Chapter 9
Yani
Iwasn’t supposed to be smiling the way that I was, especially with all the bullshit that I was going through with Trust. However, seeing a sweet simple message from Paxton, along with the same things in return that I sent him, had my cheeks high, and my mouth displaying all thirty-two teeth.
I had a case of butterflies when he was nowhere in sight.
Saying a simple thank you would’ve sufficed. Don’t ever think you have to go out your way for me. I do the spoiling, not the other way around. I enjoyed everything you sent my way, now I’m hoping you’ll do the same beautiful.
Paxton was showing a side that I had missed dearly from Trust, but I knew that part of my life was over. I couldn’t focus on the next lie Trust wanted to shoot in my ear. I had a business to run, a child to care for, and myself to love. My time of being ignored was over.
“I’m guessing Mr. Hughes has you smiling like a Chesire Cat. What did he send over for lunch?” Sabrina questioned as she waltzed in my office with hers.
“I don’t have the slightest clue.”
I went to open the food bag and instantly felt my heart flutter. It was a meal from my favorite restaurant called Hen’s. The establishment was a soul food-based place, and I enjoyed meals from there quite often. Curiosity piqued on how he knew.
“Wait, how did you know he sent food? You were in the break room.” She sat across from me and started to dig into her container. “Sabrina don’t play with me.”
Throwing her fork down, she gave in. “Fine. He called earlier and I gave him a few details.”
I wanted to be upset with her, but I truly wasn’t. Paxton was giving me a little bit of sunshine in my gloomy ass life.
“Sabrina you shouldn’t have said a word without checking with me first,” I scolded her.
“Well, I tried to, but you shooed me away, so I gave him what he needed. It made you smile though, right?”
“Yes, yes it did,” I said nibbling on my bottom lip.
For some reason, I focused on the fact that another man made me smile. For so long, I thought only Trust could make me feel special, but I was wrong.
“Are you and Trust working things out?”
I rolled my eyes like it was second nature. I was so tired of talking about him. The heartbreak from Trust was taking a toll on me.
“Nope. He has a family to tend to. I wouldn’t dare tear him away from his duties.”
Finally opening my food tray, I dug in and felt instant satisfaction.
Those greens were delicious and the way the candy yams hit that macaroni and cheese…
chef’s kiss. He didn’t want me to go all out for him, but I planned on sending him more gifts.
In my mind, we were in the middle of a game called Tag and I was it.
“How do you feel about everything? Do you miss him?”
I missed everything about Trust. He was all I knew for over a decade of my life. We grew together and started a family that neither one of our parents thought we could have. I was invested but it was clear that he wasn’t.
Trust called my phone several times throughout the day and texted the entire day.
Me leaving shouldn’t have been the only way for him to notice us.
Suddenly, he had so much free time for Brendon and me.
He was always suggesting things for us to do together or asking if he could stop by.
I was being petty, but my response was us having something else to do.
He should’ve showed that he cared when he had us.
The family we once shared was everything to me.
We were no longer one, and I found myself crying randomly during the day from how much hurt he bestowed upon us.
Brendon and I didn’t deserve to be treated like trash but it was nothing we could do besides move on.
He quit asking for Trust a long time ago so him being out of the house officially, didn’t faze him.
“If I’m being honest, then yes. I miss him so much.” I didn’t know what came over me, but I burst into tears. I had such a huge attachment to Trust that the detachment was painful.
Sabrina dropped her food and rushed to my side. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to —”
Shaking my head wildly, I stopped her from apologizing. My drama was unfolding and no matter who asked or spoke on it, I was going to be emotional about it.
“It’s okay. It’s truly not you Sabrina. It’s just… it hurts. I can’t explain the love I have for that man. He wasn’t supposed to do us like this.” I took the Kleenex she was offering that she grabbed off the table and cleaned myself up.
“Okay so let’s talk about something else.
Is that alright?” I nodded, allowing the topic to change.
“The event is almost ready. The caterers are prepared and will be heading out this afternoon. The hotel you have booked for all our guests, including workers, will allow them to check in up to two hours early. The only thing left to do is move all equipment to the venue. I’ll receive a confirmation email from the venue manager by the end of the day letting me know when it’s all arrived. ”
“We’re right on schedule. Thank you for helping. You are such a damn blessing.”
