Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
KEN DOLL has created a group chat.
KEN DOLL has changed the name of the group chat to ‘Operation Get Ezra The Girl’
ME: What the hell is this? We’re literally sitting next to each other at the bar.
KEN DOLL: It’s a group chat because I wanted to be discreet. We’re going to get you the girl.
ME: What girl?
KEN DOLL: Sutton, duh.
CAP: I thought you said Sutton was just a friend.
ME: She IS.
WEBBY: Mmmm, I don’t think so…
MACKEY: Why the fuck am I here?
KEN DOLL: Because we’ve already bonded, and we’re all single.
CAP: Why am *I* here then? I’m not single.
KEN DOLL: Because you’re happily married, and we could use that perspective. I may be the love guru, but if Z wants to wife her up, he needs the help of someone with experience.
ME: I don’t want to wife her up! We’re just friends!
WEBBY: Friends do not stalk each other to find their yoga class, Z.
KEN DOLL: Woah, woah, woah. Yoga class?
ME: That was supposed to stay between us.
WEBBY: Sorry, man.
KEN DOLL: Wait, why wasn’t I invited to yoga?
ME: Because I knew you’d blow it out of proportion and get ideas. Like you’re doing now.
KEN DOLL: I’m trying to help! If you’d just admit you like her, this would be easier. And before you say “she dated my brother” you shouldn’t let that stop you. It’s been ten years. He can get over it.
ME: I *don’t* like her as anything more than a friend.
KEN DOLL: Back me up, gentlemen. We can all see the interest Z has in our athletic trainer, right?
WEBBY: Yup.
CAP: I shouldn’t be involved in this.
CAP: But yes.
KEN DOLL: SEE
MACKEY: You’re looking at her like a sad puppy right now.
I scowl at Mackey from across our booth.
The massive center has his usual scowl on his face and simply shrugs when he notices my look before his eyes drift across the bar.
I thought if anyone would back me up and say this group chat is ridiculous, it would be him.
He seems like a no-nonsense guy, I figured he’d be above team drama and group chats.
He plays the game and goes to the mandatory team bonding activities and that’s it.
In fact, I’m surprised he’s here at all.
I follow his line of sight and find his eyes lingering on Webby’s little sister before he catches me noticing and it snaps back to his phone.
Interesting.
Sutton is at the bar with Isla and Cap’s wife, Clementine. Sutton must know the bartender because she keeps stopping to talk to the group in between making drinks, and Sutton seems at ease with her.
Isla has been chatting away all night, barely letting the others get a word in.
From their body language, though, I don’t think they mind.
Clementine nods along politely, intently listening to Isla’s stories, and Sutton interjects to ask insightful questions.
I think Cap’s wife and our AT will be great friends, once they get to know each other.
Cap’s wife is about the same height as Sutton, while Isla is a good six inches shorter.
Clementine’s hair is black, while Isla’s hair is fiery red like her brother’s, and Sutton’s is golden blonde.
The three of them together almost resemble the Powerpuff Girls, if the Powerpuff girls all wore Knights blue.
After the amusement of that thought, I feel a rush of guilt, watching them interact and wondering if I forced Sutton to come against her will.
I hope she didn’t feel pressured to come because I practically got on my knees and begged her.
She seems fine but maybe I should go check on her?
That will only add fuel to Kendall’s fire and confirm that I’m interested in Sutton.
Which…Fine, maybe I am.
But for once, I’m thinking logically. She works for the team. She’s my brother’s ex. She doesn’t see me that way. Our friendship is more important to me than whatever tiny crush I may have, and ruining it would be more devastating than watching her be with someone else.
Maybe.
When Sutton starts fiddling with the straw in her drink, and her smile looks more forced than it should, I get up from our booth and head in her direction. It’s almost ten, she’s usually in bed by now. I feel more guilt, worried I’ve totally fucked up her routine.
Kendall is busy trying to flirt his way into someone’s bed, so maybe he won’t notice me slipping away.
Hopefully he goes to her place instead of ours so I don’t have to hear it again like last night.
Being dragged out to play wingman, then having to drive them back to our place while they made out in the back like I was their personal chauffeur was… not fun.
As I approach the group, Sutton spots me and a small, genuine smile tips her lips, making my stomach swoop like I just got sacked. Isla follows Sutton’s line of sight and stops mid sentence.
“Hi, Ezra! Great game tonight.”
“Thanks, Isla. Are you ladies having a good time?”
“Of course,” Sutton answers. It sounds genuine, which is good. “We were just talking about our jobs.”
Isla nods enthusiastically. “I find Sutton’s job so interesting, but I don’t think I’d be able to handle stitching up any wounds.” A shudder runs through her. “I have a hard time with blood.”
“It’s not that bad, but I know it’s not for everyone. Clementine’s job is much more bloody, being an emergency room nurse.”
Clementine’s face turns red as the attention is turned on her. The few times I’ve met her, she’s barely spoken. I get the feeling she’s extremely shy.
“Yep, I deal with a lot of blood,” she mumbles, hiding her face behind her curtain of curls.
“I could never. You are so strong for making that your career. Ugh, I wish I were as brave as you two.”
