Chapter 31
Chapter Thirty-One
Daniil
“Please.” The man tied to the chair in the middle of the brightly lit room begged again.
He tried to move his hands up to beseech me, but the ropes didn’t give.
And even if he could break free, the bones in his arms were shattered.
His fingers were twisted and bloodied. “Please, I don’t know anything. I can’t tell you what I don’t know.”
I pushed the memory aside. It didn’t matter who I spoke to, who I threatened, or who I hurt. They were in the wind. No one knew where they were, and as the days turned into weeks, I was growing more and more frustrated.
How could I ask Lily to heal and get on with her life, our lives, when this was still hanging over our heads? Patience. That’s what Anya told me I had to have, and I was trying, but God, it was hard, especially when Lily was pretending that she was fine.
She wasn’t fine. In fact, if anything, she was getting worse. I rarely heard her laugh anymore, not even around Timothy. She was just going through the motions. I missed her smile. The one she got when she thought no one was paying attention to her.
God, I missed everything about the way she used to be before I sent her away, and they had taken her. Guilt ate me up inside.
And the only way I could deal with it was to hunt. I tore the city apart looking for every single person who hurt her. It beat sitting at home and watching her withdraw into herself second by second.
“You didn’t come home last night.”
The whispered accusation made me pause. Turning my head, I saw Lily, bundled up from throat to ankle, sitting at the very edge of her bed with her hands clasped in her lap.
Hesitating, I sighed before going to her door. “I know.” I leaned against the frame and took her all in. She’d gained a little of the weight back now, but her eyes still looked haunted. There were dark smudges under her eyes, and her cheeks were hollow.
“I know.” Another sigh left my lips as I tore my eyes away from her. “I had some things to take care of. How did you sleep?” I changed the subject because I didn’t want her to worry, which was impossible because I could see from the way her eyes grew cloudy that she was already worried.
Moving into her room, I went to stand next to her. She didn’t lift her head to look at me.
“I see,” she gave a weird little sniffle. Taking her hands, I lifted her to her feet and wrapped one arm around her.
“I am sorry if I worried you, Lily,” I said softly.
“I didn’t mean to do that. Did you sleep well?
” I asked again. I already knew the answer.
She didn’t sleep well at all these days.
Her slumber was full of nightmares that caused her to scream out and cry.
Usually, it woke the whole house up, and I had to stroke her hair and hold her until she calmed down again.
Had that happened again last night? Was that why she was sitting so stiffly in the dark?
“Lily?” I prompted when she didn’t answer me.
“You’ve been gone a lot recently,” she mumbled. And there was a new note in her voice. “And I know that I shouldn’t be jealous because—”
Surprised I held her out at arm’s length and searched her face. “You are jealous?” I queried. “Why are you jealous?”
“I know I haven’t been—” she began to say, and it hit me all in a rush. Throwing back my head, I chuckled. “Oh, sweet Jesus. You think I have another woman?”
Still laughing I pulled her back into my arms. This time, I didn’t hold her loosely.
“Don’t you?” she whispered.
My laughter died. Resting my chin on the top of her head, I sighed again. “No, Lily. I don’t have another woman. I am a one-woman kind of man, believe it or not.” Loosening my grip on her, I tilted her chin up. So she had no choice but to stare into my eyes. I wanted there to be no doubt.
“And you are my woman. My only woman.” I stressed.
“But we haven’t been intimate in ages, and I know you have needs.”
I hated this uncertainty. It was so unlike her.
“My need is for you and you alone. I can wait until you are ready. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that, Lily. And I know you try to pretend not to hear me when I say this to you, but I have real feelings for you.”
She blinked slowly.
“No, that’s not right either,” I added quickly, and my eyes glued themselves to her chapped lips. They were still kissable, though.
Still perfect.
“I am madly and deeply in love with you.” I smiled because her eyes widened. “I don’t expect you to say it back, but I’ll take your jealousy as a good sign.” The corners of her mouth twitched in a half-smile, and I beamed down at her. A smile at last. A real one. I’d take that as well.
“There you are,” I murmured huskily. Lifting my hand, I smoothed my fingers down her cheek. She leaned into my hand for a second before her eyes snapped open and her button nose wrinkled.
“What?” She pulled away slightly. Her fingers brushed against my cheek. “Is that blood?” She stared down at her fingers. “Oh my God, Daniil. Are you bleeding?”
Worry made her voice higher. She grabbed my wrist. Urgently turning it over and over as she searched for a cut.
“I’m fine.” Pulling away from her slightly, I yanked down my jacket sleeve over my shirt. Because there was blood on the cuff. I just hadn’t realized it until now.
“What is this?” She caught my wrist and held it up. Looking at the wet crimson splodge. “Whose blood is this, Daniil?” Her voice shook.
“It’s nothing to worry about. I’m going to jump in the shower and then—”
“Whose blood, Daniil?”
