Chapter 28
Gwen
Unfortunately for me, my plan to push through my feelings and be the best witch I could be failed within hours.
Instead, I was sick in every way. My heart was broken, my mind was whirling, and my stomach had manifested a bug that made me violently ill every time I got out of bed.
I could have gone to the healers for a cure, but I took the illness as a sign from the universe that I needed to rot in my bunk for a few days.
Faith and the rest of my cabinmates filled me in on any information—and gossip—I missed, but it was hard to focus on improving my skills while picking up the pieces of my heart and macramé-ing them back together.
When I was finally back on my feet and able to stomach the rowdy mess hall, Dagmar had news for me: she’d been putting out feelers in town, and there was, indeed, a need for a social media manager in Maple Hollow.
Dagmar had given me the name of the mayor, Billy Bacchus, and said that he had a job for me at the end of the summer, if I wanted it.
I couldn’t bring myself to ask how Dagmar had known that I’d be interested, but if Sabine was going to New York, then I couldn’t go back.
Even in the great unlikelihood that we’d ever run into each other, I couldn’t roam around the city knowing that a piece of my tattered heart was wandering around too.
It was an easy choice to make. I was going to finish my degree online and move to Maple Hollow . . . at least until I was finished with my training and the remaining three summers at SCUW.
After that, who knew what the future held, but I would be a full-fledged witch. I held onto that thought as I picked at my questionably thick apple-cinnamon oatmeal.
Breakfast meant the daily mail call at the end of service, and our cabin counselor plopped down a large box that I instantly knew was from my parents.
Who else would send me a bright blue box with a big yellow sun in sunglasses painted on it?
I took the package back to the steps of the cabin and set it in my lap. This was one of those moments when Mom’s affection actually hurt me because I was determined to be mad at her, but her thoughtfulness was making it really hard.
The free space around the larger objects was stuffed with all my favorite candy.
The rest of the box was packed tight with more toiletries, books, and arts supplies.
I picked up one of the books and read the back cover.
It was a cozy romance that she’d read and liked enough to pass on to me.
In a clear bag was tightly wound elastic string and beads for making friendship bracelets.
Taped to the side of the bag was a finished bracelet that my mother must have made, but it wasn’t imbued with any magic.
“Oh, look, the normie got a care package,” Astrid said as she trotted by with her posse. “I bet it’s full of useless human junk.”
I ignored her.
My mother left so long ago that I wondered if she even remembered what she’d learned here. How could she so willingly send me here when she’d so easily dismissed this life for herself? I couldn’t wrap my head around it.
Anger bubbled up within me.
It was so unfair of her to have kept this from me for so long, and I wasn’t sure I could ever forgive her for it.
Still, I flipped through her letter over and over, wishing there were a hidden apology between the neat lines of cursive.
But all I found was mundane droning on about Dad taking up pickleball, her friend’s hairdresser’s cousin’s new wallpaper, and the latest gossip about the new deli around the corner.
Nothing with feelings or emotions or concerns.
It was as if she’d shut them all down long ago, and now she could only rattle off a play-by-play of other people’s lives.
Why couldn’t she just tell me she was sorry for never telling me I was a witch? Why couldn’t she just reconnect with the family she’d left behind?
Tears pricked my eyes yet again. She was just like Sabine: running and never looking back.
I sniffed and grabbed the fresh pen and notebook from the box. Then, I tore out a piece of paper, and using the care package box as a makeshift desk, I began to write.
Dear Mom,
I don’t know when you’ll get this letter, but apparently, there is a magical way to make it appear right in your house, so maybe it’s instantaneous. Or maybe they don’t want to waste magic on that and this will get to you right before the end of summer, IDK.
Either way, I don’t want you to come pick me up.
I got a job in Maple Hollow. It doesn’t pay much, but they are giving me an apartment, and I apparently get a stipend for food from Midnight Market. Do you remember that place? Is this Billy Bacchus guy as intense as they say?
I’m trying really hard not to be mad at you for keeping all of this from me.
I wish it had been my choice. I wish I’d had a chance to know this part of who I am.
My whole life, I’ve always felt like an outsider, like I never had a real place to call home.
Even answering the question “Where are you from?” felt like an impossible task, but now I know it’s here.
Maple Hollow will be my hometown. I’ve never felt like I belonged more than when I’m in the haunted woods, which I know is crazy, but it’s true.
I want a chance to explore this life, to have a job, to live on my own for a little, and figure out how I’m going to get around to forgiving you for keeping this from me. I want to. I will. I just need some time to wrap my head around all of this.
So don’t come to pick me up.
If you want to visit me, you should come see me in Maple Hollow. I know it’ll be hard, but people will be excited to see you again. For now, I need to do this for myself.
I still love you all the way to the stars.
Gwen
P.S. If Astrid’s mom was half as awful as her daughter, I can’t imagine how terrible it must’ve been being her friend.
P.P.S. Give Dad a hug for me.
I read over my words one more time, then folded the paper into a small rectangle to slip inside the camp designated envelopes.
I stepped into my shoes and headed to the outpost. It was the longest walk I’d taken in days, and my legs felt like they were filled with Jell-O.
I should have rested for a bit longer before hiking across camp, but I’d been wallowing for days.
And if I wanted to be in tip-top shape for the games, then I needed to build up my endurance.
A few other witches were buzzing around, eagerly talking about the end-of-camp party and talent show, another tradition that I was excited to experience.
But I knew it had the potential to cause a run-in with Sabine.
As much as I wished that I’d wake up and find that our breakup—if you could even call it that, since we hadn’t officially started dating—was all a bad dream, I couldn’t fault Sabine for wanting me to make my choice without her influence.
Moving to be with someone was a lot of pressure to put on a new relationship.
Still, I would have gone back to New York City in a heartbeat with her. But then I always would have felt like I’d lost a piece of myself that I’d only just found.
In the end, I had to try to move on.
After dropping the letter to my mom in the box, I turned and took in the last bits of sunlight peeking over the mountains.
While my heart was aching, I couldn’t help but feel the weight of gratitude in my chest. I really was exactly where I was meant to be .
. . even if I still hadn’t mastered my transformation abilities.
A line of six frogs waddled out from under the crawlspace of the rec center when I passed by, croaking and fumbling over one another to make their way toward the lake.
I rolled my eyes and focused on the image of six smooth rocks, but when I opened them, only five toads had obeyed.
The last bounded faster toward the water’s edge, off to join the countless others who had gotten away.
That thought made tears well in my eyes again. Great. Now I was crying over a literal frog, which made it very hard to lie to myself about how “fine” I was with everything. I wiped my eyes with my hoodie sleeves.
Get a grip, Gwen. You’re a badass witch now. And witches don’t cry over runaway frogs.
I hoped no one in Maple Hollow would be offended by my magic’s affinity for amphibians, but just in case, I headed toward the charms class to ask for a quick refresher.
I slipped my mother’s bracelet over my wrist and felt a bit of warmth in my chest when I rubbed the small daisy beads.
Maybe they did have a little bit of magic after all.