Chapter 22
22
Bianca made the two days we spent together worth a million times over. I loved everything about her job. The creative side. The logical thinking. The analysis. And I could see myself doing what she did as a career.
Today I had been so busy I didn’t even have time to butt heads with Ryder the two times we crossed paths.
Back home, I changed into a soft-pink summer dress, curled my hair, and applied a little makeup. Sitting on the front porch swing with a book, I plugged music into my ears.
Aunt Melinda and Uncle Mason joined me fifteen minutes later, and Ryder arrived, wearing a button-up, short-sleeved, crisp slate-gray shirt and navy chino shorts with a pair of denim-colored Braxton sneakers. From the corner of my eye, I admired him. I had to admit Ryder always looked both handsome and mysterious with his disheveled hair and dark clothing and the permanent I-don’t-give-a-damn frown. But dressed up, with his combed hair and clean-shaven jaw, and the mysterious aura around him tamed, he fascinated me even more. It was so contrary to his usual fashion choices.
We all got in Uncle Mason’s pickup truck, Ryder and I in the backseat, ignoring each other and keeping to our far sides. My aunt and uncle exchanged funny stories about their early days for the entire length of the hour-long drive, skirting the need to make small talk with Ryder.
At the restaurant, a host led us to our table. Ryder’s hand landed on the small of my back as if it was the most natural gesture and I was really his to look out for as we threaded through the tables. An electric current spread from under his palm, and I jerked away, but he didn’t remove his hand, his touch getting heavier instead. Could he feel it too? More tingles enveloped my spine, but I chose to ignore them, holding my breath to avoid giving way to the sensations working through me. This meant nothing. But my traitorous body reveled in the feeling.
“Ava, wine?” Aunt Melinda asked. She and Uncle Mason took their places opposite Ryder and me on the small square table covered with a black linen cloth and burgundy napkins. Two candles in glass jars burned in the middle, giving the place a romantic atmosphere. The whiff of garlic bread and seafood tickled my nose. My seat neighbor kicked my feet under the table. I fixed my biggest smile, pretended to hesitate for a second, then agreed. My aunt brought her attention to Ryder. “Ride, we’ll drive you home later if you drink some too.”
He nodded, and she filled our glasses before Uncle Mason raised his. “To my wonderful wife. Happy birthday, my love,” he said, clinking his glass to hers, then ours. He leaned in to kiss her before his focus landed on Ryder and me. “And thank you, kiddos, for celebrating with us tonight. Sometimes, families come in different forms, but they mean just as much. I speak for both of us when I say we’re grateful you two are in our lives. It wasn’t an easy road for any of us, but we made it to the other side. I love you all, and I wouldn’t want to be here tonight with anyone else. To family.”
“To family,” Ryder and I both echoed.
Dinner ran smoothly, and Ryder and I did a great job of ignoring each other without being too blatant about it. We still had to talk about what happened the previous night and his bossy attitude toward me at the party. Having him so close to me for hours brought my frustration back to the surface.
“Slept well?” he asked in a whispered tone, a challenge in his eyes, as soon as my aunt and uncle were on the dance floor, kissing and swaying to the music, amongst other patrons.
Keeping my gaze glued to my phone, I decided to avoid any confrontation tonight.
Ryder slid his chair closer to mine. “What’s wrong? You’re usually feistier than this. Want me to drag you out of here my way?”
It did the trick, as my head swiveled in his direction of its own volition. I could no longer avoid his eyes.
What I saw in his sent shivers through me. I possessed no word strong enough to explain the mix of attraction and disdain I felt at that exact moment. It was unhealthy to have intense contradictory emotions toward someone else. Even though Ryder woke up something in me, something I kinda liked, why would I choose darkness when light made me happy? I was done with the murky side of my existence. Once and for all.
“I’m not gonna acknowledge anything that comes out of your mouth,” I said, trying my best to keep my voice steady and detached. “Now isn’t the time to tell you how much I can’t stand you.” Gone was the friendliness we experienced last night. How could he always provoke my worst side to show up? I barely recognized myself every time we ended up in one of our heated exchanges.
“You’re wrong. Now is the perfect time to let that anger out. I’m all ears. Go ahead, baby girl. Gimme your best I-hate-Ryder speech. Wanna dance when we hash it out?” He held out his palm.
“Never.” I groaned and closed my eyes, my fists clenching beside me. “Not gonna join your little game. It’s childish,” I said, once my eyes returned to his amused ones. He smiled, and I was taken aback by the sight. I blinked, but it was a genuine curl I saw on his lips. “Why are you smiling? It doesn’t suit you. You’re the broody, exasperated type. Go back to being mad at the world.”
With his fingers, he cocked my head to the side. “See, they seem happy. And seconds ago, they looked our way, and they smiled. Only trying to pretend we’re fine so they don’t worry about you being manhandled by the big bad wolf. Making conversation is a social skill. You should try it sometimes. It will be useful for the rest of your life.”
In one swift movement, that I never anticipated, Ryder jumped to his feet and pulled me up until I stood beside him, before leading me to the dance floor.
“I don’t wanna dance. With you.” My words lacked conviction even to my own ears.
Ryder snorted. “Yeah, right. Throw a tantrum. You prefer showing your skills at a party on the bed of a truck while you’re drunk. Not judging.”
I tilted my head back, a loud chuckle bubbling out. “You not judging me? Yeah right. Since when?”
His lips descended to the side of my face, ribbons of venom slicing his words. And sending palpitations through my entire self. “Don’t be so hasty to draw conclusions when you’re clueless. One day, you’ll thank me.”
