Chapter 35 – Sophie
35
SOPHIE
I ’ve been in Cape May for ten weeks and I know this is where I’m meant to be. I came here broken and afraid of what was next for me. I feared I would never have a family and as it turns out, I have found family right here in a place that has meant so much to me my whole life. I was lost but I’m not anymore. If I were my own patient, I would have told myself to trust the unfolding of my life. To take the time to just exist and when the dust settles, you’ll find you aren’t broken, you are expanding, growing into who you are meant to be.
Liam and I have been seeing each other every day for the past three weeks. Yoga is back on! I won’t be cliche and call it a love like I’ve never known before, but it might be. We haven’t said those three words yet and I don’t expect Liam to be able to say them any time soon. Every time I feel it, I have to stop myself from blurting it out to him. Sometimes I catch him looking at me and I think, he definitely loves me . But you don’t go forty years unable to say I love you to someone and then magically you can. The chemistry between us is magnetic. When we’re together, I feel like we are two people combining to become a single soul. That is cliche, but I can’t help believing it. Things are really good. So good that when James is calling me this morning, no lump forms in my throat. I don’t have any anxiety, and I don’t wish him ill will. I do notice that I need to change his photo on my contact list because we are so not married anymore.
Liam is sitting next to me. We’re drinking smoothies at a little cafe table outside our favorite spot. Lucy is in the stroller sharing sips of Liam’s when my phone starts buzzing. We both look at James’ name for a moment. I don’t move to answer it until Liam nudges me with his foot.
“Are you going to answer that?” He tips his chin toward my phone, his blue eyes insistent. God he is handsome.
“Okay. If you’re sure you don’t mind.” I pick up my phone just before it goes to voice mail. “Hey, James,” I say coolly.
“Put it on speaker,” Liam mouths to me and I roll my eyes, but I do it because he asked.
“Hey, Sophie,” James says tentatively. “I have some news.”
“Okay…” I trail off, waiting for him to fill in the blank.
“We got an offer on the house. Ten thousand dollars over the asking price. I sent it to your inbox. If you like the stipulations, we can close really soon.” He sounds hopeful.
I meet Liam’s gaze and he silently claps his hands and mouths, “Yay!”
“How soon?” I ask. “I mean, the usual closing is like thirty days, isn’t it?”
James exhales. “That’s the thing. I’m not living there. The house has been empty and the buyers are asking if we could do it sooner.”
“Wow. Well , how soon?” I ask. “Let me open the email, hold on.”
I swipe out of the phone call and open my email app. In a PDF attachment is an official offer from the buyer's agent. I scroll to the bottom and see James has already signed his portion. It’s all dependent on me to sign the agreement. I almost want to just completely wash my hands of it. Whenever they want to close, great, let’s do it. I hold the phone up to Liam for him to skim. James is rustling around on the other end. Lucy is babbling loud enough for James to hear.
“Who is that?” James asks curiously.
“Oh, that’s Lucy.” I don’t offer any more detail than that. “This looks good. I’m in,” I say, smiling at Liam.
“Great. Any chance we can make this a two-week closing?”
“Do whatever you have to do,” I tell him. “I’ll make the drive back.”
James is obviously excited that the phone call went as well as it did. I hang up the phone and audibly exhale, as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
“Are you happy?” Liam asks, reaching for my hand.
I don’t know what I feel. Happy that I can move on, yes. Sad that this part of my life is officially over? Yes. I can’t deny that. My marriage to James was my life for thirteen years. Now I am in a new state and a new town that makes me feel nostalgic and hopeful all at the same time. And I’m falling in love with someone else. I don’t want to say all of that to Liam so I give him a warm smile instead.
“Yes,” I say emphatically. “Will you come to the closing with me? You know, for moral support.”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Liam grasps my hand and I know he means it.
* * *
The closing is set for the last Friday in June. Liam and I decide over coffee the next morning that the best option is to drive up the night before and drive home right after.
“There are plenty of hotels close by.” I purse my lips trying to remember which ones.
“Why don’t we just stay with your family?” Liam frowns, cocking his head at me.
“Oh,” I pause. “I guess we could do that.” I chew on my lip, hesitating.
“If you aren’t ready for me to meet them, that’s fine.” He looks like a wounded animal.
“No, no, that’s not it. I just haven’t really told them I’m seeing someone.” I wince.
“Is that what this is?” Liam teases, pulling me close and kissing me softly.
I pull back and swat his arm playfully. “You know what I mean. They aren’t expecting me to be serious with anyone so close to my divorce.”
Liam nods in understanding and I think maybe it’ll be dropped. Then again, I don’t want to hurt his feelings. My dad has always been approachable when I have something I have to talk about. This would be no exception.
