22. Renza Mensah
Amiri
I had been in Amiri for damn near two weeks and I could finally admit I was ready to get my ass back home.
The island had been everything I needed when I first got here, and I ain’t regret comin’ at all.
I needed somewhere that wasn’t Trill-Land for a minute. I needed to wake up without knowin’ every street, every face and every place I drove past.
Out here, nobody knew me unless I introduced myself, and most of the time I ain’t even feel like doin’ that.
I could wake up, smoke, eat, ride around or sit by the water without nobody askin’ me where I was headed or what I had planned for later.
That shit had been good for me, especially after spendin’ so much time back home with my mind runnin’ a hundred miles a minute.
Amiri had been peaceful as hell too.
Everybody I came across was cool, and even the people workin’ at the restaurants and lil’ spots around the island treated me like they had known me longer than five minutes.
The food had been hittin’ every damn time I sat down somewhere. I had ate seafood damn near every way a nigga could make it, tried shit I probably never would’ve ordered back home and found a couple places I went back to more than once ‘cause I already knew they wasn’t gon’ disappoint me.
Even the strip I had just left had been laid-back. I walked around for a while, grabbed somethin’ to eat and talked to one of the older niggas workin’ at a shop before I finally got back in the rental.
Still, it wasn’t shit like Trill-Land…
I realized that over these last couple days. Amiri was nice as fuck, but home was home.
I missed pullin’ up on Kay’Lo without callin’ first and hearin’ that nigga start talkin’ shit soon as I walked through the door.
I missed Pressure and all his annoyin’ ass comments he would throw out when everybody else was talkin’.
I missed seein’ my family whenever I wanted to, and I missed sleepin’ in my own bed.
I needed to get away, but I wasn’t runnin’ from home forever just ‘cause life got heavy for a minute.
I pulled away from the strip in the black truck I rented when I first got here and let the windows stay down while I drove. The breeze felt good comin’ through, and I had my arm restin’ near the window with a blunt between my fingers.
I ain’t have my music loud ‘cause I had been enjoyin’ the quiet more lately. The island already had enough sounds of its own, and I liked hearin’ the water when I passed certain areas or people talkin’ outside the shops.
I took a pull off the blunt and blew the smoke toward the open window before smilin’ to myself.
When I got back to the villa tonight, I was bookin’ my flight. I ain’t know if I was leavin’ tomorrow or the next day, but I was done extendin’ the shit just ‘cause I could. Two weeks was enough. I felt better than I did when I came, and that was what I needed out this whole trip.
For the rest of the day, though, I ain’t wanna do shit but go sit on the beach. I had a bottle in the back, my weed was good and I had everything else I needed in my bag. I planned on findin’ somewhere away from everybody, pourin’ up and lettin’ the rest of the day do what it was gon’ do.
I drove another fifteen minutes before pullin’ into the lot near one of the quieter beach areas I had found earlier in the week.
There was people out there, but it wasn’t packed like the spots closer to all the restaurants and stands.
Most of the families and tourists stayed near the main entrance, and if I walked far enough down, I could usually find somewhere I ain’t have to hear nobody’s kids screamin’ or somebody playin’ music right in my damn ear.
I parked the truck, grabbed my bag and reached behind the seat for the bottle.
After lockin’ the doors, I headed toward the beach and took my time walkin’ through the sand.
I ain’t mind the heat, especially with the breeze comin’ off the water.
It was warm enough to feel good without makin’ me feel like I needed to go hide somewhere under some air.
I kept walkin’ until I found a spot off to the side where nobody was too close. I pulled the towel out my bag, laid it across the sand and sat down before stretchin’ my legs in front of me.
The water was right here in front of me, movin’ in and out while the waves slapped the shore.
Back home, I used to feel like I needed to always be movin’.
If I wasn’t out somewhere, I was answerin’ my phone, pullin’ up on somebody or findin’ somethin’ else to do.
I could sit in the house for a few hours and start feelin’ like I was wastin’ a day.
I ain’t know when the hell that started changin’, but somewhere between gettin’ older and life beatin’ the shit outta me a few times, I started understandin’ why peace mattered.
I reached in my bag and pulled out the weed, then broke some down and rolled another blunt. Once I got it lit, I grabbed the bottle and poured some liquor into the glass cup I brought with me. I took a sip before settin’ the bottle back down and leaned on one arm while I looked at the water.
I ain’t turn into no completely different nigga just ‘cause I came out here and sat by the ocean for two weeks. I still liked goin’ out, and I still liked bein’ with my people.
I just ain’t feel like I needed all the extra shit around me all the time no more.
There was somethin’ about sittin’ somewhere with my own thoughts and realizin’ they ain’t always have to be fuckin’ loud that made me look at things different.
I took another drink and sat here lookin’ at the water while the breeze moved over me. I thought about callin’ Kay’Lo later and tellin’ him I was bookin’ my flight.
