12. Pluto Mensah
Trill-Land, Jungle Estate
That evening, I made it back home with shopping bags on my arms and my feet hurting from being out all day.
I had spent most of the day with Toni and Sha’Nelle, and even though it was supposed to be something simple, I could tell all three of us needed it for different reasons.
We ate, shopped, talked a little, got quiet when we needed to and let the day move without forcing it to be more than what it was.
Toni had a lot sitting on her, and Sha’Nelle was trying hard not to look like she was carrying the whole island on her shoulders.
I knew shopping wasn’t going to fix anything, but sometimes getting out the house and putting your hands on clothes, shoes and bags gave your mind something else to do besides hurt.
By the time me and Sha’Nelle walked through the front door, the house felt warm and settled.
I heard Kaylon before I saw him, and that made me smile right away.
His little voice was coming from the living room, mixed with the soft sound of one of his toys rolling across the floor.
I shifted my bags in my hands and stepped inside, with Sha’Nelle right behind me.
She had a few bags too, but she held them close to her side like she was still trying not to take up too much room in a house I had already told her she could breathe in.
Pressure was in the living room with Kaylon and Isley. He was sitting on the couch with Isley against him with one hand on her back while Kaylon played near his feet.
My baby girl looked so small in his arms, and Pressure looked too fine sitting there. He had on a fitted black shirt, dark sweatpants pants and a pair of socks, and somehow that was enough for me to stop for a second.
Sha’Nelle stepped in behind me and spoke before the moment got too quiet. “Hey, Pressure.”
Pressure lifted his eyes to her and nodded. “Wussup.”
After that, his eyes came right to me. I felt it immediately. Not just him looking at me, but the way he looked at me.
Pressure had been different with me lately.
We were getting back to the part of us that had always been there under all the pain, noise and life that tried to cover it.
He looked at me like he missed me all day, even though I had only been gone for a few hours.
He looked at me like he already knew where his hands were going to be once the kids were settled and the house got quiet.
Kaylon looked up from his toy and ran to me before I could put my bags down.
“Hey, Mommy,” he said, wrapping his arms around my legs.
“Hey, baby,” I said, smiling as I lowered the bags to the floor. I bent down enough to kiss the top of his head, then brushed my hand over his hair. “You had a good day with Daddy?”
Kaylon nodded and leaned against my legs like he had no plans to move yet.
I rubbed his back, but my eyes were already going back to Pressure and Isley.
Pressure stood with her in his arms, moving slow because she was comfortable against him.
He walked closer, and I could smell him before he got right in front of me. He smelled like soap and cologne.
Sha’Nelle hugged Kaylon after he finally let go of me. He let her love on him for a second, and she kissed his cheek before standing up. She then kissed Isley’s hands and smiled at her. I saw her look between me and Pressure, and something softer moved over her face.
“I’m going to take this stuff to the room,” she said.
I looked at her and nodded. “Okay. I’ll check on you in a little bit.”
She nodded back, then walked out of the living room.
I watched her go for a second, and a piece of me felt bad because I knew what she was dealing with still wasn’t over.
But I also knew I had a marriage, children and a husband standing in front of me, and I couldn’t keep letting everybody else’s hurt swallow every sweet thing happening in my own house.
Pressure stepped closer with Isley, and I leaned in to kiss my baby girl on her little mouth. She made a tiny sound against my lips, and I smiled as I kissed her cheek too.
“Hi, pretty girl,” I said softly. “Did you give Daddy a hard time?”
I touched her little hand, then looked up at him. “I missed y’all.”
Pressure’s eyes came to mine, and that warm look shifted into something meant just for me. “We missed you too, baby.”
Then he pulled me into a kiss that made me forget about the bags, and the long day I had.
His mouth moved over mine slow, and when his tongue touched mine, my fingers tightened in his shirt as I stepped closer to him. He held me with one hand at my waist and Isley resting against his chest, careful with our baby but still kissing me like he had been waiting on me all day.