“Okay. I’ll call my dad.” I say, reaching for Liam’s arm. “No sense putting it off since I can’t get rid of you anyway.”
Now it’s his turn to playfully nudge me. We’re going to be grossing out everyone around us with our affection for each other.
Needless to say, my dad is thrilled when I call him. He is excited to hear all about Liam, and I am careful with how much information I divulge. I want Liam to share what he is comfortable with. My dad is so happy to have us. He says he’s inviting the family over Thursday night for a barbecue, so I should prepare Liam to meet them all.
We left Lucy with Ellie and Doc for the night and made the four-hour trek to Scranton. It’s nearly 4 p.m. by the time we get there. I didn’t realize “the family” included Carol’s sons and their wives too so I am surprised when we pull Liam’s truck up to my dad’s house and there are three additional cars parked out front. They must’ve cut out of work early on a Thursday for this. “You ready?” I ask him.
He grins. “Parents love me, I’ll be fine.” He hops out of the truck and saunters around the front to open my door and help me down. Then he reaches into the bed of the truck to grab our overnight bags. We cut across the grass to the front door and it swings open before we even get on the stoop.
“Aunt Sophie!” Sammy and Sarah come barreling out and throw their arms around my legs. It’s been too long since I’ve seen them, and they look a few inches taller than they were in April.
My brother comes to the front door and wraps me in a Simon hug. “Oh, I’ve missed these hugs,” I say into his chest. I pull away from him. “This is Liam. His hugs rival yours.” I laugh.
Liam holds out his hand and Simon shakes it. “Hey, how are ya?” He grins.
Simon cocks his head and eyes Liam while he shakes his hand. “Simon.” They spend a couple of seconds sizing each other up before Simon says, “You look so familiar to me.” He scratches his chin.
“Well, he’s not from here so you wouldn’t know him.” I push Simon inside and take Liam’s hand, leading him into the foyer.
“Hey! There they are.” My dad bellows, getting up from his recliner where he’s watching the Phillies to greet us. He holds out his hand to Liam. “I’m Bill, Sophie’s dad.” Dad’s eyes are sparkling with excitement. Maybe he has been worried about me.
“Liam.” Liam shakes my dad’s hand and Dad pulls him in for a hug.
“Oh, a nice firm grip.” My dad practically shouts. “That’s a good sign, Sophie.”
Liam stifles a grin and looks my way. He’s clearly caught off guard by how enthusiastic my dad is.
“Okay, come on in. I’ll introduce you to everyone else.” My dad ushers us inside. Liam follows my dad into the living room where he introduces him to Carol’s family and offers him a beer. Simon and I watch from the foyer.
Simon side-eyes me with a smirk playing on his lips. “Didn’t take you long.”
I swat him in the chest. “Shut up,” I laugh.
“He still looks so familiar to me though. He must just have one of those faces.” Simon shrugs and we move to join the family.
All things considered, the dinner goes well. Liam is at ease and personable.
Carol catches me getting another glass of wine and whispers in my ear, “I really like him, Sophie.” She pulls me into a hug.
I really like him too. He seems to fit with my family and to be honest, James never did. I
know everyone overlooked it because they saw us in love and they thought I was happy, but this is so different. I take a sip of my wine and walk over to the picture window in the kitchen. Out back I see Simon, Liam, and Sammy playing catch. Sammy just started Little League. Watching Liam jump right in with my family is a little bit of an epochal moment for me. It feels like a different lifetime and yet exactly where I am meant to be all at the same time.
* * *
The look on James’ face when Liam walks into the closing with me is something I won’t soon forget. I actually feel a little bad for him. I fully expected him to show up with Brittany, which is why I wanted Liam there for support. James is caught off guard.
“Hi,” James says, eyeing me cautiously.
“Hey, James.” I suck in a breath. “You remember Liam.” I gesture toward him.
“Hey.” Liam holds out his hand and James shakes it. “I’m going to sit out there if you need me, Soph.” He gestures to some chairs outside the conference room. “You good?”
“Yeah, thanks.” I stand on my tiptoes to peck him on the lips before he goes. When we pull apart, he gives me a pleasantly surprised grin.
All-in-all, both men were cordial, and the closing goes off without a hitch. James and I sign the papers and congratulate the new owners who look to be happy and naive newlyweds. Liam hangs back but I know he’s there if I need him. The realtor hands us each a separate check and for the first time since all of this started, I know I’m okay.
When we leave, we pause outside the office building and James and Liam shake hands.
“Take care of her,” James says, eyeing Liam carefully.
Liam grins, stepping back to be at my side and draping his arm around me. “It’s my pleasure.”
James and I hug goodbye.
“Good luck, Sophie,” James murmurs in my ear as we embrace.
“You too.” I pull away. “With everything.” I surprise myself because I actually mean it.
