Chapter 73 Zadyn
ZADYN
Barely over a week left.
And instead of savoring every moment I have with Serena before the shit inevitably hits the fan, here I am, hiding out in the library. Using any excuse I can to avoid confronting the complicated mess I’ve made of our relationship.
I knew it was a bad idea. And yet, I was completely helpless against her. Defenseless.
I can’t run from it any longer. I can’t quell the desperation to be with her. The constant craving.
At times, it’s hard for me to even understand the complexity of my feelings for her. How when I focus, I can feel exactly what she’s feeling. I can feel her joy and sorrow as if they were my own. I can feel her laughter in my bones. I can taste the salt of her tears when she cries.
My heart is divided in two, and she wears the other half like a badge, completely unaware of the power she holds.
She’s there on the other side of this door, and I miss her. It’s pathetic.
If there were a way I could love someone else—if it were possible for me to carve these feelings out of my heart—I would.
Because it is agony.
It is agony to want her the way I do—to have every cell in my body screaming at me to touch her, hold her, please her—and to know that some small part of her will always belong to someone else.
“Should we have a bed moved in here for you?” Eaton saunters in, plopping down in the seat across from me.
“Har har.”
“I’m serious. Do you intend to cloister yourself behind these walls forever, or will you at least come out to bid Serena farewell when Kylian comes calling?”
“Why do you think I’m in here?” I snap, shoving the book I’ve been combing through aside. “I’m trying to figure out how to end this for her.”
“And that’s the only reason?” He quirks a brow, drumming his fingers on the table. “It has nothing to do with your constant pining?”
“You’re way off base,” I scoff.
“Want my advice?”
“Not particularly.”
“Too bad. Here it is. Stop wallowing. Grow some balls. Get the fuck out there and get your girl.”
“Eaton, you have no idea—”
“I know what I’m talking about, Zadyn. Nobody likes a downer. You can either sit here like a bump on a log, hoping she can see how perfect you would be together, or you can get out there and show her. Win her over the old-fashioned way.”
“Which way is that?”
“Woo her. Sweep her off her feet. Make it impossible for her to resist you. It’s not as though you lack experience. You’ve never had a problem landing other females. ”
“She’s not other females. She’s special.”
“Oh, listen to you. Wrapped around her witchy little finger.” He makes a whipping sound and mimes snapping it at me.
I’m not in the mood for this. “Eaton, either make yourself useful or get out.”
“Stop trying to deflect.”
“Stop acting like you know everything! You don’t know how this feels because you have never experienced it.
You go through people like tissue with barely any time to come up for air.
I don’t know if you’re even capable of having a real relationship.
So should I really be taking the advice of someone who would fuck anything that moves? ”
Eaton looks stung.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that, I’m—”
“Contrary to your beliefs, Zadyn, I do know how this feels.” His eyes fall to his feet as he stands. “And I also know that if you don’t make a move, someone else will. And you will be forced to watch as they ride off into the sunset.”