Chapter 21 Chaos
Charisma got a little too comfortable last night. As we lay in bed, talking about CJ, she started up on the old shit about me leaving the MC. I told her that I wasn’t doing that, and she asked what kind of life we could have with me being affiliated with crime.
She said that she didn’t want her and CJ living a life on the run or him being exposed to the club activities. She pointed out that it also didn’t align with the public image she had built for herself.
In the end, we argued. I slept in the guest bedroom on sheets that smelled like my little boy, making me miss him. I hated that what had been a beautiful evening turned into an ugly night.
This morning, she brought it up again, and we argued some more. I think it’s time to give her a heavy dose of reality that we can’t be together. I’m not changing who the fuck I am, and I don’t know why she expects me to.
Why is it that women always want to make a man into their image? She needs to go out and find that perfect fucking man. When I told her that, she said that she already had, but I had kidnapped her from him. He was everything that a woman could want in a man, is what she said.
That pissed me the fuck off, and I went off. She ran upstairs to the bedroom, and I was hot on her ass. It took hours before we calmed down enough to even have a civil conversation.
Now that we’re pulling up to the clubhouse, that same tension pulsates between us. She climbs off the bike, throws her helmet at me, and storms away. I forced her to come today. She said that she wasn’t in the mood to be friendly or make small talk.
That’s fine; she doesn’t have to talk to a muthafucka, but she is coming because I said so. I snatch her helmet off the ground where it rests and place it on my bike before I follow her inside.
She’s in a corner pouting, and I see Juicy and Torch approach her. They say something to her, and she looks at me and rolls her eyes. They both turn to look in my direction, too, but I’m not on that shit.
I walk to where they’re sitting and snatch her up by the arm. “Aye. Don’t ever throw a muthafuckin’ thing at me again. You got that shit?” I shout so close to her face that I can see the deep amber sparkling in her eyes.
“Chaos,” Juicy warns with a harsh look on her face.
“Mind ya bizness, Juicy,” I growl.
“Just calm down, Chaos,” Torch pleads.
“You see this shit? You wanna throw tantrums and sashay ya li’l ass in here and show out for them. Now you bringing innocent folks in our shit. I’m not on that. Like I said, throw another thing at me, and I’m spanking that ass, Charisma.”
She snatches her arm. “Grow up, Chaos.”
I snatch her back again. “Keep frontin’,” I growl in a low warning tone.
When her eyes water, I release her and shake my head.
“Ya ass gon’ learn to quit playing games with me, girl.
I’m a grown ass man.” Turning from her, I call out to one of the sweetbutts passing by.
“Aye, Spank! Have you seen Digger or Priest?”
“Yeah, they’re holed up in his office again, baby,” she answers, sashaying by me in her bikini panties and nothing else. She pops herself on the ass and winks. “This ass misses you,” she calls out and blows a kiss as she saunters by.
“That bitch,” I hear Charisma hiss in the background.
“Girl, don’t play into that shit,” Juicy replies.
I walk away from them. It’s ironic that the same people Charisma wants me to stay away from are the same ones that she runs toward to have her side in our argument. I grunt and head straight to the back where Priest and Digger are. I knock on the door and wait for Priest to call out before I enter.
“Wassup, boy?” I greet Digger, who daps me up when I walk in.
“Can’t call it, my guy.” He hands me a beer, which I take and immediately open. I guzzle that bitch down as I drop down onto the couch.
“The fuck? Are you good, bruh?” Digger asks.
“I would be if it weren’t for nagging ass women.”
Priest shakes his head and replies, “Yeah, welcome to my world.”
“Difference between your world and mine is that your woman is cool with your world. She’s a part of it.”
“She wasn’t always,” he replies, turning his beer up.
“She eventually grew to be cool with it, though, after she realized her daddy wasn’t shit, and you were saving her,” Digger interjects.
He sighs. “Yeah, but it took some time. It’s gon’ take some time for you, too, Chaos.”
“I ain’t got that type of time.”
“Sounds like you’ve got some decisions to make,” Digger declares.
“Yeah. Maybe. Anyway, wassup? What did you call me down for?” I ask him.
“Your boy has finally showed his hand. Not openly or shit like that, but my sources say the senator has been looking for her and is discussing putting out a missing person’s alert for her.”
“On what grounds?” I ask, folding my arms over my chest.
“According to my sources, he’s ready to go public with their relationship.”
“Why, when it was important for them to keep it a secret?” I ask.
“He’s going to release a statement explaining that they have been dating for a while, but they chose to keep their relationship out of the public eye to protect it, to protect her son, and to give them a chance to grow.
He’s going to spin the narrative that she disappeared with Emmanuel’s assault, and he and his staff firmly believe the two are connected.
He’s also going to request the police to re-open his wife, Ashley’s, murder investigation. ”
“You sure?” Priest asks.
“Yeah. He’s going to say that he doesn’t feel that Charisma is safe, because the murderer has resurfaced, and he’s worried that she may have a target on her back.”
“That nigga’s dead,” I growl in a low tone.
“Keep your cool, and let’s work the plan.”
“We don’t have time, Priest!” I thunder.
“And we don’t have time for you to blow this shit up with your temper. She’s safe, CJ’s safe, and you’re safe.”
