Chapter 28
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
OPERATION GET EZRA AND SUTTON TOGETHER FOR REAL
KEN DOLL: Do you think dinner with your family will be awkward since your brother’s boned Sutton?
ME: God, Ken, really?
WEBBY: I bet it’ll be fine. It’s been what, ten years?
KEN DOLL: You never forget your first.
KEN DOLL: I still remember mine...
ME: Here we go…
KEN DOLL: Maya Gutierrez, junior year of high school.
My parents were away at one of Morgan’s football things and I snuck her into my room.
I had candles and rose petals—real romantic shit.
I only lasted twenty seconds, and I didn’t make her come, but it was good as far as first times go.
Don’t worry, I made it up to her later after extensive research.
MACKEY: Lucky her.
KEN DOLL: I know right? I’m such a gentleman, even when I was still figuring out the ropes.
KEN DOLL: Anyway, have fun at dinner, Z! Try not to think too much about how your brother knows what she looks like naked.
ME:
Nothing like coming off a high of winning, only to be squished in the back seat with my brother and his ex.
His ex who may or may not be my dream girl.
His ex, who, even though she’s been traveling all day and is wearing a polo and work pants, looks stunning.
I’m not the only one who notices, either.
The entire drive to the restaurant, Davis had his thigh pressed up against Sutton’s.
He insisted she sit in the middle since she’s the shortest, but I know his game.
I remember how he is when he has a crush.
I know what he’s like when he has a crush on Sutton, and it seems my dear older brother hasn’t gotten over her in the past decade.
When we were seated at the restaurant, Davis immediately took the seat to Sutton’s left, while Mom took the seat on her right, leaving me to sit across from her at the round table. I won’t complain too much, because the view I have of her is lovely.
But it means I’ve had to watch Davis blatantly flirt with her for the past forty minutes as we ordered and waited for our food.
Sutton has been polite, but hasn’t shown any interest in rekindling their past romantic feelings.
I won’t lie and say I’m not relieved, because a small part of me worried she’d see him again any progress we’d been making would fly out the window.
Even though she told me she doesn't have any feelings for him anymore, it’s hard to truly mean that if you haven’t seen the person in ten years.
I believe her now, though. Knowing what she looks like when she’s comfortable and relaxed helps settle the jealousy burning up my esophagus every time Davis looks at her with hearts in his eyes.
How can I blame him though? I’ve been looking at her the same way for weeks.
The difference is, I know Sutton now. She’s not the girl she was a decade ago, and Davis doesn’t know the strength she possesses.
He doesn’t know the quick wit, and the vulnerability I’ve seen.
He hasn’t seen how hard she works or the determination in her brow when she’s faced with something she struggles with.
My brother is too absorbed in his work, too focused on his own dreams. He wouldn’t be able to give Sutton the attention she needs—that she deserves.
Like you can?
The voice in my head that still feels like I’m not worthy of the woman across from me, is getting a little quieter in its criticisms lately because I know I can.
I’ve shown up for her in the ways I can over the past few months, and I’m more sure than ever I would do anything to help her reach her dreams.
Even if it means giving up professional rugby.
I was awake all night last night, thinking about our conversation and trying to find a solution to our problem.
She’s obviously terrified of losing her job.
A job she’s worked her ass off to get. A job she loves and excels at.
It led me to ask myself: would I be willing to be traded to a new team so Sutton could keep her job?
No. Because that would mean being further from the woman I’m falling in love with.
Then, I asked myself if I’d give up playing for her, and the answer was an easy yes.
There are other ways I can be involved in rugby.
Our team owner, Mr. Solomon, has a sister who runs a non-profit that helps run kids sports teams. They’re a big sponsor of the Knights, and will be running our summer kids program come June.
I could teach, or coach, or maybe even find a job with them.
Anything if it means I can be with Sutton and she can keep her dream job.
It would suck not to be able to play still, but nothing is more important to me than her happiness, and being with her would make me happy. I know she’d never ask me to quit, but I’d do it if it was the better option.
Sutton pushes around her brussel sprouts, her eyes firmly on her plate as my parents interrogate her about her life and what she’s been up to.
