10. Renza Mensah #3
I ordered the wagyu tomahawk with lobster tail, truffle mashed potatoes and charred broccolini. Pressure got the lamb chops with king crab, saffron rice and oysters for the table, and Kay’Lo ordered jerk octopus, dry-aged ribeye and caviar toast. The server took everything down and kept it movin’.
After a while, the food came out, and for a minute, none of us said too much. That was the thing about bein’ around niggas who really knew you. They ain’t have to fill every space with noise just ‘cause some shit was wrong.
Pressure cut into his lamb chops, Kay’Lo poured liquor in his glass, and I sat back with my elbow against the arm of the chair, watchin’ my phone light up again like Sha’Nelle was somewhere pressin’ call with both hands.
Kay’Lo glanced at the screen and took a sip. “That’s her again?”
I ain’t look down at it. “Probably.”
Pressure reached for one of the oysters and shook his head. “She been at my house since last night, Renza.”
I sat back in my chair and rubbed my hand over my mouth. “She comfortable?”
“She quiet,” Pressure said. “Pluto got her.”
Kay’Lo shook his head. “That shit wouldn’t have made it past my livin’ room.”
Pressure took a drink. “I know it.”
“That girl don’t listen,” Kay’Lo said. “And Toni get around her and start actin’ like she forgot how I run my house. I fucked with ‘Nelle, but I ain’t finna let her drag my wife in whatever her and you got goin’ on.”
Pressure leaned back and looked at me then. “You gon’ have to do somethin’, nigga. I ain’t say today, and I ain’t say how, but she can’t sit at the house forever.”
I looked down at my phone when it buzzed again, and I let it ring until the screen went dark.
“She can go back home,” I said.
Kay’Lo’s eyes stayed on me. “You want her to?”
I ain’t answer right away ‘cause the answer should’ve been easy, and it wasn’t.
Pressure picked up his glass. “That’s what I thought.”
My phone started buzzin’ against the table, and all three of us looked at it. I let it ring until it stopped, then took another drink like I ain’t feel that number crawlin’ under my skin. A few seconds later, it started again with another number.
Kay’Lo looked at Pressure. “You see that shit?”
Pressure sighed and sat back. “She been like that at the crib too.”
I looked up at him. “What she doin’?”
Pressure took his time answerin’. “She there...”
Kay’Lo made a sound in his throat and reached for his glass. “I would’ve put her ass out.”
Pressure looked at him. “You did put her out.”
“And I’ll do it again,” Kay’Lo said. “And Toni know better to do the shit you let Pluto do.”
Pressure rubbed his hand across his chin. “Well Pluto ain’t Toni, nigga.“
“Nah, you right,” Kay’Lo said. “Pluto gon’ hold somebody while they cry. Toni gon’ hide a plan, lie by omission and look at you like you wrong when you call her on it.”
I looked between them and shook my head ‘cause even though this was my own shit, them niggas was talkin’ like I wasn’t even sittin’ here.
“You might have to talk to her eventually,” Pressure finally said.
I cut my eyes to him. “You want her out yo’ house, just tell her that shit instead of tryna get me to talk to her.”
“I want my wife back,” Pressure replied’. “Me and Pluto just got to a place where shit feel good again. Last night, we had music on, drinks poured and the house feelin’ good. Nigga, I was on a honey pack, ready to fuck. Then the doorbell ring, and yo’ woman on my steps cryin’ with no lashes on.”
Kay’Lo almost choked on his liquor. “No lashes is crazy.”
Pressure pointed at him. “Both of them bitches was gone.”
I looked down and rubbed my hand over my face. Kay’Lo saw my face and stopped laughin’ first.
“Look at you,” he said. “That’s the shit I’m talkin’ about.”
“What the fuck you talkin’ about?”
“You hear she cried her lashes off, and now yo’ dumb ass sittin’ there feelin’ bad.”
“I ain’t feelin’ bad.”
“You lyin’,” he said, pickin’ up a piece of caviar toast. “And you bad at it.”
Pressure took another drink and looked at me. “I ain’t say talk to her right now. I’m sayin’ she not gon’ sit at my crib forever, and Pluto not gon’ put her out unless I make it a problem. I’m not makin’ it a problem with my wife over Sha’Nelle.”