I missed my niggas…
I missed my family too…
I took another pull and watched the smoke disappear in front of me while I thought about the villa.
I was gon’ go back, shower, order somethin’ to eat and book the first flight that made sense.
I probably needed to pack tonight too, ‘cause I knew my ass would wait until the last minute if I left it for tomorrow.
I was still thinkin’ about that when I heard somebody call my name.
“Renza!”
I frowned and turned my head toward the main part of the beach.
At first, I figured somebody had said somethin’ close enough to my name and my brain picked up on it ‘cause I wasn’t used to hearin’ nobody out here call me. I hadn’t made friends with nobody in Amiri.
I brought the blunt up and looked at it before takin’ another pull. “This shit ain’t that strong.”
I shook my head and looked back toward the water.
Then I heard my name again…
“Renza!”
This time, I ain’t brush it off ‘cause the voice sounded different. It was louder, and somethin’ about it made me sit up straighter. I turned around and looked toward the stretch of beach behind me while tryna figure out where it was comin’ from.
There was people walkin’ closer to the water, a couple families further back and some women sittin’ under an umbrella, but none of ‘em was lookin’ my way.
I kept my eyes movin’ while I listened, and for a second, I started wonderin’ if the damn weed really was fuckin’ with me.
Then I heard my name one more time.
“Renza!”
I stopped movin’, ‘cause I knew that voice.
I stood up from the towel and turned fully toward the sound while the blunt stayed between my fingers.
There was a woman walkin’ toward me from down the beach, and at first, I couldn’t see enough of her face to know who the hell it was. All I could really make out was her body and the way she was movin’ through the sand.
She was thick as fuck…
Her hips moved under the dress she had on, and every step she took made somethin’ in my head start puttin’ pieces together before I was ready to believe what the fuck I was seein’.
There was something familiar about the shape of her body and the way she walked when she was in a hurry. I had watched that same ass move away from me too many times not to recognize it, but I still stood here tellin’ myself there was no fuckin’ way.
It just wasn’t no fuckin’ way…
When she got closer, I narrowed my eyes and looked at her face.
My hand dropped away from my mouth before I could take another pull, and all the shit I had been thinkin’ about before this moment left my mind.
I ain’t hear the water the same no more, and I ain’t give a fuck about the drink sittin’ beside my towel or the flight I had just decided I was bookin’ tonight.
I just kept lookin’ at her…
She came closer, and there wasn’t no mistakin’ who the fuck it was now.
My stomach turned over…
“What the fuck?”
I ain’t even realize I said it out loud.
Sha’Nelle was walkin’ toward me…
She looked like she had been rushin’ ‘cause her chest was movin’ harder than it should’ve been, and she had one hand near her purse while she tried to keep movin’ through the sand. Her face looked nervous as hell, but she ain’t stop comin’ toward me.
For a second, my mind ain’t know what to do with what my eyes was seein’.
The last thing I expected when I woke up this mornin’ was to sit on a beach in Amiri and look up to see Sha’Nelle comin’ toward me like she had been searchin’ for my ass.
I rubbed my hand over my mouth and took another look at her like maybe my mind was playin’ some fucked-up trick on me. She kept movin’ closer though, and the closer she got, the more real everything became.
I could see her face clear now. I could see the emotion all over it too.
My heart started beatin’ harder while I stood here, and I hated how fast my body reacted to seein’ her before I even had time to decide how I felt about it.
I had spent months on top of months mad at this damn woman.
I had spent months tryna accept what she chose and tryna get my own mind back under control.
I came all the way out here ‘cause I needed some space from everything connected to her, and now she was walkin’ right up to me on a beach thousands of miles away from home.
She slowed down when she got a few feet from me.
I looked at her face and then looked over her shoulder like somebody else might be walkin’ up behind her with an explanation.
Nobody was there. It was just her…
My eyes went back to hers.
“Sha’Nelle?”
Her eyes filled up with tears as soon as I said her name.
She nodded a lil’ and looked up at me while hot tears started streamin’ down her face. I watched the whites of her eyes turn pink the longer she stood there, and she ain’t even bother reachin’ up to wipe her cheeks.
Her lips trembled before she pressed ‘em together, and there was so much emotion sittin’ in her face that I ain’t know what the fuck to do with it.
She looked relieved to finally be standin’ in front of me, but she looked hurt too, like whatever it took for her to get here had been holdin’ her together until she actually saw me.
“It’s me,” she said, and her voice came out shaky while another tear rolled down her cheek.
I stood here holdin’ my blunt while I tried to process the fact that this woman had somehow found me in Amiri.
I ain’t know who told her where I was, how long she had been here or what the fuck she had gone through to get to this beach, but none of that mattered enough for me to ask right now.
All I could do was look at her.
Sha’Nelle took another step toward me, and I looked down at the small space between us before bringin’ my eyes back to her face.
She was really here…
To Be Continued…