Blowing out a breath, I thought about lying and then thought better of it. She was always hiding things from me, and I hated it. I didn’t want our relationship to be built on secrets.
“It’s not my blood, Lily.” I shrugged off the jacket and began to unbutton my shirt.
“Then,” she swallowed hard, and I wasn’t sure if that was because she had realized what I had just said or because I was stripping off in front of her.
“A bad man’s.” Bundling my dirty clothes up in my hands, I turned towards her. “A man who deserved more than what I did to him because—”
“Because he hurt me?” She asked in a tiny voice.
I nodded my head. “Yes.”
“That’s where you have been disappearing to? You’ve been hunting them all down.”
I nodded once. “Yes. Every single soul that was involved will die. But.” We stood there with no less than a foot between us, but it might as well have been a chasm. She had never felt so far away from me. And only a few minutes ago, it had felt like we were making progress.
“I should never have touched you with their blood on my hands. That was wrong, and it’s something that won’t happen ever again.”
My fingers itched to run down her cheek. My mouth watered with the need to taste her lips again. I wanted Lily to look at me with something other than fear in her dull eyes.
“Have you,” she swallowed hard. Her voice was kind of choking. “Have you found them?”
It might have been my imagination, but I was sure I heard hope in her voice.
“Not all of them. But I will. I swear to you, Lily. I am going to wipe every single one of them off the face of the earth for you.” Losing control, I pulled her into my arms. Crushing her face against my naked chest. “Every single person who hurt you will pay for it.”
“You can’t protect me always, Daniil. That’s not how life works.”
“Maybe not for other people.” I smoothed my hand up and down her back. “But for you. Yes, I can, even if I have to wrap you in cotton wool and lock you away. I will keep you safe from the horrors of this world.”
I meant every single word.
“Greg and—”
“I’ll find them, Lily. I promise you they will never hurt you again. Now we have a few hours before we need to be up. Why don’t you go back to bed and try to rest? It’s an important day today.”
“Ok?” She headed to the far side of the bed. “Are you going to leave?”
“I’m going to shower.”
“I mean after that.” Yanking off her sweatshirt, I eyed the little sliver of skin that was bared hungrily.
I was starving for her, not just for sex, but just to hold her and feel her warm, soft skin against mine.
“I’m not going out again. Honestly, I’m exhausted, and just want to lie down for a few hours before Anya’s big day.”
She nodded her head. Climbing under the covers. I waited for her to turn her back on me like she always did these days, but she kept staring at me, chewing on her already chapped lip.
“Try to get some sleep.” I tore my eyes away from her because looking at her just made me want things that I couldn’t have right now.
“I’ll try, but I sleep better when you are close.” She bit down on her lip so hard that I winced back.
“Would you like me to rest in here with you?” I asked because that’s what it sounded like.
“If you would prefer to.”
“Do you want me to sleep next to you, Lily?” I asked again more forcibly.
She nodded slightly. “Please.”
“Then, I’ll sleep next to you. Let me shower, and I’ll be right out.” I tried and failed to keep the excitement out of my voice.
“You don’t mind?”
I almost laughed, but somehow I kept it back. “No, I don’t mind, Lily. I won’t be more than a few minutes, ok? Get comfortable, and I’ll be right out to hold you.”
“Ok.”
I took the world’s quickest shower, rinsing off any remnants of stale blood before donning clean boxer briefs and climbing into bed with her.
Instantly, she rolled into me. Her face snuggling into my chest.
“You’re so warm,” she murmured. Already, she sounded sleepy. “I always feel better when you’re close.”
My grip tightened. “Then I’ll always have an arm around you, Lily.”
She didn’t answer me. Her breathing grew slow. Smiling to myself, I stared down at her face, smoothing back her hair so I could get a better view.
She was asleep already and safe in my arms, where she belonged. But suddenly, I wasn’t tired at all. It had been so long since she had looked so content. There were no frown lines on her face, so she wasn’t fighting her nightmares.
Now, if only I could make her living nightmares disappear as well.
But to do that, I needed to find the twins and neutralize them.
And her good-for-nothing ex as well. Greg was the one who started all of this, and he would pay.
All I had to do was find him. Then I was going to rip him apart with my own hands.
I would paint the city red with his blood and leave a clear warning for anyone who tried to touch what was mine. Anyone who hurt those I loved would die bloody and screaming.
“I love you.” I pressed my lips to her ruffled hair. “I’m never going to let anything happen to you. You’ll see.” Over and over again, I kissed her hair. “You’ll see. Today I’ll let the whole world know how much you mean to me.”
She muttered something under her breath. It could have been I love you, too, but I could not be sure.
Finally, my eyes grew sleepy. The last few weeks, I’d thrown myself into seeking revenge because it was the only way I could find any peace, but now I knew there was another way as well.
I could find peace here as well. In the arms of the woman I would do anything for.