Chapter 21
Yani
“Bitch, I should smack the dog shit out yo’ ass for playing with me. He the nigga that sent you that fuckin’ necklace ain’t he?”
We were in the car and Trust wasn’t giving me a chance to process anything.
Everything had happened so fast that I was still in shock.
I wasn’t expecting to see Paxton, especially in no mall.
He wasn’t a social type of person. Then to be accompanied by his brother Josiaha, I was sure I would be hearing from Dawn soon.
“Yes, but Trust—”
“Shut the fuck up talking to me. Hell, he the nigga you giving your pussy to because I ain’t even been able to smell or see that muthafucka since we got back together. You foul as hell.”
I was wrong for sure, and I wasn’t going to deny that but what Trust did to me he had to know that I would get my lick back.
Initially, Paxton wasn’t supposed to be the lick at all.
I had intentions on moving on but when I started it was all for fun.
However, it grew from there and I found myself in a fucked up situation.
“Now I’m the foul one, but you built a whole family on me. Yeah okay.”
I wasn’t even moved by what Trust was talking about. I was more concerned on the hurt I caused Paxton. He showed no emotion, but I knew that he was effected by it. I played in his face and that wasn’t something I wanted to do.
“You came to me accepting my fuckin’ ring. If you know you ain’t want to be with me for real, then why the fuck did you even show up, Yani?”
“I was coming to tell you no but when I saw you, I was hit with so many memories and I wasn’t thinking straight. Trust we were never meant to be a couple again but somehow, we have been holding on to our past and letting that dictate our future. We are not good for each other.”
I explained it to him the best I could, but he wasn’t trying to hear it. Instead, he was focused on causing me more pain for hurting him in return.
“You got that shit right. My woman at home pregnant with my son anyway. I been over here trying to make it work with yo’ dumbass and neglecting the one woman that’s been rocking with me for real.”
“Xara’s pregnant again? So, if Paxton would’ve never shown up when the fuck were you going to reveal that? Seems like I’m not the only foul being here.”
The thing was Calina’s words were ringing nonstop. She said he was the same person and I genuinely thought he’d changed. I guess all it took was for you to piss somebody off for them to speak their truth.
I wasn’t even upset to be honest because Xara wasn’t the only pregnant woman in this equation.
Winnie did end up calling and giving me a time to drop by her office.
I did and walked out with an ultrasound that held two sacks.
I was pregnant with twins and planned to tell Paxton over dinner but there was no way he was going to have anything to do with me now.
We sat in the mall parking lot in silence. We were consumed in our thoughts and emotions were running high. The tension could be cut with a knife.
Cranking up the truck, he proceeded in driving us back to the house. We entered still not saying a word to each other. While I headed for the kitchen, he went upstairs. When he returned, he had his bags in tow.
“Come to the living room so we can talk like two adults. I’m not with the screaming shit no more.”
I nodded totally agreeing with him. The shouting match we engaged in was a bit too much for me to handle. We both took to the sofa occupying each end. So much was transpiring that I could barely keep up. If he was coming with more drama, then he could just leave. I had entirely too much going on.
“What’s up?” I asked because we had sat in silence for a while and he said nothing.
“Ten years ago, we were barely legal, but we were sure about us. You took a chance with me, and we made it as one for a long time. Brendon was the best thing that ever happened to me. I love y’all baby, I really do.
“But, we grew up together and unfortunately a part. You realized that before I did which was probably why it effected me worse. I thought you were my ending Trust and I tried holding on for so long.
“Hurting you wasn’t my intentions and leaving my family damn sure wasn’t the plan either.
Xara gave me drama when it came to you, but she was a breath of fresh air for me.
I didn’t want to believe it until we actually parted ways.
I missed the comfortability you provided and that made me want it back but we’re toxic, Yani.
You deserve to be happy and I’m not the person to service that.
I’ve been realizing that the more days we spend together.
We were caught up on the time we shared and not how we’ve outgrown each other. ”
“So, are we agreeing that the love will always be there but we as one is over?”
He nodded but when he gave me eye contact, I saw tears in his eyes. He was accepting it and that caused me to shed tears as well. Our memories would always be in tact but the ones we would make with our true love would overshadow those. He had Xara and I was praying I still had Paxton.