“Putting yourself out there on social media like you do takes a lot of guts. I don’t think I’d ever be able to do that,” Sutton says. She’s so damn supportive of everyone, even though she’s never had anyone else to support her.
“Thank you, Sutton. That’s so kind,” Isla coos, squeezing Sutton’s forearm. “I’m trying to convince Melanie to let me help increase the team’s social media presence and hopefully sell more tickets.”
“We could definitely use that. The stands were more empty than I anticipated.” I check the time on my phone. “I hate to break up your party, but Sutton’s my ride home and I’m beat. I need to get my beauty rest.”
Isla giggles, shaking her head. “No worries. I should probably drag my brother out of here soon, too.”
“I should get Elijah home as well.” Clementine sets her almost full drink on the table. “It was nice to meet you two, maybe we can chat more another time?”
“Yes! It was so good meeting you. See you at the next home game!” Isla wraps Clementine in a hug, which seems to shock her. A small smile tugs at her lips before the shorter woman lets her go, turning to do the same to Sutton. “I’ll see you around, too, Sutton!”
Clementine repeats her goodbyes and walks off toward Cap, while Isla bounces off towards our booth and settles in next to her brother, poking him on the shoulder.
“She seems…” I’m not sure how to word this.
“Bubbly?” Sutton finishes for me.
“Yeah,” I chuckle. “That feels accurate.”
“She’s really sweet, though. Thank you for inviting me out.”
“For sure. You deserve to celebrate the win, too. But I wasn’t lying about wanting to head home and needing a ride.”
“Where’s your car?”
“I got a ride with Kendall to the game, and then here, but as you can see,” I motion towards where he’s sucking face with a blonde woman, “He’s a bit preoccupied.”
“Well, that’s… good for him, I guess. Let’s get out of here.”
After saying goodbye to everyone, I shoot Kendall a text to let him know Sutton is taking me home. He stops making out with the girl long enough to give me a sly smirk, and bounce his eyebrows. I roll my eyes at him, and flip him off as I leave, which only makes him laugh.
So maybe he is right about my feelings—not that I’d ever admit it to him. That doesn’t mean I’ll act on them. I’m not looking for a warm body to hook up with, I want the real deal. I want the relationship, the engagement ring, the wedding, the house.
I want it all, and the more time I spend with Sutton, the more I realize…
I want it with her.
“What are you doing tomorrow?” I ask her as we ascend to our floor.
“My best friend Dakota is stopping by to give me something, but other than that, nothing much. Meal prepping, planning my schedule for the week, laundry, probably. What about you?”
“Laundry for sure. I might invite the guys to come play some video games again. I was thinking about checking out this deli downtown for lunch. Apparently they have the best pastrami on rye in Utah, some people even say it’s comparable to New York’s delis.”
“Really? I haven’t ventured out much. I’ve heard Salt Lake has a really good food scene, but I get so overwhelmed by the options, I always end up at the same places.”
The invitation for her to join me is on the tip of my tongue, but I don’t want to interrupt her time with her friend. I don’t want to ask her and make her feel like she can’t say no. We step off the elevator and head in the direction of our apartments.
“I don’t get that,” I say. “I never eat at the same place twice in a row, even if I love it. There are too many places to limit myself to a few.”
“If you don’t go to the same place two times in a row, do you ever go back?”
“Oh yeah. I keep a list in my phone of places I’ve tried with what I ordered and my rating out of ten. Anything above a six I’m willing to try again when the mood strikes.”
We reach our respective doors, stopping to turn and face each other.
I know it’s late, and both of us are exhausted, but I rue the fact we have to go our separate ways.
Sure, we’re only separated by plaster, sheetrock, and insulation, but with the way I crave being around her, you’d think it was a fucking ocean.
This is pathetic, man. Cut your losses and move on.
“I like that. You may have to teach me your ways, or share your list with me so I know what’s good.” She yawns, covering her mouth with the back of her hand.
Fucking adorable.
“I’ll share my list with you anytime. Go to sleep, Sutt. I’ll see you later.”
“Okay,” she grumbles. “Goodnight Ez. Good game tonight.”
“Thanks. Sleep tight.”
I pretend to enter the same time she does, but I wait until her door is shut and I hear the deadbolt engage before I slip inside my own apartment.
My imagination runs away with me as I shower and get ready for bed. I picture me and Sutton stumbling in through the front door, her giggles brightening the space as I kiss all over her gorgeous face. We’d shuck our coats and shoes, and she’d hang her purse by the front door.
We’d take a shower together, trading sweet kisses and teasing touches that wouldn’t lead to anything more.
I’d wash her hair and her body, and she’d return the favor, then she’d do what is likely a twelve step skincare routine, while I stood in the bathroom doorway and watched her with hearts in my eyes.
When it was time to crawl into bed, she’d pick whatever side she likes to sleep on, and I wouldn’t complain because I know for a fact I’ll end up snuggling into her lush body anyway. We’d kiss in the dark before she’d finally lay on my chest and we’d fall asleep.
The ache in my chest deepens at the images. They plague me as I try to drift to sleep, and when it finally pulls me under, my dreams are the same as my thoughts.
Like a carrot dangling in front of a rabbit, I dream of a future I won’t have, with a woman I will never be with.