Chapter 29
Sabine
Itossed and turned on my thin bunk mattress, telling myself that I just had to hang on a little longer, just get through the end-of-summer games and talent show.
Then I could run far, far away. But time cruelly seemed to slow, the hours stretching long with the mounting threat that I would run into her.
The thought of staying put when I wanted to flee made my skin crawl, and I’d spent every moment of the last week looking around every corner for Gwen.
I’d heard from her cabinmates that she’d come down with the stomach flu, and it wrecked me that I couldn’t bring her soup, cover her in a blanket, or comfort her while she was ill.
But that had been my choice, right? I’d done this to myself.
Maybe I could hide out in my bunk and pretend to be sick until the summer was over too.
Illness or no, I’d still be full-fledged coven member.
My family would be thrilled, and I could just get on with my life and bury my head in the sand and never see anything that reminded me of Gwen ever again, like the very mature witch I was.
Dagmar had informed me that Gwen was going to move to Maple Hollow after the end of camp.
The job and housing had been set in stone within hours of her accepting.
My heart ached at how easily it had all fallen into place, almost like it was inevitable.
I supposed we would bump into each other when I came home for the Halloween Festival and coven holidays.
But I didn’t want to just bump into her and awkwardly catch up a few times a year.
I wanted to be with her. And I’d screwed it all up.
“Fuck.” I buried my face in my pillow. The fabric absorbed the tears as they fell.
I didn’t want to betray myself or my plans for the future, but neither did I want to lose her.
Worse, I hated myself for hurting her. Even if it was the right thing to do for both of us, it was the world’s smallest trophy.
It felt like pouring salt into an open wound every time I thought of her.
The agony was heavier than the burden of being the bigger person, and part of me wished I could take it all back and be small and selfish and keep her as mine.
The screen door of the cabin groaned open, then slammed shut.
“Hey,” Iris called from the doorway, and I heard the floorboards creak as she wandered over and put her hand on my back. “Daggy told me you were sick. I brought some chicken noodle soup, but . . . then I saw Gwen, and I had a feeling this sickness won’t be fixed with soup.”
I sat up and wrapped my arms around my knees, bringing them to my chest. “Is she okay?” I croaked and looked at Iris’s pitying face through blotchy eyes.
“She looks only slightly better than you,” she replied. “Which isn’t a compliment.”
“I didn’t think it was.”
She handed me the oversized mug of soup and produced a plastic spoon from her pocket.
I took a sip. Warm, savory liquid filled my cheeks and heat poured over my tongue then down my throat. Soup in the summer sounded counterintuitive, but the comfort was welcome, regardless.
“What happened?” Iris asked after I’d taken another large gulp.
“We ended things.” I sniffed.
“Why?”
My throat tightened. I didn’t want to have to say it out loud. I didn’t want to admit to any of it because then it would be true.
“Because I’m going to leave Maple Hollow and she wants to stay.”
Iris gave me a sad smile and rubbed the middle of my back in that sisterly way that I never appreciated enough. “I’m really proud of you.”
She didn’t say anything more, and I was grateful for that.
What was done was done. I’d made a mess of things, and I’d just have to live with that forever.
Iris leaned over and hugged me. I sobbed into her shoulder, clinging to her, feeling like a terrible person for needing her and knowing she’d always be there for me, no matter how far apart we were.
“This place is crawling with toads today,” Iris mumbled into the top of my head when I had no more tears left. “Do you know what that’s about?”
I let out a half sob, half giggle that quickly turned into a cathartic belly laugh. “I have a good hunch.”
“Well, Dagmar has all the first years chasing them down because she’s worried that they’ll spawn and overrun us.” Iris snorted. “Could you imagine a horde of toads swarming the Maple Hollow gazebo? Billy would have a fit!”
I laughed harder as I imagined cartoon steam billowing from Billy’s ears as a swarm of toads took over the town square. I almost wanted to stick around to see that, but I knew I needed to avoid running into Gwen before I left for New York City. It would be too hard to leave if I saw her again.
“Billy will have the whole coven armed and ready,” I said, stretching my arms over my head. The moment of lightness was giving me energy. “And you have a new friend in low places who could help you dispatch a few dozen toads,” I goaded.
Iris blushed and wagged a finger at me. “Yup, you seem fine. If you’re well enough to harass me, you’re well enough to clean.”
Groaning, I flopped back onto my mattress. “I need five more minutes. I haven’t even finished my soup.”
“I’ll let Daggy know you’re still under the weather, but if you don’t find a magical solution to your ailment by tomorrow morning, I think she’s going to whip one up for you, and the last thing you want is whatever bitter brew she’s stewing in her cauldron.”
We both shivered.
Dagmar would never use a taste-masking ingredient for a wellness potion. It was her way of ensuring that campers didn’t fake sickness to get out of activities. You were only willing to drink that stuff if you felt truly miserable.
“Thank you, sis,” I called to Iris as she headed toward the door. “Love ya.”
“Love you, Sabi.” She closed the screen door behind her, and I spent the rest of the evening moping in peace while I still could. Because tomorrow I needed to be a chipper camp counselor again, like I hadn’t been carrying around the pieces of my heart in my cargo shorts pocket.
After all, this was my fault.
I’d been trying not to hurt her, and instead, I’d made the last few weeks of camp unbearable for us both.