“Allow me to still be there for y’all whenever you need me, please? I don’t want to leave knowing I’m losing y’all altogether.”
“You’re welcome anytime, Trust. Let Xara know there’s nothing between us as well. I guess hit me whenever you want to see Brendon. I really hope you and Xara work out.”
“Thanks, Yani.”
He stood requesting my hand. I placed it in his and he pulled me up into his embrace.
The hug we shared was us mutually letting go.
Our time had run its course and instead of continuously arguing about the same old shit, we came to terms with reality.
That was the most adult shit either of us had ever experienced mutually.
I saw him out and thought I could have some time to rest but instead I was bombarded with my girls entering disturbing my piece twenty minutes later. All I wanted was a minute to wallow in my misery before having to reach out and fix things with Paxton.
“Yani please get up and meet us downstairs. I don’t know how long Winnie can hold Dawn back.”
“Calina why are y’all in my house? I don’t give two shits about why Dawn is upset. We ain’t really rocking with each other right now anyway.”
“Friend, I strongly advise you to go down there and talk it out with your girl because she’s pretty upset with you.”
What’s new? I threw the covers back and followed Calina downstairs to the living room. Winnie literally was holding Dawn and I was confused as to why. She had been acting funny ever since I revealed the truth about Trust and me.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“Well—” Winnie couldn’t even talk before Dawn cut her off.
“I told yo’ hoe ass before I left that restaurant that if what you were doing effected my relationship that it was going to be a problem didn’t I?” She lunged at me, and Winnie was able to keep her at bay.
“Dawn neither one of my niggas has anything to do with you. Calm the fuck down because if you lunge at me again, I will meet you half way and give you what you’re asking for,” I warned.
“No, you won’t because you’re very much pregnant. Both of y’all need to calm down and just talk it out without the violence,” Calina decided to step in.
“I am calm. Tell the pit bull to stand down because it’s not that serious,” I said taking a seat, unbothered by her theatrics.
“Dawn for real though, why you so mad?” Calina asked the million-dollar question.
“Josiaha asked me if I knew something about you and Trust and when I didn’t answer him quick enough or directly, he cut me off. Josiaha and Paxton are good men Yani, why the hell did you even let me in on this dumb shit?”
She was yelling but she was also crying at the same time. I was hurting entirely too many people and that was never my objective. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone to be honest. I was doing me for once.
“I’m sorry. I was just enjoying my freedom and not thinking about anyone but myself. However, Josiaha leaving isn’t my fault. That was something he chose to do.”
“She’s right, Dawn. Everything happening is involving her, Trust, and Paxton. Your man did what he did for his own personal reasons. Maybe you should have that conversation with him and not blame Yani,” Winnie chimed in.
She sat down and silently cried. Things were going good for us both and I had to mess it up by getting back with someone I knew meant me no good. I learned lesson after lesson dealing with Trust and today was my final one. I hate that it took this long to realize it.
“Look, I got enough I’m dealing with on my own. Paxton ran into both me and Trust in the mall today. Things were so awkward, and I just panicked. He’s never going to speak to me again,” I commented as I twiddled my fingers.
“That’s a lie. You’re pregnant with that nigga babies. He has no choice but to speak to you. When do you plan on letting him in on that?”
“Lina that man has blocked my number already. I couldn’t even call and explain myself. His silence is so fuckin’ loud.”
She took a seat next to me and began to console me. I didn’t know how I would get him to hold a conversation. It was clear that I didn’t have the privilege to converse with him anymore. It was hurting to know that I was cut off so easily.
Suddenly, the doorbell rang, and Winnie went to check it out. I didn’t mind because I didn’t want to move anyhow. I really didn’t have the strength to do so. I felt so damn drained from all the bullshit that was going on. When she returned, she had a gift box in tow. Curiosity spiked.
Handing it over, I began to inspect it. I couldn’t tell who it was from. Opening it, I immediately recognized the label. Elegant Problems was one of my favorite boutiques. However, I never ordered this dress. I removed it from the package, and it was absolutely gorgeous.