Chapter 5 - Chaos
I'm being ridiculous.
I shouldn't be here. Ruby doesn't need me to pick her up. The wind died down hours ago. The walk home would be fine. She's a grown woman, she can handle herself.
Except I can't stop thinking about how exhausted she looked yesterday, facing down her piece-of-shit ex and her manipulative parents. About the way she held that kid so tight, like he was the only good thing in her world.
This morning, I heard her struggling to get out the door. I heard Liam's excited chatter and her stressed voice trying to hurry him along. I watched from my window as she stumbled down the sidewalk in the wind, that kid getting heavier with every step, and everything in me wanted to help.
But I didn't. I stayed inside like a coward, telling myself I needed to keep my distance. That getting involved with her beyond basic neighbor help was a bad idea.
King's words from yesterday’s meeting kept repeating in my head: *"Don't fuck up your patch by getting distracted."*
So, I pretended I didn't see her. Pretended I didn't hear her. Let her walk to work in that brutal wind while I sat on my ass drinking coffee.
The guilt's been eating at me all day.
That meeting last night at the clubhouse ran long.
King wanted full details about the incident with Ruby's family, and I gave them everything from Marcus swinging at me to the parents' threats about taking the kid.
Tank looked ready to hunt them down himself, especially after what he went through with Amelia's abusive ex.
"Keep an eye on the situation," King told me. "If they come back, you call the club. We handle it together."
"Yes, sir."
"And Chaos?" King's blue eyes locked on mine. "Don't get too involved. You're still a prospect. You've got responsibilities to the club first."
I nodded, but the warning sat heavy in my gut. Because the truth is, I'm already too involved. I spent all last night lying awake, listening for sounds from Ruby's house, making sure no one came back to harass her.
But King's right. I can't let myself get distracted. I'm so close to getting my patch. After months of proving myself, of taking every shit assignment without complaint, of standing with my brothers against the Iron Eagles, I'm finally about to become a full member.
I can't fuck that up over a woman.
Except here I am at 4:55, waiting outside her work like I couldn't stay away if I tried. And that’s not even the worst part. I actually used Savage Rider’s connections to figure out where she was working.
Through the shop window, I can see Ruby moving around inside, talking to an older woman who must be the owner.
Ruby's short ginger hair catches the afternoon light, and even from here I can see how much more relaxed she looks than yesterday.
Her shoulders aren't hunched up around her ears. She's smiling.
Good. She deserves to smile.
The kid is sitting on the counter, swinging his legs and chattering. Ruby says something to him and he laughs, that bright, uninhibited sound that only kids can make.
I remember being that age. Sort of. Most of my early childhood is a blur of fever dreams and my parents' arguments. But there were a few good moments. My mom reading me stories when I was too sick to sleep. My dad teaching me how to throw a baseball during one of my rare healthy periods.
Before everything went to shit. Before the constant illness turned me into a burden they couldn't wait to get rid of.
I shake off the memory and check my phone again. 4:57.
A couple walks past, giving me curious looks. I probably look like a stalker, lurking outside a flower shop with my motorcycle parked at the curb. Whatever. Let them stare.
At exactly five o'clock, the shop door opens and Ruby emerges with Liam on her hip, a bag slung over her shoulder. She's talking to him about something, making animated expressions that have him giggling.
Then she sees me.
She stops so abruptly that Liam looks up at her face, following her gaze to where I'm standing.
"Chaos?" Her hazel eyes are wide, uncertain. "What are you doing here?"
Now that she's actually in front of me, my prepared speech evaporates. I feel like an idiot standing here with my helmet, no good excuse for why I came.
"Thought you might want a ride home," I say, trying to sound casual. "Save you the walk."
"I—" She blinks. "You came all the way here to give me a ride?"
"We're neighbors. It's on my way." Technically true, even if I came here specifically for her. "Wind's died down but it's still cold. Kid probably doesn't need to walk in it again."
She looks down at her son, then back at me, clearly torn.
"I don't want to impose," she says quietly. "You've already done so much—"
"Ruby." I take a step closer, keeping my voice gentle. "It's a five-minute ride. You're not imposing. I'm offering."
She bites her lip, and I try not to notice how the gesture draws my attention to her mouth. How her lips are full and pink and—
Stop it.
"I've never been on a motorcycle before," she admits. "And Liam—"
"Right. The kid." Fuck, I hadn't thought that through. Can't exactly put a two-year-old on a bike. "I could walk with you? Help carry him?"
"You'd walk with us?"
"Why not?" I shrug like it's no big deal, even though offering to walk when I have a perfectly good bike feels weird as hell. "Got nothing else to do."
That's a lie. I've got a list of things I should be doing. Bike maintenance, checking in with the club, hitting the gym. But standing here looking at Ruby's exhausted eyes and the way Liam's weight is already making her shoulder dip, none of that matters.
"Okay," she says finally, and relief floods through me. "If you're sure."
"I'm sure." I gesture down the street. "Shall we?"
She falls into step beside me, adjusting Liam on her hip. The kid studies me with serious eyes, his thumb in his mouth.
"Hey, little man," I say to him. "Remember me from yesterday?"
Liam doesn't respond, just keeps staring.
"He's shy around new people," Ruby explains. "Especially men."
I don't blame him.
"That's smart," I tell Liam. "Don't trust people until you know they're safe."
Ruby glances at me, "That's a sad way to live."
"It's a realistic way to live."
I've learned that lesson the hard way. Trust the wrong person and you get burned. Trust no one and you stay safe. Except I trusted King. Trusted the club. And they haven't let me down yet.
