Chapter 26
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
OPERATION GET EZRA AND SUTTON TOGETHER FOR REAL
KEN DOLL: Anyone else think something happened after sushi? Z’s been acting pretty suspicious.
ME: Nothing happened.
KEN DOLL: I can smell the lies through the text.
MACKEY: That’s not what it looked like on the roof.
KEN DOLL: Oooo you brought Sutton up to the makeout roof? Under the gazebo lights watching the sunset? How romantic. Perfect time for a first kiss. Please tell me you kissed her.
WEBBY: Wait, Mackey, why were YOU on the roof?
ME: That’s a great question. Let’s all inquire about Mackey’s love life now.
KEN DOLL: Mackey’s love life?
MACKEY: Fuck you, Z.
KEN DOLL: Focus people. Did it look like you interrupted something? A kiss perhaps???
MACKEY: Yes.
ME: No.
KEN DOLL: …
ME: NO.
WEBBY: Kind of feels like he interrupted something.
ME: I’d rather talk about why Mackey was on the makeout roof.
MACKEY: You’re a jackass.
KEN DOLL: I was going to say we should be focusing on Z, but your answers are making me think we should be asking you some questions, Mackey.
CAP: Will you all go to sleep? We have a game in two days.
KEN DOLL: Sorry grandpa. Didn’t realize we were interrupting your beauty sleep.
CAP: SHUT. UP.
KEN DOLL: This conversation isn’t over, gentlemen!
It’s been a week since Sutton and I kissed on the rooftop, and sometimes I wonder if it ever actually happened.
We still went to pottery class together and made my cereal bowl, but other than her face turning red whenever I look at her a little too long, it’s like nothing’s changed.
At least, not on her end.
Everything is different for me now. My desire for her has only grown, far beyond sex, not that it was only about sex to begin with.
I’ve never felt more like myself than when I am around her.
I want to tell her every single thing about my day, and hear the minute details of hers.
We see each other every day at work, and pottery class, and still I want more.
Most nights, I have to stop myself from going over and asking if I can simply sit with her while she does whatever she needs to.
I want to touch her, not in a sexual way—well not only in a sexual way—I want to cuddle.
I want to hold her hand in the car, and brush a kiss against her lips when we say goodnight.
I don’t know how to broach what happened last weekend because I don’t want to bring it up only for her to tell me it was a mistake. But how long can I go without bringing it up? I don’t want her to think I regret it. That couldn’t be further from the truth.
Our brief makeout session completely rewired my brain chemistry.
It may as well have been my first kiss for how much I’ve been thinking about it.
I can’t get the feel of her pressed against me out of my head.
The way her lips felt against mine, the blaring heat from her tongue, and the little gasps and moans she tried to keep in check but couldn’t…
I’ve been struggling to think about literally anything else, which isn’t great because we’re in the middle of the season.
We have a game tomorrow against the team from Connecticut, which means we’ll be a hop, skip, and jump away from our home town.
I’m sure she’s feeling just as nervous as I am being so close to family.
I’ve been putting off asking my parents and siblings if they’re going to come since it’s the closest team in the league, and it wouldn’t be far for them to drive.
When I expressed my disappointment that I can’t find the nerve to ask them to come, Sutton assured me everything would be okay. She reminded me it’s on them to make the effort to come, and if they don’t show up, it’s their loss.
Knowing she’ll be there, even if they don’t come, makes it easier. Having her reassurance helps me feel the ache of disappointment less.
I’m packing for our away game when there’s a knock on my door. Kendall said he was stopping by and forgot his key, but my best friend isn’t at the door.
Well, Kendall isn’t at the door.
I’d never tell him I consider them both my best friends now, but in my head, Sutton is at the top of my list. It probably doesn’t help that I want to kiss Sutton’s plush lips and cuddle against her sumptuous body. Kendall isn’t nearly as soft.
The smile on my face drops when I see the way Sutton’s folded in on herself. Awareness prickles my spine, telling me something is wrong.
“Hey, come in. Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m okay. But… you might be upset with me after I tell you what I need to say,” she mumbles, avoiding eye contact as she paces the floor behind my couch.