I think it’s time to have a conversation with Liam about us and where he thinks this is going. I realize that to a guy like Liam, that might mean pressure he isn’t ready for but seeing him with my family has made my feelings for him grow deeper. I want to know if he’s in it for the long haul with me. Plus, I haven’t told him about the possibility of moving back here and I need to talk to Claire’s friend. We climb in the truck to head out and Claire’s ears must have been ringing because suddenly my phone is.
“Hey stranger!” I say, answering FaceTime.
“Where are you?” Claire makes an impatient face.
“On our way to see you!” I grin. When I found out about the closing, I called Claire that night and we planned to meet her and Derek for lunch before driving back to Cape May.
“Yay! Okay. We’ll meet you at La Azteca in…twenty?”
“Sounds great.” I hang up and smile over at Liam who is punching the address in his GPS. I grab his thigh and give it a squeeze. Everything feels right.
He glances over at me, a mischievous look in his eyes. “Should I find somewhere to pull over?”
“No!” I laugh. “We’ll be late. There will be plenty of lovin’ when we get home.” I lean in for a kiss. Home. That sounds right.
* * *
Lunch is perfect. The conversation is good, and the margaritas hit the spot. I am so happy that this little trip worked out for Liam to meet my family and for me to see Claire. I think I actually can have the best of both worlds.
We’re standing outside of the restaurant and the guys are talking about the Phillies lineup while Claire and I hug goodbye.
“Before I forget,” she says, pulling back, “please call Trevor. He needs to know if you’re interested and if you want to meet with him. I don’t care what you decide, but just call him so I don’t look like a jerk.”
“I promise, I will.” I give her one last squeeze. “Come down and visit soon!” I say as I climb in the truck. “The beach misses you.”
We’re quiet for the first few minutes of the drive, I’m humming happily to the radio, and Liam is focused on the road. I glance over at him and notice he is a little tense, so I reach for his leg and rub it. He doesn’t look my way.
“Everything okay?” I ask him.
“Yeah. I’m fine.” His reply is curt.
“Really? Because you don’t seem fine.” I press, pulling my hand back. “Your body language changed completely.”
Liam ignores that and sighs. “Who is Trevor?” he asks brusquely.
“I didn’t think you heard that,” I mutter under my breath.
“What was that?” he asks, glancing at me and then back to the road.
Okay so we’re doing this now.
“Trevor is Claire’s old intern. He is opening a practice back here in Scranton, and he asked if I would be interested in working out of it.” I sigh. I glance over at him waiting for his response.
“You told him no though…” It’s a statement, not a question. Followed by, “Right?”
I don’t like Liam’s implication that I should have definitely told him no or the direction this conversation is going. We haven't had any sort of conversation about a serious commitment since the night we first got together. “I haven’t told him anything yet,” I admit with a shrug. “I haven’t even called him.”
Liam exhales like he might be relieved to hear this.
“But I have to call him,” I say, like he should already know that.
“To tell him you aren’t interested?” Liam glances over at me. I’m quiet for a minute thinking about what I should say. Liam seems bothered by my hesitation. “Sophie, you aren’t interested in moving back here, right? I thought you were staying in Cape May.” His voice wavers.
“I don’t know, Liam. I don’t even know the details of the job yet.” I lean my head back against the seat. This is not how I saw this conversation going.
“What about Lucy?” he asks warily. But what he really means is ‘ what about us ?’
“I have to take the call, Liam. I promised Claire I would. And we haven’t even had a conversation about where we stand.” There, I answered both the spoken and unspoken questions.
“Where we stand?” Liam scoffs.
“There is plenty of time for us to discuss this,” I say calmly. “I wasn’t even sure if we are a we . That’s why I didn’t bring it up yet.” I pause and wait for him to reply.
Liam swallows and pulls the car over to the shoulder. He puts the car in park and turns to me. “Sophie, I’m not good at confessing feelings, as you have probably figured out by now.” He licks his lips and reaches for my hands. “I’ve spent every free moment I’ve had with you so maybe I just thought it was obvious but Sophie, I’m totally gone for you.”
My breath hitches in my throat. “You are?” I whisper.
Liam’s lips curl up lightly and he kisses my knuckles. “I am. I’m sorry if I scared you. It scares me to think of you leaving.”
How could I leave this man? But it’s fast and putting all my eggs in one basket is scary too. I swallow the lump forming in my throat. Traffic is whizzing by and I’m anxious to get on the road. “Liam, I care about you—and Lucy—so much,” I murmur. “This is just something I have to decide for myself. Can you just give me some time to figure things out?”
Liam sighs. “I don’t want to, but I will,” he grumbles.
“Thank you.” I reach forward and pull his mouth to mine by his T-shirt and plant a kiss on his mouth.
He pulls back onto the road, and we head for home.