Chapter 38
Amir
Two weeks of interviews, a charity event with the team in Boston, and endless photo ops seemed to be working.
Clara had published another article trying to milk the Cole issue, but it didn’t gain the same amount of traction as before.
According to Renshu, we couldn’t let up yet.
We’d run damage control, and now we were ahead of it all.
That put us in the perfect position to gain good press for the team, particularly because people loved Remi.
“What do you think?” Trav asked as I pulled into the driveway.
“Sounds like a conflict of interest probably.”
“There are no rules against it.”
I tapped my head back against the seat and clutched the phone. “Yeah, fine. I mean, if you’re okay with it.”
“I’m the one who suggested it, dipshit.”
“It puts you in the middle of it. Are you sure you want that?”
“I’ve got two million subscribers and a long list of haters. I thrive on attention.”
“And Roman?”
“He likes Remi. Besides, he’s been worried about him.”
“Why?”
“Says he looks off. I don’t know. They’ve been around each other more.”
With a frown, I got out of the car. I was around him the most, so I should’ve noticed something.
Yeah, he was tired like I was, and I knew that he didn’t like doing all this PR stuff.
We were both ready to put it behind us as soon as we were allowed to.
Then, it would only be the occasional appearance, which we could handle.
“We’ll work out the details,” I said.
“Can’t wait. Y’all are going to have a blast here.”
After ending the call, I swung my keys around my finger and made my way to the door. The house was quiet when I got inside, and the lights were all off. It gave me a horrible sense of déjà vu that made me speed up.
“Remi,” I called. Pushing open the door to the bedroom, I peered inside. There was a lump in the bed, which wouldn’t be concerning if it wasn’t three in the afternoon. “Remi.”
He lifted the blanket off of his face, and his brows knitted together. “What are you doing here? It’s still light out.”
“I came back early.” I sat on the edge of the bed and settled my hand on his side. “Doesn’t the bar open in an hour?”
“Something like that.”
“Are you going to be late?”
He stared past me with a blank expression. “I’m never late.”
“You must’ve slept terribly if you’re in bed this long.” As I said it, I remembered that the bar was closed yesterday. “Do you feel okay?”
“I don’t need you to worry about me.” He threw off the covers, then got to his feet and padded to the bathroom.
“This again?”
He ignored me, and I heard the shower turn on. With a sigh, I peeled off my shirt and went in after him. When I stepped in, he whirled around, rubbing the water out of his eyes frantically.
“No reason to shower alone,” I said.
“There are a dozen reasons, actually.”
“Name half.”
“I’m not interested in games right now.”
“No games, then. Tell me what’s going on.”
“I’m tired.”
“Looks like you slept all day.”
Tipping his head back, he let the water run over his face. I moved closer and slid my hands around his sides until my fingers laced behind him. Yanking him forward, I kissed his jaw, which finally made him touch me back.
“Let’s take a break,” I murmured.
“I have to get to work.”
“Tonight, yeah, but what about Saturday?”
“We’re open six days a week. You know that.”
“So, get Oli or Dean to cover.”
Tucking his face against my neck, he breathed me in. “It’s the busiest day, and won’t you be in Georgia?”
“We can be in Georgia.”
With his head on my shoulder, he craned his neck to look up at me. “You want me to come with you?”
“Of course I do. Trav and Roman invited us to stay at their place.”
He snorted, but a familiar smile took up residence on his face. “You two are going to start rumors. The world will think we’re swingers.”
“Nah, only the overly parasocial ones will.”
“So, most.”
“But not all.”
The look on his face told me he was in agreement. I tipped my head to kiss his temple.
“We need to meet with a journalist tomorrow.”
He stiffened. “For what?”
“Just a puff piece they’re going to write. No cameras. And we’re meeting at an Italian restaurant, so there’s food involved.”
I thought it might help soften him to the idea, but he just nodded without looking at me.
“Can I come with you to the bar?” I asked.
“To what? Sit around and drink all night? Actually, drinking sounds like a fine idea.”
“To be with you. Maybe you can teach me some things so I’m more than just a bat fucker.”
Finally, he looked at me, and there was a brilliant smile on his face. “You’re going to regret asking me to coach you.”
“Oh, I know. I’ll try anything once, though.”
Turning him around, I ran my fingers through his hair. He tipped his head back and let me wash it.
In here, I could almost pretend that this was exactly what our future held.
It was part of it, but so were the things we had to do out there.
And if they made him look this dismal or caused him to stay in bed until three in the afternoon, I had to ask myself if this was really what was best for Remi. If I was best for Remi.
*****
“Do you like it here?” I asked.
Remi didn’t open his eyes from where he lounged on the back deck. His arms were folded beneath his head, propping it up so that the sun shone on his skin. I could see the blue veins in his eyelids and a faint hint of auburn in his hair that was nonexistent otherwise.
“It’s peaceful,” he said. “A little too backwoods for my liking, but good for a vacation.”
Trav’s backyard was expansive, even before it morphed into rows of trees. His place was far more modern than mine, with a farmhouse feel that Remi surprisingly didn’t find overrated. Maybe it was because Trav hadn’t doused it in those grey tones he hated.