I realize this might be the conversation I’ve been dreading. Is she about to tell me our kiss was a mistake, and she doesn’t have feelings for me? Am I about to have to get over her while seeing her every day at work?
Fuck. I hope not.
“Hey, it’s okay. Whatever’s going on, just tell me, we’ll figure it out. Together.” I gently grip her arms, stopping her anxious footsteps. She leans into my touch, resting her forehead on my chest.
“You might not want to after I tell you.” She looks up at me with so much anxiety in her eyes.
I want to take it all away from her. I hate when she hurts.
It makes my protective instincts rage. I don’t even care that what’s hurting her is something that may hurt me, because I’d gladly hurt if it means she doesn’t.
Guiding her to the couch and sitting us down, I reach for her hands and give them a gentle squeeze. “You can tell me anything, Sutt. Anything.”
She takes a deep breath, steeling herself before she starts to explain in a timid voice, “Last week, when I looked at the schedule for our games, I started thinking about how sad you were when your family didn’t come to your first home game.
It was heartbreaking, Ez, and they should have been there to support you.
” She squeezes my hands, and the protective fury in her eyes warms my heart.
“When I saw we were playing in Connecticut, I… I called your parents. I still had their numbers memorized. I wasn’t sure if they had the same ones or not, but I figured I could at least try.”
She swallows, her eyes locked firmly on where our hands touch.
Dread pools in my stomach, waiting for her to continue.
“Imagine my surprise when they answered. We chatted for a bit and caught up, and I… I told them they should come to the game. They said they weren’t sure if they could make it, but that they would try.
I asked them to tell Kylie, too, and Davis.
They said they’d pass along the message and see what they could do.
” At my silence she rushes on, “I’m sorry if I overstepped. I called them before the rooftop and—”
“Our kiss?”
“Yeah,” she whispers, clearing her throat.
“That made me feel even more guilty. I’ve been sick all week over this—over calling them without making sure it was okay with you.
I don’t know if they’ll show up so I wasn’t going to say anything, but I don’t want to keep secrets from you.
You deserve honesty. I’m sorry for telling you with only twenty-four hours notice, and I totally understand if you never want to see me again. ”
I balk at the insinuation, my spine snapping straight, and my brows furrowing in anger. She must take it as confirmation of her fear, because she nods morosely before trying to stand. I grip her wrist gently, halting her movements. “No, Sutton, stop. I’m not mad at you.”
“But—”
“I’m upset you’d think I’d never want to see you again, not because you called my parents and invited them to my game.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Sutt, you’re… you’re my best friend.
Not seeing you ever again would hurt more than my parents not coming to another game.
Do I wish they would come to one? Absolutely, but I’ve long since given up the hope that they’d change their minds about my career.
If they come tomorrow, great, if they don’t, it won’t be any different than before. ”
“You’re not upset that I went behind your back, though?”
“Not even a little,” I say earnestly. “In fact, it makes me happy knowing just how much you care. No one’s ever gone to those lengths for me before, and you doing it goes to show that you see through the air of indifference I put on when it comes to my family.”
Just when I didn’t think my feelings for this woman could get any stronger, she goes and does this.
“You deserve the world, Ezra. I just want them to see it.”
“Thank you for trying. Was it awkward?” I ask with a laugh.
She cringes as she nods. “Yeah, it was weird. They asked a lot of very personal questions about if I’m married or dating anyone. I know it’s probably because they haven’t heard from me in a decade, and they’re curious, but after last weekend…”
“Well, you know how parents are. Always asking when you’ll settle down and have kids. If you and Davis had gotten married, I bet you’d have at least three kids by now.”
And I would never know what your lips feel like.
“Oh god, you’re right. Can you imagine?”
The thought of her with my brother again makes me want to vomit, but I laugh and brush it off.
“I’m not even sure I want to have kids. I love working, and I don’t want to have to give up my career to stay home.”
I can picture Sutton as a mom. She’d be a great one, if that’s what she wants, but I also can’t picture her staying home every day. She’s excellent at her job, and she clearly loves it.
“You shouldn’t have to, anyway. You should be able to work and have kids if that’s what you want.”
“Well unfortunately, finding a husband who wants to be a stay at home dad is like finding a needle in about a thousand haystacks.”