5. Chapter 5
5
Kelly
I ’m wasn’t sure how I got through dinner. The to-go box in the fridge with the uneaten half of my meal and the fact that I hadn’t ordered dessert were a testament to my lack of appetite. I could still feel Rose’s hand at the base of my neck and how warm it had been in comparison to the cold mirror against the back of my head. My pulse quickened just thinking about it. My fingers twitched.
I had made a B-Line to my bedroom as soon as we’d gotten home, letting Lindsey put the to-go boxes in the fridge. I couldn’t think straight. Rose hadn’t answered me when I asked her who she had feelings for, not out loud, anyway. Based on the way she looked in my eyes, hand on my throat, I knew. She didn’t need to say it.
Rose has feelings for me.
Did Lindsey know? Was that why she had been so vague with me about it when telling me the day before?
Two years.
How could I have possibly gone so long not realizing?
I knew the bubbling feelings of butterflies and flushing I did in her presence were something of a lingering crush from years past, but I’d learned to brush them off, move past. I’d had a boyfriend, a girlfriend, another boyfriend in the last four years since they had been married. Believe you me, none of them ended because of Rose.
Yet, it seemed my sister's marriage might be ending because of Rose’s feelings for me.
I thought she hated me.
It was still hard to believe she didn’t.
I slipped out of my dress idly, unable to think about anything else. Unable to text Emily that I had gotten home safe. All I could do was undress myself while ignoring the burning feelings of guilt in my stomach that threatened to come up my throat.
You have no reason to feel guilty. Rose is the one who has feelings.
I didn’t. Not anymore. Crush, what crush?
That was in the past. It was as minor as an attraction to a stranger in the grocery store.
I was tossing my bra to the side and pulling on an oversized t-shirt when I heard my phone ping from on my bed.
Taking a deep breath, I pulled myself together.
Emily: Home yet?
I stared at my phone in my hand and then brushed my thumb along the screen.
Me: Yeah a few mins ago
With my free hand, I took the bobby pins out of both sides of my hair. I set them on my dresser and searched without looking for a hair tie to put my hair up for the night. I knew my freshly washed curls would last longer if I wrapped them up in a scarf, but I could never bother.
Ping.
Emily: You seemed upset at the restaurant, everything ok?
I sighed.
Me: No, I need to move out. I can’t deal with it here anymore.
Understatement of the year.
I set my phone down to put my hair up and then grabbed it before flopping onto my bed. I’d need to leave my room to take my makeup off, but that could wait.
I stared at the three blinking dots in our chat, waiting for her reply while chewing on the inside of my cheek.
Emily: One of the apartments in my building has a roommate opening
Emily : I’d offer you stay with me but my roommate has really bad anxiety about new people.
I pursed my lips. I could feel my own anxiety creeping up my spine. Living with people I didn’t know? It was hard enough to get used to living with Lindsey and Rose, and they weren’t strangers.
Me: That’s understandable.
Emily: At least come meet them, they’re a bit oddball, but Malak and Taylor are both really nice.
Me: I remember you telling me about them. They just moved in a few months ago right?
Emily: Yep!
I took a deep breath, set my phone to the side and stared up at my ceiling, thinking.
I guess it couldn’t hurt to meet them, especially if I was trying to get out of there as soon as possible. I didn’t know how Lindsey and Rose planned on dealing with things, but suddenly I felt panicked at the idea of figuring out how to continue living with my sister and her wife, who had feelings for me.
“What do you mean, you’re moving out this week?” Lindsey asked, eyes wide.
I had spent all the night before and half of the day at work preparing to let her know. I hadn’t even met the people who might be my roommates yet, but I knew I needed to find my own place within the next week. It’d be with them, or it’d be somewhere else. Either way, I was not going to be in the middle of Lindsey and Rose.
“It’s been long enough. I need to find my own place,” I insisted.
“I told you I would talk to Rose and—” Lindsey started, but I cut her off.
“I know who she has feelings for,” I blurted out. Grateful that in that moment, Rose was still at work.
Lindsey blinked. “What?” she asked.
I looked into her eyes, and my brows furrowed. “I know, Linds.”
I wasn’t sure if she knew it was me, but as her eyes darkened and her arms folded. The way she eyed me, jealously crossing her features. I was sure.
“Oh,” she mumbled, “Did she tell you?”
I tilted my head to the side. “Kind of,” I sighed.
Lindsey’s eyes glistened and her posture grew even more tense. “So, what, she confessed her affections to you, now you’re both just gonna leave and…hit it up or something?” she accused.
My heart jumped. “What?!” I asked, “No! I don’t know what Rose is going to do. That’s up to you. I just need to get out of here. I don’t want to be in the middle of this.”
Lindsey huffed. “Sure,” she mumbled, “Of course it’s you.”
The line of my brow furrowed deeper. “I didn’t do anything.”
Lindsey just looked at me. “You said it. You want to leave in a week, so be gone in a week.”
Just like that, my sister’s glare of frustration caused guilt to burn in my eyes as I watched her turn on her heel and disappear down the hallway.