Cessation

Chapter 8

Trust

“What the fuck?” I said aloud as I read the text that came through to my phone. I thought it was bullshit until an attachment came through as well. “The hell going on man?”

“Aye bro. You good?”

“Nah. I’m ’bout to head out and take care of some shit. I’ll holla at y’all boys later.”

Without saying another word, I bolted out the door not caring who I knocked over in the process. There was no way in hell the woman who had my heart had made a move like that. I was still trying to wrap my mind around the text.

Babymama: Where do you want me to put your things? Yani got in her feelings and dropped all your shit off. *attachment*

What the fuck did I do that bad for her to break our family up and not allow me time with them anymore? Out of the decade we been together, Yani had never shown such disrespect or acted out the way she was. Something was wrong and I needed to find out what.

Hopping in my whip, I pulled out the parking lot and headed for my crib. Regardless of what the fuck me and Xara had going on, Yani and Brendon was my whole life. I wouldn’t dare put someone above them. I have told that to Yani numerous times.

I could admit that I was torn on who to give the most time to but because Truce was so small, I wanted her to know who her father was.

Plus, Xara was the type of woman that would use the child as a pawn.

She did it with her first daughter. I didn’t want or need that drama in my life, so I pretty much gave her whatever she asked for.

However, Yani was spoiled out the ass and I made sure she was always comfortable.

I didn’t have buckets of money like she did but whatever I made, most of it went to her and our son.

I loved the hell out of them and tried to show it as much as I could.

Lately, I dropped the ball with letting certain plans slip my mind but that wasn’t grounds for her to cut me off.

I took a minute to think on if her period was here or not.

It was the last week of January and her menstrual started around the first of each month.

Maybe she was going through a bad case of PMS. Hell, I experienced a few rough ones with her.

There were times where she wanted to roast a nigga on the grill all because I forgot some juice.

I knew how chaotic she could become during that time.

I pulled up to the house Yani and I shared shortly after. Her car was parked outside the garage letting me know that she was home. I couldn’t throw the vehicle in park fast enough. I exited the car immediately with my keys in tow.

Sticking my key in the door, I tried to turn it and it wouldn’t budge. I know she ain’t change these fuckin’ locks. I shook the door handle and became furious when reality set in. Yani really kicked a nigga out the crib. Thing was, she had the power to do so. This shit was in her name.

My anger got the best of me as I began to bang on the door.

It was the fact that I didn’t have access to my family anymore.

The feeling of being abandoned was setting in at a fast pace.

She was walking out my life and I wasn’t ready for that.

I didn’t think I ever would be. She was truly the only genuine person in my life that accepted me flaws and all.

“Yani! Yani, open this fuckin’ door!” I yelled as I continued to bang on the door.

She came forward and stared at me through the glass door, before speaking some crazy shit. “Sir, I don’t know who or what you’re looking for, but you don’t own anything here. If you don’t leave my property, I’m afraid I’m going to have to call the police.”

My head was cocked to the side sporting the look of confusion seconds later. Yani was a lot of things but stupid wasn’t one of them. I didn’t know what the fuck she had going on, but I wasn’t fuckin’ with it.

“Yani, what the hell is going on baby? Tell me something.”

She went to walk away and that was something I couldn’t take.

The anger I had built up in me had traveled to the foot I was using to kick the door in.

It flew wide open with the glass shattering after contacting the wall, causing her to scream out as if I was there to hurt her or something.

Brendon flew downstairs with concern etched across his face.

When he realized it was me, he calmed down.

“What’s up, Dad? Is everything alright?”

“Yeah son. Go back upstairs and wait on me or your mom to come get you.” He nodded and headed back upstairs, but not before giving his mother a onceover.

“Get out my house Trust and go to the one that you legally share with that bitch. You are not wanted here.”

How the fu… Xara talk too fuckin’ much! Why the fuck couldn’t Xara leave well enough alone?

She didn’t have to go and tell Yani a damn thing.

She had it good and all she had to do was play her role.

Yani didn’t bother her at all, yet she was always finding ways to taunt my wife or cause friction between us. I didn’t understand women at times.

“Baby, just wait and let me explain.”

“I don’t need an explanation, Trust. You have told me one too many lies, and I refuse to hear another. When it comes to me and Brendon, —”

“I put y’all before any and everybody.”

“Didn’t I just say I didn’t want to hear any more of your lies?

Trust, ever since Truce has been born, we haven’t had any time with you.

You have missed so many events and school programs that our son no longer looks for you, and your way of making it up, is giving another promise that your ass can’t keep. I’m… we’re good.”

“So, because I missed a few events I’m getting ripped from my family? Since when the fuck do we move like that?”

She scoffed and proceeded to walk off once more. I followed her deeper into the house stopping in the kitchen. She had begun to ignore me, and that gesture was my number one pet peeve. She knew it and was doing it to get under my skin.

“Yani, talk to me. We can get through this just like we do every other obstacle.”

“Trust, having another family is not an obstacle. I stayed and gave you a chance that I know for a fact I wouldn't have given anyone else. You cheated on me and produced a child. That is not something you can sweep under the rug, yet I did it. You want to know why? Because people deserve a second chance, but damn, you out here playing me for a fuckin’ fool. Somewhere along the line I became the side bitch in all of this.”

“If you believe that I am anything other than just a baby daddy to that damn girl, then you are a fool. The only reason why I’m giving Xara so much of my time is because of Truce. If she didn't have my daughter, then my ass wouldn't be over there.”

