Chapter 4 – Baelen
CHAPTER 4
BAELEN
I froze. My cock throbbed, and my fangs ached at her lust-filled demand. I should have expected it, but I got too lost in the softness of her skin, and the smell of her want and the catches in her breath, which turned to moans.
“What?” I croaked and then coughed to clear my throat.
Clawdia, also still now, looked up at me with wide, vulnerable eyes and asked in a sad whisper that made my heart sink, “You don’t want to?”
I’m completely ruining this.
I leaned into her, cocooning us, and tried to ignore the feel of her wet heat against the length of my cock. “Sunlight, I want you. So much. But this will cement our bond. Are you sure you want that?”
Her frown deepened the lines on her forehead. “Do you not?”
“I do,” I quickly assured her. “I just …”
Her lips twisted when I hesitated too long. “You just?”
“We haven’t discussed it. Mating is forever. I … want to make sure you’re … ready.”
I hadn’t stumbled over my words so much since I first learned them. I sighed, sat up, and rubbed my face.
Clawdia also sat up, disbelief creeping into her expression and voice. “You’re making it seem like I could turn you down. We are soul mates.”
Soul mates. I know what soul mates are. I know the damage they can cause each other.
While staring into her beautiful violet eyes, I couldn’t imagine a future where we didn’t care for each other. But I knew it could happen. I’d seen it. Being soul mates guaranteed nothing.
I sat on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands to avoid her penetrating gaze. “Soul mates aren’t inevitable, Sunlight, nor do they need to be together. Soul mates are a sign you are on the path the Fates set you on, but they are not essential. You can walk that path alone or completely deviate. You have the choice. You lose nothing but a potential partner on your journey if you reject them.”
Rustling and the popping of bedsprings alerted me to Clawdia’s movements, but I startled when my hands were parted and she peered at me from her position kneeling on the floor.
She whispered, almost furiously, “I don’t understand what you’re saying. I don’t want to reject you. What about me asking you to fuck me feels like rejection?”
“I know it’s not rejection.” Yet.
I had never believed myself to be a poor speaker before, but at that moment, I couldn’t believe anything else. Perhaps too many years alone ruined my ability to express myself. But I would try regardless, because the pain in her eyes was killing me.
I explained, “I’m not telling you to reject me. I’m saying there is an option since you seem to think that soul mates have to be together.”
“That’s information for other people, but I want to be with you.” She scoffed and pushed my hands away as she stood up. “I know what I was asking for when I asked you to fuck me. I know it cements the bond. I understand you wanted to confirm that I was all right with us gaining a bond, and that would have been fine, but you're pushing me away with talk about not being essential?”
“Sunlight—” I tried to interrupt and reach for her hand as she paced in front of me, but she batted me away.
“No. I’m talking, and you’re listening.” Her eyes flashed, and her face flushed with anger. It wasn’t an expression I’d ever witnessed on my soul mate before, and despite not being a male prone to nervousness, I swallowed and steeled myself for the coming rant.
“When we realized we were soul mates, I never thought about escaping that fate. I never have nor will. Maybe it’s not been the same for you, but to me, if we are destined to walk a path together, I want to do it holding your hand, sharing our power and our lives.”
The anger faded from her body, and she let out a slow, controlled breath before continuing, “Charlie wasn’t essential to my existence until he became my witch, but my life as a cat with him was full of angst and want for him. Zaide wasn’t essential to me either until I realized there was a part of me he filled, a part I didn’t know was empty. You’re right. Bonds don’t have to be. I’ve lived without them. But I’m greedy, and I want them, and I want you.
“It’s not an unreasonable request for you to want to know me better before you commit yourself. I understand that. But God forbid if we are separated, I want to feel our bond and know you’re safe.” Her eyes filled, her lips trembled, and I could not stop myself from pulling her into my arms.
She sat on my knee, both of us still naked as she spoke. “It’s killing me not to know how Zaide and Charlie are right now. I want us all to be powerful enough to overcome the chaos. But most of all, I want you. I want you to be essential to me. I want us. I want our family. Our future. The one I saw with our children. I’ve been so blessed to have bonds with incredible, kind, and beautiful men. I don’t want to reject a gift like that, and I won’t. I’m here offering you everything with me, if you’ll have me,” she finished in a whisper, eyes downcast.
