41. Shiloh #2
“I’m aware. But I wanted you to know. So tomorrow, rather, this morning, you’re going to stay here while this goes down. I can’t wonder if you’re safe and do my job at the same time.”
“I don’t want you to go. I can’t lose you, not after everything.”
He turns his head, and we lock eyes in the dark. “I have to Shy. I know you know that. This is not only my job, but it’s been a long time coming. They’ve hurt and killed a lot of people, either directly or otherwise. Remember Bella Montgomery?” he asks.
I nod. She was a teenager; she wasn’t messing around with the hard stuff, but her friend got the drugs from the Kensingtons and they laced it with fentanyl for a better high. They didn’t know better, and it killed her.
“I can’t let there be anymore Bella’s. I can’t let there be anymore Shiloh’s because these people walk free. I know I can’t control everything, but my job, my calling, is to keep this town safe. I don’t want you to lose me, but I have to do this.”
I roll my lips together, trying to accept the unacceptable.
This will be bloody. There’s no doubt. I’ve met Kensington Sr. He’s relentless and has a penchant for violence.
“What are you trying to tell me?” I rasp.
He sits up on his elbow so we’re nose to nose. “I’m trying to tell you that I love you. And if something happens tomorrow, you’re it for me. There was no going back, Shiloh. The moment I swung you around on that dance floor, I knew.”
I bite my lower lip to keep it from trembling because I have no interest in crying. That’s not what needs to happen right now.
“Why does this feel like a goodbye?” I rasp.
He sighs, reaching for one of my wild curls, looping it around his finger and tugging. “Because it could be.”
I shake my head, too choked up to speak.
He grabs the back of my neck, bringing his mouth to mine.
“I am not naive, or vain enough to think that I’m invincible, honey.
Tomorrow may be my day, and if it is, then I want you to know that I never thought I could love someone the way I love you.
Loving you means happily sacrificing myself for you over and over again so you’re safe.
It’s holding you when you cry, even though it tears me up inside knowing I can’t do anything about it.
It’s telling you I love you when you don’t want to hear it because it scares you. ”
I take a ragged breath. “I was scared. But I’m not anymore. You make me feel like even if the world is on fire, I won’t get burned. I know I’m safe with you.”
“Always,” he rasps, closing the distance between us, kissing me like it could be our last. It’s raw and needy, and heartbreaking.
His large hand grabs my hip, tugging me closer until we’re chest to chest. He sighs, and I can’t help the moan that bubbles from my throat.
“I missed you,” he mumbles.
I nip his lip, rubbing our noses together. “I didn’t think it was possible to miss you so much. I felt like a part of me was missing.”
He huffs. “Weird, right?”
“Yeah. Thank you for taking care of me, and I’ve never been loved that way. No one has ever done that for me. You look at me like I’m the only one that matters.”
“Because you are, baby.”
I huff. “It’s that simple?”
“Yep.”
I grab his mouth again, and he takes control, tongue plundering my mouth, swallowing every moan that searches for his.
His hand drags down my back, reaching my butt and squeezing it. “There is nothing I’d rather do than love you, Shiloh Hayes,” he rasps.
“I love you,” I rasp.
Untangling myself from him, I sit up and pull his hoodie over my head, tossing it to the side. I wasn’t wearing a bra, didn’t have one to put on.
He turns and flips the lamp back on. The soft golden light drapes over his skin. His dark hair glows around the edges as he gazes at me with heavy eyes.
I struggle to comprehend someone loving me the way he looks at me. It radiates from his eyes with every blink.
“Why did you turn the light on?”
“Because I want to see my wife as clearly as I can,” he says, staring openly.
He pushes me onto my back, taking my mouth again, trailing his lips across my jaw down, stopping on my chest.
He groans into my skin, and pulses of heat go through me, collecting in my stomach, and get lower, reaching my belly button, and lingering on my stomach.
“Do you want kids?” he asks.
I snort. “Um, okay, sure, we can have that talk.”
“Do you?” he asks.
“Yes.”
“How many?” he asks.
“I don’t know, I was kind of fine with leaving that one open.”
He grins and kisses my stomach again. “I like that answer.”
“Do you?” I ask him.
“Yeah. I want the big family I grew up with.”
Ledger sits back, dragging a finger over my skin where my waistband sits.
He glances at me, and I nod. With both hands he drags my pants down my body. The friction of the fabric is aggravating. He tosses them to the side, and I widen my legs, and he comes back to my lips.
His mouth is soft, sweet, and possessive.
My hips buck against his boxers, and he groans, dipping his nose into my neck, taking a deep breath. “I love you,” I rasp.
“I love you too,” he says.
“Show me,” I whisper.
He huffs and sits up, pushing his boxers down and returning between my legs.
“You’re so demanding. When are you going to learn I’m in charge,” he grins, kissing each of my cheeks.
I huff. “I let you have the illusion that you’re in control.”
Ledger chuckles. “Is that right?”
“More than you’d like to believe,” I sigh as his hand drags over my chest and pinches my nipple.
“Tell that to your body,” he rumbles.
I snort. “That’s presumptive.”
He growls into my skin. “Is it?”
I pull his face to mine. “No, it’s not because it’s true,” I whisper across his lips.
His hand slips between my thighs, and my head drops back as he moves his fingers.