I felt myself melt into him because this was the part of us I had missed so much.
We had been finding our way back to each other every night and every morning, and now my body was craving him all over again.
It knew his hands, his mouth, his warmth and the way he could make one kiss feel like he was already loving on every part of me.
Pressure pulled back just enough to look at me, but I kissed him again because I wasn’t ready to stop yet.
His hand slid lower on my waist, and he held me while his mouth came back to mine.
I could hear Kaylon moving near my legs, and Isley made another little noise, but I stayed in the kiss for a few more seconds because I missed my husband.
When I finally pulled back, Pressure leaned closer to my ear.
“I’m ’bout to put the kids up,” he said low. “Then I’m gon’ be upstairs in a minute to love all on you.”
The words went straight through me, and I felt myself get warm from the inside out. I didn’t have to ask what he meant. I could hear it in his voice, and I could see it in the way his eyes stayed on me when he moved back.
Pressure had been loving on me different lately, with so much time and attention that I could still feel him long after he left the room.
At night, he barely let me sleep before he was pulling me into him again.
In the mornings, he found some way to touch me before work, like he needed me close before the day took him away from the house.
I slid my hand up his chest and pulled him down for another kiss.
This one was slower, and I let myself taste him for a few seconds longer than I probably should have with our babies right here.
Pressure smiled against my mouth like he knew exactly what he was doing to me, then kissed me one more time before I stepped back.
“I’m going upstairs,” I said, keeping my voice low.
“Go ahead,” he said. “I told you what I’m ’bout to do.”
I bent to kiss Kaylon again, and he reached for me like he wanted to come too. I cupped his face and kissed his forehead. “I’ll see you in a little bit, okay?”
He nodded, and Pressure shifted Isley so he could reach for Kaylon with his other hand. “Come on. Let Mommy go.”
I kissed Isley one more time, then picked up my purse and bags before heading toward the elevator. I could feel Pressure watching me walk away, and I didn’t even try to act like I didn’t like it because his attention had started feeling like something I needed again.
When I got upstairs, I went straight to our room and set everything on the bed. Shopping bags tipped over, tissue paper stuck out and my purse landed right in the middle of the comforter, but I didn’t care about cleaning any of it up yet.
The room was quiet, and the evening light sat against the windows in that soft way it did before the house got dark. I stood here for a second and let myself breathe because I already knew Pressure would be upstairs soon, so I went in the bathroom and turned on the shower.
While the water warmed, I took off my jewelry and set it on the counter.
I pulled my clothes off and dropped them in the hamper, then opened the shower door.
I stepped under the water once the steam started filling the glass completely.
The first touch of it against my shoulders felt good, and I closed my eyes as it ran down my back.
I had been walking around stores all day, trying on clothes, laughing when I could and holding space for two women who were dealing with their own kind of hurt.
Now I needed to wash all of that off and come back to myself.
I used the body wash Pressure liked, with the soft sweet scent that stayed on my skin after I got out.
I knew he noticed it every time because he always put his face against my neck or chest and breathed me in before saying something nasty under his breath.
I smiled to myself as I rubbed it over my arms, shoulders and chest. Then I washed down my stomach, over my hips and between my legs, taking my time because I already knew where the night was going.
I wanted to feel clean, soft and ready for my man when he touched me.
The water slid over me while I rinsed, and I stayed a few extra minutes because I liked the quiet.
It gave me a second to settle into the part of me that belonged only to Pressure.
Not the mother moving through the house or the woman making sure everybody else was okay.
Not the wife trying to balance guests, family and whatever was happening with Renza and Sha’Nelle.
But just me, standing under warm water, getting ready for the man who had been reminding me over and over that we were still us.
When I finished, I turned the shower off and stepped on the mat.
I dried my body, wrapped the towel around me and wiped some steam from the mirror.
My skin smelled just like the body wash, and I knew Pressure was going to say something about it as soon as he got close.
I went to the sink and twisted the loose strands of my hair into the bun so I could wash my face without the length getting in the way.