Remi shouted in alarm when Tessa, Trav’s golden retriever, pounced on him and licked his face. He broke down in laughter, barely trying to fight her off.
“She was licking her ass in the car,” Roman said as he stepped onto the deck.
Remi got out from under her and rushed to hide behind me. I swore and tried to hold her back, but he hooked his arms around mine, pulling them behind me. With no defense, Tessa put her paws on my shoulders and licked my cheek.
“I doubt Remi’s afraid of a little ass-licking,” Trav noted.
He finally released me, so I twisted around and wrestled him to the ground. His knee connected with my stomach, knocking the wind out of me. I rolled to my side with a groan, and he left me there.
“Dick,” I muttered.
He took the carton of ice cream Trav handed him and shot me a smug look. “Get better at fighting.”
“I might have to at this point.”
He plopped down beside me and held out a spoonful of ice cream. Before he could change his mind and do something crazy like catapult it onto my face, I took the bite. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Trav snap a picture, but I tried to ignore him.
“This is good,” I said. “No wonder you’re always eating it.”
Trav patted his stomach before he joined us and dangled his legs over the edge. “Gives me a reason to work it off.”
“So does Roman,” Remi teased.
“That’s for sure. He’s insatiable.”
Roman scoffed. “Me? You’re like a bitch in heat.”
With a playful growl, Trav dove into his neck, knocking him backward.
Remi laughed at their shenanigans, and I was relieved to see him smiling more since we’d gotten here.
He’d even been up early since he’d wanted to make pancakes for everybody.
I was sure it was only an excuse to brag about winning our pancake contest back in Florida.
No mention of how he’d cheated, of course.
“Squeeze in,” Trav said. He held up his phone, barely managing to get us all in the picture. Leaning over Remi, he planted a kiss on my cheek and snapped one of us. “Perfect. Let me get you two together.”
Remi took a large bite of his ice cream, then fisted my hair to tip my head. I grunted when he kissed me and pushed his cold tongue into my mouth.
“Maybe more PG,” Trav laughed.
Perching his elbows on his knees, Remi stared out at the horizon. “I’ve had enough pictures taken for a lifetime, I think.”
Trav frowned over his head at me, but when I smiled, he slid the phone into his pocket. “What do you see out there, bud?”
“What do I see?” Remi mused. “No sirens here, no need to run; just dirt, and sky, and setting sun. Maybe peace wasn’t meant for me; but hell, it’s nice to let it be.” He laughed. “I don’t know. That was stupid.”
“I think it was nice,” Roman said. He looked similarly content as he watched the trees sway with the gentle breeze.
I rested my head on Remi’s shoulder. “How do you feel about getting on a LIVE with Trav later?” He was silent, and part of me regretted bringing it up. “Just an idea.”
“I’m not interested in talking about myself anymore.”
“It’d be more conversational than anything,” Trav added. He sounded light, like it was no big deal, but it still made Remi tense.
“Maybe we can shelve the idea for now,” Roman suggested.
“Is this why we came here?” Remi asked.
I curled my fingers over his forearm. “Of course not.”
Despite my words, he pushed me away. “Don’t play me for a fool.” He got to his feet, and I immediately followed. “You can use Trav’s platform to humanize yourself, but count me out.”
“It was just a thought. It’s not why we came.” When his eyes narrowed, I dropped mine to the ground. “It’s not the only reason.”
He gripped his hair at the roots as he stepped backward. “I’m tired of making appeals, Amir. Don’t you get that?”
When I tried to take his arm, he pivoted away from me. “Remi, let’s finish our ice cream.”
“I can’t do this.”
Without looking at me, he spun around. He slammed the sliding door closed, and I wanted to follow, but my legs felt weak. Instead, I sat again and brought my knees up, then hung my head between them.
“You two are idiots,” Roman said.
“We’re trying to help him,” Trav replied.
“Does this help him?”
“If we do it right, yeah. You know how this game works.”
“Maybe he doesn’t want to play.”
I leaned my cheek on my knee. “He’s burnt out, but he wants to change this image they’ve painted of him.”
“I don’t know that he does, really.”
“None of us want to defend ourselves to the press,” Trav pointed out. “It’s an unfortunate part of this life.”
“Yeah, exactly.” With a thoughtful expression, Roman opened the door. “Let me talk to him. I may understand more than you guys do.”
I had no argument, so I said nothing. When he was gone, Trav sat beside me. I wasn’t sure if it’d be weird, but I leaned my head against his shoulder.
“I’m afraid,” I whispered.
“I know you are, but take it from me. That fear is what will keep you from losing him.”
I wanted to believe him, but it was looking bleak.
“You can cry,” he offered. “I won’t judge you.”
“Thanks, but I think I’m good.”
“Whatever you say. I cried a god-awful amount while Roman and I were apart. I actually had to give myself a harsh pep talk rooted in toxic masculinity the likes of which Camp Dumont would be proud of.”
“If I need one, I’ll come straight to you.”
“Come on,” he said. “Let’s go for a walk. I’ve got a place that will help those big feelings melt away.”
Even though I wanted to decline, I got to my feet. More than anyone else, Trav would know what this felt like. The same went for Roman with Remi, and I didn’t know whether that made me feel better or worse.