“I’ll always have your back. Can I speak an opinion on something though?”
“Of course.” I reached over and picked my plate back up to continue eating after I dried my face. I had my moment but I damn sure wasn’t about to waddle in it a second more.
“I know you were only participating to get the deal with Mr. Hughes, but what if you actually joined to find your true match.”
“I just got out of a relationship Sabrina. I’m not ready to deal with anyone to be honest. Paxton is getting his time because of the proposition that’s on the table. I can’t jump into anything other than work right now. Speaking of, can you give me some privacy please?”
“Yes ma’am. I’ll let you be.” She stood and left with her food in tow.
Sabrina was sweet for wanting me to engage in a new…
hell, I don’t know what to call it, but I knew I wasn’t ready.
Trust did damage on me and all I wanted was to heal on my own time for as long as I needed and peacefully.
This event was for Paxton to see how my new project worked. Nothing more and nothing less.
I finished my food and returned to my desk. I had a busy rest of the day and for the next seven days, my time would be tied. There was a basketball game that I was taking Brendon to tonight, and then afterward I would be back in grind mode hoping my questionnaires sealed a million-dollar deal.
&
“You have on the wrong colors Ma. We repping Golden State.”
“No, I don’t baby. I’m rocking with the Lakers all day. You know I love that LeBron.”
I finished putting on my white booties and stood to give myself a once over.
Tonight, was for the kids and Calina managed to get us skybox seats.
The new man she was dealing with had connections let her tell it.
He hooked us up and Brendon was ecstatic.
The goal was for him to stay happy and as long as I could provide a smile, I felt like I was doing a damn good job at this mother thing.
“You going out sad Ma. You know it’s all about Curry.”
“Well, you stick to Steph, and I’ll keep eyeing LeBron fine tail.”
He shook his head with a look of disgust. He hated when I talked about LeBron. He called him Baby Bron and I called him Fine Bron. He couldn’t stand it.
“Can we go now? Aunt Lina and them probably already there.”
“Yeah baby boy. Let’s be out.” I grabbed my phone, keys, and purse off the dresser, then followed behind my little one right out the door.
He deserved this outing. So much had been going on with me and his father that I hadn’t really showed him the proper attention. He was attended to, but it was more routine than anything. That wasn’t my style of parenting whatsoever.
We hopped in the truck and started our night. I figured we could grab something to eat when we got there since Lina said they served food in the box. Whether they did or didn’t, I didn’t mind grabbing him something from a concession stand.
As we made our way down the freeway to the stadium, Trust called once more. I didn’t want to answer, but I wasn’t the type of woman to keep his child from him. I released a deep breath and prepared myself for more lies.
“Hello.”
“Damn, finally. Why can’t you answer the phone Yani?”
“Because I be busy, Trust. Now, what is it?”
“I just wanted to check on y’all and see if I could come by tonight and spend some time with y’all. Plus, we ain’t never get to talk.”
Without saying anything else, I handed the phone to Brendon. He wasn’t about to mess up my evening.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Hey son. What’s going on? How you feeling over there?”
“I’m good. Ma taking us to the game tonight. I get to see Curry play in person.”
“Oh yeah. That’s what’s up. Try and get an autograph for me, a’ight?”
“I got you, Dad.”
“Cool. Let me holla at your mama right quick.”
Brendon passed the phone back and I already knew Trust was about to pick a fight. I could hear it in the sarcasm from when he was talking to Brendon.
“Yes Trust.”
“So, you got time to go to a game, but you can’t make time for me to come see my family? What kind of shit you on, Yani?”
“Trust, please shut the fuck up. Brendon told me what you said when he asked you. Nigga you had to take Truce to your niece’s birthday party and wouldn’t have time, remember? Well, guess who made time for their son?”
Trust thought I was stupid, but I was beginning to see more and more each day how he really wasn’t hitting on shit. I was blinded by the comfortability we had. I tolerated entirely too much.
“I would’ve done something with him Yani.”
I scoffed from his dumbass response. “Trust you are such a disappointment, it’s crazy.
You don’t even realize that you just called to see if you could come by and spend time when you had the time all along to do something with him.
You just wanted to be in my damn face. Look, we about to head inside. Bye.”