We were both quiet for a moment while her heaving chest and shaking hands calmed and I thought out my reply to her heartfelt declaration so I didn’t completely ruin our interaction again.
“Do not think I have ever once thought of rejecting you, because I have not.” I tipped her head back to meet my gaze and hoped she could see the truth in my eyes. “I admit I haven’t excelled at speaking about this issue, but I … I have never been in a relationship. All of this, even speaking about my feelings, is new.
I’ve spent my years drowning out any wants or needs by focusing entirely on the titan people and their suffering. It’s unusual for someone to ask how I am, even more so for them to care. Even my fathers … Well, we haven’t been close since my mother left. Perhaps that is why I’ve reacted this way. I’ve been a victim of a bond which has fractured. I result from an unusual union. Yes, it was blessed by the Fates, but I haven’t been accepted in either culture.”
“You didn’t expect me to want you?” Her eyes searched mine as she caressed my cheek, and I leaned into her touch.
Simple affectionate touch was almost foreign to me, but from her, it felt both extraordinary and ordinary. Like I’d felt this thousands of times before, but only with her. My soul mate.
I closed my eyes and avoided her gaze and question. “I know Zaide and I have a lot of work to do to ensure our relationship works. I thought we would all wait …”
She interrupted, “But that’s you and Zaide. You’ll work it out, and everything will be fine. But with me and you, well, you can’t get rid of me regardless.”
Opening my eyes, I sighed. “There aren’t individuals here. You and Zaide are one soul. I cannot bond with part of that soul.”
“So, bonding with me means Zaide would also get the bond?” she asked slowly.
I nodded.
“That’s even better!” she exclaimed and bounced off my lap.
“Better?” My brow pulled down, and I frowned as she began pacing in front of me again.
“If Zaide is captured and alone and can’t feel me, he’s going to be scared and powerless. If he can feel the bond with you, maybe it will give him some hope. At the very least, it will reassure him we are together and that you kept your promise.”
But I didn’t keep my promise. I almost killed Clawdia by taking her to heal a natural portal and completely abandoned Charlie.
And yet it was clear from Clawdia’s shining and hopeful violet eyes that she believed our bond would help Zaide when he needed it most.
“You do not think he will be angry about having the choice taken from him?” I asked quietly.
“No. I really don’t,” she replied quickly. Then added, “Zaide is a pious male. He believes in the gods, the Fates, soul pairs, soul mates, and bonds. It’s never been a question for him whether we would all be together. He wants to work through his trauma because it could hurt you. And maybe he’d be upset that he missed our bonding. Maybe he’d want to be a part of it, but I think he’d understand because he needs the bond as much as I do right now.”
I let out a slow, shuddering breath. “You’re sure?”
She approached me like I was a frightened animal, and I held still as she caressed my face and whispered, “I’m sorry your life has been full of people who haven’t accepted you. I’m sorry your first instinct is that you are going to be tossed aside. But I can promise you it will never be the case with us. We all have our own problems, troubles our past has caused, but we all fit so well together, Baelen. We are a band of misfits. Shards of shattered glass from unique items that come together, impossibly, to form something better, unique, beautiful.”
I felt as though I could take a full breath for the first time in years, and in the empty space left behind by my exhale, affection, warmth and the first blossoming of love grew. Her words seemed to heal something inside of me. Something deep that had gone unnoticed.
This female … She is perfect.
She pressed a gentle kiss to my lips and straddled my lap as she wrapped me in her arms and squeezed.
“As for your fathers,” she muttered. “Well, it’s a good job they are immortal, because they have a lot of making up to do to you once we fix everything.”
“You are a dreamer, my sunlight.” I ran my nose over her collar and kissed her neck.
She shuddered and clenched her legs around my hips. Her voice cracked as she replied, “Never say never. I’m quite determined when I need to be.”
“I don’t doubt it.” I huffed a laugh as I gripped her hips and pulled her against my hardening cock.
“You’ll bond with me?” she whispered and rubbed herself against me. “Be my soul mate in all ways? In sickness and in health? Until death do us part?”
