11. Sha’nelle Harper #4
“I need to get my purse,” I told him while smoothin’ my shorts down.
The look on his face changed just enough for me to know he was happy, but thankfully, he ain’t start grinnin’ and gettin’ on my nerves.
“A’ight,” he replied as he moved out my way.
I rolled my eyes at him anyway ‘cause I needed him to understand that this wasn’t no damn victory.
“And wipe that look off yo’ face ‘cause I said I’m comin’ to spend some time with you. I ain’t say shit else.”
“I ain’t even said nothin’, ‘Nelle,” he told me, but I could hear the smile in his voice as I walked away.
Once I got to the back, I closed the door halfway and stood in front of my dresser for a second. I really couldn’t believe my ass was about to go somewhere with Renza.
After all the shit I had talked and all the times I told myself I wasn’t lettin’ him pull me back in, all it took was four days of that nigga bein’ persistent and one mornin’ of him standin’ in my mama living room lookin’ too damn good.
I grabbed my purse from the dresser and checked inside to make sure I had everything I needed. My phone was already in my hand, and for a second, I looked down at the screen before puttin’ it inside my purse.
This wasn’t me choosin’ Renza. At least, that was what I told myself.
I wasn’t goin’ back to Trill-Land with him.
I wasn’t packin’ my shit, and I wasn’t makin’ him no promises about what was gon’ happen between us.
I was simply tired of fightin’ with this man every time he came around, and if spendin’ a lil’ time with him got him to calm his ass down, then that was all this was.
At least, that was what I wanted it to be…
When I walked back into the livin’ room, Renza was waitin’ near the front door. His eyes dropped to my purse before movin’ back to my face, and he reached for the door without makin’ a big deal out of the fact that I had actually agreed to leave with him.
“You got everything?” He asked as he opened the door and stepped to the side for me.
“Yeah, I got it,” I answered while walkin’ past him.
Renza followed me outside and waited while I locked the door. Once I was done, we headed toward the black rental parked by the street, and I could feel him lookin’ at me even though I kept my eyes forward.
When we reached the passenger side, he stepped ahead of me and opened the door.
I looked at him for a second ‘cause the nigga had been doin’ lil’ shit like this since I first started fuckin’ with him. Even when he was gettin’ on my last nerve, Renza still moved the same way with me.
“Thank you,” I told him before gettin’ inside.
“You welcome, baby,” he replied before closin’ the door for me.
That damn baby almost made me turn around and tell him not to start, but I kept my mouth shut.
He walked around the front of the rental and got in the driver’s seat. Once he closed his door, his cologne filled the car even more, and I looked out the passenger window ‘cause I refused to sit here starin’ at him.
He started the car, adjusted himself in the seat and rested one hand on the wheel before pullin’ away from the curb.
For the first few minutes, neither one of us said nothin’.
He had some music playin’ low, and he drove through my neighborhood like he wasn’t in no rush to get wherever he was takin’ me.
Every once in a while, I would glance over without meanin’ to, and the way he sat behind the wheel was gettin’ on my nerves too.
One hand stayed on the wheel while he leaned back comfortably in the seat, and every time we stopped at a light, his fingers tapped against his thigh with the music. He looked relaxed as hell now that he finally had me in the car.
The fucked up part was, I ain’t even know where the fuck we was goin’.
I had walked out my mama house, got in this nigga car and let him drive off without askin’ a single question about where he was takin’ me. That realization should’ve made me tell him to turn around, but instead, I sat here lookin’ out the window while Greystone City moved past us.
I knew Renza, and that was the problem with all of this shit.
I knew how he loved me when shit was good between us, and I knew how easy it was for me to fall back into bein’ comfortable with him. I also knew that spendin’ time with him wasn’t gon’ magically fix what happened between us, which was why I needed to keep my damn head on straight.
But when I glanced over again and saw him drivin’ with that calm ass look on his face, I already knew I had made this harder on myself.
I shifted in my seat and looked back out the window, feelin’ that familiar nervousness sittin’ in my stomach ‘cause I knew Renza well enough to understand what had just happened.
This nigga had finally worn me down…
I ain’t know what was gon’ happen when we got wherever he was takin’ me, and I damn sure wasn’t ready to admit that a part of me wanted to find out.
All I knew was I had let Renza get close enough to sink his teeth back into me, and now I had to figure out whether I was really strong enough to pull myself away again.