“Trust you were over there before she even got pregnant.

You have been cheating on me with that damn girl for years and I ignored all of it.

Maybe because I was scared to lose you at the time, but please understand that I don't give a damn about losing you now.

I intentionally was just dropping your things off because she gained more of your time, but instead I got an earful.

Females like her love to tell what someone else's man is doing for them.

I heard more than enough from her and you.

Now, I asked you to get out of my house and I'm not going to ask you again.”

“Baby… I made a mistake.”

“Mistakes are something you commit once, not repeatedly. I made a choice to deal with you even though you fucked up several times. However, you are a lesson learned. Thank you for showing me what not to tolerate from the next man.”

“Yani just give me a minute to say something.”

“You know that bitch told me she was allowing you to play house with me and Brendon. I ain't never felt so humiliated and hurt at the same time. Whatever the fuck you and that bitch got going on, y'all can keep it. I’m done.”

The tears she was fighting back were sitting on the brink of her eyelids. Causing her hurt was something I never felt proud of. She was such a loving, genuine, and caring person. I had broken her down and that was causing my heart to ache.

I reached for her hand, and she moved herself out of arms reach.

I quickly realized I didn't have the privilege to touch her anymore.

That hurt a nigga bad. Yani had always forgiven me, but it seemed like she was at her wits end this time.

Xara probably gave her information that she had no clue about.

I had to leave Yani and get to my baby mama to put some straightening on her reckless ass mouth.

Stepping forward, I reached for her again, and she granted me access.

I pulled her into my chest and her tears began to drench my shirt.

Her cry was hysterical and that was tugging at my heart for real.

Heartbreak was something I never wanted to cause for her.

Seeing her break down like this was fuckin’ with me just as much as it was her.

“Yani, I’m sorry. I’ll fix this, I promise,” I said as I rubbed her back and consoled her. We stayed that way as she began to calm herself down.

When she finally pulled herself together, she stepped back and stared at me. I could see the love she had for me gradually drain and replace itself with hurt. Before I knew it, her hand was connecting with the left side of my face. I knew the reason behind it. She didn’t have to say a word.

“It’s cool. I'll give you your space but understand that this shit between us ain't over. Tell my son I love him, and I'll see him later.”

I was defeated and there was nothing I could do about it. I finally removed myself from the home that held so many memories. I didn't know if I would ever have the chance to step foot in there again. I knew Yani and when her mind was made up that was it.

Hopping in my ride, I sped out of the driveway and headed to Xara.

Whatever beef she had with Yani, was beef that shouldn’t have existed.

She was being petty for no reason. It was blowing the hell out of me how she wanted to make her role more prominent than Yani’s.

I had kept it a hunnid with Xara on more than one occasion.

My blood began to boil as I came in proximity of her. The way I wanted to wrap my hands around her throat and shake some fuckin’ sense into her was running on a loop. She did entirely too much when I gave her everything she could ask for. She was selfish as hell for pulling that stunt with Yani.

Parking behind her car, I made my way inside. I found her sitting comfortably in the living room surrounded by my belongings from the place I never wanted to leave. Just seeing how none of this shit bothered her started to piss me off.

“What the fuck happened today, Xara?”

“Ask your ghetto ass baby mama. She the one that showed up at our home unannounced with a U-Haul. My thing is, why does this bother you when you’re never there anyway? Plus, you told me you were moving out soon. She just beat you to the punch.”

I had to remind myself quickly that I wasn’t the type of nigga to put my hands on females.

Xara ruined a relationship that I truly wasn’t ready to let go of.

Yani was never going to trust me again. I had to beg for forgiveness and another chance last year when I dropped that big ass bomb on her about Truce.

My time with her was pretty much over with.

“Xara, they are my family and now you made it to where I can’t even see them whenever I please!” My voice had elevated, and I was beginning to become aggravated more and more.

“Trust don’t come up in here with all that. Nigga you approached me and got me pregnant three times. You knew you had a bitch when you slid up in me. Now all of a sudden, I’m the reason for your fuck ups. You lie too much. Let’s be real though, I’m the only bitch that’ll accept the shit you do.”

“That’s what you think but if you did, you wouldn’t have pried me away from my fuckin’ family and technically wife.”

“You and that bougie ass bitch are not married. She made it perfectly clear that you ain’t put no ring on her finger.”

“Bi…” I had to stop myself and remember I wasn’t the disrespectful nigga people thought I was. “In the state of Oklahoma, common law marriage is recognized just like a legal marriage is. Me and Yani been together for ten years and under the same roof for eight.”

She stood and smacked the shit out of me before I could finish my sentence good. “You bitch ass nigga. Why the fuck did you even get involved with me? Why even tell me you love me when you knew you ain’t want shit from me for real?”

“Don’t put your hands on me no more, Xara. You getting a little too comfortable.”

“Fuck you. Here I was thinking we were about to be a real family and you just playing in my face. I feel so stupid for thinking you gave a fuck about me and Truce.”

Xara was being dramatic as fuck. She always wanted things to be about her. If my time and money wasn’t being spent on her, then she didn’t want to hear it. If I wasn’t on my knees kissing her ass, she didn’t want to hear it. Xara was too selfish for me.

“Since when have I shown you anything less than me caring, Xara? You just mad that you ain’t got it like Yani so instead you cause chaos. The fuck is wrong with you?”

“Maybe it’s you… or maybe it’s my hormones causing the jealousy. I’m pregnant again, Trust.”

Fuck! I’m never going to get Yani back now.