“Until death and into the next life, my sunlight.” I stroked her face and gazed into her lovely eyes. “Without you, my world would be a very dark place indeed. I’ll be your soul mate, your family, and the father to our children. I’ll make sure they are loved, no matter how strange they are.”
Her breath hiccupped. “Don’t make me cry.”
“Only with pleasure.” I kissed her shoulder. “Only when you are screaming my name,” I growled low in my throat and moved my hands from her hips to her breasts.
She gasped as I pinched her nipples, and I swallowed the sound with a hungry kiss. And I was hungry. My body throbbed. My fangs drew down to graze her lips, and each brush across her swollen, plump lips sent shockwaves across my body.
A kiss has never felt so good.
Clawdia pulled away and breathlessly whispered, “I accept those terms. Now fuck me.”
“Gladly.”
A smile spread across my face as I looked at her flushed skin and tight, pert nipples. I kissed her jaw as I stroked her hot, wet center before plunging into her depths. The sound of her gasps and the clench of her pussy around my fingers drove me wild.
I can’t wait to feel the same sopping clasp around my cock.
“You are a tease,” she hissed as her nails dug into my shoulders. “I want more than your fingers.”
“Do you?” I circled her clit with my thumb, and she sucked in a breath.
My cock was leaking between us, painting our stomachs with pre-cum, and when she grasped me, I almost lost myself to the tidal wave of pleasure her touch gave me. Before I could think, she sat up and rubbed my cock along the seam of her pussy, placing the head in exactly the right place before she looked at me and asked, “Forever?”
I choked out, “Forever,” before I thrust into her, and we both moaned at the feel of each other.
Our bond seemed to spring to life. What was a limp and gray line between us was now bronze and glowing with life. I could see it. And I could feel her. Everything.
Her emotions had a distinctive light feeling I’d never experienced before, making them easily distinguishable from my own. But the light washed away the darkness I held deep within my soul, the pure pleasure and happiness changing me in ways I couldn’t describe. I was buoyant, and she was my sunlight. We were family now, and we’d walk through this life together.
A hiccupped sob brought me back to the present, where my soul mate sat on top of me, impaled on my cock, crying.
“Sunlight. Did I hurt you? Are you okay?” I stroked her back and uttered reassuring nonsense in her ears as she calmed. I couldn’t sense any pain. All I could feel from her was pleasure and happiness.
So why is she crying?
She composed herself and offered me a sheepish smile. “I’m fine. I’m great. Wonderful. It just feels like everything is perfect. Like I’m whole.”
“Ah, my sunlight.” I relaxed at her words and nuzzled her cheek. “Together, we are whole.”
I still found her so attractive, as tears trickled from her eyes like raindrops on a window. Her nose, cheeks, and eyes had turned an adorable shade of red, and every time she hiccupped, she tightened around me.
I had to grit my teeth to stop myself from thrusting into her perfect pussy. “Who’s the tease now?”
She gave a watery chuckle and licked her lips. “I’m not teasing. I’ll give you what you need.”
Her hips turned in a slow circle, and my cock throbbed inside her with the movement. When my breathing hitched and my grip on her tightened, she smiled proudly, and I couldn’t stop myself from kissing her as I thrust, hard and fast.
Our pleasure compounded, growing so swiftly that I was sure to embarrass myself, but I focused my attention on my beautiful soul mate. I wanted to remember the moment for the rest of our lives. Her head tilted back, and her eyes closed as she rode me hard, whining with each slap as our bodies came together.
“Baelen, please,” she begged, and my fangs throbbed at the sound.
“Please?” I repeated through clenched teeth.
She squirmed on top of me, and the view of her bouncing breasts made me salivate. I wonder if she’d let me bite her there. “Make me come. I’m so close.”
“What do you need, Sunlight?”
“Touch me. Bite me.”
Unable to give her anything less, I stroked my thumb over her clit and, at the same moment, sank my fangs into her neck. Her blood hit my tongue, and I groaned in delight while Clawdia screamed and clenched around me in such a tight grip that I followed her into orgasm immediately.
I stroked her back leisurely while I sipped at the ambrosia trickling from her neck. She heaved a satisfied sigh, and through our bond, I could feel her happiness. It was a wonder to behold. As I licked the wound where my fangs had pierced her soft flesh, she shuddered. I lay back, bringing her with me, my soft cock still soaking in the warmth of her pussy.
