Solé Gardens
“Renza! Get the fuck up!” I heard a voice call me out my sleep while somebody shoved at my shoulder hard enough to make my whole body move.
I opened my eyes slow and stared at the ceilin’ while my head pounded from all the liquor and weed I had put in my system the night before. For a second, I ain’t know where the hell I was. Then I felt the sheets under me, smelled Reni’s perfume in the room and remembered I was still at her condo.
I was supposed to drop her off and take my ass home last night. That was the whole plan when I picked her up from the club. I had already been drunk, high and deep in my feelin’s over Sha’Nelle, and I ain’t intend on makin’ the night more complicated than it already was.
Then Reni started rubbin’ on my dick in the truck, and one thing led to another. By the time everything was over, I was too fucked up and tired to drive anywhere, so I stayed.
Now she was standin’ beside the bed in a T-shirt with her hair all over her head, lookin’ like she had been up for a minute and got madder every second I stayed sleep.
“What’s wrong with you?” I asked while rubbin’ both hands down my face.
“What’s wrong with me?” Reni repeated, her voice risin’ while she held her phone tight in one hand. “You need to ask yourself what the fuck wrong with you.”
I pushed myself up against the headboard and squinted at her through the ache sittin’ behind my eyes. “Reni, what is you talkin’ about?”
She stared at me like she couldn’t believe I had the nerve to ask. Her face was already red, and tears was sittin’ in her eyes even though she looked like she was doin’ everything she could not to let ‘em fall.
“Sha’Nelle… the ghetto bitch you brought around me… she hit me up,” Reni said, throwin’ the name at me like she expected it to wake me up faster than the shovin’ did.
It worked…
My eyes cleared a lil’ while I looked at her. “Sha’Nelle did what?”
“She hit me up,” Reni repeated.
I stared at her for a second ‘cause the shit ain’t make no sense.
Sha’Nelle had been givin’ me silence for a month.
She was still dealin’ with that hoe ass nigga, still postin’ on social media like everything in her life was good and still actin’ like I was the one she needed distance from.
Now she had found Reni and started sendin’ her shit?
“How the hell she even know you was with me?” I asked.
Reni’s face twisted in disbelief. “That’s what you worried about?”
“I’m tryna figure out what the fuck happened,” I replied while swingin’ my legs over the side of the bed. “You woke me up screamin’ about some shit I ain’t know was goin’ on.”
Reni held her phone up like she wanted to throw it at me. “She knew too damn much, Renza. She knew about me bein’ pregnant. She knew about the abortion, and she said you was laid up with her when I was callin’ you. Then this hoe sent me all types of pictures and videos of y’all!”
I looked down at the floor while everything started comin’ back to me.
I had told Sha’Nelle what happened with Reni ‘cause that whole situation had fucked with me. I ain’t sit around givin’ her every detail, but I had spoke on it.
At the time, I ain’t think she would ever take that shit and throw it in Reni’s face.
Reni watched me process it and let out a broken laugh. “So you did tell her.”
“I told her some shit that happened in my life,” I answered as I stood up. “I ain’t tell her so she could come back and use it against you.”
“You shouldn’t have been talkin’ about me to that bitch at all!” Reni snapped. “Especially not about somethin’ like that.”
I walked in the bathroom before I said somethin’ outta irritation. My head was still poundin’, my mouth felt dry and I needed a second to wake up enough to understand how the fuck my mornin’ had turned into this.
Reni kept goin’ from the bedroom while I used the bathroom.
“I was around that bitch, Renza!” She called out. “Me and you went out with her and that white dude, and the whole time y’all was messin’ around behind my fuckin’ back!”
“We wasn’t messin’ around behind yo’ back,” I said while flushin’ the toilet.
When I walked back in the room, she was in the same spot with tears finally runnin’ down her face. I grabbed my briefs from the floor and stepped in ‘em while rubbin’ my beard.
“I never cheated on you with Sha’Nelle,” I told her. “I ain’t start fuckin’ with her until after me and you was done.”
Reni wiped under her eyes with the back of her hand. “That don’t make this shit no better!”
“How it don’t?”
“Because you had her around me!” She answered. “You had me sittin’ across from a bitch you wanted, and I ain’t know shit about it!”
“I ain’t want her like that when we was together,” I replied. “Whatever happened between me and ‘Nelle happened after us.”
“You expect me to believe that when she got videos and pictures of y’all all over each other?” Reni asked. “She sent me videos of you kissin’ her, holdin’ her hand and talkin’ about marryin’ her. Then she told me you was with her while I was pregnant.”