“Then tell her to leave, nigga. Damn,” I said, even though the words ain’t feel as good comin’ out as I thought they would.
Pressure stared at me. “You want me to?”
I looked down at my glass and turned it slow. “I want her to stop thinkin’ she can show up and make me move.”
Kay’Lo nodded. “That’s what it is.”
The nigga ate like he ain’t have no emotional attachment to this shit whatsoever. “I’mma tell you somethin’, and you can get mad if you want.”
“I’m sure you gon’ say it anyway,” I said.
“Sha’Nelle ain’t ready,” he said, lookin’ right at me. “She love you in her own weird ass way, but she ain’t ready for the kinda shit you was tryna give her.”
Pressure stayed quiet and kept eatin’, but he was listenin’.
Kay’Lo kept goin’. “She ain’t come here ‘cause she all of a sudden got everything figured out. She came ‘cause you stopped chasin’. You pulled back for real, and that scared her. Now she feel you leavin’ her where she kept leavin’ you, and she don’t know what to do with it.”
I swallowed my food and sat back. “So what you sayin’?”
“I’m sayin’ don’t let her panic turn into yo’ answer, nigga. A woman can love you and still not be ready to stand next to you right. Make her sit in that shit for a minute.”
Pressure looked at me. “You know she gon’ have to leave the crib soon.”
I nodded once. “Nigga! Why the fuck you keep sayin’ the same shit like I ain’t hear you the first ten times?”
“‘Cause I really wanna know if you gon’ be good when she do,” he replied.
I looked at him like he had asked me some stupid shit, but he ain’t move his eyes.
“I’m good,” I said.
Kay’Lo put his fork down and laughed under his breath. “There go that bullshit.”
I looked at him. “Nigga, eat yo’ octopus.”
“I am,” he said, cuttin’ into it. “But I can chew and call you a liar at the same time.”
Pressure shook his head and looked between us. “What you gon’ do with the ring?”
My hand stopped near my glass. Kay’Lo looked at me too, and that told me he had been wonderin’ the same shit.
The ring was back at home in my safe, tucked away like it ain’t mean nothin’ when it meant too damn much.
I ain’t even wanna think about it, ‘cause thinkin’ about that damn ring made me see her hand.
It made me see the life I had been close enough to touch in my head before reality slapped the shit outta me.
“I’on know,” I said.
Pressure leaned back in his chair. “She might want that one instead of the other nigga shit. If you decide to give it to her, I ain’t mad at it. Regardless, I still say follow ya heart, nigga.”
I looked at him slow. Kay’Lo stopped with his glass halfway to his mouth.
“I’ll swallow that muthafucka before I give it to Sha’Nelle,” I said with a straight face.
Pressure stared at me for a second, then laughed. Kay’Lo put his glass down and shook his head.
“That ring cost too much for you to be digestin’ it,” Pressure replied.
Kay’Lo laughed again, and for a second, the heaviness at the table loosened.
That was why I needed these niggas, even when I ain’t know how to say it.
They could sit with me in the worst part of my head and still find a way to make me laugh without actin’ like the pain wasn’t there.
They just sat here, ate expensive shit, drank good liquor and reminded me I wasn’t by myself.
My phone buzzed again…
I looked at it this time, and the number stared back at me like it had a face. I knew it was Sha’Nelle crazy ass.
Pressure ain’t say nothin’, but Kay’Lo did.
“Don’t pick that shit up unless you ready for whatever come with hearin’ her voice.”
I moved my hand away and picked up my fork instead.
The rest of lunch moved between jokes, liquor and my cousins tellin’ me what they thought without lettin’ the conversation drown us.
By the time the plates was cleared and the bottles was low, I felt a lil’ less like I was crawlin’ out my skin.
Sha’Nelle was still at the house, and she was still callin’ and textin’ from all these different numbers.
My mind wanted distance, but my heart kept actin’ like it ain’t get the message.
I was hopin’ if I stayed away long enough, if I kept smokin’, ridin’, eatin’ with my cousins and sleepin’ somewhere that ain’t smell like her, maybe she would start leavin’ my system.
I ain’t know if my heart was built strong enough to hold that shit, though…
I only knew I couldn’t go home yet.