3. Kay’lo Mensah #2
Eventually, I lifted her against my chest and started walkin’ around the room with her. She laid her head on my shoulder, and her lil’ body started relaxin’ almost right away. I rubbed her back and kept my voice low, talkin’ to her about nothin’ while Toni sat on the edge of the bed.
By the time My’Love was fully sleep in my arms, my anger had cooled down enough for me to think clear, but it ain’t really go nowhere.
The shit sat under my ribs while I carried My’Love to her room and laid her down in her bed.
I fixed her blanket, watched her for a few seconds and rubbed my hand over her hair before I stepped out and pulled the door close.
When I walked back in our room, Toni was standin’ near the bed, and I stopped in front of her.
She looked up at me, and for a minute, neither one of us said nothin’.
She was beautiful as hell, and that made me mad in a different way ‘cause even when she had me pissed off, my body still knew she was mine. This silk shit she had on sat soft against her skin, and her eyes was lookin’ at me with that mix of attitude and worry that only Toni could have.
She gripped my waist with both hands and pulled me into her, bitin’ her lip while she looked up at my face. I let her pull me, but I ain’t give her what she was lookin’ for. I just stared down at her, tryna decide how much of what was sittin’ in my mind I wanted to put in her lap tonight.
“What, Kay’Lo?” she asked, her voice low.
I looked down at her, keepin’ my eyes on hers. “You know what.”
Toni held my stare for a second, then her eyes dropped and she sighed.
She let go of my waist and pulled away, and I let her.
I ain’t chase behind her, reach for her or explain myself right now.
I walked past her into the bathroom ‘cause I needed to wash Renza pain off me before I said somethin’ I couldn’t soften later.
I kicked my shoes off, pulled my shirt over my shoulders and dropped it with the rest of my clothes. I took my pants off, freed my dick from my briefs and turned the shower on.
The water came down hot, and I stepped under it with both hands against the wall, lettin’ it run over my head and down my body while I stood here tryna get myself right.
The picture of Renza in that damn truck kept comin’ back, and it had my whole face hardenin’.
I ain’t like it. I ain’t like none of it.
I ain’t like my cousin hurt, I ain’t like Sha’Nelle movin’ wild, and I ain’t like my wife keepin’ me outside of a situation that had already made its way into my family.
The shower door opened behind me, but I ain’t turn around.
Toni stepped in, and a second later, her soft titties pressed against my back.
Her arms slid around my waist, and her hands moved across my stomach, rubbin’ over my abs while she laid her cheek against me.
I closed my eyes for a second ‘cause again…
Toni knew me. She knew where to touch, how to soften her body against mine and how to make me wanna forget whatever I came in here mad about.
Her hand slipped lower, and when she wrapped her fingers around my dick, my body folded on me quick as hell.
I got hard in her hand, and I hated that shit ‘cause I really wanted to stay mad at her ass, but Toni knew exactly how to touch me. She stroked my dick slow under the water, her palm slick while her lips kept pressin’ soft kisses down the middle of my back.
Then her other hand moved lower, cuppin’ my balls gentle while she held my shit in her fist, and I had to keep both hands on the shower wall just to stay focused.
I ain’t move her hand, but I ain’t turn around either. I let her kiss on my back and work my dick in that slow way she knew got under my skin, but I kept my head forward ‘cause I wasn’t finna let her body make me forget what I had just watched my cousin go through.
Toni pressed her titties closer against my back, still strokin’ my dick with one hand, and holdin’ and massagin’ my balls with the other, and the only reason I ain’t groan out loud was ‘cause I refused to give her that much of me.
“I told Renza Sha’Nelle engaged,” I said.
Toni’s hand paused mid-stroke. She ain’t say nothin’, and I ain’t need to look back to know her face had changed. The water kept runnin’, and her body was still behind mine, but that soft lil’ moment she was tryna build got cut right through the middle.
“I heard you in the bathroom last night,” I said, keepin’ my voice low. “I heard enough.”
Toni’s hand stayed still around my dick for another second before she let it go. She ain’t step back right away, but the warmth between us shifted. I turned my head just enough to talk over my shoulder, but I still ain’t face her.
“I’m not tellin’ you not to love yo’ cousin,” I said.
“I ain’t tellin’ you not to be there for her.
But I am tellin’ you that I’m not finna have you and Sha’Nelle sittin’ around talkin’ about Renza, plannin’ around Renza or doin’ nothin’ that pull that nigga back into some pain after what I had to sit and watch today. That shit done. You hear me?”
Toni ain’t answer at first, and that silence told me she heard every word. She knew I wasn’t askin’ or throwin’ out a suggestion for her to pick through later. I had said what I said ‘cause it needed to be said, and if she loved me the way I knew she did, she was gon’ understand why.
After a few seconds, she moved away from me completely, and before I could reach for the soap the way I always did, Toni grabbed it herself.
That alone told me she was feelin’ a way ‘cause my wife ain’t never had to wash herself when she was in the shower with me.
I always did that shit for her. Tonight, she took that from me before I could do it, and even though she ain’t say nothin’, that attitude was loud as hell.
She washed herself quiet, but it wasn’t no soft quiet.
It was that hurt Toni quiet where her mouth was shut, but everything about her was talkin’.
She kept her back to me while she rubbed the soap over her arms, her chest and down her stomach, and I just stood under the water watchin’ her ‘cause I knew she was mad I told Renza about Sha’Nelle.
She rinsed off without lookin’ at me, opened the shower door and got out, and the way she left without touchin’ me again told me she was gon’ make me feel that shit too.
I stayed under the water a lil’ longer after she left. My dick was still hard, my mind was still messed up and my wife was probably standin’ in the bedroom feelin’ some type of way.
We had been doin’ good, and I ain’t want this to be the shit that started pullin’ us back into old habits.
But Toni had to learn that bein’ loyal to her cousin ain’t mean she got to move against me.
It ain’t mean she got to keep secrets in my house, and it damn sure ain’t mean she got to bring Sha’Nelle pain to my cousin door and expect me to hold mine open for it.
I loved Toni. I loved that baby sleepin’ down the hall. I loved the life we had been buildin’, and that was why I had to get a grip on this shit before it got bigger.
Sha’Nelle and Renza had they own storm to stand in, and I wasn’t about to let my wife walk into the middle of it and come back draggin’ rain through my house.