I let out a breath and looked toward the wall ‘cause I could already tell there wasn’t no answer I could give that was gon’ make her feel better. She had decided the whole timeline was a lie ‘cause Sha’Nelle had dropped enough shit in her lap to make everything look ugly.
“A’ight,” I said while reachin’ for my pants.
Reni stared at me. “A’ight?”
“I don’t know what else you want me to say,” I replied as I pulled my pants up. “I’m tellin’ you I ain’t cheat on you. If you decided I’m lyin’, we gon’ keep goin’ in circles.”
“You always do that,” Reni said while wipin’ more tears away. “You act like somebody crazy when you don’t wanna deal with what you did.”
“I ain’t call you crazy.”
“You don’t have to. You stand there calm while I’m cryin’ like none of this got shit to do with you!”
I looked at her and felt a lil’ guilt sit in my chest ‘cause I knew she was hurt. At the same time, I wasn’t gon’ take blame for cheatin’ when I ain’t do it. I also wasn’t finna fall all over her apologizin’ for bein’ with Sha’Nelle after me and Reni broke up.
Reni folded her arms across her chest and looked at me for a few seconds before asking, “Do you love her? Is that who got you actin’ like this with me? That bitch? That nothin’ ass, bum ass bitch?”
I stopped with one hand near my waistband and stared at her. Then, I shook my head and looked away. “I’m not answerin’ that, Reni.”
The answer hit her harder than everything else had.
Reni’s lips parted, but for a second, no words came out. Then she nodded slow like she was forcin’ herself to accept somethin’ she already knew.
“Yeah, you love that bitch. That’s why you could fuck her raw, but you come over here actin’ like you can’t touch me without a condom,” she said, her voice crackin’ while she tried to keep it together. “I really can’t believe this shit… like woah…”
“Me and you ain’t together,” I reminded her, keepin’ my voice level.
“I’m single, and so is you. I’m so sorry she came at you with that dumb shit, but it was all after you.
You took yo’ key back and broke up with me.
What the fuck, Reni? You act like Sha’Nelle was yo’ friend.
Yeah, I’m wrong for bringin’ y’all around each other, but I ain’t know it was gon’ play out like this. ”
Reni started cryin’ harder, and I watched her turn away from me while she covered her mouth.
The sight of it bothered me, but I ain’t know what she expected me to do.
I could hold her and tell her everything was gon’ be fine, but that would’ve been another lie.
Shit between us wasn’t fine, and neither one of us knew what the hell we was buildin’.
I sat down on the edge of the bed with some space between us and rubbed my hand over my face. My mind was jumpin’ between Reni cryin’, Sha’Nelle goin’ through her phone lookin’ for proof and the fact that both women was now arguin’ over shit I had done.
That reality hit different once I had to sit in the middle of it.
I had spent all this time movin’ like I was single ‘cause I was. Sha’Nelle had that other nigga. Reni wasn’t my woman and I ain’t promise her nothin’. Still, somehow both of ‘em was hurt and ready to tear into each other ‘cause of me.
I looked toward Reni again. “Did you post me or somethin’?”
She snapped her head around and gave me the nastiest look she had given me all mornin’. Then she rolled her eyes so hard that I already knew the answer before she refused to give it.
“Reni,” I said, watchin’ her face. “Did you post me on yo’ page?”
She wiped her face and looked away. “It don’t matter.”
“The fuck it don’t,” I replied as the pieces started fallin’ together. “Sha’Nelle ain’t just wake up knowin’ I was here. You posted some shit, she saw it and then she came at you.”
Reni ain’t answer. I stood up put my shoes on. “That’s what happened.”
“Oh, now you mad because she saw you?” Reni asked, turnin’ back toward me. “You wasn’t mad when you came over here.”
“I ain’t mad she saw me,” I said while adjustin’ my foot in my shoe. “I’m tryna understand why you posted me when you know we not together no more.”
Her expression changed at that, and I could tell I hurt her even though I wasn’t tryin’ to. I bent down, adjusted the tongue to my shoes and grabbed my keys from the floor near the bed.
“I gotta slide,” I told her.
Reni looked at me like I had slapped her. “So that’s it?”
“I need to get from in here and figure out what the fuck just happened,” I replied. “I ain’t tryna argue with you, and I ain’t finna stand here while you blame me for some timeline you got wrong.”
“You full of shit Renza… That bitch didn’t have no business knowin’ about my abortion,” she said again, her voice lower now. “The fact that you would do some foul shit like that make me sick to my stomach.”
I paused near the door and looked back at her. “You right about that part. I shouldn’t have told her nothin’ that personal about you.”
Reni’s face softened for half a second, but it ain’t last.