned around the side of the house, and I lost track of him. Seconds later, I heard the distinctive sound of his car as he drove away.
“Fuck. Why is it so complicated to be friends with you?”
I locked myself in my room and noticed the screen of my phone flashing with two missed calls and five texts.
Joseph
Hey Avalon. Girls are in bed. Call me when you get this.
I’ll be in the shower, text me when you get this.
I tried to call you, but your phone may be dead.
Going to bed. It’s almost ten. Let me know if you’re ok when you read this.
You’re still not picking up. Should I worry? I’ll call you in the morning when I have a break. Sleep tight, bestie.
Burying my face in my pillow, I grunted. The night had been nothing like I expected.
Lifting the pizza box and other stuff from my bed, I placed my journal on the bedside table and disposed of the box in the kitchen, noticing my aunt and uncle weren’t back yet. Leaving a light on, I returned to my room, climbed into bed, and tried to steer my dreams away from the guy with green eyes who looked somehow broken tonight. Sometimes, it helps me deal with shit. Memories I wish I could delete. What did he mean by that? What had happened to Ryder that made him like this, cold and full of thorns?
Before I could make up scenarios in my head, my lids closed, and sleep stole me away from my thoughts.