10. Sha’nelle Harper #4
It was never enough for him to let me have a minute to think.
If I blocked him, he found another way to get to me.
If I walked away from an argument, he followed me.
If I told him I needed space, the nigga decided what I really needed was his ass showin’ up wherever I was.
And the fucked up part was that my heart was racin’ ‘cause he was here.
I hated that shit….
I hated that after everything we had been through, just knowin’ Renza was somewhere in my city had my whole mind switchin’ gears.
I had literally just been laid up in bed with Couture.
I had spent the day meetin’ his mama and Justice, and I had just been thinkin’ about how much I was gon’ miss him when he left for work.
Now Renza was outside my mama’s house, and somehow his ass had managed to pull me right back into our bullshit without even speakin’ to me.
I ain’t unblock him yet ‘cause I already knew what would happen if I did. The second those calls started comin’ through, I would have to deal with him before I was ready, and I damn sure wasn’t about to stand in Couture’s bathroom whisperin’ on the phone with Renza.
I finished usin’ the bathroom and cleaned myself up, but my thoughts was everywhere. I stood in front of the mirror for a few seconds, lookin’ at myself while I tried to figure out how the hell I was about to walk back in that bedroom without Couture knowin’ somethin’ was wrong.
There wasn’t no time to sit here and think up some perfect explanation either. My mama wanted me home, Renza was outside her house, and I knew both they asses well enough to believe that the situation was gon’ stay calm all night.
I opened the bathroom door and walked back in the bedroom.
Couture was still in bed, but the second he looked at me, his expression changed. “What’s wrong, baby?” he asked while watchin’ me walk toward my clothes.
“My mama been callin’ me,” I explained as I started gatherin’ everything from the floor. “Somethin’ goin’ on with my family, so I gotta go home.”
Couture pushed the covers back and started gettin’ out the bed. “You need me to come with you?”
The question made guilt hit me so damn hard that I had to look down at the clothes in my hands.
“Nah, baby, you good,” I assured him, keepin’ my voice as normal as I could. “I’m just gon’ go see what’s goin’ on. I’ll call you when I get home and let you know everything straight.”
He looked at me for a second, and I could tell he ain’t like the idea of me leavin’ all of a sudden in the middle of the night. Couture wasn’t stupid, but he also wasn’t the type to stand in front of the door demandin’ answers when I told him I needed to handle somethin’ with my family.
“A’ight,” Couture finally replied as he walked over to me. “Just call me when you get there.”
“I will, baby,” I promised as I looked up at him.
Couture wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close before kissin’ me. I kissed him back, and for a second, I felt even worse ‘cause this man had no clue what I was actually about to walk into.
When he pulled away, his hand stayed against my waist. “I’m gon’ be up for a while,” Couture told me. “If you need me, call me. I’m comin’.”
“Okay, baby,” I replied soft as I nodded, even though the guilt sittin’ in my stomach had got worse.
I got dressed while Couture stayed close, and once I had everything I needed, I grabbed my purse and keys. He kissed me one more time before I left, and I hated how normal everything between us felt while I was walkin’ out his door ‘cause my mind was already somewhere else.
By the time I made it through the parkin’ lot, my nerves was bad as hell.
I unlocked my car, climbed inside and shut the door before droppin’ my purse in the passenger seat. Instead of startin’ the car right away, I sat here with my phone in my hand.
I knew exactly what I needed to check…
I went into my settings and pulled up my blocked numbers. Renza’s number was right there, and I stared at it longer than I needed to.
I couldn’t believe his ass was in Greystone City. More than that, I couldn’t believe we was still doin’ this bullshit.
Every time I thought me and Renza had finally reached the point where we needed to leave each other alone, one of us ended up right back in the other one’s face. I loved that nigga, and I wasn’t gon’ lie to myself about it, but love ain’t magically fix none of the shit that was wrong between us.
I had Couture in my life now too, and unlike Renza, Couture hadn’t given me a reason to keep runnin’ away from what we had. He loved on me, respected me and was slowly bringin’ me deeper into his life. I had just sat in his mama’s house today and met the people closest to him.
Yet here I was, sittin’ in my car with my finger hoverin’ over Renza’s blocked number ‘cause the nigga still knew how to turn my whole damn world upside down from another place.
Finally, I unblocked him, but I ain’t call his ass and I damn sure wasn’t about to text him.
I tossed my phone in the passenger seat, started my car and pulled out of Couture’s parkin’ lot, unsure of what the fuck I was about to walk into once I made it home.