“But for how long?”
“Just as we’re working on pulling all the players together and exposing the truth, I’m working on a little something else for you too.”
“Like what?” I ask, narrowing my eyes at my prez.
“Something to give you what you want without getting your hands dirty.”
“He’s determined to bring her out into the spotlight, Priest. He’ll do it because he knows that it will expose Chaos, and that risk will shut him down one way or another,” Digger explains. “He’s not interested in letting Charisma go that easily. Not like we thought at first.”
Quietly, I’m starting to think it might be easier to let Charisma go.
I know how she feels about the MC, and I can’t expect her to just up and change.
She wants what he represents. She doesn’t want me, not like I thought she did.
I for damn sure ain’t leaving the MC. This shit is starting to be more trouble than it’s worth.
“Where are we on the plan?” I ask Priest.
“Sunny is on it as we speak.”
“Cool.” I blow out an extended breath and clap my hands together. With a slight nod, I reply, “My patience has been wearing thin. But I’m feeling peace again now that shit’s about to shake like a stripper in the cold.”
“A’ight, I’ll keep you posted. I got some calls to make. Get y’all asses out of here,” Priest commands, waving his hand at Digger and me.
We grab another beer from his fridge, hop up, and leave his office. No sooner than I step into the multi-purpose room, I see trouble heading my way. Before I dip out of sight, I realize that it might work in my favor.
I need to put distance between Charisma and me, because I know that I can’t afford to fall in love.
Our lives won’t align, because we’re too different, and there’s no point in risking my heart to get it smashed again.
I know in the end, she could never be happy with me anyway, and she will want someone who can give her the life that she wants.
She’s said it and proven it to me already.
Might as well dead this shit now before it goes any further.
I don’t want my little man caught up thinking that we’re about to be this happy family.
That’s the same shit my old man used to do, in and out of our home.
He was always a part of my life, but he wasn’t always there with Mama.
Sometimes, we thought they were going to make up, and we would be happy only to be disappointed again. I’m not doing that shit to CJ.
“Wassup, Wildflower? Wassup, Spank?” I ask the sweetbutts as they grab my hands and walk with me.
“That’s what we were wondering,” Spank answers as they lead me toward the back of the room.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about?”
“We’re still trying to host a private welcome back party for you. You ran out of here that day before we got to have some fun, and we haven’t seen you since,” Spank announces as we take a seat on the couch.
“Aww, Spank, don’t be like that, pretty girl. You’ve seen me around.”
“Yeah, acting like you’re married,” she states with a pout.
“And she’s not even all that pretty,” Wildflower comments.
“Who?” I ask, lifting slightly off the couch to stare at Wildflower as if she’s lost her mind.
“That chick you’ve been hanging with,” she replies.
I fall out laughing. “Ya ass is crazy. You’ve got jokes. Don’t be like that.”
“I mean, if you go for the big lipped kind. Looks like she came straight from the forest.”
Wildflower is slim with big titties and a small but firm ass. She’s light skinned with hazel eyes, and long, honey blonde hair. I’ve heard that she’s biracial, but no one seems to know what she’s mixed with.
I think she’s just a pretty, light-skinned black girl. But she always throws shade at girls who are darker than her, including other sweetbutts. She’s pretty, too, but she’s not more beautiful than Charisma.
“Listen, Wildflower, don’t be hating on her. She’s beautiful, and you know it. I personally like her lips a lot. Makes a man feel good. You know what I’m saying?” I ask, licking my own as I stare into Wildflower’s hazel eyes.
“But the action is in the tongue and the throat. I know she can’t do the shit I do. Can’t no bitch compare to me,” Wildflower states.
“Is that right?”
“Yeah, and you know it,” she replies, moving to sit on my lap.
“Maybe he forgot, girl.” Spank instigates, dragging her hand up my inner thigh as Wildflower kisses my neck.
“Y’all know y’all wildin’, right?”
“If she’s all that, why aren’t you over there with her?” Wildflower asks.
“Maybe I’m not feeling that right now. Maybe we’re not seeing eye to eye. No matter what it is, you need to not worry about her.”
I see Charisma turn in my direction as someone points at the three of us back here on the couch. Her bright face turns red with fury, and Torch says something to her, but she shakes her head.
Wildflower’s hand is on my dick, and she’s still kissing my neck. Spank is kissing the other side of my neck as Charisma bolts up from the chair she was sitting on and heads out of the clubhouse.
“Let me suck you and make you feel really good,” Wildflower whispers as she sucks on the shell of my ear.
That will push her away if she sees that shit, but I’m not trying to destroy her.
“Aye, Winky!” I call to one of our prospects.
He beelines in my direction. “Go follow Venom and make sure that her ass doesn’t leave the property,” I command, calling her by the nickname everyone at the MC has come to know her as.
“Gotcha.”
“So, what’s it gonna be?” Wildflower asks.
“You know what? Think I’m about to go play a round of pool with my brothers. I’m good, ladies.”
I gently lift Wildflower off my lap and move Spank back as I get up and head away from them.
Guilt washes over me about my actions, but I’m doing what’s in our best interests, right? Then why do I feel like shit?