She answers their questions gracefully, but the droop of her shoulders and strained smile tell me she’s getting overwhelmed.
If they hadn’t driven us, I would make an excuse to leave.
I still could, I guess. I can call a rideshare and get us back to the hotel, say Coach told us we need to be back earlier.
“I need to use the restroom. If you’ll excuse me,” Sutton mutters, pushing her chair back and walking away from the table.
Three sets of eyes snap to me, and I freeze with my water glass tipped up to my mouth as I take a drink.
Mom has a look on her face that tells me she’s about to drop a truth bomb I’m not ready for.
Davis and Dad have similar looks on their faces, but Dad’s face is pinched in a pityting wince and Davis’s is in a pissed glare.
At me.
“So, how long have you been in love with Sutton?” Mom asks, not even giving me the courtesy of being subtle.
I choke on my sip of water, sputtering denials and exasperations. “What are you talking about?”
“Ezra, don’t play dumb,” my brother scoffs, crossing his arms. “You’ve been looking at her with hearts in your eyes all night. In fact, you’ve barely looked away from her.”
“I’m your mom, honey. I know what you look like when you’ve got a crush, and how you look and talk about Sutton it’s clear your feelings have gone way past that.”
My face heats as embarrassment prickles up my spine. Am I that obvious? I’ve always been the type to wear my emotions on my sleeve, so I should have known it would be my downfall.
“She looks at you the same way. Talks about you with the same doe-eyed, smitten expression. So how long?” Davis mutters.
How much am I going to tell them? How much can I tell them? Sutton and I haven’t discussed any of this. I don’t want to embarrass, or upset her, and I definitely don’t want to speak for her.
“I’ve been falling for her since her first day over two months ago,” I admit softly, turning to Davis. “Look I know she’s your ex, nothing was supposed to happen.”
“But something did happen?” Dad asks.
“Of course it did,” Davis answers for me, his tone laced with irritation. “I’ve never seen him so enchanted by someone. It would be impossible for his impulsive ass not to make a move.”
“You have no idea what I look like when I’m enchanted. You never cared enough to get to know me.” I can’t quite control the agitation in my tone. How dare he insinuate he knows me, when it’s been so long since he’s even seen me.
“Ezra, your brother’s been busy with school. It’s not his fault you decided to move across the country to play rugby for a living. If you’d chosen a sensible career closer, instead of—”
“Stop,” I whisper harshly. Taking a deep breath, I try to keep my tone calm as I continue.
“I know Davis is the golden child. I know you hate my career, and until Sutton joined the staff, I was actually considering quitting. Do you know what one of the first things she said to me was when we saw each other again?” At my family’s lack of response, I push on.
“She said she was proud of me. When was the last time any of you told me that?”
Mom looks away, knowing she can’t remember.
I can’t either. “She’s been a light in my life since we reconnected,” I continue.
“And yes, my feelings for her are deeper than a simple friendship, but I wouldn’t have done a single thing to risk it if I didn’t think she felt even a smidgen of what I feel for her.
I’d rather cut my heart out and bleed to death than lose her.
She’s the only one who’s ever believed in me. ”
Tears shimmer in my mom’s eyes as regret washes over her features. Davis and my dad look rightfully chastised, and I feel lighter after getting it off my chest. For as long as I’ve tried to make rugby my career, I’ve kept my mouth shut when they’d make their comments about my choices.
Sutton’s unwavering pride in me has helped me find my voice, apparently.
Another thing to add to the endless list of things I’m grateful for about her.
“I’m sorry, Ezra,” Mom whispers as she swipes away the wetness from her eyes.
“I’m so sorry. We… I thought we were helping, but it’s clear we’ve just hurt you.
We should have been supportive. We are proud of you.
Watching you play tonight showed us how far you’ve come, and I’m so sorry we weren’t there the whole time. ”
“We’re proud of him for going after my ex-fiance?” Davis snaps. “What the actual–”
“Davis—” My mother interrupts.
“No. You know what? I’m not going to sit here and be the bad guy when you,” he gestures toward me, “are the one who’s in the wrong. I’ll meet you at the car.” My brother tosses his napkin down, storming out of the restaurant.