It was glorious.
“You don’t need more?” she asked.
“I gorged on cattle and rested plenty. I’m well.”
She narrowed her eyes and I smiled innocently at her. When they unfocused I assumed she was checking my threads for signs I was lying about my health but found nothing.
“Don’t push me away again. I don’t like it,” she told me with a pout.
“I won’t.” Never again. You are mine now.
“And don’t call our children strange.” She slapped my shoulder gently.
I laughed. “They will be very strange. But very beautiful if they look anything like you. And kind. Good traits for leaders to have.”
That knocked her out of her playfulness.
“Leaders?” she asked, wide-eyed.
“Yes.” I shrugged. “One will need to be the titan leader, or king, and another will need to be a prince for the akari peoples. My uncle has been on the throne for far too long, and as much as he wants to hand it over to me, he knows the Fates have bigger plans for me. My mother told him I’d never be his heir but that my son would.”
She gaped at me before shaking her head. “No. No. They aren’t even real yet. They can’t be leaders or royalty.”
“They will be.” My mother wasn’t wrong about the future. It was her curse.
“And what are we going to do while our children are ruling the realms?” She pursed her lips, but her voice was soft, wistful. “Perhaps I shouldn’t be wishing our lives away, but it’s strangely nice … to imagine a time past all the chaos.”
I blinked. I hadn’t thought that far ahead. “Retire? Advise them? Spend time with our grandchildren? Be bothersome old relatives.”
“Being a bother is a certainty.” She chuckled, and the vibrations had my soft cock suddenly perking up.
“Regardless of the chaos and the challenges, we will be together,” I assured her and fought against the urge to thrust into her again.
“Are we going to stay like this all day?” she asked, wiggling slightly, which only made me harder.
“I can think of worse ways to spend a day.”
“You’ve just been … inside me all this time.”
“Exactly where I should be. Keeping all my cum inside you,” I growled in her ear, and her breath caught. A fresh waft of lust reached my nostrils, and sparks danced across our bond.
“I think you should add more,” she whispered.
Before she finished the last word, I rolled her onto her back and thrust hard into the heaven of her body.
I want to stay here forever. But another hour or so will have to do.
We had the rest of our family to rescue.
The midafternoon sun shone high in the sky when we roused enough to shower and get dressed. It was a domestic scene I’d never been a part of before, and I found it … peaceful. Right.
My gaze followed my soul mate as she rummaged through bags of luggage in nothing but her underwear, her damp hair dripping on the wooden floors. She’d already pulled out some clothing for us to wear, so I didn’t know what else she was looking for, but I appreciated the view.
“What are you looking for, Sunlight?” I asked, and she turned, glancing shyly at my bare chest as I rubbed my hair dry with a towel.
Our shower had been strictly for cleaning, but it didn’t stop me from exploring her wet, perfect body thoroughly enough to memorize every blemish and imperfection.
“A brush.” She pulled it out and waved it at me. “Zaide would …” She stopped, and her face dropped.
At the mention of my other missing soul mate and the sadness echoing through our bond, I dropped my towel. “Zaide would …?”
“He promised me when I first turned human that he would keep my hair beautiful. He’d brush it.” Her bottom lip quivered, and I tugged her into my arms.
I didn’t have the same relationship she did with Zaide. They’d been through a lot in a short amount of time, bonded from it, and loved each other. I didn’t know Zaide in the same way, but we were bonded now.
“Can you feel him?” Clawdia asked, her voice muffled by my chest.
I sighed. “There’s something, but it’s dull. They must be using something to prevent us from finding him. A block of some sort.”
“You think so?” She pulled away from me and picked up the trousers she’d pulled out for me before stooping, opening them, and nudging my feet to step into them. She continued, “But what kind of block would the hunters have? They are human. They can’t use magic, but they can block a magic bond? That doesn’t make sense.”
“Why are you dressing me like a child?” I asked her.
She buttoned them around my hips and reached for the T-shirt, which I quickly took from her before she could attempt to clothe me again. I was oddly offended about it.
“Not like a child.” She smirked. “But we need to go. If Zaide’s bond is blocked, then we need to find a way around that.”