11
“Well, the test results for any signs of STDs are all negative, so that’s some good news,” Doctor Fowler begins. “The fracture to your arm seems to be healing well and the cuts and burns to your body are also beginning to heal nicely without any worries of infection. This may be a little uncomfortable, but may I check the injuries to your vagina and anus?”
My stomach bottoms out as the memory of all the depraved things they did to me hits me full force, but I guess she has a job to do.
For the next few minutes, she has me shift to various positions so she can examine me, and even after everything I’ve been through lately, my cheeks still burn with embarrassment.
“Your stitches are healing well. How is your abdomen?” she asks.
“It’s uncomfortable, but not as bad as it was at first. It still hurts a little to walk.”
“That’s to be expected following a hysterectomy, you will feel some discomfort for another month or so, and when you are discharged, I recommend lots of bed rest, no strenuous activities and I recommend refraining from intercourse for four to six weeks at least.”
“There’ll be no problem with that.” Sex is the last thing on my mind right now.
Doctor Fowler sets down her clipboard and moves closer to me. “Sierra, I have treated a number of women who have been sexually assaulted, none of which, I have to admit, to the degree that you have. Some of them found it helps to talk to someone, a professional.”
I shake my head. “I don’t think so.”
“You might not feel like it now, but just know that there is help out there should you need it.”
I don’t really see how hashing out my feelings will magically make me better, but I force a smile to keep her happy.
“When can I go home?” I ask.
“Right now, I’m pleased with your progress. I’d like to monitor you a little longer but I would say in two to three days you could be back in your own bed.”
Thank God.
“I’ll leave you to enjoy your book,” she says with a knowing smile as she eyes the paperback on the table. “It’s a good one. Put it this way, if that man was real, my husband wouldn’t stand a chance.” She winks.
I snort a laugh as she retreats from the room, and just as I’m about to dive back into my book, my door opens, and Alec steps into the room.
His shirt and jeans are clean and wrinkle free, his hair washed and perfectly styled, and his face freshly shaven, though I have to admit, I kinda liked the rough, stubbled look.
I close my book. “You’re supposed to be sleeping.”
He smirks. “I slept for four hours, that’s more than I did most nights in the Marines.” He steps further into the room. “You don’t have to worry, princess, you leave the worrying to me, okay?”
“Where are my brothers?” I’ve tortured them by putting off seeing them for long enough, and I suppose now is as good a time as any.
“They’re having a bite to eat in the cafeteria downstairs.”
“I need to see them, but not in here. I was thinking of going out into the garden, this room is getting a little stuffy.” I need a change of scenery and some fresh fucking air.
“I’ll go grab you a wheelchair.”
I shoot him a look. “Seriously?”
First I had a doctor poke every single orifice in my body and now this? Is there no end to the humiliation today?
“It’s either the wheelchair or I carry you. Your choice.” He grins, a grin that has my belly flipping, and I’m half tempted to accept his offer to carry me.
He takes my silence as an answer and returns a minute later with a wheelchair. “I’ve told them to meet us there when they’re done.”
“Thanks, Alec.”
Determined to make it on my own, I shuffle off my bed, then grab the chunky knit cardigan Reese packed for me and throw it around my shoulders to cover my Disney pyjamas. I drop into the wheelchair with a sigh of defeat.
I hate this.
It doesn’t take long for Alec to wheel me through the hospital and out into the garden. It’s a fairly large enclosed area within the grounds, surrounded by the buildings that make up the hospital. The green space is lined with trees and flowers of every colour while benches are placed around the edge of the grass.
Alec stops beside a bench in the far corner, shaded by a huge tree and takes a seat beside me.
I take in a deep breath of cool, clean air, closing my eyes as I tip my head back to the sky.
“Doc says I could be going home in a couple of days,” I say.
“Seriously? That’s great. Are you excited to get back to normal?”
“I don’t think I’ll ever feel normal again, or even like my old self—at least I don’t right now—but I’m gonna try.”
Alec watches me with a soft gaze. “You seem a little happier today, it’s nice to see. I don’t like seeing you upset.”
I turn my face away, nibbling the inside of my cheek as my next words teeter on my lips. “You make me happy.”
My words are quiet, but I know he heard them. Out of the corner of my eye, I see his head turn to me, but I keep my eyes down, pretending to pick at a hangnail as my heart pounds in my chest.
He goes to speak, but he’s cut short.
“Sierra.” Gage’s voice startles me and I look up to see him coming to a stop in front of me, followed closely by Rafe.