Shivers worked through me. “No. I won’t.”
“Wanna bet?”
I yelped when his fingers dug into my flesh, and he pulled me closer to him. One tiny movement of my head and our lips would brush.
My palm covered his thrumming heart, and I heard Ryder’s sharp intake of air. I fisted the fabric of his shirt, the only thing grounding me in the present.
The air between us thickened with unsaid words. I tried to look away but became entranced by his tongue darting out to moisten his lips.
Why was he always doing that when he looked nervous? It always sent mixed signals to my body. And I hated it.
Something tightened in my chest.
Ryder fastened his hold around my waist. Leaning in, his rough cheek brushed against mine, and the moan I tried to conceal made its way out despite myself.
A zing stirred inside me. I knew I shouldn’t stay here, yet I couldn’t move away, Ryder’s hot and cold attitude a constant puzzle to my brain.
Our feet stepped to the side, and I realized we were dancing. Sorta.
Why did hate look and feel a lot like attraction right now?
My body had a mind of its own because no matter the thoughts in my head, I stayed on the dance floor, glued to him.
He hung his head and whispered, “Be honest with me. How was sleep last night?”
I blinked, trying to avoid the spell he cast on me. My voice sounded weak. “What does it matter to you?”
“Curious, that’s all.”
“Don’t be.”
“Interesting,” he said. I chose to not think too much about what he left unsaid.
“Whatever.”
We kept dancing, swaying on the dancefloor, remaining silent for a long while.
After a moment, I remembered his earlier words and said, “Just so you know, I’m not scared of you.” My voice sounded weak and lacked confidence.
“Well, you should be.”
“Why?”
“Because. I’m not good for you.”
“That I already know. I’m asking you why. Why are you being so hard on me? Why are you cold, but when you think I’m not watching, you’re studying my reaction?”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about. It’s not that simple. Stop trying to figure me out.” He groaned and shook his head.
“What does this even mean?”
Ryder pushed away from me and returned to the table without another look in my direction.
My arms dropped to my sides, and I remained on the dance floor, unable to comprehend what went down. And what didn’t.
What did I say that upset him? Why couldn’t we just have a normal conversation for once?
“Ready to go?” my aunt asked as she and Uncle Mason joined me, cutting through my thoughts.
On our way outside, my phone chimed in my purse, and I enjoyed the more-than-welcome distraction.
Tasha
Sorry, forgot to answer you earlier. Can’t tomorrow, already have plans.
Free on Sunday afternoon? I know the best place to go shopping.
Me
Count me in.
Tasha
We could get our nails done afterward. Could be fun.
Me
I’ll pick you up at one. Send me your address.
“What or who makes you grin so big?” my aunt asked.
“Tasha and I made plans to hang out this weekend.”
“That’s fantastic. I thought you and Joseph had that date planned?” She draped an arm around my shoulders as we exited the restaurant.
“Yes. That too.”
I sensed Ryder’s eyes on me. They burned the skin of my back.
“Busy weekend.” Aunt Melinda pressed her free hand over her heart. “It makes me feel better since we’ll be out of town for two days. I was afraid you’d be on your own the whole weekend.”
“All good,” I said. “I’ll be plenty occupied.”
She pulled me closer to her in a side hug. “So happy to hear that.”
“Me too.”
The wine I had drunk combined with the vibrations of the truck and the darkness outside made me sleepy. Before long, my head weighed tons. At one point, I stopped fighting, and sleep won the battle.
When the truck stopped, Uncle Mason announced, “Home, kiddo. Ride, I’ll be right back to drive you to your place.”
Warm and cozy, I refused to leave the comfort I had fallen into. I wished I was already lying in the warmth of my bed. Something moved against me, and when I pried my lids open one by one, I realized I’d been resting my head on Ryder’s chest.
No. No, no, no. How could I have been so clumsy in my sleep? And why was he even sitting next to me? The last thing I recalled he was positioned on the opposite side of the backseat.
“Hey baby girl, slept well?” That crooked smile. It angered me just being on the receiving end of it.
What was with this sentence tonight? The quality of my sleep had nothing to do with him.
Fully awake now, as if I had been jolted by a ten-thousand-volt device, I jerked back.
“How? Why?” I asked.
“Your head was at a weird angle. I thought you could use a shoulder to drool on instead of getting neck pain.”
“I didn’t…I don’t drool.”
He pretended to wipe something from his sleeve while I ran the back of my hand over my mouth. Just in case.
“Guess you’ll never know.” He winked, and I almost lost it. If I wasn’t so sleepy, I would strangle him.
Gone was the moment we shared earlier, and back was the hatred.
Ryder scooted over the seat until the length of his body pressed against mine.
“Dream about me tonight, baby girl.” He winked and leaned across from me. I used both palms to keep him at a distance only to realize he was just opening the door.
“I hate you.”
“That’s the spirit.” His cruel laughter vibrated through me. “I’ll take hate any day. It’s better than indifference.”
I slammed the door in his face and hurried inside. Not in the mood to cross paths with my family, I entered the house through the private entrance of my bedroom. Once I was sure it was locked, I pressed my back against the closed door. When my breathing slowed to a normal pace, I shot my best friend a text.
Me
Iris, if I murder him in his sleep, will you help me bury the body?
She replied within seconds.
Iris
Always. I’ll bring the shovel. Gimme ten minutes and I’ll call you. Should I grab some popcorn? Your life is always so entertaining.
Me
*poking tongue out emoji* Don’t you dare call the devil incarnate entertaining.
You have no idea how bad it’s gotten.