We walk in silence for a block. Ruby seems to be struggling with something, opening her mouth then closing it again without speaking.
"Just say it," I tell her.
"Say what?"
"Whatever's bouncing around in your head. You keep looking at me like you want to ask something."
"Is it that obvious?"
"Pretty obvious, yeah."
"I just—" She pauses, adjusting Liam again. "I heard your motorcycle last night. Late. Past midnight. I was wondering... where were you?"
The question sounds casual, but there's something underneath it. Concern, maybe? Or just curiosity?
"Club meeting," I say. "Ran late. We were discussing some business."
"What kind of business?" Then she shakes her head quickly. "Sorry, that's probably not something you can talk about."
"It's not a secret. We were discussing legitimate business. King and Luna are expanding our medical supply company. Plus planning some charity rides." I leave out the part where King grilled me about the incident with her family. "Nothing exciting."
"You're really working to become a full member? That's a big deal?"
"Biggest deal of my life." The words come out intense. "I've been a prospect for eight months. I did everything they asked and more. Helped take down a rival club two months ago. After that, I thought for sure I'd get my patch, but..."
"But?"
"King doesn't rush things. He wants to make sure prospects are ready, that they understand what it means to be a brother." I kick at a rock on the sidewalk. "I get it. I respect it. But the waiting is killing me."
"Why is it so important to you?" Ruby asks. "The club, I mean."
No one's ever asked me that before. The brothers just understand. Most of them came from similar places, needed the same thing I needed when I walked into that clubhouse for the first time.
But Ruby's looking at me with genuine curiosity, and I find myself wanting to answer honestly.
"Because they're family," I say. "The family I chose instead of the one I was born into. They've got my back no matter what. They don't see me as weak or broken or a burden. They see me as a man who can handle his shit."
"Your real family... they saw you as weak?"
"They saw me as a problem. I was sick a lot as a kid. Really sick. In and out of hospitals until we couldn't afford it anymore. After that, my parents just tried to manage it at home."
"That must have been scary."
"It was. But what was scarier was listening to them fight about me.
My dad would yell about the medical bills, about how much I was costing them.
My mom would cry and say it wasn't my fault, but you could tell she was exhausted from taking care of me.
They blamed each other. They blamed me. And eventually, they just.. . gave up trying."
Ruby's steps slow. "That's horrible."
I shrug, uncomfortable with the sympathy in her voice. "It made me stronger. When I turned eighteen, I left. My dad tried to stop me, said I'd never survive on my own. We fought. Physically fought. I won, walked out, and never looked back."
"How long has it been since you've seen them?"
"Six years." And I don't regret it for a second. "They made their choice. I made mine."
We walk another block in silence. Liam has fallen asleep against Ruby's shoulder, his little mouth open, completely trusting that his mom will keep him safe.
"I understand that," Ruby says finally. "Making your own family. My parents stopped being family the day they kicked me out for keeping Liam. My ex stopped being anything to me the second he walked away."
"Their loss." I mean it. "You're doing a hell of a job with the kid. Anyone can see that."
She looks down at Liam, her expression so full of love it makes my chest hurt. "He's everything to me. Everything I do is for him."
"That's how it should be." Unlike my parents, who made me feel like an obligation they couldn't escape.
"Your turn to answer a question," I say, wanting to shift the focus off the heavy shit. "How was your first day? The flower shop treating you right?"
Her whole face lights up. "It was wonderful. Mrs. Henderson is so kind, and the work is peaceful. She let me set up a playpen for Liam in the back room, and he was so good all day. And she—" Ruby's voice gets thick. "She shared her lunch with me. Just gave me half her sandwich like it was nothing."
The fact that someone sharing a sandwich makes her emotional tells me everything about how rough she's had it.
"She sounds like good people."
"She is. This whole town seems... different. Kinder than where we've been."
"Blackwater Falls looks after its own," I say. "And you're one of us now."
"Am I?" She glances at me. "She said the same thing, but I've only been here three days."
"You live here. You work here. That makes you one of us." I bump my shoulder gently against hers. "Plus, you're my neighbor. That means you're under my protection whether you like it or not."
She laughs, but there are tears in her eyes. "You barely know me."
"So? I know enough." I know she's brave. I know she's a good mother. I know she's been through hell and came out swinging. "Besides, we're friends now. Friends look out for each other."
"Friends," she repeats softly, like she's testing the word. "I can't remember the last time I had a friend."
"Well, you've got one now."
We reach our street, and I can see both our houses ahead. Ruby's steps slow as we approach, like she doesn't want the walk to end.
I don't want it to end either, which is dangerous as hell.
"Thank you," she says when we stop in front of her porch. "For walking with me. For being here yesterday. For everything."
"Stop thanking me." It comes out rougher than I mean. "You don't owe me anything, Ruby."
"I know, but—"
"But nothing." I take a breath, forcing myself to soften my tone. "You need help, I help. That's what friends do."
She shifts Liam's sleeping weight, "Why do I get the feeling you don't let many people be your friend?"
Too perceptive. "Because I don't."
"Then I'm honored." She smiles. "Truly."
I should leave. Should put distance between us before I do something stupid like offering to cook her dinner or asking her to hang out or—
"Do you want to come inside?" The words are out of her mouth before I can escape. "I could make some coffee? It's not much, but it's the least I can do after you walked me home."
No. I fucking should say no.
"Yeah," I hear myself say. "Coffee sounds good."
Her smile widens, and I'm fucked. Completely and utterly fucked.
Because King was right. I'm getting distracted. But standing here looking at Ruby's tired, hopeful face, I can't bring myself to care.