Gage’s face is unreadable as always, and a deep frown etches into Rafe’s brow.
“Alec, can you give us a minute?” Gage asks.
Just as Alec begins to stand, I place my hand on his forearm. “No. I want Alec to stay.”
Gage goes to argue but I shoot him a warning look.
Rafe flashes me a sad smile. “Hey, little Hudson. How are you?”
“Like I got kidnapped, tortured and gang raped for over two weeks by a sadistic sociopath and his sick friends. How are you?”
Alec stiffens beside me.
Too soon?
Gage’s face crumples and something inside me breaks. The last time I saw him like this was when watched our dad die.
Rafe blows out a breath, taking a seat next to me on the bench, mindful to leave a considerable space between us. “I don’t even know what to say, Si. Nothing either of us can say will make this any better. We’re just glad you’re okay.”
Rafe reaches out but I flinch away from his touch.
“Sorry,” I mutter, “force of habit.”
I hate that my initial reaction is to recoil from physical touch, especially from my own brother. I know he’d never hurt me. But right now, my head’s a little fucked up and I struggle to differentiate between friend and foe.
I wonder why I don’t recoil from Alec?
“It never should have come to this,” Gage says quietly, shaking his head.
“Yeah, well. It did.”
“And for that, I feel partly responsible, both Rafe and I do. We’re the reason you stormed out that night an—”
“I don’t want to go there, Gage,” I cut him off. “I don’t have the energy or mental capacity to. What’s done is done, it’s over with. As much as I hate the fact you’ve been lying to me about Mom, I just want to draw a line under it.” Dwelling on the past never ends well.
He nods. “Alright, but just know that we’re not going to stop until every single one of those sick bastards are six feet under. Every one of them that touched you, they’re dead men walking on borrowed time.”
“A—fucking—men,” Rafe chimes in.
“Damn right,” Alec grumbles beside me. “Can’t fucking wait.”
Gage goes to say something else, but his phone buzzes in his pocket and he reaches in to answer it. “Yeah…? Okay, I’ll be right there.”
“Problem?” Rafe asks.
“Just something at the club. I’ve got to go,” Gage announces, his eyes flicking to mine. “I love you, sis, never forget that. I’ll see you later.” And with that, he stalks off back into the main building.
Rafe rises to his feet. “I should go too. Ivy asked if I could take her for ice cream after school, and naturally I caved.”
Since finding out he had a daughter he knew nothing about a few months back, she has him wrapped around her little finger, but I don’t think you’ll find my brother complaining.
“I’ll catch you later, little Hudson.” He gives me a wink before nodding goodbye to Alec and heading the same way Gage did.
I turn to Alec. “Ollie told me that night that you were coming for me. You know, for the first time in a long time, there was hope in my heart.”
He places his hand hesitantly over mine, squeezing gently. “I wasn’t going to stop looking for you, Sierra. Even if I spent the rest of my life searching, giving up was never an option. I will always come for you.”
Warmth spreads through me as I hold his gaze. I give his hand a squeeze back and he must see it as progress on my part because his mouth stretches into a wide smile.
“Can you do me a favour?” I ask.
“Anything.”
“Can you take me to see Ollie? I need to see him, to thank him.” I owe him everything. Without him, Alec would never have found me.
Alec’s face falters. “Princess, I’m sorry. I’ve been trying to find the right time to tell you but… Ollie didn’t make it.”
My heart sinks.
No…
“By the time he got to the hospital, he’d lost too much blood. The doctors did everything they could to save him,” Alec continues.
Tears burn in my eyes. He risked everything to help Alec get me out of there and it cost him his life.
Oh my God, his family…
Guilt sinks like a lead weight in my stomach. “It’s my fault. I should never have given him your number.”
“Sierra, he made his choice. He chose to help you because he knew what Sloane was doing to you was wrong. He died a hero, doing the right thing. You didn’t force him to do anything, so do not feel guilty, princess. None of this is on you.”
I know I shouldn’t feel guilty, but I do, I can’t help it. If it hadn’t been for me, he’d still be alive.
“What about his family?”
“They’ll be taken care of, Gage will make sure of it. Do you want to go back inside?”
I nod, swiping a tear from my cheek.
He rises from the bench. “Come on, I’ll wheel you inside.”
“Well, I don’t have much choice seeing as you won’t let me walk.”
He chuckles as he turns my wheelchair in the direction of the entrance. “I think there’s a little of the old Sierra in there somewhere.”